Thanks for the feedback. Not my best work I must say. Starting a story is always the hardest part..
I'm already reworking part one and will likely edit it tomorrow. It's not like I'm in a hurry as chances are slim anybody can pick up from what I put in. The idea of having an intrigue and trickery focused story via writing prompts might have been shit from the start anyway. I will see about writing one or two more parts to set up a nice framework for a story to happen in.
Themes I have in mind are city states of dubious loyality, really, really weird Perrein cuisine, betrayal and duels of escalating intensity.
My plan is to set the world up so that it's not as close to the comic canon as one would expect. This is pre contact and pre electricity. So many Loroi traditions are different. I'll aim for a rather large and important civilian population for example. City states just screams craftsmen and rich traders to me. The warrior caste will differentiate by using the rapier, as sort of a gentlemanly weapon for duels. Civilians will mostly forgoe steel weapons in favour of clubs, spears, meat cleavers.. Don't worry about other weapons for warriors, there have been many forms of rapiers, many of which for proper warfare. Of course they'll carry sidearms like daggers, bucklers and perhabs something wild like a
lantern.
What I'm saying is, give me a few days.