A little child no taller than Twoface’s waist ran naked from another bath with a soap bar in her mouth and Icespear chasing after her. “Really?!” Icespear yelled after the little human. “You won’t clean your teeth, but you’ll chew on a bar of soap?!”
Hahahaha! Yessssssss! Your telekinetic death powers are useless here, Icespear. Also, be grateful she didn’t run off partway through changing a dirty nappy.
Thank you for your feedback and support. I'm glad you like it. Originally this story was only supposed to be four or five chapters, and Twoface's original name was meant to be Bluethorn. But when I switched her name to Twoface and added some more details to her physical appearance and character, I just couldn't stop my muse. The story would not have seemed as satisfying.
Haha! Indeed. Icespear's trials on childrearing have just begun.
+1 on the reference to There, and Back Again.
Does the Emperor know the story, or did she just like this question?
And indeed, I like the story very much. Thank you.
Did Ben griw up in Deinar, with the Emperor, or with Humans?
I just want to know, because of the comment about sons being troublemakers....
STAR CONTROL: The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! (sorry for spamming, will amend signature again when Kickstarter has ended, or many complain about my signature)
+1 on the reference to There, and Back Again.
Does the Emperor know the story, or did she just like this question?
And indeed, I like the story very much. Thank you.
Did Ben griw up in Deinar, with the Emperor, or with Humans?
I just want to know, because of the comment about sons being troublemakers....
Thanks. I've always enjoyed stories that can cleverly fit in references without seeming like an unoriginal copy.
Greywind liked the question. I doubt that she knows the story, but I will say that she has imported many literary, cinematic and, as you've seen, game content from humanity territory. She is trying to be playful with words because she notices it is a human quality. Again, trying to understand how humans think and reason.
As for Ben, I am considering writing one or two prequels to this story, one featuring Ben's origins and upbringing. So you'll find out then. Although, while we're speculating, Arioch seemed to comment in the forums that Loroi males are allowed some level of freedom in Loroi society and family life. I don't think it is too farfetched if some Loroi males get into trouble or cause harmless mischief for a good laugh or at least fight off boredom, just like human boys.
Author's note: The final chapter is at last here. After about a month I finally finished it. Special thanks to all you readers that have taken the time to read. And especially to those who have left commentary and constructive criticism. I'm still not sure about sequels, but I would like to write two prequels tied into this story.
And very special thanks to you dragoongfa for your assistance and for letting me use your setting of Looking Forward to the Mirror and Reforged. I hope you approve.
Thank you kindly and enjoy!
-
Dawn - part 13
-
Three days passed.
Emperor Greywind as well as the other Torrais and Mizols departed and returned to service. But not before Twoface was sure to thank Ashrain for vouching for them. Ashrain promised that she would be at their disposal if ever they or the children needed her. Emperor Greywind had little else to convey to Icespear and Twoface and entrusted the terms of their parole to the creche's Housemaster, Crescent. Though she did part with a firm reminder of who was ultimately in charge of the Island even when absent. Livewire gave her assaulters a deathly stare before following after the Emperor.
The new arrivals had become acquainted with practically all the mansion’s residents. Including the many human caregivers under the Emperor's employ, working alongside the Loroi. All these humans, including Sister Judith, had been sworn by the Emperor to raise and educate the children in her absence.
“So let’s see if I understand,” said Icespear as she folded a shirt alongside Sister Judith, Twoface and Beverly. After the Emperor departed, the Loroi were immediately set to work. Now they were folding laundry together in the laundry room. “Each of the children here are rescued from the Great Wastelands and adopted by our Emperor?”
“That’s about the size of it,” said Beverly, taking that question. Beverly Miller was originally from Earth. Her place of origin: a city community called Queens, New York. A middle aged woman with dark skin and thick hair, Beverly's former occupation on Earth was as a social worker. Educated in social science and psychology, she sought employment at one of the Union embassy's after expressing a desire to leave Earth. Her most unusual and outstanding feature was perhaps her unusually large hips. And the fact that she was combatting obesity. Unlike the rest of the Loroi required to wear standard jumpsuits, Beverly's unique anatomy made it hard to fit. Hence why she was allowed to wear Terran clothing. Her sense of fashion was odd. Like the illustration painted on her shirt depicting an elderly drunkard called Rick Sanchez, with a quote written in his honor: "Science is wise so follow its advice."
Icespear raised a curious eyebrow. “The size of what?”
“Sorry. Human expression,” Beverly cleared her throat. “I meant your assessment is correct.”
“Oh, well why not just say so then?” Icespear huffed. She was still getting used to human expressions and idioms.
“Pardon me, Miss Beverly,” Twoface interrupted, folding a child’s tunic. “But why go to the great lengths of taking children from the Great Wastelands? If the Emperor wanted human children, why not officially adopt them from human agencies?”
“A few reasons,” said Beverly. “Firstly, the Elder Council, as I understand it, has forbidden Loroi from adopting human children despite the suggestions from civilian guilds. Only the Emperor has made some legal exceptions to that law. Plus, few Child Welfare Agencies would willingly allow a human to be adopted by Loroi. Secondly, while most human raiders in the Great Wastelands don’t have children for practical reasons, there are a few who want children. Whenever a group of Loroi battlecruisers subdues a pirate ship or an uncharted raider world, the Loroi have on rare occasions recovered children that the pirates either birthed themselves or kidnapped. Either to be raised as slave labor or used for ransom. The abuse and brutality of the pirates often leaves the children traumatised. Even psychologically damaged. Some of the children here had to go through extensive therapy before they recovered.”
“That’s awful,” said Twoface sympathetically. Even Icespear was disturbed by the details. “But why does Greywind insist on adopting them? Don’t some of the children have family and relatives back in Terran space?”
“Many, yes,” said Beverly, as she began stuffing dirty underwear into a laundry machine. “But some of the kids have no family or relatives waiting for them back in Terran space. Many get adopted by other humans or placed in foster care. If they’re lucky.” She closed the door to the machine and set it to wash.
“What do you mean by ‘lucky’?” asked Icespear, folding another shirt.
“Well,” Beverly continued as she started folding children’s pants, “There is sadly an unfair superstition growing among Terrans. A phobia that children exposed to raiders carry a stigma. Especially if they’re born from pirates. Many humans accuse the young victims of having been influenced by the raiders. Or that they are so damaged and corrupted that they can’t be rehabilitated into human society. I’ve read accounts of children placed in what are essentially detention centers where they wait for processing.”
“That’s terrible,” said Twoface, holding a hand to her mouth. “I didn’t think that humans would allow such prejudices.”
Beverly locked eyes with Twoface. “Honey, I grew up in a neighborhood where my folks had to deal with prejudice and discrimination on a daily basis. I’ve been judged simply for my black skin.”
Icespear incredulously blurted out, “That’s ridiculous! Only an ignorant idiot would judge someone by skin coloration.”
“Amen, sister,” Beverely complimented Icespear with appreciative passion.
“Amen… sister,” Icespear answered back awkwardly, not sure what it meant.
“Anyway,” Twoface continued, “what does all this have to do with the children adopted by Greywind?”
Beverly continued, “Well, thanks to the ‘Intelligence and Information Exchange Pact’, the Union has access to data concerning Terran profiles that the TCA does not consider a threat to national security. Since Union ships are not permitted to enter Terran space without proper clearance, children recovered from the Wastelands are brought to either nearest Union worlds or relay stations. Since not all relay stations are equipped with Terran embassies, the children are entrusted to the Mizol Departments. Whenever a Mizol Office alerts their network that they have a human child in need of assistance, Greywind’s operatives and ship officers are tipped off and sent to investigate. If it’s confirmed that the child has family waiting for them, they’re granted transport on freighters or warships that happen to be going to Terran space. If it seems the child has no relatives searching for him or her, the Emperor can legally adopt that child.”
This new knowledge surprised Twoface. “I had heard rumors,” she admitted.
Judith said, “The Emperor and her cabinet try to keep the existence of this system quiet. It’s necessary for the children’s safety.”
That was a surprise to Twoface and Icespear. “And the TCA doesn’t send over agents to try and reclaim the children?”
“Why would they?” said Beverly. “As you know, space travel is expensive. And as I explained, many from the TCA don’t want to get involved with children whom they fear have a pirate stigma.”
“And yet Greywind has employed human caregivers?” Twoface stated more than asked. “And entrusted you with this information?”
“We all know what is at stake here,” said Beverly. “We’re doing a service for the Emperor and for the TCA by taking care of human children that nobody else wants.”
“In fact,” said Judith, “Emperor Greywind hired us to act as overseers to ensure the children are not abused. And I can assure you that Greywind loves these children and has gone to great lengths to ensure they are cared for.”
“But what is Greywind raising the children for?” asked Twoface. She was certain that Greywind wanted something out of all of this. “What will happen to them once they have matured?”
“Well, if they pass their examinations, and if they choose, they will be employed into the Emperor’s family,” Judith replied. "Some are already training to be warriors."
Twoface and Icespear dropped the clothes they were folding.
“Warriors?! Really?” Twoface asked.
Judith explained, “While the human children here will have an upbringing resemblant to the warrior lifestyle, not all humans are suited to be warriors. But the Emperor wishes to include them as Union members. I agreed to undertake this task under the condition that the children would never be trained for unethical activity. We have also taken it upon ourselves to teach these children philosophical and moral knowledge to ensure that, whatever comes to pass, they strive to be good people. Strong, but good!”
While Twoface liked the idea of humans on the side of the Union, it did raise many ethical issues. They could argue the fine points of these issues for hours, but Twoface figured they would have to be resolved as time progressed.
Listel Weaver entered the laundry room. “Pardon me, Sister Judith,” said Weaver. “I am finished with today’s lectures.”
“Excellent,” said Judith as she folded the last of the laundry. She groaned and held her aching back. “Oh, this Philippine is getting old. Well, time to get dinner ready. Our cook Andre is short of staff today, so we need to help him out. Weaver, Icespear, Twoface, come with me. Beverly, can you finish up here?”
“I’ll get these clothes stored away,” said Beverly as she started loading the clean laundry onto a cart.
A cry from the corner of the laundry room disrupted them. “Neh! Neh! Neh!”
“Speaking of dinner,” said Twoface as she picked up the baby. The child had been sleeping soundly while they worked until now.
“Twoface, why don’t you take her for a stroll through the Garden while you feed her?” Judith instructed.
“Are you sure?” Twoface received a nod from Judith. “Thanks, Sister.” She had not forgotten the old nun’s kind gesture during Twoface’s first night at the mansion. How Twoface was rudely awakened by the cries of the baby in her room and was only happy, though still quite sleepy, to care for her.
Judith smiled back. “And while you’re at it, please choose a name already,” said Judith as she motioned for Icespear and Weaver to follow to the kitchen. “Come, ladies. We have many mouths to feed.”
To which Icespear responded sarcastically, “Well, this should be fun… not!”
“Come on,” Weaver spoke to Icespear for the humans’ sake. “It’ll be great. I’ve actually learnt a few humanity dishes here. A few human meals are in fact suitable for Loroi consumption.”
"Just as long as it does not have alien milk," said Icespear as they followed after the old nun. "Because if I find more of that white goop in my food, I will demolish that kitchen!"
-
The baby gave a gentle burp as Twoface fed her the last drop of milk. Tucking the empty bottle away into a leg pouch, she gently rocked the child as she gazed into her green eyes. She walked at a slow pace through the garden.
“Oh, hello, Miss Twoface,” a male voice said. It was Sasha, doing some garden work and giving water to some exotic flowers that had recently been planted.
“Hello, Sasha,” said Twoface. “What are those red flowers? I’ve never seen those before.”
Sasha was originally a Martian of Russian descent, born in the Hellas basin under the governance of the Ares International Corporation (AIC). The Loroi were disturbed by the fact that the AIC was in fact a terrestrial nation state with the authority to govern over its citizens. Though its citizens preferred it over the more militaristic reign of the more militant Yinghuo state occupying Chryse Planitia. Having failed his higher studies at a corporate college, Sasha worked as manual labor for the AIC's agricultural division. He claimed to learn far more from his work than college anyway. But after losing his job, Sasha was forced to seek employment off world. Since the Union border worlds were short of laborers, Sasha had been granted a visa to live and work in the Union. But, as he was passing through Azimol on his way to his assigned job, the MIzols approached him when looking for recruits to act in part as the human children' guardians at the creche. Sasha was enormous. Tall and muscular. Yet despite his intimidating size, he was a gentle giant. The Loroi children were most curious to touch his grey beard. Even Listel Weaver, having never seen a beard herself, wanted to touch it.
Sasha put his watering can down and fished out a clipper from his pocket. “Roses. Earth flowers. Boss Greywind bring. Boss want me to grow more.” He clipped a white Deinar flower and walked over to the Sentinel. “Here. Beautiful flower for beautiful woman. And beautiful child.”
Twoface could not help but blush. “You are too kind, Sasha. But my hands are full.”
Sahsa surprised Twoface when he delicately placed the flower behind her ear. Twoface’s scars did not seem to bother him. “Beautiful.”
Twoface’s cheeks and ears turned a deeper shade of blue. Not many called her beautiful.
“You ever watch neie on Deinar?” Sasha asked.
“Excuse me?”
The big man pointed toward the Garden’s balcony. “Neie. What is word? Dawn. You watch sun come up from balcony?”
His Trade needed improvement, but Twoface understood what he was conveying. “Oh, no,” she said. “I have not seen the sunrise here.”
“Wake up early tomorrow. Go watch. Good view. The best.” Sasha went back to his garden work.
That would be nice to see. Perhaps she would see the dawn tomorrow. Might give her the inspiration she needed to finally come up with a name for the baby. Maybe the baby would like to see it too. On that thought, Twoface reflected on Listel Sazset Cotton's recent explanation for Twoface's and Dawn's presence at this creche. And why the Emperor was so interested in keeping them safe. It was hard to believe and yet it would explain Twoface's strange dream at the Greensea Hospital. Twoface could subconsciously pierce the human lotai. But only when both subjects were asleep. The wave of joyful hysteria overtaking the hospital came from their bond. How and why remained a mystery. Which is why Cotton clearly instructed that Twoface had to be mindful of her proximity to Dawn during sleep. The Chronicler's secret project entailed the study of hopeful unravelling of the human lotai. Now with two subjects present, the project might progress more quickly. A fact that excited Cotton.
Twoface was strictly forbidden by Cotton and the Emperor not disclose this information to anyone outside their circle. Her safety and that of the baby's depended on it. Not even her friends, Weaver and Icespear, could know. Twoface felt conflicted about all of this. But she seemed to have little choice in the matter. As long as no harm came to her or the baby, she was bound by duty to obey.
The child in her arms snapped Twoface out of her pondering with, “Neh!”
“No. Not ‘neh’! You just ate,” said Twoface. It was funny how the cry ‘neh’ sounded a bit like ‘neie’.
A thought suddenly occurred to Twoface. She remembered her dream vividly with the baby back at the Greensea Hospital. Recalled how she found the little one in a subconscious landscape of darkness, shining like the light of the dawn amidst a sea of laughing stars.
“Dawn,” said Twoface thoughtfully. She looked back down at the child with a grin. “Let’s go back to Sister Judith. She’ll be happy to know that I finally chose a name for you.”
-
The journey back to Cry of the Wind took nearly half a day for Greywind. After leaving the Island and entrusting the human and Loroi children to their old and new caretakers, her personal shuttle, Farplane-01, headed for the Toridas Space Station. Upon arriving, she parted ways with Ashrain, wishing her brave venturer a safe journey.
Livewire remained in the city of Toridas, to keep on eye on any Diadem Council Members that might be trying to undermine Greywind. But not before Greywind gave her a firm warning, “Observe only and report what you find! And do try to be less callous!”
Livewire was reliable in the sense that she got the job done and was committed to upholding the family’s status, but Greywind could sense that the Loroi enjoyed using her vicious talents. Too much in fact. During Livewire’s training, Greywind had to pull a lot of strings to transfer her second great granddaughter from the Teidar Academy to the Mizol School after her teachers were threatening to expel her. All at the behest of Livewire’s mother, Fairwind, and grandmother, Shadowlane, who could not bear the thought of Livewire being demoted to civilian life. Livewire’s father, a grandson to Greywind, was uninterested in the matter. And while Greywind was absolute in her reign, she still had to make compromises.
Farplane-01 departed from Toridas station and rejoined with the Imperial Mobile Capital. As Greywind passed through the umbilical cord from the shuttle and boarded the Cry of the Wind, the Emperor’s most trusted Sentinel was waiting for her. A recently appointed Ambassador who still performed partial duties as intelligence officer even after all these tozons.
“Torrai Azerain Greywind,” the Mizol bowed reverently. “Welcome back.”
“I hope things went well in my absence, Torimor Tempo,” sent Greywind.
“They have,” Tempo sent honestly. She kept pace with her Emperor, careful not to step on her long trail of purple hair. “First Officer Nova has been managing well in your absence. Cry of the Wind is ready to move out on your command. I have organised our appointments by order of urgency.”
Greywind was handed a datapad by Tempo and reviewed. At the top of the list was the Emperor's meeting with Civilian delegates of Maiad Sector. After that was the Cry of the Wind’s and First Strike Group’s meeting with the Morat Sovereignty in the Steppes. They finally agreed to sign the treaty. As soon as it could be ratified by the Assembly, the Morat would be Union Members. Something that did not sit well with the Delrias, but the Morat needed this to survive. Next was an appointment with Torrai Sushret Sunfury. They would rendezvous at Azimol to discuss their occupation of the former Umiak worlds. The Tenuki and Jilaad peoples were desperate to rebuild their crumbling infrastructures but difficult to reason with. After that was a meeting with Fleet Commanders at the Dinnan Sector where they would make plans for their expansion into the Wastelands that the TCA had not claimed yet. Also to uproot potential hideouts of those damn raiders. If they were lucky, perhaps they’d find a few children.
"We'll set our coarse for the Steppes," sent Greywind.
"The Steppes?" Tempo sent back surprised. "Emperor, respectfully, the civilians of Maiad seem to be terribly neglected by Governor Harmony. The Civilian delegates have been pleading for an audience with you for months-"
"We can dispatch a Torimor to Maiad Sector to speak with Governor Harmony," Greywind cut her off, handing the pad back to Tempo. "And determine the actual state of the civilians. There is still too much at stake within Seren and Tinza Sectors, Tempo. Maiad will have to wait."
Tempo sighed. "As you wish, Emperor." She adjusted the Emperor's schedule on her datapad.
The Emperor marched her way to the bridge with her subordinate in tow. It was time to get Cry of the Wind on the move.
Oh, one more thing, said Tempo as she extracted something from her leg pouch.
Greywind was pleasantly surprised when the Mizol handed a plastic doll dressed in blue with a cape of red and a crimson and yellow insignia engraved on its chest. Where was it?
One of your chamber's cleaners snuck it into her collection of personal possessions, sent Tempo. She has been properly disciplined for her misconduct.
I was afraid I'd lost it, Greywind said with relief as she held the doll by her side. I wonder if Ben still remembers the Son of Krypton.
Last edited by Snoofman on Mon Jan 01, 2024 3:30 pm, edited 13 times in total.
Very nice reading, thank you!
(Takes a long while with all the kids-related interruptions my life deals with - it had me trained to stop reading mid-sentence, and coming back knowing where the word that I stopped with is on the page...)
It feels a little bit unfinished, as the future of the kids is left fully open, and the kids seem to be little more than a pet project of the emperor.
But your story is Twoface's story, and the other events just touch a bit Twoface's story.
Meant as constructive criticism:
SpoilerShow
Personally, I think a better ending would've been, instead of the Emperor's chapter and stitching Tempo into your story, to have Twoface carefully get up, gently picking up the Baby for her naming ceremony, (avoiding to wake her) and have Twoface and Sister Judith meet on the balcony, for an appointment they decided on after Twoface told Judith her name idea.
It became a longer exchange, where Judith also explained several naming ceremonies on Earth, especially the church ones.
Arriving at the balcony, they find Sasha, who came to balcony of his own motivation, and is looking into the direction of the dawning sun (and initially ignoring/not-reacting/deaf to TF and Judith).
And a farseer comes, on appointment, to relay contact to Greywind, after Judith contacted Greywind after the talk the night before.
Judith prepares, and Sasha and TF talk more, and TF finds out Sasha is Christian too, but a different Church. TF has another idea, and reluctantly Judith agrees to Sasha becoming the Godfather, but in absence to other candidates, Judith baptises the child when the sun gets up.
(The farseer being present to relay the ceremony to the godmother Greywind, and Greywind's wishes back.)
But again, I thank you for your efforts to share this story with us.
And my criticism has no value, since it's neither my story, nor have I written more than some ideas, and I am just a stranger from the InterWebs anyway, where criticism is cheap...
STAR CONTROL: The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! (sorry for spamming, will amend signature again when Kickstarter has ended, or many complain about my signature)
Just went through this in one go, a rather good read. Characters felt rather distinct and generally plausible as personalities, and Twoface's perspective was an interesting one to follow. I have a few points of feedback, myself.
The one thing I particularly didn't like in the story was the with Greywind and Ben. The 'punchline' wasn't anywhere near worth the setup. They could have had the same relationship without the misdirection and it would have been fine, but wondering if the story was going to go where it was hinting was unpleasant, at least for me personally.
One thing that didn't make much sense in hindsight to me is Livewire referring to Dawn as a 'specimen', given that she seems in on what actually goes on at the Island. I can buy her viewing the whole thing in a very cynical way or having a negative take on it that colors her terminology, and especially in sanzai, but I can't quite warp it enough to make that choice of word fit. It feels a little contrived, like it was deliberately picked to provoke a confrontation to advance the plot. I suppose that wouldn't be entirely out of character for her, but also seems like something Greywind would take a rather dim view of if someone noticed.
On the subject of love, it's a fine and fairly well executed theme to hang the story on, but the view of love as expressed by the Loroi here doesn't square with how I understand Loroi society to view it. A jaded and cynical Greywind might find acting out of love quaint, naive, foolish, or so on, but not abhorrent or deviant. In the Insider's words, "Love is permitted and even encouraged, but attachment is not", I think if for instance Talon did something risky out of a platonic love of Spiral then that'd raise no particular eyebrows. Jealousy, envy, and obsession are the taboos, not affection or loyalty. A little bending of the canon for fanfiction doesn't bug me too much(I think there's some canonicity conflicts with the depiction of alcohol too), but I thought I'd mention it.
Leaving critique behind: For my part, the actions and attitude of Livewire were entirely believable, at least as currently presented in the current version. Ugly, but believably so. And the response of the protagonists is also pretty believable. Not smart, but they didn't exactly have a lot of time to sit down and think things out rationally.
I hope you write more. Personally I would be interested in seeing what kind of Outsider fanon you could build seperately from extending Dragoongfa's, no offense intended to them but those stories have never quite been my cup of tea for various reasons. I wouldn't begin to expect that to have too much sway over where your inspiration lands, but if you've thought of doing something you should know you've got at least one interested reader waiting.
Enjoyed the story - it was an interesting read on human-loroi relationships. Thank you for writing it. Hopefully the rest of my critique is useful - I enjoyed the story, but I had a few issues that lessened my enjoyment of it. On the other hand, I'd rather have stories that can be picked at than no stories, so please don't get let this prevent you from writing down any other ideas you have
I enjoyed reading about the characters. My only real complaint was Livewire - she seemed totally reckless in the way she handled the Green Sea hospital pickup from the beginning. I don't think I have a problem with her being hostile, but the way she was hostile seemed like it should have been disciplined much more strongly by Greywind (and probably even by Ashrain at the time - at least, Ashrain should have told Greywind much more about it in my view). To me, it seemed that the Green Sea incident was thrown in for drama and then the repercussions were ignored for the sake of progressing the story, which was a bit of negative for a story I enjoyed up to that point. I also don't think they would have been able to cover up the whole incident that well. That might just be my understanding of sanzai, so that probably is part of my dislike of Livewire's actions in that section.
The writing for the fight scene between Icespear and the mizols was good, but I think the way the fight was envisioned did not work for me. Icespear's telekinesis seemed all over the place, especially since mizol are not supposed to be well-trained in defending against it, but then you have her able to burn the inside of the mizol's helmet. I just don't think it would have been much of a fight as presented.
I didn't really like the cloaking technology idea, though I can see the argument for it. And didn't like the idea of having Livewire under a lotai - I think you could have just not mentioned it or had her mental shielding be enough to keep Two Face from noticing her due to all of the distractions available. Might just be a quirk of mine, as I tend to think lotai is something much more rare even for mizol.
I think my main dislike after this scene is that the story switched from Two Face as the main character to Greywind, and I felt like Two Face was the more interesting character. I also felt like Greywind's plan with the children was too risky - I don't think there is any way she keeps it quiet among the loroi. I also worry that all it would take is one loroi telling the human representatives for the humans to make demands that give the loroi the pretense they need to conquer humanity.
I enjoyed the scene of Ben and Greywind playing video games while Sister Judith disapproves, though it helps that I'm familiar with the games. If I wasn't very familiar, I probably wouldn't like it due to how long it took to setup, and I could see the setup being uncomfortable for some readers. I think I agree Krulle's idea on ending with the baby naming (maybe without stretching it out) instead of having the section on Greywind's leaving.
Thank you all for reading and for your critique. You make some excellent points. When you're in the heat of writing and being lead by your muse, it can be hard to look back and analyse how good/bad or believable a scene really is. While I have considered going back to alter a few details, doing so requires a lot of oversight to avoid plot inconsistency as well as quite a bit of brain power.
Although, if it compensates, I will definitely take your advice to heart for future writings. And while I can make no guarantees, maybe change a few scenes in 'Dawn' to make it more believable without ruining the spirit of the tale.
For example, instead of a fight scene at the Greensea Hospital, I considered that the baby is taken by Ashrain and Livewire under imperial orders leaving the baby-protecting trio behind with new orders to return to service. But, unable to let the baby go in good conscience, the trio pursue them. There are many ways it could go!
I understand also if not everyone likes how the story switches for a moment from Twoface to Greywind, but I did that intentionally because I have been thinking about writing a story about how Greywind and Ben meet. I meant only to touch on Ben's and Greywind's intimate scene together to catch the reader's interest and incite some wonder about their origins.
While we are on the subject of Greywind and Ben, I can understand if some readers might get uncomfortable with the setup in Greywind's bed chambers. It was also inspired by a few scenes in the video game, Nier Automata, in which the two robot brothers Adam and Eve are having a discussion at a dining table with some obvious innuendos, but ultimately the dialogue between the brothers can be open to interpretation. Are the two brothers really into each other, or are they sincerely just showing unperverted affection that brothers might typically show each other? I was intentionally trying to mislead readers to give them a twist and surprise. The intimacy between Greywind and Ben is a pure one. So don't get funny ideas!
But if it seems like that doesn't work, I might change that as well. Plus, sometimes you have to risk crossing a line in order to know what's acceptable to readers and what's not.
Also, I had considered switching the ending, but there is a problem. While Sister Judith is proud of her faith, she also does not believe in forcing her religion on others. Something that she and the Archbishop she was originally assisting did not see eye to eye on. She believes that faith should be chosen. And would only baptise children if they chose it willingly. Plus since Greywind adopted the children, Greywind like many Loroi might not appreciate her adopted humans placing their faith in idols when she would probably rather they place their faith in each other and in their individual selves. That does not mean Greywind is not intrigued by Sister Judith's religion. Plus I believe I read somewhere in the forums that Greywind has some interest in ancient Loroi spirituality and philosophy for personal reasons.
I have also been thinking about writing a tale about how Judith is recruited and interviewed by the Emperor. And how they come to a mutual understanding.
Thanks you toom my criticism as constructive.
Not a given on the InterWebs of today.
As I mentioned before, this is your story.
I also somewhat like that Greywind has guilty pleasures, like spending too much time wasting time on Human entertainment.
And indulging Ben with it.
I do like Judith's stance, of simply living the Christian life and not actively conversing those around her.
I've once read a story about how some of the missionaries who went to China worked.
Adn that it was all about numbers.
Basically they christened everyone, without checking if these people did this only to get access to the rice pots the Churches offered, or whether they were genuinely interested in being Christians.
Which resulted in when a new priest was sent to take over the mission, he would expect hundreds of followers, only to find none, and all the funds spent, while the priest that went back to Europe got promoted for his successes.
SpoilerShow
The Keys of the Kingdom, A. J. Cronin
STAR CONTROL: The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! (sorry for spamming, will amend signature again when Kickstarter has ended, or many complain about my signature)
A special message. I have been hard at work and made some changes to chapter 9 primarily, along with a few details that follow in the chapters after to avoid any plot inconsistencies. If you notice any inconsistencies, be sure to point them out so I can correct them.
Essentially, instead of Twoface having a mental breakdown and Icespear going berserk at the hospital, the baby is kidnapped. Want to know by whom and for what purpose, you'll have to read and find out.
I'm also planning just one more chapter before I move on to some new writings.
A special message. I have been hard at work and made some changes to chapter 9 primarily, along with a few details that follow in the chapters after to avoid any plot inconsistencies. If you notice any inconsistencies, be sure to point them out so I can correct them.
Essentially, instead of Twoface having a mental breakdown and Icespear going berserk at the hospital, the baby is kidnapped. Want to know by whom and for what purpose, you'll have to read and find out.
I'm also planning just one more chapter before I move on to some new writings.
I hope you enjoy.
Thank you for the update - hopefully you didn't feel required to update the story, but I appreciate seeing how the story could change. Sorry for taking so long to reread it.
I enjoyed the changes immensely. Livewire still seems sadistic without seeming like a liability to Greywind's goals. Twoface's story gets even more depressing but I cannot complain - it is good story development. I just tend to be a sucker for someone with such a sad story - I had held out hope that Luckystar would at least be happy somewhere even if she never got back in touch with Twoface in the original.
Thank you for the update - hopefully you didn't feel required to update the story, but I appreciate seeing how the story could change. Sorry for taking so long to reread it.
I enjoyed the changes immensely. Livewire still seems sadistic without seeming like a liability to Greywind's goals. Twoface's story gets even more depressing but I cannot complain - it is good story development. I just tend to be a sucker for someone with such a sad story - I had held out hope that Luckystar would at least be happy somewhere even if she never got back in touch with Twoface in the original.
You weren't required for rereading it, but thank YOU. Livewire will be playing another role, or so I intend, in future instalments. She does indeed seem that way, but even Greywind has to make compromises and accept liabilities from her family and the clans and families allied to her. Family is good, but family can also be a pain in the ass that we have to learn to deal with.
It does seem like Twoface is suffering, but she could have had it worse. While she is on parole, she will have the chance to return to the Emperor's good graces, reclaim her rank and is even being allowed to stay with the baby that she has grown attached to. Even while we suffer in life, we can always climb out of it or at least make the best of our situation.
Deinar’s sun was just below the ocean’s horizon. The dawn was approaching, alighting the sky with red and orange. Twoface held the child close wrapped in white cloth. She stood with Sister Judith along with Icespear, Weaver and Slipstream, the island's only Farseer, on the balcony of the Garden. While Farseers could not communicate over the span of lightyears, they could still sense the presence of others (except humans). Greywind had instructed Slipstream to stay close with the humans and partake in their activities so that, even if Greywind could not see and hear what they did, she could still in a sense be close to them.
After Twoface approached Judith the day before and chose the baby’s name, Judith insisted that a naming ceremony should be performed for the child. For most Loroi, a naming ceremony never came until passing one’s trials. Judith insisted even that the ceremony be performed early in the morning before starting their daily routines. Weaver and Icespear were also encouraged to partake since they had protected the baby for their entire journey.
The dozens of the children had also been awakened to witness the baby's welcoming ceremony and sat on the stone steps. Though a few of them were still groggy from being woken up so early. Some clusters of the children mumbled or gossiped as they patiently waited.
Twoface was curious at the display that the old nun had set up. Sister Judith had prepared a small table with a book and a basin filled with water.
“Sister Judith,” said Twoface as she rocked little Dawn gently. “What is this naming ceremony you are preparing?”
The old nun chuckled. “Oh, Twoface,” she said with a smile. “There are many human ceremonies and rites of initiation. This is just one. Partially inspired by the Catholic sect.”
“So it is a religious ritual?” said Weaver.
“It derives some religious elements,” Judith admitted. “An ancient ritual inspired by our Lord to welcome newborns, and even adult converts, into the Church. Called baptism.”
“Bab-tee-what?” asked a confused Icespear with her left hand resting on her hip.
“Baptism. Traditionally the ceremony invokes God’s sacred name to cleanse and welcome a child or convert in sacramental water. Blessing that one with the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Icespear’s eyes went wide with bemused, sceptical wonder. “Hefty,” she said half sarcastically.
“Judith, Are you making Dawn a convert?” Twoface asked.
“Oh, no,” Judith shook her hands. “As I said, this ritual is merely inspired by my faith. It is meant to initiate new arrivals. And not just new children. Even adults like yourself. It reminds the children and adults here that we all are part of the same family, no matter our opinions or beliefs. And it is compassion and comradeship that unites us. Little Dawn here may become a Christian one day if she so chooses. But I cannot make that choice for her. No matter our faith, God unconditionally loves all.”
“Does he now?” sent Icespear with a telepathic chuckle, motioning to Judith’s necklace. While Icespear had no love for religion, she was a bit curious about what exactly the old nun worshipped. She asked the day before what Judith’s cross represented and who this 'God' was supposed to be. Judith explained as best she could, giving the Unsheathed a brief summary of their deity’s history and the supposed miracles performed by his son. The same son that hung from Judith’s cross. “Whoever this ‘God’ is, he certainly has an obscure sense of compassion. How does forcing a human male to die on a primitive torture device prove a deity’s unconditional love?”
“Perhaps with more study, we’ll understand the context of Judith’s religion,” Weaver sent back before addressing Judith. “Sister Judith, does Emperor Greywind approve of this ritual?” Judith nodded to Weaver's surprise. “I did not know the Emperor was interested in spiritual ceremonies.”
“While the Emperor and I may not see eye to eye on religion,” said Judith, “we do have a mutual understanding on the importance of spiritual practice.”
“Wow,” Icespear commented. “Emperor Greywind? Spiritual? Understanding? This is news.”
"Icespear," Twoface scolded her.
"Can we get on with this?" one of the human boys said out loud. "I'm tired. And bored."
"Be nice," Ben shot back at him. "The baby's part of the family now."
"Oh Ben, stop being such a mama's boy," the kid shot back.
A few of the kids snickered. Ben glared at him and made to stand. But Swiftsure, sitting by his side, patted his shoulder to calm him.
“Silence please," Judith called out to the assembly, waving her hands as she guided the children into submissive silence. "Silence. Settle down. Good morning everyone."
"Good morning, Sister Judith," the loroi and human children answered in unison.
"Thank you all for waking up so early to welcome our newest arrival. So let us begin,” Sister Judith performed the sign of the cross. “In the name of the father and the son and the holy spirit. Amen.”
Twoface noticed three human children answer in kind, "Amen." They must have been Christians too, thought Twoface.
Twoface had seen many strange rituals and rites of initiation, Loroi and alien alike, but was anxious to see what this human ceremony entailed. Weaver, being the inquisitive Listel that she was, soaked up every detail of the human practice. With her arms crossed, Icespear was attentive as duty dictated.
“My friends,” the old nun addressed the assembly. “We gather here to bring this baby into our community. And these three brave souls… Twoface… Weaver… and Icespear… who trekked across an ocean of stars to harbor the life of an innocent to safe shores. Few people are willing to go so far for love.”
Twoface and Weaver were touched. Even stubborn Icespear seemed mildly flattered.
“And that is why I, Sister Judith, from the order of nuns, deem it proper that these three, if they choose, shall be deemed the godmothers of this child.” Sister Judith approached the very surprised Loroi.
“Judith, pardon me, but what is a godmother?” Twoface asked.
“A godmother is a person sworn at the baptism of a child to care for and raise a child in the event that the child’s parent passes away or is incapable. And since our Emperor cannot be present to care for her adopted children, including this one here,” Judith pointed to Dawn in Twoface’s arms, “that task falls to you three. To all of us.”
While this ‘godmother’ was merely a title, it seemed to be considered a great honor among humans. The three Loroi looked at each other with bemusement mixed with determination.
“Well, we did take care of her since her birth,” said Weaver. “And I am fond of the human."
“God Mother,” Icespear rolled the word around in her head. “Weird title. But I like it. Sounds like the name of a deity. And I suppose I should inspire the runts here by demonstrating my godly, unsheathed might.”
Twoface looked down at little Dawn. All she could do was smile. “And I made a promise to a woman. It is my duty to keep that promise. Even if I could break that vow, I could never abandon this child to fate and chance.”
The three Loroi who had stood by each other’s side to transport this child to safety smiled at each other before turning back to the old nun. “We accept.”
Sister Judith smiled. She took the book from the table and spoke, "The Lord be with you! A ready from the Holy Gospel according to Saint Mark."
Judith performed a cross on her forehead, mouth and chest, as did the other three children who seemed to share her faith. And Judith recited an odd tale of a human male called John the Baptist who performed baptismal ceremonies for humans from a river called Jordan. There, John washed humans wishing to be acquitted of their wrongdoings. But John also foretold of another who would come to acquit people of their wrongdoings by baptising them. Not with water as John. But with what Twoface could only deduce was the power of their Great Spirit. And this other man called Jesus came to John. While John insisted that he should be baptized by Jesus, Jesus insisted that it was expected of them to do what their deity required. So John washed Jesus. Then their deity's great voice shouted out from the heavens, "You are my son, the Beloved. With you I am well pleased."
"What an odd tale," thought Icespear. "What's the morale of such silly fantasy anyway?"
"Perhaps this story encapsulates the origin of the 'baptism' ritual," thought Weaver.
Judith laid the book down and said, “Twoface, bring the child forward.” Twoface brought Dawn and held her delicately over the water basin. “Twoface, what name have you chosen for this child?”
“Dawn.”
The first rays of the sun rose over the ocean, bathing the small assembly in its gentle, orange glow. The children sitting high atop the steps shielded their eyes from the morning glow.
Judith addressed Twoface, Weaver and Icespear. “Now it is time to recite your vows. Please repeat ‘We do’.”
And Judith swore the Loroi in: “Do you reject evil works and all its empty promises and all manner of wrongdoing?”
The assembled Loroi responded, “We do.”
“Do you believe in the forgiveness of wrongdoings and the redemption of the spirit?”
“We do.”
“Do you swear to protect this child, to love and cherish? And teach her to love and cherish others as well?”
“We do.”
“Do you swear to teach her in the ways of goodness, to give her strength through good times and bad?”
“We do.”
“Do you swear to care for the children of this place as you care for this child?”
“We do."
“Then by the grace of God, I welcome you, Dawn, and your guardians, Twoface, Icespear and Weaver, into our community. And so I bless you…” Judith cupped her hand as she scooped up the sacramental water and poured it over Dawn’s small head three times. “… In the name of the Father… and of the Son… and of the Holy Spirit. May God watch over you and your guardians, for all the days of your life. Hallelujah!”
Upon Judith's request, Slipstream, Weaver and Icespear slid their hands beneath Twoface’s and together they elevated little Dawn into the air. The rays of Deinar’s sun basking her with its warm glow. This was just the beginning of Dawn's upbringing on Deinar.
The old nun turned to the children sitting on the steps and said, "Please rise and welcome our newest family member. Dawn!"
The children rose in unison and chanted: "Welcome Dawn!"
-
Aboard Cry of the Wind, Farseer Lightwave approached the Emperor to relay news after sensing Farseer Slipstream join in a cluster with the loroi children as well as Twoface, Weaver and Icespear. Although neither Lightwave nor Greywind could see or hear what transpired on the island on Deinar that day, Greywind was content, having a good idea of what must have happened.
-
After narrowly escaping from the warehouses at Adadis, Luckystar rode her hover bike all the way to the suburb outskirts of Nottinrer. While she was not particularly good at deceiving with sanzai, Luckystar could still keep her mental defences up without looking conspicuous. Plus not many guards patrolled the suburbs regularly. But just to be safe, she left the hover bike behind and blended in with the crowd of Loroi walking through the old streets. She bought a misesa bun from a kiosk. She would need it.
Eventually she made it to an old fabrics shop and split half her bun with the shopkeeper she recognized.
“What we do in the shadows,” Luckystar sent to the shop keeper.
The old shopkeeper, with narrow cheeks, pointed chin and long ears, accepted the bun and answered, “Stays in the shadows.”
This was part of an old ganger custom. Members would share food or goods with each other as a sign of companionship and goodwill. The old shopkeeper directed her to a stairwell leading underground beneath the shop. Luckystar descended and came face to face with a few of her fellow gang members. Right before they knocked her out.
When she awoke, Luckystar was brought to an unknown location. All she could see around her was an ornate, circular lobby with tiled floors and silk drapes and wooden furniture. Only the sunlight illuminated the interior through the windows and glass doors.
Now Luckystar was lying on the tile floor beaten and bruised. Her left eye swollen and purple. Her ribcage and abdomen ached from all the punches which she was forced to endure from her fellow gangers after beating her relentlessly.
A single Loroi observing the gangers administer punishment to Luckystar stepped toward the hurting Soroin turned ganger. She wore a black jumpsuit with golden lines sown into the fabric, giving the illusion that she was trapped within looping wires of gold. Dressed over her shoulders was a dark grey cargo jacket with golden shoulder guards which she sported more like a cape. Her bronze hair concealed half her face, the blinding bangs reaching down to her chin, revealing one silver eye. A Seinen the gangers revered with wonder and fear.
“You think I enjoyed that?” Eternal Endurance asked as she loomed over the beaten Loroi.
Luckystar spat out a broken tooth and blue blood on the tiled floor, unable to muster the strength to look her Seinen in the eye.
“I asked you a question,” said Endurance as she clenched her gloved fists.
“Yes,” Luckystar painfully muttered.
Endurance fell to her knees beside Luckystar and aggressively took the beaten Loroi’s head into her gloved hands.
“You think I enjoy commanding one of my own to be punished?” Endurance sent with psychotic passion. “You think I enjoy watching one of my best getting thrashed and battered? You risked exposure and brought down the Imperials on one of our caches. All for a nostalgic reunion with your sister.”
Luckystar gurgled on her blood. "Seinen, I'm sorry."
The telepathic link between them intensified as Endurance sealed Luckystar’s bruised lips with a kiss. The breach of privacy shocked even the assembled gangers who dared not voice their honest opinions of this seemingly taboo act.
“Never again,” sent Endurance. She released Luckystar from their kiss, her lips stained with her subordinate’s blood. “She’s endured her punishment admirably. She won’t disappoint again. Get her patched and cleaned up. And someone fetch a dentist. I want her teeth fixed.”
Two gangers came and dragged the half-conscious Luckystar away.
“Superhot,” Endurance called to her secretary who was standing close by.
Superhot was a slender Loroi wearing black, hexagonal patterned jumpsuit and silver shoulder guards. Her white hair was tied back into overlapping braids that reached down to her waist, the sides of her skull shaved. A line of white diamond patterns were tattooed across her cheeks and etched across the bridge of her nose. The most striking feature was her crimson irises.
“Yes, Seinen,” Superhot answered.
“Have you sent the message out to our members across Deinar to relocate?”
“I have.”
“Excellent. I also want you to calculate our losses from Adadis,” Endurance instructed. She moved toward the glass paned doors leading out to a balcony. “Count how many Loroi dead and how much goods were lost.”
“Understood,” Superhot sent back. “But what about the auction?”
Endurance swung open the doors and stepped out onto the balcony. “Cancelled.” She rested her hands on the balcony’s railing.
“Seinen,” said Superhot following after Endurance to the balcony. She and her gangers were residing at a mansion sitting atop a hill overlooking the Nottin river and Nottinrer City. “Our clients will not like that.”
Endurance regarded her secretary with a silver-glowing stare as she licked the blood staining her lips. “Leave that to me. Now do your job.”
Superhot took the hint and walked briskly back inside to fulfill her tasks.
Eternal Endurance gazed at the sight of Nottinrer in broad daylight. How humorous she thought that the Union warriors residing in the metropolis had no idea that she was practically standing right under their scope. She and her gangers eluded capture by staying on the move like the nomads of ancient times and conducting their business in the shadows.
“Everything alright, Endurance?” Jealous Glow, the manor’s owner, sent as she walked up beside her friend.
“I suppose it could be worse,” Endurance huffed. “The Imperials just hit one of our caches. Thousands of talents worth of goods now gone.”
“I hope this doesn’t hurt our plans,” sent Jealous Glow.
“Certainly not. Just a minor setback. But with the Imperial warriors on alert, movement will be hindered for a while.”
“What about our plans for Donei?”
“Don’t fret,” Endurance assured her. “I still intend to leave for Donei within the next few nanapis. We have a revolution to organize. My greatest fear is that the Street Kings still opposing my presence on Deinar will exploit our vulnerability in my absence.”
“I’ll provide your gangers with sanctuary,” sent Jealous Glow. “I own much of the land here in Nottinrer. Including the old tunnels."
"That's good. The old underground pathways are vital to concealing our activities. The Imperials barely pay any attention to them anymore. They'll also keep our human specimens hidden until it is safe to recommence the auction. You are a true friend, Jealous Glow."
"Normally I would charge a fee for use of my property, Endurance. But perhaps I could forgive those costs in exchange for putting some of those specimens to good use. Temporarily of course. There are plenty of Loroi in Nottinrer eager for a male's touch."
"I suppose it's a small price to pay, Jealous Glow. Just as long as my goods are not damaged. My clients would be unhappy to receive a sullied product."
"Understood. When you returned to Deinar, I must admit I was reluctant to help you, Endurance. But now… I feel confident our cause will draw a lot of sympathizers from Maia and Donei.”
“Many Loroi in Maiad Sector hate the emperor as much as we do. Soon we will stand up to the Imperials. And I will finally have revenge. Greywind has big one coming her way.”
Last edited by Snoofman on Tue Dec 19, 2023 8:17 pm, edited 9 times in total.
What if the Loroi start to steal human children from the colony worlds and from human starships?
That is something I hope to touch on in future instalments. Human starships is a possibility, but would need a great amount of tactical skill. However, I can say with certainty that loroi gangers from the criminal underworld are unlikely to capture humans from colony worlds since travel to Terran space is expensive and policed. Though they might get lucky by raiding a human pirate world in the Great Wastelands. Or even just by secretly trading with human raiders. Like I said in previous chapters, the human raiders use children for either captive labor or ransom. If they're willing to do that to a human child, what's to stop them from making an easier buck by simply trading with some underworld loroi who desperately want young Loroi-lookalikes?
If Outsider ever gets finished, and if Arioch decides to write a sequel, that would be an interesting story.
I wonder though how realistic that would be.
The Loroi with their telepathy wouldn't be able to keep hiding the kids, especially not the civilians who bought the children.
I think for the gangers, that would be a too risky business, with the chance to have the whole gangers being rolled up.
A kid here or there for the ganger's bosses "zoo" [*], yes, but as "commodity" for rich civilians? Nah.
[*] Pablo Escobar, anyone?
But hey, it's your story, write away!
STAR CONTROL: The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! (sorry for spamming, will amend signature again when Kickstarter has ended, or many complain about my signature)
I wonder though how realistic that would be.
The Loroi with their telepathy wouldn't be able to keep hiding the kids, especially not the civilians who bought the children.
I think for the gangers, that would be a too risky business, with the chance to have the whole gangers being rolled up.
A kid here or there for the ganger's bosses "zoo" [*], yes, but as "commodity" for rich civilians? Nah.
[*] Pablo Escobar, anyone?
But hey, it's your story, write away!
I see your point. But the loroi who are interested in buying the human children are either criminals who are good at hiding in the criminal underworld, or law-abiding rich folks and plutocrats that think the reward is worth the risk.
What's the reward? A pet perhaps. Or simply a Loroi look-alike to make their successor, or simply raise to steal goods or information for them. Lotai is a valuable weapon for some loroi. Or just for the pure joy of holding a child in their arms. A child they can call their own. It may not make sense, but people often pay ridiculous amounts of money just to have stuff that doesn't make sense. There are plenty of rich humans who pay lots of money for 'commodities' that they don't even need, but it matters to them. Does it make sense to have headphones made of gold when you can buy cheap plastic ones? No, but some rich folks want it. Does it make sense to buy a Ford Mustang for 400k when you could buy Subaru BRZ for less than 30k? And does the same thing as the Mustang?
Plus, while deceiving with telepathy in the Outsider setting seems difficult, it seems possible. Even before getting their hands on human children, I'm sure there are rich and powerful loroi who train themselves to be good at deceiving with telepathy to have an upper hand in business or get away with some shady deals. It's possible that the criminals who were war profiteering during the Umiak War got away with lies and deception for a while. True they were eventually exposed and punished, but it worked for a while.
Plus even if the loroi cannot deceive with telepathy, they can audibly lie on the loroi equivalent of FaceTime. Some business owners might not meet with partners or authorities in person at all and work/communicate remotely. Hell millions of people are doing just that during the pandemic.
On top of that, if the loroi could not hide the children in populated areas, I'm sure the rich loroi have vacational retreats and private housing out on the country side where they could hide the humans.
You're right that it's risky business and likely to get caught. But so is dealing in drugs, for example. Pablo Escobar believed that the reward was worth the risk. And he accumulated so much influence and wealth even when he was committing some of the worst crimes imaginable. And he got away with all of it. Up until he lost it all when his sins, and the police, finally closed in on him. Bang!
Like I wrote, very few, extremely few, might work, and stay below the radar.
But once you establish a "line of supply" too many get attracted into it all, and you may need many more able to deceive when interrogated "red fury" style. ( https://well-of-souls.com/outsider/outsider028.html )
Not the amount of Human kids they can lay hands on may become the bottleneck, but the amount of clients, servants (also servants of the rich clients, attending the "pets"), and others in the chain/in contact with the Hunam trafficking will be the bottleneck of pulling this off.
They need to remain below radar, as long as they are, the necessity to rely on minds able to deceive to the necessary degree is less strict, as full force of the state investigative units will nto be brought on the organisation.
And I agree, remote working will help...
And an anonymizing darknet.
Otherwise, like I wrote, it's your story.
STAR CONTROL: The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! (sorry for spamming, will amend signature again when Kickstarter has ended, or many complain about my signature)
I'm glad you like it. Originally this story was only supposed to be four or five chapters, and Twoface's original name was meant to be Bluethorn. But when I switched her name to Twoface and added some more details to her physical appearance and character, I just couldn't stop my muse. The story would not have seemed as satisfying.
