Color and Stealth

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wolf329
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by wolf329 »

I think when it comes to foreign alien languages being spoken in English there is an unspoken understanding it is not a literal interpretation but merely the communication of the phrases spoken. So for example <Go fuck yourself!> written verbatim is not necessarily the indication that a person should go perform an act of fornication on themselves; instead it's a phrase indicating the person should either go away, or shut up, depending on the context, regardless of the original words in Loroi Trade.

And if we were to go extreme hard sci fi, sanzai is not necessarily even language as we understand it in many instances. In spoken English, if we were to describe something, we would do so verbatim in words, but with sanzai Loroi can simply show the other person what they saw directly, or give a specific emotional sensation to the person they are speaking to.

for example:
  • Talon: <He's how big?!> (direct verbalization)
  • Beryl: [sends] ;) (direct image from memory)
  • Talon: :shock: (response indicating emotion)
So there is leeway with suspension of disbelief for the reader even if Loroi don't really use exact English phrases.
#1 Tempo simp

Fun fact: did you know that "Loroi Union" has the same number of syllables as "California"?

G. Janssen
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by G. Janssen »

Snoofman wrote:
Sat Apr 23, 2022 6:55 pm
Would recommend that you go back and fix a few sentences and grammar to make it flow better.
Ehm.. Which ones? There are so many that I've written. :geek: No need to fully quote them. But I'd appreciate some pointers. But I'll try to reread. Tomorrow. ;)
Last edited by G. Janssen on Sat Apr 23, 2022 8:13 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by G. Janssen »

Chapter 5: Culture Shock.
---
Fray had sent Coldstone and Wildfire a mail. It consisted of a quoted message, followed by the text "Unintelligent plowing poop buttocks!".

Coldstone's reply had only contained an image that showed a yellow circle with a black curved line and two black dots.

"Coldstone really is weird sometimes. She really has too many yuman friends." Wildfire thought.

The message that Fray quoted had been sent earlier by Torrai Soshret Cyclone, the head of the Fearsome Trio. It said that the Navy had decided to post an officer on each of the three ships. The Navy found it necessary to have someone aboard who would "observe the performance of the new class of ships".

"Just like Coldstone predicted." Wildfire thought after reading the message. "Oh, I'm sure that she will observe. Scrutinize even. And make notes, send reports, remind us of our orders and duties, make subtle suggestions, quote the regs, uphold the standards, etcetera. Even blow up the ship if she deems it necessary. In short: a political officer."

Wildfire somewhat pitied the "observer" that would be assigned to New Moon. She and Fray had gradually learned that Coldstone was a lot more than she showed.
Initially they couldn't understand why the Navy had given command of New Moon to the "funny granny". But slowly they had begun to realize that Coldstone was anything but funny in the head. She just liked to make people think that she was.
And Wildfire had her suspicions about her being involved with the operation that got Emera.. Emery out of that prison. But to be able to pull something like that off...
Each of the three observers was a high ranking and more importantly, a very powerful Teidar. That fact alone had told Wildfire all she needed to know about the true purpose of these "observers".
They were there to deal with the "misfits" in case these decided to go rogue. The light on the intercom in her cabin began to blink.

"Wildfire, go ahead."

"Small ship room, Clearstream. Torret, small ship here. Now. One Loroi to you.. walk.. coming!"

"Thank you, Clearstream. Well done."

Clearstream was a civvie. One of the gangers that Wildfire had recruited. She had been so relieved when Wildfire had offered her a way out of that life that she had begun to sob. Like many civilians she didn't know how to speak Trade. But she was learning.
To function on a ship meant that it was necessary to be able to speak Trade. So the Torret Trio had made learning how to speak it a priority. The students attended Trade class two hours a day aboard the shipyard and were taught by Listel crew members who served as teachers.
And to speed up the learning process, they had ordered that the members of the three crews -except the Teidar squad- were only allowed to use spoken Trade, except during combat, drills or emergencies. This way they would not only improve faster, but also gain the necessary self confidence to speak it. The Teidar knew how to speak Trade, so there was no problem there.
Clearstream's call from the shuttle bay meant that Moonless Night's observer had just arrived. She had arrived by skiff, because the ship's umbilicals were currently not connected. Some Gallen from the shipyard were making some alterations to the docking ports and stern flaps.
Wildfire had read the observer's file and had to admit that it was very impressive. But the list of achievements was not the problem that she had with the new addition to the crew. A few minutes later Wildfire received the observer's request to enter her cabin.

"Come in." She spoke.

The warrior who entered was a tall female with a very impressive amount of bright red hair on her head. Part of it was so long that it almost reached her feet. The warrior stood to attention. "Teidar Pallan Fireblade reporting for duty, Soroin Torret."

"At ease, Pallan Fireblade." Wildfire said. "Welcome aboard Moonless Night. "Please, sit down."

"Thank you, Soroin Torret."

Wildfire explained why she was using her voice. The Teidar responded with a nod. "I understand, Soroin Torret.

"So, what is your first impression of New Moon?" Wildfire asked.

She seems cramped, Soroin Torret.

"That she is, compared to our other ships. And please, call me Torret Wildfire or just Torret."

"Yes, Torret Wildfire."

"Can I offer you something to drink?" Wildfire said.

"No thank you, Torret Wildfire."

"On second thought, call me Soroin Torret again."

"Yes, Soroin Torret."

Wildfire was smiling internally. "Oh yes. Here she is." She thought. "The quintessential loroi warrior. This is how the Navy would like us all to be: loyal, obedient, perfect, ruthless.. Machines.
Trained, nay indoctrinated to accept, execute and complete any order. ANY order, at ANY cost. And all for the honor. Because that's what we've been taught loroi honor is from a very young age: to follow orders unquestionably. What was it that teacher at the creche had said again? Ah yes. "Always obey your commanding officer or there will be chaos. And chaos is the destroyer of empires."

"How about a tour? I'll show you the ship." Wildfire asked.

"Yes, Soroin Torret." Fireblade sent.

"And you know what? On third thought, call me Torret Wildfire again."

"Yes, Torret Wildfire."

"I could do this all day long and this machine would continue to obey without so much as flinch even once." She thought. "The poor, dangerous thing. Let's see if we can turn it into a person."

"Let's start the tour at the bow." Wildfire stated.

"Yes, Torret Wildfire." Fireblade answered.

"Oh boy." Wildfire thought.

After having finished showing Fireblade the sensor stations, drone control room, bridge, exotic weapons storage a.k.a. Humanity Land or the Do-Not-Open Room, Multi-D launchers, medbay, workshop, reactor, engine room, torpedo revolver, officers cabins and crew bunks, they went back to the dining room.

"You've now seen pretty much everything there is to see, except for the various storage rooms and tanks. Do you have any questions?" Wildfire asked Fireblade.

"Yes, Torret Wildfire. Where is Moonless Night's crew?"

"Most are on the shipyard receiving training from Gallen and Listel or are off duty." Wildfire said. "They have a lot more room there. The entertainment facilities are better as well. And a few are on Mezan. There are currently 13 people aboard Moonless Night, including yourself."
"When the Gallen have finished their work on the first docking port in an hour or so and the first of the umbilicals is reconnected, I expect that some will come back right after."
"Pallan Fireblade, I welcome you again aboard Moonless Night. But I'm afraid that I must leave you now, because I have one or two things left on today's schedule that need doing."
"I have shown you your cabin and the facilities. Your belongings have been delivered to your cabin. Please make yourself at home. And feel free to grab a snack from the galley. Chef is an excellent cook."

"Thank you, Torret Wildfire."

Wildfire stood up, turned around and went back to her cabin.

"She allowed me to sit down in her cabin? She showed me around the ship instead of delegating this task to a subordinate? And what is "Chef"? That word is not Loroi Trade." Fireblade thought.
"A strange Torret. But I was told that things would be "unconventional" here. The Navy was right to assign us to these ships to keep an eye on these people and make sure that they don't become renegades."

Fireblade looked around and decided to follow Wildfire's invitation to "have a snack".

"This is pretty good!" Fireblade thought after trying some stew that she found in a pan on one of the galley's stoves. "A lot better than what I'm used to."

She noticed a loroi mind approach. "One of the crew." She thought. She ignored it and continued eating.

"Mfike? Nemf reciby." She heard behind her and turned around.

In the opening to the galley's storage room stood a bloated greenish creature that had a mass of pulsating boils and scars for a face. One of its eyes was hanging out. It was dressed in a blood-stained straightjacket and a muzzle covered its mouth. A chain was dangling from the spiked metal collar it wore.
The apparition held a large meat cleaver in one hand and a large, dripping plastic bag in the other. The bag was dripping blood.
Fireblade let go of her bowl and had finished her impressive dive behind the counter before it hit the floor. She issued a verbal warning.

"Stay where you are or be destroyed! This is your only warning!" To her surprise, the reply came in sanzai.

"No need for violence." The abomination sent. "I said, or at least tried to say: do you like it? It's a new recipe."

"What... are you?" Fireblade asked from behind the counter.

"I'm the chief cook. Nice to meet you. Crew calls me "Chef". It's a human word, but my name is Starlight. I'm off duty and was working on my outfit, but there is a bunch of fresh meat hanging in the cooler that just kept begging me. So I came to chop it up."

Slowly, a mass of red hair, followed by a forehead and two green eyes began to rise above the counter. The eyes were staring intently. "Hello. There you are. It's okay. I'm not going to eat you." Starlight said.

"Your mind looks Loroi. But your face..." Fireblade said.

"Mask." Starlight said now that the emergency seemed to be over. "I make.. made. Look."

She removed the muzzle and mask and Starlight's face appeared. "Why in the name of the Azerein are you dressed like this?" Fireblade asked.

"Fun. Hobby. Torret allow when I not work.. working.. on duty." Starlight answered.

"What is your caste and rank?" Fireblade sent.

"I am civvie. Chef is title. Civvies.. some here have titles." Starlight answered. "You liked.. the food?" She asked.

"It was very good." Fireblade answered.

"Have more.. please."

Fireblade stood up while frowning and shaking her head and pondering the situation, and helped herself to another serving. She then went into the adjacent dining room and began to eat. "It's good.. "Chef". May I ask what it is made of?" Fireblade asked using sanzai.

"Neridi." Chef spoke.

"What?"

"It meat.. from Neridi.. From Neridi farm. On ball.. no.. planet. They plunge.. breed small Neridi.. they are animals."

Fireblade put down her fork and began to stare at the bowl, swallowed and slowly stood up. "Where is the head again?" She thought.

"It ehm.. argh! It's meat from a small farm animal from one of the Neridi worlds." Starlight sent after realizing what her words had sounded like.

"Oh, thank the First Emperor!" Fireblade thought.

She noticed another mind approaching. Fireblade decided not to ignore it this time and turned around.

"Well, I see you met the most exotic member of the crew." Wildfire said when she entered the galley.

Fireblade turned and stood to attention. "Yes, Torret Wildfire."

She heard Starlight say "Hello Torret." and Wildfire reply with "Hello Chef." and frowned again.

Wildfire looked at Fireblade. "Please finish your meal. And then come to my cabin. Because we're going to have a very long talk."

"Yes Torr..."

"Stop right there. How about something less formal as a reply? Because you are going to have to fit in here." Wildfire said.

"Ye... Will do, Torret?"

"Better."

"Welcome aboard Moonless Night." Chef spoke from the galley.

---/\/---
SpoilerShow
Not mentioned: front head, aft head, showers, laundromat, water recycling, amplifier room for Bistima (unused), life support, sensor, transceiver and e-war equipment, capacitor banks, waste processing / disposal plant, battery banks, drone / beacon bay, airlocks, heatsinks, torpedo storage, energy converters, galley, dining room, lounge / entertainment room, shuttle bay.

The "D" in "Multi-D" stands for Distress, Decoy, Destruct, Drone. Can launch a wide range of pods, drones and beacons without breaking stealth.

A certain pod that's stored in the exotic weapons storage a.k.a. Humanity Land (Wildfire calls it the Do-Not-Open Room) and its accompanying package are too large to be launched by the multi-D launchers. They need to be moved into the shuttle bay and released manually. It's a hassle, since the skiff needs to be launched to get out of the way. Since opening the bay or launching the skiff breaks stealth, their use is not advised.
The Gallen made the pod and package for laughs, after a Mizol approached them and made a request. Only Moonless Night has a set. Wildfire wanted them off her ship, but Coldstone convinced her to keep them.

Maybe Wildfire set Fireblade up by leaving her in the dining room. I'll leave that up to your imagination.

Some civilians (incl. former warriors) aboard Moonless Night have titles. Here are three of them.
First Officer: Emery. Her title is "Delota", which means "number two".
Chief Cook: Starlight. Her title is "Chef". It literally is the Human word.
Chief Engineer: Scar. Her title is "Sabat", which means "spark". The Loroi word for "chief" would be highly problematic. Scar doesn't mind that sabat also means "candy".
Last edited by G. Janssen on Thu Oct 13, 2022 3:48 pm, edited 5 times in total.

G. Janssen
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by G. Janssen »

raistlin34 wrote:
Fri Apr 22, 2022 9:03 pm
How often does a crime involving a Loroi male happen?
Don't know. The comic mentions that violent crime exists. So I'm pretty sure that female serial killers exist.

I'm also pretty sure that not all of the males are cute and nice.

The comic suggests that males need to plunge regularly. So in the highly unlikely case that three or more of them are deprived of sex for too long, I can see the little buggers cooperate to overpower a female.
Last edited by G. Janssen on Sun Apr 24, 2022 9:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.

G. Janssen
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by G. Janssen »

Snoofman wrote:
Sat Apr 23, 2022 6:55 pm
I was getting Suicide Squad vibes also.
I just read the plot of Suicide Squad.

There will be no giant space
starfish
pigs
turtles (sorry, Terry)
elephants (again, sorry)
hamsters. Not even cute ones.

But I haven't made up my mind yet about giant nazi space sharks on tricycles.

G. Janssen
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by G. Janssen »

wolf329 wrote:
Sat Apr 23, 2022 7:19 pm
I think when it comes to foreign alien languages being spoken in English there is an unspoken understanding it is not a literal interpretation but merely the communication of the phrases spoken. So for example <Go fuck yourself!> written verbatim is not necessarily the indication that a person should go perform an act of fornication on themselves; instead it's a phrase indicating the person should either go away, or shut up, depending on the context, regardless of the original words in Loroi Trade.

And if we were to go extreme hard sci fi, sanzai is not necessarily even language as we understand it in many instances. In spoken English, if we were to describe something, we would do so verbatim in words, but with sanzai Loroi can simply show the other person what they saw directly, or give a specific emotional sensation to the person they are speaking to.

for example:
  • Talon: <He's how big?!> (direct verbalization)
  • Beryl: [sends] ;) (direct image from memory)
  • Talon: :shock: (response indicating emotion)
So there is leeway with suspension of disbelief for the reader even if Loroi don't really use exact English phrases.
This is my opinion as well. I really see no other way to get humor across or even have something that is readible.

But maybe I'm wrong and someone does know a better way. I'm always open to suggestions.

But I am not going to rewrite any chapters. :D

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Snoofman
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by Snoofman »

G. Janssen wrote:
Sat Apr 23, 2022 9:43 pm
This is my opinion as well. I really see no other way to get humor across or even have something that is readible.

But maybe I'm wrong and someone does know a better way. I'm always open to suggestions.

But I am not going to rewrite any chapters. :D
Don't stress over it. Since no one here speaks fluent Trade, save for maybe Arioch, English seems like the only viable way to make humor. :mrgreen:

Fireblade's reaction to Chef's poor choice of words when referring to alien ingredients was humorous.

I'm also curious about Wildfire's beef with the Union and Imperial 'code of honor' after reading her brief exchange with Fireblade. Am I right to guess that you plan to go into deeper origin details elaborating how she came to abhor the warrior society?

G. Janssen
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by G. Janssen »

Snoofman wrote:
Sun Apr 24, 2022 6:52 pm
G. Janssen wrote:
Sat Apr 23, 2022 9:43 pm
This is my opinion as well. I really see no other way to get humor across or even have something that is readible.

But maybe I'm wrong and someone does know a better way. I'm always open to suggestions.

But I am not going to rewrite any chapters. :D
Am I right to guess that you plan to go into deeper origin details elaborating how she came to abhor the warrior society?
Hadn't thought about that, really. But yes, good idea! Let's give her character some background and depth. I'll add it to the list.

Oh, gods, there's already a list and I'm only at chapter 5.

Krulle
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by Krulle »

You need to find a way to differentiate thought some Loroi keeps to herself and Sanzai from each other.
Currently, both use the same marking, and are only discernible by context, or you saying what is what.
E.g. the following passage:
SpoilerShow
G. Janssen wrote:
Sat Apr 23, 2022 7:42 pm
>No thank you, Torret Wildfire.<
[Sanzai]

"On second thought, call me Soroin Torret again."

>Yes, Soroin Torret.<
[Sanzai]

Wildfire was smiling internally. >Oh yes. Here she is.< She thought. >The quintessential Loroi warrior. This is how the Navy would like us all to be: loyal, obedient, perfect, ruthless. Machines.
[Thought]

Trained, nay indoctrinated to accept, execute and complete any order, from a very young age. ANY order. At ANY cost. And all for the honor. Because that's what we've been taught that Loroi honor is: to follow orders unquestionably.<
[Thought]

"How about a tour? I'll show you the ship."

>Yes, Soroin Torret.<
[Sanzai]

"And you know what? On third thought, call me Torret Wildfire again."

>Yes, Torret Wildfire.<
[Sanzai]

>I could do this all day long and she would continue to obey without so much as flinch even once.< She thought. >The poor, dangerous thing.<
[Thought]

"Let's start the tour at the bow."

>Yes, Torret Wildfire.<
[Sanzai]

>Oh boy.<
[Thought]
It just makes reading a tad harder.

Will now continue to read the rest of the chapter, and maybe add further comments to this post.

[edit]
Also: who is talking needs a bit more thinking than straight back and forth, as would be usual when using paragraphs with empty lines:
SpoilerShow
G. Janssen wrote:
Sat Apr 23, 2022 7:42 pm
>What is your caste and rank?<
[Fireblade]

"I am civvie. Chef is title. Civvies.. some here have titles."
[Chef Starlight]

"You liked.. the food?"
[Chef Starlight]

>It was very good.<
[Sanzai]

"Have more.. please."
[Chef Starlight]
I know I come over as extremely pedantic, and like being a "mierenneuker" (which comes with my job anyway; for the non-dutch: bean-counter, I just like the Dutch word for its graphic part of having to be very precise but achieving nothing)).
But those are elements which make a very good story easy to read, and thus bump the story up to excellent...
In this example here, I would propose to use a short sentence to link the two spoken sentences by Chef Starlight, e.g.
"I am civvie. Chef is title. Civvies.. some here have titles." Starlight explained. She then asked
"You liked.. the food?"

[edit2]
Thank you. Liked the intermezzo, and "first contact" between Fireblade and Starlight.
A tiny bit out of character in my opinion how Fireblade reacts to the appearance of Starlight, especially as she should've felt a Loroi coming.
Fireblade is not afraid of much, and her Teidar activities would likely react faster than anyone can lift an arm.
She pushed Alex away immediately when the Lift lurched.
And not seeing the other also hinders a correct application of telekinetic forces.

Same with how Fireblade appears behind her in the galley, or is that a hint that Wildfire is able to mask her presence completely to the non-attentive (i.e., not actively "listening" for others being around) Lorois?


But anyway, I'm not here for a perfect story, I'm here for fanstories, and am enjoying myself very much here.
Thank You, G.!
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

Tamri
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by Tamri »

Yes, familiar problem. I myself, while writing the text, faced with the fact that when your characters speak at least two languages, one of which is incomprehensible to some of the interlocutors, they speak to each other non-verbally, they think and communicate non-speech with a technique that can nevertheless be interpreted as speech - all this must be somehow marked so that the reader can understand who, what and how they say, and what part of this the interlocutors hear and understand...

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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by wolf329 »

For internal thoughts/dialog I just change the text color itself, like so: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2242&p=43766#p43766

While communication between two Loroi as the somewhat agreed upon here on the fanfic forums using "<" and ">" (although I regularly code and can't bring myself to reverse the placement like others do, it just looks wrong).
#1 Tempo simp

Fun fact: did you know that "Loroi Union" has the same number of syllables as "California"?

G. Janssen
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by G. Janssen »

Krulle wrote:
Tue Apr 26, 2022 2:09 pm
You need to find a way to differentiate thought some Loroi keeps to herself and Sanzai from each other.
I agree. It bothered me as well when I started writing. Thought about using quotation marks, but then thoughts and words would be identical. Hmm. Dragoongfa uses italic for sanzai. Would it be alright if I copy his style?
Also: who is talking needs a bit more thinking than straight back and forth, as would be usual when using paragraphs with empty lines:
And here I was, actively trying to avoid that because I thought that adding A said, B replied, A spoke, B answered would be annoying.
But those are elements which make a very good story easy to read, and thus bump the story up to excellent...
In this example here, I would propose to use a short sentence to link the two spoken sentences by Chef Starlight, e.g.
"I am civvie. Chef is title. Civvies.. some here have titles." Starlight explained. She then asked
"You liked.. the food?"
Looks good. Noted.
Thank you. Liked the intermezzo, and "first contact" between Fireblade and Starlight.
A tiny bit out of character in my opinion how Fireblade reacts to the appearance of Starlight, especially as she should've felt a Loroi coming.
Fireblade is not afraid of much, and her Teidar activities would likely react faster than anyone can lift an arm.
She pushed Alex away immediately when the Lift lurched.
And not seeing the other also hinders a correct application of telekinetic forces.

Same with how Fireblade appears behind her in the galley, or is that a hint that Wildfire is able to mask her presence completely to the non-attentive (i.e., not actively "listening" for others being around) Lorois?
You got me there. Oh no wait. She was so overwhelmed by the deliciousness of the stew that she forgot all about her surroundings.

You're not falling for it, are you? Darn.

G. Janssen
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by G. Janssen »

wolf329 wrote:
Tue Apr 26, 2022 3:33 pm
For internal thoughts/dialog I just change the text color itself, like so: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2242&p=43766#p43766

While communication between two Loroi as the somewhat agreed upon here on the fanfic forums using "<" and ">" (although I regularly code and can't bring myself to reverse the placement like others do, it just looks wrong).
I'll take a look at Dragoongfa's stories and the use of italic.

G. Janssen
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by G. Janssen »

Tamri wrote:
Tue Apr 26, 2022 2:47 pm
Yes, familiar problem. I myself, while writing the text, faced with the fact that when your characters speak at least two languages, one of which is incomprehensible to some of the interlocutors, they speak to each other non-verbally, they think and communicate non-speech with a technique that can nevertheless be interpreted as speech - all this must be somehow marked so that the reader can understand who, what and how they say, and what part of this the interlocutors hear and understand...
Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it. Guess I have studying to do.

Krulle
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Re: Color and Stealth

Post by Krulle »

G. Janssen wrote:
Tue Apr 26, 2022 9:23 pm
Krulle wrote:
Tue Apr 26, 2022 2:09 pm
You need to find a way to differentiate thought some Loroi keeps to herself and Sanzai from each other.
I agree. It bothered me as well when I started writing. Thought about using quotation marks, but then thoughts and words would be identical. Hmm. Dragoongfa uses italic for sanzai. Would it be alright if I copy his style?
I think, here we can copy styles as we see fit, but it means extra work when copy-pasting to create the appropriate [ i] and [ /i] tags.

I also do not believe Dragoongfa would mind.
In the end, this is fanfic, and not professionally lectured published book by a publisher.
You do what makes you feel comfortable, without putting effort in which makes it feel as a chore.
If it really bothers me that much, I would re-format it.
G. Janssen wrote:
Tue Apr 26, 2022 9:23 pm
Also: who is talking needs a bit more thinking than straight back and forth, as would be usual when using paragraphs with empty lines:
And here I was, actively trying to avoid that because I thought that adding A said, B replied, A spoke, B answered would be annoying.
But those are elements which make a very good story easy to read, and thus bump the story up to excellent...
In this example here, I would propose to use a short sentence to link the two spoken sentences by Chef Starlight, e.g.
"I am civvie. Chef is title. Civvies.. some here have titles." Starlight explained. She then asked
"You liked.. the food?"
Looks good. Noted.
It's just a proposal, as in the first moment I thought "why is Fireblade speaking and what does she mean"?
G. Janssen wrote:
Tue Apr 26, 2022 9:23 pm
Thank you. Liked the intermezzo, and "first contact" between Fireblade and Starlight.
A tiny bit out of character in my opinion how Fireblade reacts to the appearance of Starlight, especially as she should've felt a Loroi coming.
Fireblade is not afraid of much, and her Teidar activities would likely react faster than anyone can lift an arm.
She pushed Alex away immediately when the Lift lurched.
And not seeing the other also hinders a correct application of telekinetic forces.

Same with how Fireblade Wildfire appears behind her in the galley, or is that a hint that Wildfire is able to mask her presence completely to the non-attentive (i.e., not actively "listening" for others being around) Lorois?
You got me there. Oh no wait. She was so overwhelmed by the deliciousness of the stew that she forgot all about her surroundings.

You're not falling for it, are you? Darn.
It's a perfect explanation. I fully accept that.
It's also been a few peaceful years, in which a total PTSS-weapon may loose her edge of always scanning for any mental signature popping up anywhere nearby, as in her young years this was a basic thing to do for survival.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

G. Janssen
Posts: 252
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2022 9:46 pm

Re: Color and Stealth

Post by G. Janssen »

Chapter 6. Shakedown Cruise.
---
Sabat Scar stood at her station in Moonless Night's reactor room while holding a datapad. "Any time now." She thought.

NENG NENG NENG NENG
"Crew pay attention."
"Combat stations! Combat stations! Combat stations! All crew to their combat stations!" A recorded voice broadcast from the broadcast system's loudspeakers.

"And here we go." She thought.

Together with Lunar Eclipse and New Moon, Moonless Night had undocked from Mezan's orbital shipyard a few hours ago to start her shakedown cruise and her Torret had just given the order for the first general quarters drill.

Scar knew what was happening outside the reactor room now. New crew, civvies, former warriors, new ship. She smiled. She remembered her first general quarters drill aboard Desert Wind, a destroyer. She had gotten lost, bumped into several crew members, fallen, and hit her head.

"Happy times." She thought.

It took some time before the last member of the reactor crew came running in and took her place at her station. Everytime a member entered, Scar pressed a button on her pad.

Several bimas passed.

TeeEEeet! "Crew pay attention." The recorded voice sounded. It was followed by Wildfire's voice.

"Crew, this is your Torret. It only took you almost nine bimas to get to your combat stations. By this time, even a raider armed with nothing more than a slingshot would have nova'd us. Before I am through with you, it will take you no longer than thirty-two solons. And I will give you hell until you do. That is all. Carry on."

---

"Well. It could be worse." Delota Emery sent to Wildfire, after she had arrived on the bridge with the results of the drill. "Almost nine bimas for the first time isn't too bad for a crew like ours."

"It wouldn't be if it was one of the civilians or even former warriors that had arrived at her station last. But it wasn't." Wildfire sent back while handing Emery back her pad.

Emery read the names again. "I'll inform them that if they are last again next time, I'll order them to cut off an inch of their hair and stand in the dining room for a few hours while holding the clippings."

"Please do." Wildfire sent. "Oh and remind the crew that the direction of travel is up and forward on their port side and down and aft on their starboard side. We have two people in medbay with a concussion after they banged heads. The corridors are quite a bit narrower than we're used to, so it's important that we learn how to deal with that."

Emery nodded and left the bridge. Delivering the bad and unpopular news was part of the executive officer's job.

"Well then... Let's start with the first item on the list. The maneuvering thrusters." Wildfire thought. She pressed the button of the broadcast system on her station.

TeeEEeet! "Crew pay attention."

"Crew, this is your Torret. We will start testing the maneuvering thrusters in thirty-two bimas. Stow and secure everything. And strap yourselves in. Just in case. That is all."
"COM, send FRB to Lunar Eclipse and New Moon to inform them that we're going to test the thrusters in thirty-two bimas."
The Soroin at the communications station confirmed reception of the order and sent the ultrashort, encoded message.

Having near perfect stealth meant that Moonless Night and her sister ships were invisible to an enemy. This was a good thing. But it also meant that they were invisible to each other. This could be a bad thing. A very bad thing when operating in close proximity to one another.

To prevent collisions, coordinate attacks, report one's position, inform about changes in course and speed and for other reasons, the ships could send extremely short and highly encoded messages that could easily be mistaken for fast radio bursts, a natural phenomenon.

To reduce the risk of detection even further, these so called FRB transmissions were -whenever possible- sent in a cone to a recipients expected or suspected position. Omnidirectional transmissions were only used when the location of a recipient was unknown. Transmitting at regular intervals was also avoided as much as possible.

---

The thirty-two bimas had passed. Wildfire sent another announcement to the crew and gave the order to New Moon's pilot to begin the test procedure.

"NAV, cut engine and begin testing the thrusters according to the instructions that the shipyard provided. After that, if everything has gone well, feel free to go all out." Wildfire sent to the Tenoin who was steering the ship.

Forty-three bimas later, Moonless Night had completed her graceful, invisible dance without a single hiccup.

"What was it that Coldstone said she was going to play through New Moon's broadcast system during this test?" Wildfire thought. "Some human music called something something Danube." She shook her head.

The reactor and engine tests that followed were also completed without any problems. Only some calibration and adjustment issues surfaced, but that was to be expected.

Wildfire received a sending from Delota Emery from one of the compartments behind the bridge. "Torret, some of the crew have begun to relax..."

"Oh, have they now?" Wildfire sent back.

NENG NENG NENG NENG
"Crew pay attention."
"Combat stations! Combat stations! Combat stations! All crew to their combat stations!"

Several bimas later Wildfire handed Emery back her pad again. "Better. Only four bimas this time and nobody in medbay. But unfortunately one haircut."

Emery took out a pair of scissors and left the bridge.

"Emery, those scissors look an awful lot like the ones in your memories." Wildfire sent. "You know, the ones you used to..." Wildfire made snipping gestures with her fingers.

"They're different ones, unfortunately." Emery sent back. "But they are the same brand and type as the ones I used to..." Emery also made snipping gestures with her fingers.

Twenty bimas later, the next shift came on duty and Wildfire retired to her cabin after handing the conn to the pilot at NAV.

She came back a couple of hours later when Moonless Night approached Deinar's jump zone to Perrein, the system where the stealth and weapons tests would be conducted. Wildfire informed the crew that they were about to test the jumpdrive and make the first jump of the voyage.

There was a slight "bump" sound during the transition that was unfamiliar to Wildfire.

"Torret, alarm triggered on sub deck 1, Frame 15, port side. The water recycling facility. Flooding." Sent the Gallen from the ENV station.

The call from the water recycling plant itself came almost immediately after. "Bridge, Water Recycling. We have a spill. Looking into the matter right now."

"And there's issue number one on the list." Wildfire thought.

"Bridge, EYE. Multiple contacts, bearing 15, positive 25. Range 0.5 light solons. Their transponder signals identify them as our targets." The bow sensor operator in the adjacent sensor room reported.

The Listel at SIT confirmed what her fellow Listel at EYE had sent. Meanwhile two more distant groups of contacts appeared and identified themselves on the bridge's tactical display and on the tactical screen of the SIT station.

"Bridge, Water Recycling. One of the main water tanks broke loose from its mountings during the jump and got disconnected from the pipes. We spilled around 300 litres before we managed to close the shut-off valves. No further damage than a dented tank and no danger of short circuits, but we need time to clean up the spill and secure the tank."

"A tank came undone?" Wildfire thought. "A connection is one thing. But an entire tank? ENV, Inform engineering that I want every tank aboard this ship checked. And I want a report of the incident and of engineering's other findings. We don't want the black water tank to go next."

"Jump flash! Dead ahead, range... fourty-five light solons, near the second target group" The Listel at the SIT station sent.

Wildfire switched to her own SIT interface. CON1 had one, so it could serve as a backup for the SIT station in case of a malfunction. A number of stations on the bridge possessed such backup functionalities.

"Torret, incoming FRB from New Moon. Succesful jump-in. No additional info." COM reported fourty solons after reporting the jump flash.

Another Jump flash call from SIT followed less than 5 solons later. "Bearing 5, positive 3 and at a distance of 92 light solons, near the third target group."

This time it took more than five bimas before COM received the transmission from Lunar Eclipse. "Torret, FRB from Lunar Eclipse. Succesful jump-in. Additional information reports a "smelly problem" with one the tanks in Water Recycling."

"Eew." Wildfire thought and sent an order to ENV. "ENV, tell engineering to double check the black and grey water tanks. And COM, send standard FRB to New Moon and Lunar Eclipse and add info about the incident with our water tank."
"Looks like a structural problem." She thought.

---

After more than 80 bimas had passed, Delota Emery appeared on the bridge with the results of the tank inspections.

She handed Wildfire the pad. "Engineering says that the mountings of the black and grey water tanks in Water Recycling and the two main water tanks have a production flaw. It's likely that the other ships have the same problem." She sent.

"Lunar Eclipse definitely does." Wildfire sent back with the content of Lunar Eclipse's message.

"Eew." Emery sent. "Fortunately, these particular mountings aren't used anywhere else. Only on the tanks in water recycling and the two main water tanks. Engineering can place blocks and jacks to hold the tanks in place, but we should empty them before doing anything wild and jumping back to Mezan. We've done the tests for the engine in continuous mode. Using pulse mode is not advisable when these tanks are heavier than needed."

"Agreed. We should only keep what we really need for this trip." Wildfire sent back and issued a few commands.

"NAV, cut engine and then slowly rotate Z minus 90. After that engage lateral bottom thrusters continuously. We will maintain present course and a heading of minus 90 degrees while continue to accelerate."

"ENV, tell Water Recycling to begin ejecting the contents of the black and grey water tanks in one bima, followed by the contents of the port water tank. Tell them to keep what we really need for the remainder of the cruise in the starboard tank and eject the rest. Report when this is complete."

"COM, send the others an FRB with our findings and measures."

And so Moonless Night began to point her bow "down" without changing her flight direction, activated her belly thrusters continuously to accelerate and did a lengthy no. 1 and no. 2 in space through an opening in her underside.

---

The Navy had set up 3 formations of 5 ships each. One for each of the stealth ships. The ships were moving in a zigzagging pattern on autopilot. The outer four of each formation were equipped with the most recent sensors. These escort ships were circling a fifth -the target- that was located in the center of the tetrahedron formations.

The stealth test consisted of three parts. The first instructed to approach the formation undetected to within a certain range. The second part instructed to hit the center ship with a dummy torpedo that would -ideally- remain undetected or at least fail to be destroyed by one of the ships' operational LACs. And the third part instructed to withdraw, either undetected or without the escort ships having calculated a firing solution.

"SIT, what is the status of the stealth systems?" Wildfire asked.

"Stealth systems are nominal, Torret." The Listel answered.

"POW, what is the railgun's status?"

"Capacitors are ready to charge, Torret." Answered the Gallen who sat at the ship's power monitoring station.

"Torpedo Room, Bridge." Wildfire spoke through the intercom. "We are ready to begin testing the revolver."

"Bridge, Torpedo Room. We are standing by. Revolver is ready. Go ahead."

"WEP, begin loading and unloading the torpedos according to the instructions of the shipyard." Wildfire ordered.

"Yes, Torret." The Tenoin manning the weapons station sent.

12 bimas passed. It went flawless.

"Well then..." Wildfire thought. "But first..."

NENG NENG NENG NENG
"Crew pay attention."
"Combat stations! Combat stations! Combat stations! All crew to their combat stations!"

"92 solon! And no haircuts." Emery sent from another part of the ship.

TeeEEeet! "Crew pay attention."
"Rig for stealth." Wildfire said.

Rigging for stealth meant cutting down on E.M. transmissions. All unnecessary equipment was shut down to prevent accidental leakage of radiation. True, Moonless Night's hull was heavily shielded, but it couldn't hurt.

"SIT, what is your advice on how to best approach and fire without being detected?" Wildfire sent after having observed the target formation for some time on her own SIT interface.

"Torret, the symmetrical nature of the escort formation makes that it has no specific weak spot. And all escort ships carry the latest sensors." The Listel sent. "Approaching the formation shouldn't be a problem, but firing the railgun will give us away momentarily. Even when fired from the maximum range that we are allowed to launch a torpedo from. And launching a torpedo without the railgun will cause the torpedo to become visible because of its exhaust plume."
"I recommend we deploy an inactive decoy buoy, move away from it, activate the buoy to draw the escorts' attention, fire when the buoy has drawn their attention and immediately turn and move away."

"The standard tactic, eh? And what if I told you that the formation has a weakness that we can exploit in a... creative way?" Wildfire asked.

"I don't see it, Torret." The Listel answered.

Wildfire smiled. Cheating was best if she could do it without breaking her orders.

"WEP, deactivate the torpedo's thrusters. Program it to disengage its drive after it has fired for... 0.25 solon. Close the outer torpedo port immediately after it has cleared the tube. Be prepared to fire the exact moment that NAV tells you to. Do not use the railgun. Acknowledge."

"NAV, Torret?" The Tenoin asked.

"Yes, NAV. Repeat the order." Wildfire sent.

WEP did. The Tenoin programmed the torpedo and reported that it was ready.

"NAV, I know that you can maneuver Moonless Night to a position that lies dead astern of and close enough to the position that the target will have after the target formation has completed its next turn. SIT will provide you with the data." Wildfire sent. "And I know that you can start your attack run from that position straight at the target the moment after it has finished its next turn. But do you think that you can do the following?" Wildfire explained the tactic that she had in mind.

The Tenoin at NAV blinked and answered "Torret, I need a few moments to go over that."

"Take your time." Wildfire sent. "That formation isn't going anywhere."

The Listel was staring at Wildfire while frowning. "Torret? That would never work with a live torpedo. We would be destroyed. We could just launch that beacon and..."

"Yes, we could. But where is the challenge in that? Besides, it's conform our orders and it's an excellent test for the bridge crew." Wildfire sent back. "NAV, you have the conn and I'm authorizing you to fire a torpedo. Whenever you're ready."

NAV and SIT began to send to one another while SIT made calculations at her station.

After about 14 bimas of checking and rechecking, NAV slowly began to approach the formation and steered to a point in space that lay well in front of it. NAV then changed Moonless Night's heading.

If NAV and SIT had done their work correctly, Moonless Night's current position now lay dead astern of the position that the target would have after completing its next turn, her heading aligned with the target's new course and her distance such that she could complete Wildfire's manoeuvre.

The formation approached and turned.

"One half degree offset from predicted course. Beginning attack run." NAV sent.

When Moonless Night was still far enough outside the formation to execute the manoeuvre, NAV cut her engine after reaching her intended speed and sent "Fire!" to WEP who immediately launched the torpedo.

The torpedo stopped its burn after 0.25 solon and exited the tube with a speed that wasn't much greater than that of Moonless Night. It closed in on the target using inertia only.

WEP closed the port immediately to prevent the unnecessary leakage of any exhaust gases that might be detected. Simultaneously, NAV used a single stern truster to change Moonless Night's heading.

This was the slow part. It only makes sense that using only a single thruster makes a ship rotate more slowly. But Moonless Night's proximity to the target formation was now such that any residual heat would likely give her away, even when the thruster that was fired was one of the stern thrusters that were designed to remain unseen when viewed from the front. The thruster was therefore only fired at 50 percent of its full power.

Despite that, there should be enough time for the ship's heading to change far enough to start using the lateral thrusters on the side that would be pointing away from the escorts.

There was. NAV fired the lateral thrusters that were now invisible to the escorts and Moonless Night began to veer away sideways. The thrusters were cut and Moonless Night entered the formation.

A moment after she passed the target on inertia inside the formation, she did so at an angle of 72 degrees and with 50 meters or 165 feet clearance. A moment later the torpedo hit the target, though off center.

"Hmm. A bit too far off center, but.. a hit is a hit." Wildfire thought.

Moonless Night exited the formation out its side while remaining completely undetected and with 14 solons to spare before the five ships began making their next turn.

"NAV, SIT, WEP, excellent work. This is the teamwork that I want to see!" Wildfire sent.

"SIT, can you tell me now what the formation's vulnerability was?"

"Perfect predictability, Torret. The changes in course followed a repeating pattern and were executed with extreme accuracy. It was their autopilots."

"Remember that." Wildfire sent.

---

NENG NENG NENG NENG
"Crew pay attention."
"Combat stations! Combat stations! Combat stations! All crew to their combat stations!"

"51 solon. Getting there." Emery sent from somewhere.

TeeEEeet! "Crew pay attention."
"Crew, it took you less than a bima this time to crew your stations. Well done. If it's under 32 solons next time, the crew will receive two days of shore leave and all drinks during the first day will be on me."

After completing the tests that the shipyard's Gallen had prepared for the laser turret and succesfully hitting all the target drones that were launched from the Multi-D launchers, Wildfire had added another problem to the list. The turret had a hiccup everytime it was deployed and retracted.

Sometime after, Moonless Night approached the location where she would jump back to the Deinar system. Wildfire announced the jump over the ship's broadcast system and added that the engine's pulse mode tests would begin 32 bimas after completing the jump.

Twenty minutes after the jump, Emery joined Wildfire on the bridge and strapped herself in at CON2. After every compartment had given a go ahead, Wildfire gave the order to NAV to start the test procedure of the ship's engine in pulse mode.

"0.1 Hz pulse frequency, lowest engine output." NAV reported. "Increasing pulse frequency. 0.2 Hz... 0.3... 0.5... 0.7... 1.0 Hz."

So far so good. Wildfire thought.

"1.5... 2.0... 3.0... 4.0... 5.0..."

A tremor began.

"Here we go..." Wildfire received from Emery.

"6.0..."

Okay... Wildfire thought as the ship began to vibrate.

"7.0..."

The vibration became annoying.

"8.0..."

The vibration became very annoying.

"9.0..."

"Barsam sanctified poopstorm!" Emery shouted.

"NAV, take it down to 5 Hz!" Wildfire sent. "Are the acceleration dampers creating a feedback or something?"

NAV dropped the frequency to a comfortable level.

"Torret, the procedure says to go up to 10 Hz." Nav sent.

"You can do that after dropping us off at the yard." Emery sent back.

"Can I, Delota?" The Tenoin sent. The sanzai actually came with an emotion of hope.

"You fighter pilots really are a unique breed, aren't you?" Emery sent.

"I've experienced worse, Delota. This is fun."

To Emery's and Wildfire's amazement, the pilot's sanzai indicated that she had indeed experienced worse once when she had piloted a severely damaged fighter craft.

The test procedure continued and engine output was steadily increased with every test sequence, until the final one for the engine's maximum output was reached.

"0.1 Hertz..."

With each pulse, the crew was pushed back in their seats, but not much more than normal when accelerating with a conventional engine.

"0.2... 0.3... "

Suddenly they began to notice a difference. Just as Sobatadi Quartz had said, they were beginning to be pushed back harder.

"0.5..."

"That's my stomach." Wildfire sent to Emery.

"0.7..."

"And that's definitely mine and some other things as well." She received from Emery.

"1.0..."

"And those are the kidneys." Both Emery and Wildfire sent.

"1.2... 1.4... 1.5... 1.7..."

"NA NA NAV!"

"Ye es, Tor ret?"

"SHU SHU SHUT!"

"Shu tit do wn, Tor ret?"

"YE YE"

"Are you su re, tor ret?"

"Emery sent an image of a noose and a bloody dagger to NAV."

NAV shut down the engine.

After about 30 solons had passed, Emery unbuckled herself and somewhat unsteadily walked to the Tenoin at NAV. "Well, wasn't that fun? Three days on latrine duty. Under supervision of the Paset who normally do it. And I'm going to hand them my scissors, so you better scrub real hard if you don't want to end up walking around with the most ridiculous haircut they can think of."

And with that, the last test on the list ended.

An hour passed. The crew had recovered from the stunt. And with only seven hours of travel left to the shipyard, it was once again time for another episode of that fine tradition that is part of every warship's shakedown cruise.

NENG NENG NENG NENG
"Crew pay attention."
"Combat stations! Combat stations! Combat stations! All crew to their combat stations!"

"30 solons!" Emery sent after the results appeared on her pad.

TeeEEeet! "Crew pay attention."
"Crew, this is your Torret. It took you only 30 solons to crew your stations. Excellent work. As promised, everyone -even a certain Tenoin- gets two day of shore leave and all drinks on the first day are on me. That is all. Carry on."

"NAV, you have the conn." Wildfire sent. She unbuckled herself and left the bridge together with Emery.

"How can anyone actually endure, nay enjoy that hell?" Asked Wildfire 15 bimas later while sitting in her cabin. She and Emery were busy finalizing the report for the Gallen and planned to retire for a few hours after finishing.

"Don't ask me. You recruited her." Emery responded.

"Yes I did." Sent Wildfire. "I guess now I know why she was named Hellion by her diral."

---

Six hours later Wildfire had returned on the bridge after catching a few hours of sleep.

"Torret, Moonless Night is approaching Mezan's orbital shipyard." NAV sent.

"COM, request docking clearance from the yard. NAV, dock at the yard after receival of clearance." Wildfire sent.

15 bimas later Moonless Night docked at the shipyard next to New Moon and Lunar Eclipse, succesfully completing her shakedown cruise.

---/\/---
SpoilerShow
Had to do some research for this chapter and found a manual with phraseology used aboard WW2 submarines. Only little of it went into the chapter, because it made for very poor reading material.

A call to quarters is often followed by "the direction of travel is up and forward on your starboard side and down and aft on your port side".

It indicates to stay to the right side of corridors and stairs. But I remember having read that Loroi are generally lefthanded, so I reversed it.

There is room aboard the ships for a Bistima. Her station is in the amplifier room. It is next to the sensor room that holds the 3 sensor and e-war operators. It's nice and quiet there. Until a torpedo is fired. Due to the limited space aboard, her amplifier -when assembled- is smaller and weaker than the ones used on most other ships.

Loroi seem to have an affinity for putting all stations and operators on the Bridge of their ships. There's no C.I.C. for instance.

Station names and their functions.
Amplifier Room.
Station name: BIS
Function: Long range telepathic detection & communication.

Sensor Room.
Station name: EYE1*
Function: Bow Sensors / Stern Sensors
Crewed by a Listel.

Station name: EYE2
Function: Stern Sensors / Bow Sensors
Backup: E-WAR / Multi-D Launchers
Crewed by a Listel.

Station name: EWA
Function: E-WAR / Multi-D Launchers
Backup: EYE All sensors
Crewed by a Listel.

Bridge.
Station name: TOR1*
Function: Command. Torret's seat.
Backup: SIT. Situational Awareness and Tactical / Monitoring Stealth / Status of Stealth Systems.

Station name: TOR2
Function: Command. No. 2's seat.
Backup: ENV. Status of Ship's Internals / Status of Life Support and Secondary Systems / Coordination of Damage Control.

Station name: COM*
Function: Communications.
Crewed by a Soroin.

Station name: NAV1*
Function: Steering / Engine / Flaps
Crewed by a Tenoin.

Station name: NAV2
Function: Engine / Flaps / Steering
Crewed by a Tenoin.

Station name: POW (Two additional POW stations are located on the ship. One in the Reactor Room, the other in the Engine Room).
Function: Status of Power Systems and Power Redirection (Reactor / Engine / Batteries / Fuel / Capacitors / Converters).
Crewed by a Gallen.

Station name: ENV*
Function: Status of Ship's Internals / Life Support and Secondary Ship Systems / Coordination of Damage Control.
Crewed by a Gallen.

Station name: MUL (Backup only)
Backup: COM. Communications.
Backup: POW. Status of Power Systems and Power Redirection. (Reactor / Engine / Batteries / Fuel / Capacitors / Converters.)

Station name: SIT*
Function: Situational Awareness and Tactical / Status of Stealth / Status of Stealth Systems.
Crewed by a Listel.

Station name: WEP1
Function: Torpedoes / Laser / Multi-D Launchers
Crewed by a Tenoin.

Station name: WEP2
Function: Laser / Multi-D Launchers / Torpedoes
Crewed by a Tenoin.

* = Always crewed.

The names of the stations are chosen to sound sufficiently unique to prevent confusion.

In case you think my humor is somewhat over the top sometimes:
Look up the entry for the USS William D. Porter in the first link.
https://www.quora.com/What-naval-warshi ... ing-career
https://www.neatorama.com/2014/04/28/Th ... he-U-1206/
The unfortunate member of the crew who had to stand in the galley while holding her hair clippings is based on a sailor who had to stand in the door opening of an executive officer's cabin while holding a doorknob, after his mates had removed and hidden the door.
Last edited by G. Janssen on Thu Oct 13, 2022 3:59 pm, edited 5 times in total.

G. Janssen
Posts: 252
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2022 9:46 pm

Re: Color and Stealth

Post by G. Janssen »

Chapter 6.5. Girl Talk.
---
"Come on, Codstone! Itz yor turn." Fray sent. "We agreed I'd go first, you'd come next and Wif.. Wildfire go last."

"You agreed. I didn't. This old loroi keeps her secrets. All of them." Coldstone replied.

"You're no fun." A very drunk Fray sent.

After the shakedown cruise was over, Wildfire had decided to join her crew on Mezan's orbital shipyard. The complex contained habitats and an entertainment center for its workers. She had reasoned that since she was going to pay for her crew's drinks, she deserved to have a few as well. Coldstone and Fray had joined her. And Fray, after getting drunk, had decided that it was time for the "girls" to bond by sharing their secrets.

Fray's secret was that the time that she was caught for sneaking into a male's pagoda hadn't been a one time incident. She had snuck in numerous times, because she and the male were in a forbidden relationship. "He's mine. Mine. Fug you." She sent, probably not realizing that she did while snorting and guzzling down another drink.

"Costone won play." Fray sent to Wildfire. "So now iz your turn. You... You... such a fuggen bitch grouch some.. sometimes. Why? Lemme hear."

Why not? Thought Wildfire and began to send. "My parents and siblings are members of the Ora, one of Deinar's most ancient, nomadic, reclusive and highly traditionalist warrior tribes. When the war broke out, a call went out to the members of all nomadic warrior tribes to join the armed forces. You remember how disastrous that first year went."
"My parents' tribe refused. Like the other ancient tribed, it had kept to itself for tens of thousands of years. Wars came and went all the time. What was different about this one?"
"The decision cost the tribes much respect among many loroi who are part of modern society and ignorant about the old ways."
"The Ora and the other ancient tribes are considered relics by modern loroi society. But they are, like all nomadic tribes, protected by law. That doesn't stop them however from becoming curiosities when they wander closer to any cities or from being studied from a distance on a regular basis."
"I was only a few weeks old and things were not looking good for me. Ou.. their tradition is that any young infant who gets sick, will only get basic medical care. The infant either gets well or dies. It's logical. When the weak die it strengthens the tribe."
"But even sick, dying infants are still members of the tribe, so I, like any other newborn had already received the Hanad-Kiba, the bond marks. The first indicates the tribe, the other the maternal line within."
"I wasn't getting better. My mother raised her lotai, took me, snuck out of the camp during the night and went to some of the curious visitors that were observing us from a distance. They turned out to be anthropologists. One rushed me to a hospital. It was a minor matter for modern science to heal me, but I could not return."
"I was dead to the tribe. I would later learn that my mother wasn't harshly punished when the elders asked her where I had gone, because it's only natural for a mother to wish for her children to live. But I could not return."
"After I was discharged from the hospital, scientists ran some tests and gave me to a creche that raised children that would likely become Soroin. The creche removed the tattoos, but some discoloration remained. I had no idea who my parents were or why I had two weird patterns on the back of my hands that became visible after spending time in the sun."
"I completed my diral trials and became a typical twelve year old Soroin Pideir who was filled with naive pride about the great Loroi Union, dreamt about the glory of combat and above all, obeyed her superiors, because I was taught that there was no greater honor than serving the Union."
"The creche indoctrination had done its job well."
"I was stationed on Deinar as a member of its internal security forces. One day, my squad, which contained a number of my diral sisters -including Emery- received an order. We were told that a group of troublemakers was hindering the Union's war effords. The group had occupied land that contained vital resources and was blocking attempts to mine them. We were sent to drive them from that land."
"You can guess who they were."
"By then, the Ora and the other tribes that had refused to join the war efford, had lost a lot of respect and were looked down upon by many, myself included. Insults varied from backwards to treasonous. And here they were, in the middle of nowhere, occupying a stretch of useless, barren land that had been shown to contain rich deposits of gold, silver and copper."
"A neridi foreman and some employees who belonged to the company that had been given the mining rights were watching us do our job so they could start doing theirs."
"And so we began to approach the primitives in formation and, after having issued a warning that got subsequently ignored, began beating them with our batons. Some of us found it strange that they weren't fighting back. Most of them just sat there protecting their heads with their hands."
"Were these the legendary warriors of old?" I thought. "What a joke! And why did they maintain their lotai?"
"What are you hiding, you worthless outdated pieces of crap who won't help your own people against the genocidal Shells? Do you know what they did on our colonies? Why are you preventing us from mining these minerals? Take this!"
"Suddenly, while beating a female with my baton, I noticed the tattoos she had on the back of her hands. I noticed all the Ora did. I stopped beating and looked. Those shapes... Sun, a diral-sister, stood next to me and was beating another female and a younger girl. I noticed that both tattoos on their hands were almost identical to the shapes on my hands. The female that I had been beating looked up and momentarily -maybe accidentally- opened her mind for a moment after seeing me stare."
"Sanzai is fast. So fast..."
"My psychic yell and subsequent broadcast caused many of my comrades to stop their attack. I grabbed Sun's hand to make her stop. And the officer who commanded us ordered the rest to stop as well."
"Somewhere in here was my mother! Which meant that one of us had probably been beating her. Beating the woman who had given me life twice. I started to search by checking the tattoos and found her. I showed her the backs of my hands. She looked at me and we connected."
"The frantic sanzai that followed contained flashing images of many thousands of warriors, ranging from ancient to recent, resting in their tombs, most of them dressed in ceremonial armor partially made of gold, silver and copper. The males and children were buried here as well. These were the hidden burial grounds of the ancient tribes! And the Ora tried to hide this in order to protect the graves against the neridi plunderers and their violent henchmen who were beating them."
"After seeing what I saw, the officer turned around, pale in the face, walked towards the neridi foreman, picked him up and began to scan his mind, while the rest of us began to give first aid to the members of the tribe. It turned out that their customs forbade the use of unnecessary violence on these lands. If it had been anywhere else, they would've slaughtered us already."
"We were the first in more than 3,000 years to use violence there."
"The shame that we felt that day... The things that I felt that day... If the planet itself had opened up to swallow me, I would've welcomed it."
"It changed me. It forced me to look deep into myself and into loroi society, something that gradually turned me into the cynical bitch grouch who carries a chip on her shoulder that you see before you."
"Because the deeper you dig, the more you find."
"I saw my mother and sister only one more time. It wasn't long after that fateful day. We sanzai'd for hours. "You are my daughter", she signalled before we parted. "And I love you." "You are my mother." I signalled back. "And I love you. And I thank you for my life."
"We are family. But I am not Ora. I cannot be with them."

Wildfire paused, drank half her beer and wanted to continue.

"Wash yer name? Did sher mom tell you yer name?" Fray managed to send and burped.

"She did. But Ora names can only be shared with others within the tribe or members of related tribes. My mother trusted me with my name. I will not betray her trust by going against her traditions. Not even for you, my friend and man-hogging foe of all loroi females."

"Mine... My snuggie..." She softly received back.

"As for the rest: I'll keep it short. It had begun with a routine arial survey for minerals and a subsequent investigation into who owned the land."
"It had ended with two upper class loroi, a high ranking Torrai and two neridi industrialists deciding that they would divide the plunder."
"They used us. And others as well. Most of their tools.. their fools.. were drafted and hired from the middle and lower ranks and classes and set up to take the fall if things went wrong. My squad was sent in to be butchered. They knew that the Ora would become violent once we had gone past a certain point."
"See, the burial grounds also serve as a neutral place for the tribes to parlay, negociate, etcetera. Is there a better place for this than the place where all your ancestors are watching you? The non violence rule was instated to prevent war from erupting because of insults or petty violence."
"But if we had wounded one of them in a serious way..."
"Our deaths and the deaths of the neridi workers would've been the perfect excuse to cause an outrage and use deadly force against the "savage traitors."
"If it hadn't been for Greywind, the investigation would never have reached the top. Someone must have pushed her to pursue it all the way."
"In the end, Lodestone visited the Ora. In her wake the neridi and loroi who were the masterminds behind the whole thing. In chains. She apologized in the old way, by kneeling and offering her head, promised that Teidar guards would be placed around the grounds to repel looters and offered an amount of gold, silver and copper."
"The tribe accepted her apologies and gift. The guards were rejected. Lodestone left, knowing that nothing more could or needed to be said. But she left without the prisoners. They were never seen again."

"You stayed in the military. Why?" Coldstone asked.

"Because as a civilian I'd be powerless. Having power is good. I have saved lives during the war using the small amount of power that I had, Coldstone. I have no regrets."
"If I had left in anger or disgust, I'd probably be slaving in some guild house now. Or worse... Useless. Defeated. A shade."
"And besides that, there is that silly part of me that sometimes plays up and tells me that there's at least one Ora who fought in the war."

"We all want to go home." Coldstone said. "The longing will never go away. Even if that home no longer exists. Maybe especially because that home no longer exists. But sometimes protecting home can only be done by those who are furthest away from it." She looked at Fray who had fallen asleep. "I will give you this, young one." Coldstone undid her top armor and rolled up the sleeves of her skinsuit. On the inside of each of her lower arms was a different tattoo and burn mark. "The tattoos are given to one who is born into the tribe. The burn marks are given after one has become an adult."
"The Ora carry those on their upper arms near their shoulders. I am one of the last of the Zan. And it was I who convinced Greywind to pursue that investigation. You will ask no more. You will receive no more. Not yet. That is all. Well, almost. Because in exchange for this, you get to carry Fray back to her cabin and risk being barfed on."

---/\/---
SpoilerShow
Hanad-Kiba isn't a word in Trade. The ancient tribes have their own language. They reject the language of the Soia, who they consider not to be their true ancestors.

Communicating with members of the tribes is only possible using primal sanzai, since the tribes don't teach their secret language to outsiders. Wildfire's true name isn't in Trade either.

Most of the Zan died from an epidemic. The surviving few were welcomed to join the Asi, Ban, Mai and Ora, who had, just like the Zan, split from the First Tribe so very, very long ago."
Last edited by G. Janssen on Thu Oct 13, 2022 4:15 pm, edited 12 times in total.

Krulle
Posts: 1414
Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 9:14 am

Re: Color and Stealth

Post by Krulle »

Another wonderful chapter, thank You!
G. Janssen wrote:
Thu Apr 28, 2022 5:39 pm
---
A call to quarters is often followed by "the direction of travel is up and forward on your starboard side and down and aft on your port side".

It indicates to stay to the right side of corridors and stairs. But I remember having read that Loroi are generally lefthanded, so I reversed it.
---
https://www.quora.com/What-naval-warshi ... ing-career
https://www.neatorama.com/2014/04/28/Th ... he-U-1206/
The unfortunate member of the crew who had to stand in the galley while holding her hair clippings is based on a sailor who had to stand in the door opening of an executive officer's cabin while holding a doorknob, after his mates had removed and hidden the door.
You know why continental Europe is driving on the right side, and Britain is driving on the left?
Until Napoleon, Germany was also driving on the left side.

It has ALL to do with left/right handed... Yet all of Europe is right handed population.

But I can tell you, if you do this because of the Loroi being lefthanded, then they should drive and walk on the right side, so the weaponized/stronger hand is on the side where the potential enemy passes. (A sword in the right hand meant you stayed slightly left, so the persons passing by had to do so on the side where your strong hand is.) And the Loroi being very militaristic would even strengthen this position.
Now why is the continent driving on the right side of the road?
I can elaborate, but only if there's a desire.

Also need to read the chapter 6.5...
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

G. Janssen
Posts: 252
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2022 9:46 pm

Re: Color and Stealth

Post by G. Janssen »

Krulle wrote:
Fri Apr 29, 2022 7:21 pm
Another wonderful chapter, thank You!
You're welcome.
Now why is the continent driving on the right side of the road?
I can elaborate, but only if there's a desire.
I think I remember that it was done to piss off the British. Britain was the dominant empire at the time and empires tend to take a lot of flak.

Krulle
Posts: 1414
Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 9:14 am

Re: Color and Stealth

Post by Krulle »

sounds Napoleonish, but no....
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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