Reflections on the Hypothetical [fanfic] (DISCO INFERNO)

[Fotiadis_110]

I should warn you I have had this idea ever since the thread 'What Humans can offer to the war' thread or similar... which was about 2 years ago.

It was the positive reactions they had to your posts which drew me to try to write my ideas into something more cohesive and better developed, called paragraphs.
Then take those paragraphs, burn them, recover their ashes, mix them up and then, utilising the overgrown bushes of concept in my mind, I feed those ashes into them to see if I could yield some kind of fruit which I might call a story.

Most people say I'm a pretty good writer, if hard to follow at times.
I mostly wonder how Writers could possibly do this as a full time job, because it really isn't all that easy.

Next instalment is already planned. Just have to write it now <_<
Comments and discussion leads to inspiration, which makes me far more likely to write...
Just a 'casual' hint :p

[Fotiadis_110]

DOUBLEPOST... apparently.

SpoilerShow

From the Sealed archives: A story telling the Loroi side of the battle of *Classified*

Damn these bugs, damn them to the cold dark emptiness of space

<Commodore?>

Making a quick decision the Commodore of the Loroi ship *Classified*
<Keep on our current path, the main Umiak fleet must be kept busy till reinforcements arrive>

<But what of the group driving towards the transports?>

<They will have to pray their random walk systems deliver them to safety, or that our reinforcements arrive and scare those damn bugs away from their grouped attack>

<And the picket protecting the transport lines?>

<Leave them where they are, every loss we can inflict without losing any of our own benefits our pitiful situation, but inform them we need to make every one of our warships count for ten craft of their own, and to accordingly avoid direct confrontation, we don’t have the fire-power to hope to win in those circumstances.>

<Understood commander, relaying instructions now>

Looking over her tactical maps it was bad, all those seeming random ‘raiding’ forces who were previously applying pressure from a wide range of angles, but generally being driven away by the superior range of the Loroi ships, were now accelerating towards a singular point, with the obvious destination being the many transports trying to escape the system.
The only good news was there were very few torpedoes in the Umiak inventory of those raiders, so at least some of the transports should escape.

The only thing she didn’t understand was why some of the transports, the empty ones, were drifting away from the convoy path, towards the combat zone… were they hoping to sacrifice themselves in an effort to distract the Umiak from more valuable targets, or thinking that by splitting up the poor Ai on the Umiak torpedoes would bite them in an effort to keep their companions alive? Such self sacrifice might be noble, but honestly at the rate the battle was going at, the odds of anyone surviving to remember were dropping with every Loroi casualty being inflicted.

Three days, and a Lashret gets all to inherit all these problems

Glancing at the time on the screen she realised something

Oh, only two and a half now...

_____________________________
(Around half an hour later, aboard the ranking ship in the Loroi picket)

“What are those Humaniti idiots doing?” The Duty Starlane Control Officer screamed over the uplink in a very unsettled manner. (ooc: Seinen probable rank?)
“Why are they charging towards your lines right at the opponent? Is this your doing Torret ███████?”

“I have no more information than you Starlane Control, if I had to guess they are aiming to provide more targets and less viable attack lines in the combat, literally shielding our ships with their lives, which given how desperate our position is starting to look I hope only the best for them, and pray they survive without entering our lines of fire.”

“You mean that they haven’t communicated with you?”

“We haven’t even been able to reach them to inform them to keep our lanes of fire clear, it appears they have closed normal communication channels for some reason”

“I kept raising them to instruct them to return to their escape path, but those Humaniti fools kept closing the Com link as quickly as I could connect, and suddenly it went dead entirely!”

“Knowing monkeys they probably worked out how the systems operate and turned them off”

“There IS no way to turn them off!”

“I haven’t ever looked but I suspect they are powered by the ship via a few key connections, connections which could be disconnected by one of those monkeys with a little skill, you’d be surprised just how much they really understand about how our ships work, far more than some of even our senior bridge staff, never underestimate a Humaniti individuals' ability to dismantle and understand the inner workings of something, I once met one turn a ships water dispenser device into a ‘vodka’ dispenser in a matter of days, while also adding a second subsystem that still dispensed water, cleaner and of better quality than our own shipboard water. It was most interesting.”

“But.. but.. They aren’t allowed to modify the ships in the first place!”

“I spoke to a couple captains, apparently it helps to keep their crew interested and in high spirits if they are allowed to plan and eventually perform a few different experimental modifications, apparently monkeys have needed ‘hobbies’ since forever.”
“Anyway the Commodore would be most displeased if I crack open allied ships, even if they are just transports, so I already have shared instructions between my group to avoid firing through the path of those transports if it can be avoided.”

If only the flagship hadn’t fallen the Captain thought If only our Lashret were still here we would know what to do, I appreciate the Commodore is doing her best, but the fire-power of the flagship, plus the skill of her command would be invaluable, Greywind, what do I do?

________________________________

IN THE NEXT EPISODE: Humans and Umaik characters?
Are you exited?
Probably not.
Oh well :p

I really have no idea if anyone is reading this or not... if not i'll stop checking spelling etc... and that WILL be scary.

[Absalom]

I read it, but spell checking (and it's absence) don't really frighten me. I've been on the internet for a good deal more than a month, after all .

[Michael]

AHH, NO! don't switch off the mighty spell checker! thats all that keeps the interwebs civilised!....and it still not!

[Fotiadis_110]

Are you exited?


Spell checker is great, but when you retroactively notice you typed the wrong word anyway?

It sucks.

lol

[Fotiadis_110]

Once again we meet our hero!
And we meet the HORRIBLE opponent.
And my smallest instalment yet :p
Odds are I forgot something important and will have to re-write this bit, or retroactively replace it with some new entry

SpoilerShow

“Greetings, Captain Rodgers”

“Likewise, Captain Yui”

“Reports state that my division have finished the modifications your engineer suggested, and can activate them at a moments notice, I must say it’s surprising the Loroi haven’t tried implementing such upgrades for emergency situations in the past”

“Well it largely is due to removing the limiters and overdriving other components. Odds are the ships however cannot sustain prolonged use of them, so we have to limit our use of them as much as possible.”

“And the rest of the volunteers, Rodgers? Are they ready yet?”


“Only two ships are having complications, apparently their drives were of a slightly newer model than our own, and Paul is working with them to sort out the difficulties, they will be ready on time however.”

“Rodgers, do you actually think this will work?”

“I believe it is the most likely way to ensure those who have to survive do. When I joined the service I had been hoping for action and was willing to sacrifice myself to help in the war, now I get the opportunity to do so, even if I do have to break the rules to do it. Besides, one way or the other our actions will assist, it all comes down to how the bugs react.”

“I don’t need convincing Rodgers; I did offer to join after consultation with my crew because I wanted to try to save those stuck planet side myself. I’m just wondering if you think the Umiak will fall for the trick.”

“Yui I cannot make that call myself, I am no xenophysiologist, but I have read the records they offered and come up with a number of likely scenarios, and only one of them had a worse end, and that scenario is where we let the bugs attack us at their leisure, at least this way we will face their guns when WE choose to, rather than waiting for them to take the initiative. If they shoot us, then they will be not shooting at the warships protecting the other transports, and the Loroi will have the luxury of having free shots while they take us apart, If they don’t then we can follow with our plan, both ways our side benefits because given the way their guns are mounted; as long as we stick somewhat with the strike group, they can’t shoot us with guns they wouldn’t already be pointing at the warships.”

“We’ll have to see about that Rodgers, we’ll talk more later, keep up the good work and may the Spirits protect you”

“May those Spirits protect you as well Yui, we’ll need all the help we can get stopping that plasma fire either way”

______________________________

kkkttktkkkttkkkkt
ktKKttkttkttktkkts
*Further entries have been translated for your reading pleasure*
[commander] what are [those ships] doing

accelerating to join [the picket] of [the enemy forces] which should be obvious to [foolish asker]

but to what purpose [mighty commander]

either distraction to prevent [our fleet] from taking shots at [the picket] or more likely to act as armour for [the enemy forces] to take hits from [our torpedos].
contact [our fleet] and instruct them to save [our torpedos] for later, we have unleashed most of those we possess and [our fleet] should have opportunity to use them to catch wounded ships off guard, or to crack open transports near [the jump zone] who we can’t hit with [plasma focus] before they escape to [the neighbouring system]
also instruct [our fleet] to simply avoid [those ships] then simply ignore them, [those ships] have no notable screens nor armour to block our shots, shooting through [those ships] to hit [the enemy forces] would be without difficulty.

at once [commander]

actually let us make [the bet] the more of [those ships] you can hit through a true aimed shot at [the enemy ships] will add to [our points], with double rations for those who win [the bet] by having the highest [our points].
[those ships] hit by weapons fire that could not have hit [the enemy ships] will deduct from [our points], and those with negative [our points] shall fast for 2 meals.

How much worse can it get for our heros
Is it even clear who the Umiak Commander is and who is not?
Can anyone even stand seeing Umiak style writing again? And more importantly did I even do a decent approximation?
Only the Author knows! Well actually only Arioch knows with relation to that last question... And I suspect he doesn't even read these

[ed_montague]

I really liked the Umiak dialogue. Kinda expected slightly more run-on sentences and redundancy due to the unique Umiak way of speech, but then again I'm just a potted plant.

On a completely unrelated, self-promoting note, I finally finished writing another installment of the main story. (*cough* read it *cough*)

[Fotiadis_110]

hmm really?
I likey.

WANT MOAR!

SpoilerShow

From the Blackbox recording from the ship *Classified* of the battle for *Redacted*
Date *Redacted*
*Playback restarted*

“Captain Rodgers, I have sent the signal burst to the Torret in charge of the picket fleet as requested”

“Thank you, Peter, now at least our allies will be allowed to hear our plans, keep the channel you burst them on open, no point turning off the coms when we are within striking distance of the opposing fleet, how long till engagement now?”

“Only two hours, shall I send the order to our fleet to engage phase two?”

“Well at present we are on course, on time and on track to join the Loroi at their present location to assist, if they start to manoeuvre however we will phase two to meet our goals, at present we have no reason to give the Umiak any hint of what we are planning to do here.”

“Well if we get out of here alive, won’t the fleet court martial us for breaking orders?”

“According to the rules of combat, failing to lend assistance to a military unit in need when you had the capacity to do so is also court a martial-able offence. So in theory we have a good enough excuse to perform well today, and while we might be relegated to transports in human space at least other captains will be jealous that we got to serve in combat, while they probably never will. Think of the beers we’ll be bought.”

“We aren’t allowed to drink while in service you know?”

“Might just have to call the crew in sick for a couple days whenever we hit star ports then, and focus on taking cargos that don’t have a set arrival time like clothes and such, the pay might not be great but we certainly will be known as heroes to many.”

“[incoming transmission]”

“Hmm?... I see, so the Torret will be doing THAT… that should help us out”

“What is it Captain?”
“Apparently they are soon going to do a manoeuvring burn to ‘cover’ our unprotected transports in a sort of reverse of our overall plan, but leave us space to pull off our little strategy while obliterating as many Umiak gunships or other ships that might be able to pick us as targets of opportunity. Basically, this way we can wait till the maximum effective range of the Umiak weapons to activate phase 2, although we should do it about 10 minutes before so we can ensure as few bugs as possible”

“Why not pulse test? According to some of the reports we have most Umiak ships have buggy sensor nets and if we vent some of the drives to space at the same time as we test phase two’s success we can make them conclude we are overrunning our reactors to burn as hard as we are, and having to vent to maintain control.”

“As long as we do it in a somewhat random manner to make them believe various ships are doing so as they need it rather than being pre-planned we should be set then.”
*Playback ended*
______________________

*███████████████████████*
unclassified information->*Listel recordings from the warship leading the picket defensive forces*

<Full deceleration now in progress>

<Thank you Engines>

<Are you really going for their plan Torret ███████?>

<It has a good chance to work, won’t interfere with our own strategy much and will help to further confuse the Umiak about what exactly we are facing, and this form of confusion can assist both our goals and their own, and should their apparently suicidal plan pay off, then the situation at this end of the system may well be reversed, If we fall here today, then we will only be statistics, warriors lost in this seemingly endless conflict, if they fall, they will be listed among the legends who gave their lives for those of others, personally I’m slightly jealous of them.>

<Jealous of those pink feminised males?>

<No matter which way their plan unfolds, win or defeat, then they will be remembered as fools who chose their own path of suicidal stupidity in an effort to help protect a planet, armed only with transports, and a plan with only the slightest chance of success. From what I understand from a little reading about human history, Fools who rush in to protect the lives or to try to change impossible odds are often remembered as heroes among those who survive conflict, it matters not if they succeed, nor if they lose, it is how they act as they charge in first in the face of death itself that leads to their heroism, rather than how successful they actually are.>

<… ok I see what you mean, now I am too. Such stupid monkeys.>

<Humaniti are weird, and often stupid. But sometimes they do things that even impress us, I somehow get the feeling that this will be one of these times.>

<You mean like Ensign Jardin, a DC crewman turned diplomat turned alliance broker?>

<I wonder if we who witness this event will be impressed beyond even HIS levels of achievement.>

<I must admit it will be impressive if they can even take down one ship with this idea of theirs, I swear it looks stupidly suicidal.>

<It all depends which one of us they pick as being the tasty vulnerable bait, the slow transports or the warships which are trying to protect them.>

I'll be honest, I always figured the repetitive nature of the communication we get to see on screen was a relic of their translation capacity, rather than being inherent in their method of speech. Translating from one race to another is always difficult, even among humans, after all, the Inuit have lots of words to describe the snow and ice in the world around them, while in English we either have scientific terminology, or literally the words snow and ice to explain the same thing.
Then again; Farmers can look at a paddock and make a number of decisions about their pasture, including when next to make it available for grazing, while a person from the city (with a completely different experience set) would see it is full of grass, and as such translating what we know from one place to another is difficult enough between people with the SAME language at times. Fortunately if you speak the same language, redundant comments can typically be eliminated, so while I can defend my position on Umiak speech using [key phrases] regularly by harnessing the stack system while talking somewhat normally otherwise, I would prefer to state that I write them as best as I can, without inducing headaches and being frustratingly repetitive.

[ed_montague]

Eh, I think I see your point. 'Tis your story.

This may be somewhat unrelated to fanfic, but does Ensign Jardin remind anyone of Gully Foyle from the book The Stars My Destination? Apart from the whole "chaotic neutral vengeful anti-hero" business that Foyle pulls off, Jardin seems to resemble the character.

Maybe it's just my teachers and their damn Socratic seminars conditioning me to make far-fetched connections, but I think I see a resemblance. Am I the only one?

[Fotiadis_110]

SpoilerShow

“Captain, Phase two has proven fully successful among our warships”

“Peter, it is time to send out the message to deploy as many crew into escape pods as are willing, there is no reason for us to sacrifice any more lives than we have to, make sure of course they have some provisions to keep them going till we can afford to pick them up, paste rations should suffice”

“In progress, burst signal in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, gone. I must admit Rodgers I doubt many will be willing to miss out on this fun, particularly for paste rations”

“That may be true Peter, but lets try and keep our sacrifices for this war as low as possible”

“Ready phase three, in a few minutes we will be at the far end of Umiak weapons range according to our information, lets be ready to give these bugs a real surprise.”

“Random Walker system coming online, all green, inertiatics reporting nominal, reports from engineering are asking when they can open the restrictors on the engines, and the guys in the point defence turret controls are getting itchy trigger fingers apparently.”

“Let the guys in the laser turrets have a blast or two, lets mislead the bugs into thinking we are acting as point defence, doing a open weapons test, should make them a little more reluctant to waste those missiles of theirs”

“Are you sure that is a good idea?”

“I’ve seen three other freighters do it already since they received the burst transmission, either because of itchy fingers or for the reason I just suggested probably, so we might as well let our guys have some fireworks. Either way plot our course in that combat, I know that those opponents are already started random walking in anticipation of the opening volleys of the Loroi, but try to get us as close as we need to be.”

“Working on it now, sir. Simon, can you give me a hand?”

“Of course sir.”

__________________

Spoiler:

SpoilerShow

Following the battle of ███████ in which transports were used as unassuming ships in combat, Loroi commanders were re-taught the value of utilising apparently worthless ships in new ways against the opponent who would typically focus their fire on either easy kills or their valuable warships which could contribute to combat.
In one notable incident, a Loroi Lashet altered their place of combat to surround a small cluster of transports when faced by a superior opponent, this battle resulted in the destruction of the Umiak forces in the area after the transports shed their cargo bays through well placed cutting charges, and deployed a mass of Tolot blisters previously stored at the system starbase, these weapons obliterated half a dozen Umiak destroyers, shattering up the core of their offensive force allowing the Loroi to hunt down the fragmented forces which remained.
Other conflicts pointed out that weak non-combat warships are often favoured targets of the Umiak, however even the best commanders agree that having such ships as distracting targets that can help protect and save the lives of Loroi warships through attracting fire from more valuable ships.
Very few transport commanders are however willing to serve in combat for this same reason, despite those who survive and succeed being well rewarded.

[ed_montague]

God bless you for posting here. I thought this thread was gonna die.

I'll post something within the week.

[Fotiadis_110]

creativity sometimes can be slow to complete the task.

Just like spoilers can reveal almost nothing, yet still be considered spoilers :p

And if you WANT to post your writings, just do it

As for the rest of you lurkers, I know you are out there, I monitor the number of views, if you like our creations POST YOUR SUPPORT ALREADY!

[ed_montague]

Not just creativity; also exams. Those put a serious damper on my posting.

I'd like to write some Discworld fanfic too, but I'll probably have to post it on another site (Discworld not being the topic of discussion here, although the migration of discussed topics continues to amaze me).

[Fotiadis_110]

Hmm, if it is the topic you are concerned about, try the Distraction thread: any distraction is fully on topic, and besides, I am curious about ALL of your writing, it is pretty good ^_^. (also discword ftw)

I dunno if I could use the same descriptor myself, but at least I think I know how to weave a story.
Probably overdone the suspense by now, but I already have the skeleton plan for the next two episodes, but now I have to work out how to write them XD

I might merge them, but I don't think I have to.

[ed_montague]

Right. I've got several things planned.

Thing one is an overhaul of the main post. I intend to include Fotiadis' stories and add titles to mine.

Thing two is adding a few more segments that are bouncing around in my head but haven't been given the chance to be written down yet.

I'll be away for the weekend, so the chance of either things being accomplished is next to nil.

[Michael]

creativity sometimes can be slow to complete the task.

Just like spoilers can reveal almost nothing, yet still be considered spoilers :p

And if you WANT to post your writings, just do it

As for the rest of you lurkers, I know you are out there, I monitor the number of views, if you like our creations POST YOUR SUPPORT ALREADY!

NEVER! i'll never say how good it is to read the writings of some very imaginative writers and that when i log into the forums this is the first place i check!...wait, i just did ... seriously though its great to come on here and read though these little stories, they are a great way of tiding myself over in waiting for the.....you know, that thing we're all waiting for?

[Fotiadis_110]

Did I not say that reviews, comments and support might tease us to produce more writing?

SpoilerShow

“Captain, Phase two has proven fully successful among our warships”

“Peter, it is time to send out the message to deploy as many crew into escape pods as are willing, there is no reason for us to sacrifice any more lives than we have to, make sure of course they have some provisions to keep them going till we can afford to pick them up, paste rations should suffice”

“In progress, burst signal in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, gone. I must admit Rodgers I doubt many will be willing to miss out on this fun, particularly for paste rations”

“That may be true Peter, but lets try and keep our sacrifices for this war as low as possible”

“Ready phase three, in a few minutes we will be at the far end of Umiak weapons range according to our information, lets be ready to give these bugs a real surprise.”

“Random Walker system coming online, all green, inertiatics reporting nominal, reports from engineering are asking when they can open the restrictors on the engines, and the guys in the point defence turret controls are getting itchy trigger fingers apparently.”

“Let the guys in the laser turrets have a blast or two, lets mislead the bugs into thinking we are acting as point defence, doing a open weapons test, should make them a little more reluctant to waste those missiles of theirs”

“Are you sure that is a good idea?”

“I’ve seen three other freighters do it already since they received the burst transmission, either because of itchy fingers or for the reason I just suggested probably, so we might as well let our guys have some fireworks. Either way plot our course in that combat, I know that those opponents are already started random walking in anticipation of the opening volleys of the Loroi, but try to get us as close as we need to be.”

“Working on it now, sir. Simon, can you give me a hand?”

“Of course sir.”

__________________________

(The following Umiak conversations were extracted from translated blackbox recording stored in a highly confidential archive, and should not be shared with anyone not of Diamond clearance unless given proper authority to give limited access to Diamond clearance material)

[The transports] are acting oddly [captain]

We stay on [the course] planned by the [commander] for that is our task.

[The warships] continue to evade and dodge, their early shots serve to scatter us. Yet [the transports] keep coming. They will be very near [our fleet] as they pass.

Look Helm, [the transports] are warming up their [point defence] they plan to shield [the warships] from [torpedos], [torpedos] we aren’t going to use because [commander] decreed them needless.

[The transports] just worry me sir, they are many, many enough [our fleet] have lost numeric superiority.

We stay on [the course], Helm, as is our duty.

[ed_montague]

I swear I'm gonna write something, but I've got a test to study for. Renovated the front page, anyhow.

[a_wanderer]

Just so you know, I'm enjoying this! (Well, you asked for encouragement.)

[ed_montague]

Yay, thanks. Just finished exams the other day, expect more writing to follow on Monday.