Chapter Sixteen: Awake - Part 4
“I take it you’ve also never met a farseer?” Alex asks her out loud.
Beryl frowns, remembering Tempo’s admonition to avoid sanzai until the farseer approves it. “No. Normally, Tempo and a select few of the teidar are the only ones allowed to do so on the Tempest.”
“Has Fireblade seen her?”
“I’m not sure which teidar have done so.”
“Fireblade has not,” Dream says.
“You can speak out loud? Fireblade never did,” Alex asks.
“Dealing with the farseer calls for it. And I would be very surprised if Fireblade has seen a farseer. Her sanzai is very strong but very uncontrolled.”
“Uncontrolled sounds like Alex,” Beryl voices the same worry as she had when Tempo told her what to expect.
“True. But farseers can deal with that temporarily. Asking farseers to endure it long-term is a different matter.”
“Why do farseers speak to teidar then? Aren’t those the loroi with the most powerful sanzai as well?” Alex asks.
“Farseers are more powerful. There is a concern that the farseer might injure the listener accidentally otherwise.”
“Wait. I’m not trained in any of this. What if she accidentally injures me?”
“I will be relaying the farseer’s words. She will not be speaking directly to either of you. However, let us know if you experience a headache. Her focus on you might be uncomfortable, though she has very good control over it. Usually.”
“You told them not to poke the guinea pig too hard?” he asks Beryl as she catches a brief spark of surprise. Well, we had not told him about directing sanzai yet.
“This is safe, right?” Beryl asks Dream.
“As safe as can be. You are a warrior who willingly stepped into a war, so I would think you were prepared for a certain level of risk,” Dream says to Alex.
“I understand risk,” he replies. “But I’d rather not take foolhardy ones.”
“With the precautions we are taking, this conversation will be safe. After that, you might have to decide how much risk you are willing to take for your goals.”
“After that?” he asks.
“Starcry is unsure if she will be able to learn how to pierce the lotai without sanzai contact with either Alex or Beryl. At least, more unsure - there is little certainty about this whole experiment. I hope it will not be needed,” Dream explains. “But those are not decisions needed now.”
He looks like he is going to argue, then glances at Beryl and shrugs. “I understand. We will discuss this if it comes up.”
“Good. We have arrived,” Dream announces as she stops in front of a door. She presses a button. After a second, a green light glows and Dream sends, “Starcry, I have brought the human ambassador, Alexander Jardin, and his loroi caretaker, Beryl.” The door slides smoothly into the ceiling, revealing a comfortable looking living area, where a loroi with long blue hair sits in a chair. She leans forward and looks at Alex.
“She says that she is glad to finally see you with her physical eyes, after so long of you being a void on her station and then only being sensed mentally,” Dream says. “Now she understands the whisperings that have been going on among the warriors on board.”
“Nothing too bad, I hope,” Alex replies.
“There is a lively debate on what it would be like to relieve a human male of his needs if it were required. The populace is fairly split on whether… really, Starcry?” Dream says, blushing. “I apologize. Part of her duties is monitoring the mental wellbeing of the crew of the station. I had not heard this gossip about human males. Do they truly suffer the flames like loroi males do?”
“They do not,” Beryl informs her. “At least, Alex claims that they do not.”
“He has not with any of your companions?” Dream asks.
“You are speaking in front of me. And no, I have not,” Alex says. “Could we stop discussing theoretical physical needs that I am glad not to have?”
Starcry chuckles, and then Dream speaks. “Starcry has been informed of Beryl’s dreams about you.”
“We are not sure how reliable they are,” Beryl explains as she feels another pang of fear from Alex.
“Hmm... perhaps they are a curious side effect of interacting with a human than a depiction of his life? Starcry was wondering if Alex had any dreams at all?”
“I have been having bad dreams,” Alex says uneasily. “They don't sound like what Beryl was dreaming. I don’t think they are relevant though.”
“Could you describe them briefly?”
“I’m also curious,” Beryl echoes, curious about the feelings of fear Alex has been revealing.
“They always start on a ship. Sometimes it’s the Bellarmine, others the Tempest, or the Highland-Seven, or the Prophet’s Reason. I’m always with some of the human crew and the loroi that I know. Then, something goes wrong and everyone dies, except for me.” He shivers. Beryl frowns, unsure if she is unhappy that he is not sharing the dream she is having or because he is suffering from other nightmares.
“Those seem more like dreams you should discuss with a therapist. While she is not familiar with the details of human psychology, Starcry offers to listen and discuss if you desire. Or you can speak to one of the other therapists on board,” Dream offers.
“I’m fine,” Alex insists. “Let’s move on for now.”
“Ok, we can come back to this later if you’d like. Do you understand how the lotai you were under works? Have you been able to reproduce it after it has dropped?”
“I didn’t even know there was such a thing until the loroi told me about it. Are you sure the lotai is a property of humanity?”
“I think the fact that you have sanzai shows that either humans are conditioned to generate a lotai, probably without realizing it,” Dream pauses for several seconds then continues, “the alternative is that the creators of the loroi suppressed human’s mental abilities sometime in their past, but your exposure to sanzai has undone that block somehow.” Dream shrugs. “Neither of us thinks it really matters, other than to some obscure loroi academics and the barsam.”
“Great, that doesn’t sound like a mess for humanity and the loroi going forward.”
“Yes, but that would be something in the future, after the present war is concluded. Agreed?”
“Agreed. Wait – you think humans who encounter loroi will eventually develop sanzai?” At her nod, he frowns. “Does that mean meeting with me would act the same way?”
“I believe so, though it might require some effort on the part of you or the loroi. I imagine every loroi on the Tempest who could get close enough was trying to sense you, which would either trigger or accelerate the expression of your sanzai. Is there an issue?”
“Humanity is… there will need to be a lot of adjustments to human society to deal with the transparency that sanzai seems to come with. I am not sure what will happen even if humans can generate a lotai – this might complicate negotiations. It might take a long time for humanity to adjust.”
“We should be able to gather more information in subsequent contacts with humanity,” Dream says after a long silence. “The loroi are sensitive to the effects of sanzai abilities to disrupt another society. It may be impossible to fully avoid problems but we will make every effort to be accommodating.”
“I thank you, though I hope I am just being overly worried.”
“I do not believe you are,” Beryl says. “From my discussions with you and the loroi study of other species governments, you are correct that humanity will likely require a large period of adjustment. I wish I could say it will be easy.”
“I would like you to try to generate a lotai while I attempt to read your thoughts,” Dream says.
“Do you have any advice on how to do that?” Alex asks. "And should I even be trying to learn how to do so?"
"While anyone who is under a lotai will not be trusted by the loroi, it is easy enough to determine. If you can generate one, you should not stay under a lotai other than for this testing," Beryl cautions.
Dream nods. “Traditionally, teidar are taught to believe that anyone they need to shield themselves from is an enemy. This sense of danger seems to assist in the creation of mental shields. Hopefully this process is close enough to generate a lotai in humans.”
“Enemies? But I do not hate you.”
“The teidar are taught that every sanzai contact is a chance to test themselves since each mental contact is an opening for attack. They do not speak out loud because doing so would show they either view contacting the individual mentally as an active threat or that they lack confidence in their own mental abilities. The former leads to open hostility, while almost all teidar are trained so that the latter is unthinkable against all but the most overpowering of foes.”
“That is why Fireblade does not speak aloud?”
“Yes. For a teidar having to speak is usually either an act of war or an acknowledgement of personal failure, so they are loath to do either. Many loroi are not comfortable with spoken language even though they are required for radio communications and data logs.”
“I understand. So, I do not have to hate you to shield myself, I just have to view it as a test?”
“Yes. A test to try to keep the sense of yourself separate from others. Are you ready to try?”
Alex nods and closes his eyes to focus.
Several grueling hours later, even Starcry is having doubts about her plan. Even after Alex found a reliable way to generate the lotai, none of them had been able to sense so much as the faintest flicker, including when they are touching him. Both Dream and Starcry were somewhat more successful when they had Beryl engage him in verbal conversation on any topic, and this went up dramatically when they themselves engaged him in discussion.
“It seems that you have difficulty when you have to interact with someone in a friendly manner,” Starcry says. “Maybe that mentally primes you that someone is trustworthy, though that might just be a failure in the training we have provided. But I do not feel like I am getting any closer to sensing the lotai – it is like trying to see the air in front of me.”
“And I take it you can’t rely on the umiak ever forgetting that the loroi are their enemy.”
“No,” Starcry sighs. “While this session was useful, I think we’ll need to have more sessions in the future. Is that acceptable to you?”
“Yes, that is fine.”
“Very well. I assume you do not wish to discuss your dreams with me?”
“No,” Alex admits with another feeling of guilt. “I’m sorry.”
“Ok. I urge you to find someone you trust to discuss them with. A burden shared is a burdened lessened.” Alex nods as they are led out by Dream.
“I hope you found this experience not too unpleasant,” Dream sends as she escorts them back.
“It was tiring but not too bad.” Alex sounds surprised to feel that way. “I’m not sure what I was expecting. I hope she can figure something out soon though, since I am totally in over my head.”
“Do not worry. Sunfury is aware of your assistance, and will be made aware of how helpful you have been. There is one other matter though.”
“Oh?” Alex asks, suddenly a little nervous from picking up the serious tone. “Did I screw something up?”
“Only in the past. I am returning your data pad,” suiting action to words, she removes it from a side pocket and hands it to Alex, who takes it gingerly.
“Thank you. Has it been wiped?”
“The data is intact. Gallen lopeiladi Fairmeadow was able to scan it. She has confirmed that the historian construct on it deleted itself to avoid detection, so the decision has been made to return the device to you, after ensuring it cannot interface with any loroi network. I hope you understand our concerns and appreciate the trust we are showing to you.”
“I do,” Alex says formally and sincerely. “Thank you.”
“Please do not have any other issues with it. If you do, I am going to make you listen to Fairmeadow’s lecture on information security while she deals with the issue. She is very skilled, but can go on for a very long time. In detail. Especially since I foolishly mentioned that you were a male, so she assumed I was at fault for given a male something that could be a risk to the loroi data networks.”
Beryl coughs to stifle a laugh, then explains carefully, “some loroi warriors are of the view that males can only be trusted with mating duties, and then only if they are lead directly to the female they should mate with. I take it Fairmeadow is one such?”
“I’m not sure if she views it that way, or just that she tolerates loroi warriors having data devices because we need them for our duties but does not trust anyone else to maintain them to her high standards.”