Writing Prompts
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Re: Writing Prompts
in regards to the current chap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW68goC4_es
SpoilerShow
'Cause you can't respect a person you can kick around like a dog.
- dragoongfa
- Posts: 1921
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Re: Writing Prompts
My meme meter is off a little. Isn't the slow clap meant for sarcasm?Warringrose wrote:in regards to the current chap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW68goC4_es
SpoilerShow'Cause you can't respect a person you can kick around like a dog.
Yeah but will the word of four 'compromised' warriors be enough to a true hardliner who backed the tithric genocide?Jethreuel wrote:I think it was said earlier that between the Teidar, the Mizol, and the Listel, that the Loroi may have already gotten all the info that the Loroi could possiblly want for, especially given how open he was at the beginning when the Lotai was finally circumvented, and when he allowed Beryl to sift through his mind to see what all was done.
EDIT:
SpoilerShow
The way I see it there are two (formally three) ways out of this:
1) Inform Duskcrown that someone(s) far high up were aware of humanity for four hundred years and had prepared a 'welcome' message for when contact would be made (i.e. push this upstairs).
2) Somehow bring into doubt the mental fitness of a sector commander who just had half her fleet destroyed and will (probably) order the mental interrogation of a declared diplomat.
Third was Alex's attempt to cause enough of a political stink if anything happened to him.
1) Inform Duskcrown that someone(s) far high up were aware of humanity for four hundred years and had prepared a 'welcome' message for when contact would be made (i.e. push this upstairs).
2) Somehow bring into doubt the mental fitness of a sector commander who just had half her fleet destroyed and will (probably) order the mental interrogation of a declared diplomat.
Third was Alex's attempt to cause enough of a political stink if anything happened to him.
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Re: Writing Prompts
Nah, meant for appreciation.
Re: Writing Prompts
SpoilerShow
Third doesn't need to exclude the other two. Alex trying to cause enough stink to save his own hide - or rather mind - was the most sensible choice - he wouldn't stand aside and see his fate decided for him and continue to live.dragoongfa wrote:The way I see it there are two (formally three) ways out of this:
1) Inform Duskcrown that someone(s) far high up were aware of humanity for four hundred years and had prepared a 'welcome' message for when contact would be made (i.e. push this upstairs).
2) Somehow bring into doubt the mental fitness of a sector commander who just had half her fleet destroyed and will (probably) order the mental interrogation of a declared diplomat.
Third was Alex's attempt to cause enough of a political stink if anything happened to him.
Stillstorm could earn major points with him by declaring herself to be on his side - which would count much higher since she was skeptical about him at the start to say the least. There's no more ardent follower than the ones which completely turned around.
And then there's Beryl. Of course if she ever gets wind of it she wouldn't take the news lying down. I could almost imagine a scene featuring Beryl chewing out - or trying to - Tempo.
Dibs on the next part. I already have a rough outline how this could play a bit further.
Re: Writing Prompts
And since his connection to that eidetic memory was fully open, several times, with the shortest connection available, I'm only wondering when everyone else recognizes, that Beryl must have all his information stored inside her (possibly unconsciously, as she was busy doing other things, but that's an eidetic memory for you - she has it, she just needs the right triggers to recall it, and consequently "flag" them to refind them).
And I fear Tempo and Fireblade are less inclined to protect Beryl than they would protect Alexander.
And I fear Tempo and Fireblade are less inclined to protect Beryl than they would protect Alexander.
The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! Late backing possible, more info soon.
Re: Writing Prompts
That last part was something. Well done. Alex reaction is very human and understandable. He rightfully has lost his trust in Tempo.
I have a couple ideas how to take this now. But feel free to write whatever you want and don't wait for me.
I have a couple ideas how to take this now. But feel free to write whatever you want and don't wait for me.
Re: Writing Prompts
Well, I was writing while you commented here:
http://www.well-of-souls.com/forums/vie ... 604#p31604
Take it wherever you want, or even ignore my input. We can always collapse an element into a spoiler if the next one decides to ignore it.
http://www.well-of-souls.com/forums/vie ... 604#p31604
Take it wherever you want, or even ignore my input. We can always collapse an element into a spoiler if the next one decides to ignore it.
The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! Late backing possible, more info soon.
Re: Writing Prompts
Damm it. Got ninja'd. But, this is too good to pass up. Guess I have to revise a good part of my writings. No matter. It changes quite a bit with the situation, but the overall goings-on might stay on track. MostlyKrulle wrote:Well, I was writing while you commented here:
http://www.well-of-souls.com/forums/vie ... 604#p31604
Take it wherever you want, or even ignore my input. We can always collapse an element into a spoiler if the next one decides to ignore it.
Re: Writing Prompts
Yeah, I introduced some pretty big changes there....
I'm curious to see where you'll take us....
I'm curious to see where you'll take us....
The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! Late backing possible, more info soon.
Re: Writing Prompts
Stay curious no longer, new part is up.
- dragoongfa
- Posts: 1921
- Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 9:26 pm
- Location: Athens, Greece
Re: Writing Prompts
It serves neatly with what I have in mind so I call dibs
Re: Writing Prompts
*grabs out popcorn*
That's gonna be good.
I have some ideas on how to prevent this meeting again, but dragoongfa is much better than me, plus he called dibs. (And I don't have time right now.) Let's see how he prevents Stillstorm enjoying Alexander's warm embrace this time.
And to all those who complained that Beryl is just a nice face in this story, she has the potential now to become a major bargain chip.... By either side.
She has the information her superiors and her nation wants, but cannot unlock herself fully. Alex holds the key, but doesn't actually know how it works.
And Beryl herself? She might have changed allegiance already, and become the first employee of the terran mission to the Union.
That's gonna be good.
I have some ideas on how to prevent this meeting again, but dragoongfa is much better than me, plus he called dibs. (And I don't have time right now.) Let's see how he prevents Stillstorm enjoying Alexander's warm embrace this time.
And to all those who complained that Beryl is just a nice face in this story, she has the potential now to become a major bargain chip.... By either side.
She has the information her superiors and her nation wants, but cannot unlock herself fully. Alex holds the key, but doesn't actually know how it works.
And Beryl herself? She might have changed allegiance already, and become the first employee of the terran mission to the Union.
The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! Late backing possible, more info soon.
Re: Writing Prompts
Amazing job, all. This is really getting good.
Re: Writing Prompts
With a bucketload of human knowledge in mind, waiting to be accessed by triggers? And them already showing up in her speech and sanzai? I think she is already competing with Tempo for the title "Human Whisperer"*).Krulle wrote:And Beryl herself? She might have changed allegiance already, and become the first employee of the terran mission to the Union.
*) Oder wie man auch "Menschenversteher" ins Englische übersetzen kann.
Re: Writing Prompts
SpoilerShow
Alex wondered how this woman could think of sex of all things now. He could do nothing but stare at her, hoping this was again one of her tricks. As the seconds passed the realisation set in, that Stillstorm was serious.
In the back of his mind, he remembered what Tempo had told him, when they were still on speaking terms. While he was still trying to formulate a polite yet firm refusal, Stillstorm spoke again.
"Don't give me that look. The theory needs to be tested and it can't be with a Loroi you like. And since you already accepted..."
Having overcome his shock, Alex said: "Commander Stillstorm, in the terran Scout Corps it is strictly forbidden to have affairs with superiors. As representative of humanity I have to refuse."
"You are serving on a Loroi warship and fall under Loroi laws now. This theory will be tested. Since you are privy to sensitive information, your choice of options are limited to senior officers." Stillstorm calmly laid out.
Alex broke eye contact and glanced at the others. Tempo didn't look up and he didn't try for long. Fireblade stared ahead stoically, yet couldn't hide her surprise fully. Beryl was turning blue but otherwise very brave. The feelings he got from her via Sanzai were indicating quite a bit of turmoil in her. He tried his best to assuage her.
Having found more resolve, he answered Stillstorm: "Commander, that would go against my duties and my personal conduct of honour. Please do not ask this of me. I will have to refuse."
"Rest assured, Captain, that I have no intention of forcing the matter. This discussion can wait anyway. Our immediate concern has to be to restore Sanzai to this ship before combat renews."
With Stillstorms switch of topics, a wave of relief from Beryl warmed Alex. That gave him confidence enough to push on.
"Commander, I have already given you my opinion. I see no other alternatives. If I knew how to, I would stop."
"See, Captain, I already know the problem." said Stillstorm. "You are the worst diplomat I have ever seen." That drew sharp breaths from Alex, Beryl and Fireblade.
"Excuse me?"
"The issue is one of trust, no? Your Lotai is acting up, because you have lost trust in us." With a sideglance to Tempo, she added: "Tell me, how did that happen?"
That puzzled Alex, Beryl and Fireblade too from what feelings he received from them.
"Commander, you already know that. Parat Tempo refused to send a diplomatic message, effectively cutting me off from the rest of the Union."
Stillstorm was actually shaking her head in disbelief. "How did you plan to send your message to the rest of the Union, Captain?"
"As a diplomat via your network, of course, Commander."
"How do messages travel from system to system, Captain?" Stillstorm asked perfectly calm.
It dawned on him then, that he had missed something big in all of this. Suddenly he had an idea what Stillstorm was getting at and he didn't like it at all.
"They are carried by ship, jumping to the next system."
"That is correct, Captain. What ship will make this jump next?"
"Enedd is contested, the Shells control all the jump points, except to Sala-128."
"Correct, go on."
Even though Alex had always been a smart kid, it had ever so often happened that he had missed something important. Most of his teachers had enjoyed these rare chances to needle him with slow, leading questions. Stillstorm reminded him of his more succesful teachers in that regard.
"The next Loroi ship jumping will likely be SG51 as a whole."
"After?"
"After SG51 has achieved its strategic goal in this system."
"Which is?"
Alex saw it now. He really didn't like what Stillstorm was getting at. With a low groan he said: "Reestablishing contact with Tinza fleet and Tazites Duskcrown."
Very pleased with herself, Stillstorm kept pressuring Alex. She was having fun, he realized. Beside him, Beryls mouth fell open in silent understanding of the situation.
Stillstorm continued: "As soon as Duskcrown and her Mizols receive the files on you -an automatic process Captain- all of them will be very interested in anything you do. Before your aggitative message can leave this system to give you a tiny bit of diplomatic protection, Duskcrown will know about it. This message of yours can only make certain that Duskcrown sees you as a threat to the stability of the Union. The next time Tempo stops you from doing something incredibly stupid, thank her for it instead of throwing a tantrum."
Stillstorm had worked up quite a temperament during her speech. She carried that energy forward as she leaned into her next tirade. One finger pointing upwards.
"The next time Tempo forewarns you with classified personal files about a commanding officer, you thank her and do exactly what she tells you to do. Because the only reason you are here is because Tempo, you and I have broken the law!"
Confusion within him and crashing into him from the other two Loroi. Alex didn't remember breaking any laws and he certainly hadn't done so with Tempo or Stillstorm.
"What do you mean, broken the law?"
Stillstorm just stared at him, still pointing upwards. Her face turned blank.
"He doesn't know." she said to Tempo.
"You don't know?" asked him Tempo. That was the first time she had reacted to him with more than glances. Now he saw her eyes wide open, redder than usual, her hair a mess.
"Know what?"
"Enz...Captain Jardin, do you remember how I approached you with the chance of serving with SG51? Do you remember the orders from Seren to send you there I have told you about?"
Alex remembered and realisation hit him like lightning. At the time he had been too busy with his new position, but he should have understood. What army would allow their soldiers to not only refuse direct orders but to do the exact opposite.
"Fuck." was all he managed. Moments later the broad sentiment reached him from Beryl, then still later from Fireblade too. Physically and mentally the two were staggering. Beryl had to reach for a chair to let herself fall into.
Tempo continued aghast: "In the official papers, the idea came from you. If it gets out that we influenced you to discard our orders, Stillstorm and I will be expulsed from the warrior cast. You will be found guilty of having conspired with senior officers in an attempt at sabotage."
From her chair a horrified Beryl asked: "You did what? Counteracted direct orders from Seren? From the Emperor?"
"Not from quite that high, but close." was Stillstorms brisk answer.
"You just made us your confidants?" came Fireblade from his right.
"Yes." said Stillstorm. "You are now complicit. Unless you report this to Duskcrown."
Tempo interjected: "When we decided to keep Captain Jardin here, we thought we'd receive a reprimand, a demotion at worst. But now, with these new findings about his Lotai stakes have risen."
Beryl said: "You make us complicit. Just like that?"
"Just like that. With your connection to Enzin you would have found out eventually anyway. Best to get the choice over with."
Beryl and Fireblade looked at each other. This situation was unique for both of them. Not only had they to decide on the course of their lives, they also had to do it in silence as their Sanzai between each other was still muted.
At last both gave their agreement, bringing the number of criminals in the room up to five. Stillstorm looked perfectly calm. Tempo was getting there but still shaky.Somehow Alex had found a chair to sit in as well. His very first deep space mission, the very first contact between man and Loroi, the fate of all of mankind rested on his decisions and he had committed treason. The absurdity made his head spin. More and more his life felt like poorly written fiction.
After a while, Stillstorm continued: "Now that we all share the same razor, I hope your trust issues will fix themselfes, Enzin. Our next objective is how to keep Enzin from being mind probed."
In the back of his mind, he remembered what Tempo had told him, when they were still on speaking terms. While he was still trying to formulate a polite yet firm refusal, Stillstorm spoke again.
"Don't give me that look. The theory needs to be tested and it can't be with a Loroi you like. And since you already accepted..."
Having overcome his shock, Alex said: "Commander Stillstorm, in the terran Scout Corps it is strictly forbidden to have affairs with superiors. As representative of humanity I have to refuse."
"You are serving on a Loroi warship and fall under Loroi laws now. This theory will be tested. Since you are privy to sensitive information, your choice of options are limited to senior officers." Stillstorm calmly laid out.
Alex broke eye contact and glanced at the others. Tempo didn't look up and he didn't try for long. Fireblade stared ahead stoically, yet couldn't hide her surprise fully. Beryl was turning blue but otherwise very brave. The feelings he got from her via Sanzai were indicating quite a bit of turmoil in her. He tried his best to assuage her.
Having found more resolve, he answered Stillstorm: "Commander, that would go against my duties and my personal conduct of honour. Please do not ask this of me. I will have to refuse."
"Rest assured, Captain, that I have no intention of forcing the matter. This discussion can wait anyway. Our immediate concern has to be to restore Sanzai to this ship before combat renews."
With Stillstorms switch of topics, a wave of relief from Beryl warmed Alex. That gave him confidence enough to push on.
"Commander, I have already given you my opinion. I see no other alternatives. If I knew how to, I would stop."
"See, Captain, I already know the problem." said Stillstorm. "You are the worst diplomat I have ever seen." That drew sharp breaths from Alex, Beryl and Fireblade.
"Excuse me?"
"The issue is one of trust, no? Your Lotai is acting up, because you have lost trust in us." With a sideglance to Tempo, she added: "Tell me, how did that happen?"
That puzzled Alex, Beryl and Fireblade too from what feelings he received from them.
"Commander, you already know that. Parat Tempo refused to send a diplomatic message, effectively cutting me off from the rest of the Union."
Stillstorm was actually shaking her head in disbelief. "How did you plan to send your message to the rest of the Union, Captain?"
"As a diplomat via your network, of course, Commander."
"How do messages travel from system to system, Captain?" Stillstorm asked perfectly calm.
It dawned on him then, that he had missed something big in all of this. Suddenly he had an idea what Stillstorm was getting at and he didn't like it at all.
"They are carried by ship, jumping to the next system."
"That is correct, Captain. What ship will make this jump next?"
"Enedd is contested, the Shells control all the jump points, except to Sala-128."
"Correct, go on."
Even though Alex had always been a smart kid, it had ever so often happened that he had missed something important. Most of his teachers had enjoyed these rare chances to needle him with slow, leading questions. Stillstorm reminded him of his more succesful teachers in that regard.
"The next Loroi ship jumping will likely be SG51 as a whole."
"After?"
"After SG51 has achieved its strategic goal in this system."
"Which is?"
Alex saw it now. He really didn't like what Stillstorm was getting at. With a low groan he said: "Reestablishing contact with Tinza fleet and Tazites Duskcrown."
Very pleased with herself, Stillstorm kept pressuring Alex. She was having fun, he realized. Beside him, Beryls mouth fell open in silent understanding of the situation.
Stillstorm continued: "As soon as Duskcrown and her Mizols receive the files on you -an automatic process Captain- all of them will be very interested in anything you do. Before your aggitative message can leave this system to give you a tiny bit of diplomatic protection, Duskcrown will know about it. This message of yours can only make certain that Duskcrown sees you as a threat to the stability of the Union. The next time Tempo stops you from doing something incredibly stupid, thank her for it instead of throwing a tantrum."
Stillstorm had worked up quite a temperament during her speech. She carried that energy forward as she leaned into her next tirade. One finger pointing upwards.
"The next time Tempo forewarns you with classified personal files about a commanding officer, you thank her and do exactly what she tells you to do. Because the only reason you are here is because Tempo, you and I have broken the law!"
Confusion within him and crashing into him from the other two Loroi. Alex didn't remember breaking any laws and he certainly hadn't done so with Tempo or Stillstorm.
"What do you mean, broken the law?"
Stillstorm just stared at him, still pointing upwards. Her face turned blank.
"He doesn't know." she said to Tempo.
"You don't know?" asked him Tempo. That was the first time she had reacted to him with more than glances. Now he saw her eyes wide open, redder than usual, her hair a mess.
"Know what?"
"Enz...Captain Jardin, do you remember how I approached you with the chance of serving with SG51? Do you remember the orders from Seren to send you there I have told you about?"
Alex remembered and realisation hit him like lightning. At the time he had been too busy with his new position, but he should have understood. What army would allow their soldiers to not only refuse direct orders but to do the exact opposite.
"Fuck." was all he managed. Moments later the broad sentiment reached him from Beryl, then still later from Fireblade too. Physically and mentally the two were staggering. Beryl had to reach for a chair to let herself fall into.
Tempo continued aghast: "In the official papers, the idea came from you. If it gets out that we influenced you to discard our orders, Stillstorm and I will be expulsed from the warrior cast. You will be found guilty of having conspired with senior officers in an attempt at sabotage."
From her chair a horrified Beryl asked: "You did what? Counteracted direct orders from Seren? From the Emperor?"
"Not from quite that high, but close." was Stillstorms brisk answer.
"You just made us your confidants?" came Fireblade from his right.
"Yes." said Stillstorm. "You are now complicit. Unless you report this to Duskcrown."
Tempo interjected: "When we decided to keep Captain Jardin here, we thought we'd receive a reprimand, a demotion at worst. But now, with these new findings about his Lotai stakes have risen."
Beryl said: "You make us complicit. Just like that?"
"Just like that. With your connection to Enzin you would have found out eventually anyway. Best to get the choice over with."
Beryl and Fireblade looked at each other. This situation was unique for both of them. Not only had they to decide on the course of their lives, they also had to do it in silence as their Sanzai between each other was still muted.
At last both gave their agreement, bringing the number of criminals in the room up to five. Stillstorm looked perfectly calm. Tempo was getting there but still shaky.Somehow Alex had found a chair to sit in as well. His very first deep space mission, the very first contact between man and Loroi, the fate of all of mankind rested on his decisions and he had committed treason. The absurdity made his head spin. More and more his life felt like poorly written fiction.
After a while, Stillstorm continued: "Now that we all share the same razor, I hope your trust issues will fix themselfes, Enzin. Our next objective is how to keep Enzin from being mind probed."
On dips:
It feels like the majority of story parts are now being reserved by calling dips. I'm guilty of the temptation too. But maybe it stops others from contributing? What do you think?
- dragoongfa
- Posts: 1921
- Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 9:26 pm
- Location: Athens, Greece
Re: Writing Prompts
What I had in mind also works with this so post it Werra.
Re: Writing Prompts
Alright,thanks. Feel free to roll back or make changes as you feel necessary.
Re: Writing Prompts
I dom't like calling dibs, and I'd prefer your story in the story thread. If we get multiple entries following up, the story usually gets continued by one thread only, and we can put the other alternatives into spoilers.
That way itis easy to read alternatives, otherwise it is cumbersome finding the sweet spot of where toinsert the forked alternative...
That way itis easy to read alternatives, otherwise it is cumbersome finding the sweet spot of where toinsert the forked alternative...
The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! Late backing possible, more info soon.
Re: Writing Prompts
Well, you didn't solve the Sanzai issues, but you did introduce another element.
I was thinking of Alex requiring a guarantee, that Beryl will not come to harm, but mutual destruction might work as well...
I was thinking of Alex requiring a guarantee, that Beryl will not come to harm, but mutual destruction might work as well...
The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! Late backing possible, more info soon.
Re: Writing Prompts
Want a bet that Arioch is delaying the webcomic updates because he's reading our threads?