Well of Souls Forums

*curls up in fetal position and begins to suck his thumb* No. I'm not going to do that anymore. I will indicate sanzai in the text with "he/she sent", but adding a million [ i ] and [ /i ] pairs went out the window after I copied all of my stories to a phone (not from the edit window and thus losin...

which I may have missed from skipping dialogue to reach the 'plot point' of some past chapters. If you do that, I was a bit confused over whether Emberwing was having an telepathic experience while talking to Alex and she was describing it or if she was speaking of past ones... Then this is the nor...

Fireblade confronts Dio.

Dio: "Oh, you're approaching me?"
*Suddenly, he bursts out in flames and gets rammed through a building*

Fireblade: I don't even need to get close to beat the crap out of you!

Done. I hope. Awaiting your verdict. I'm honored by the trust you placed in me. No idea whether it's justified, but here I go. 1. You should differentiate speech and sanzai. Why not make the latter cursive ? 2. The intermissions did make it better. However, the whole exchange with Kasham is still a...

I see. That helps a lot. It's hard to correct something if nobody tells you what to correct. :) Next chapter won't see many lengthy monologues, but it will contain a lot of scene switches. I'll try to do those in a different way as well. Monologues do have their appeal, and may play an important pa...

The identity of the person who speaks is mentioned in the paragraph/block/line The paragraphs of lengthy statements by a single person have been added together. No more empty lines in between. This helps a lot. But the main issue are these monologues. ... "War happened." Kasham answered. "It's alwa...

The chapter below is -as usual- 100 percent canon and 100 percent serious. It also reveals Meow's purpose, which is completely credible and not over the top at all. More like -300% canon, but at least it's funny. There's the same problem as with the last chapter, though. The formatting is utterly c...

G. Janssen wrote: ↑

Thu Oct 27, 2022 7:17 pm

I'd go with "origeller". "Ori" would mean spoon and "geller" would mean bender.

No, Geller is a wholly different application. Oh, by the way, could you deactivate it for a moment? I want to tell you something.

If someone is indeed feeding these dreams to Emberwing, including the latest one of the minnir, then perhaps there is a bit of foreshadowing of things to come. Perhaps the undiscovered inhabitants have prophesized their eventual return to the heavens. The Loroi are not terribly creative, very strai...

@gigachad and @cthulhu Thank you guys for your reviews and support. :D According to lore in the forums, I believe Greywind’s mother was working with the Emperor, thus giving her some special rights. But Rainlash does not look at her daughter like her little princess. I meant princess in the traditi...

There's no specific traditional Loroi term for "firstborn," as even in hereditary systems, being the oldest child was not usually considered anything special. Heirs were designated or had to go through some kind of competition (even if that competition was simply whichever one of them survived soro...

The terminal event for a Loroi is when (between age 300-400) her immune and regenerative systems crash; her body starts to decompose. Why do those systems crash? Is it "planned obsolescence", or an error which was carried over from their template (and the Soia didn't bother to fix it)? Maybe there ...

Chapter XXXXII: A clash of legends Emberwing immediately suppressed her emotions, or, at least any outward expressions of such. After all, the Humans were most probably trying to analyze them with those AI systems. Then, she recalled her dreams, but there weren’t any hints regarding their mysteriou...

Yeah, I'm back! :mrgreen: Quality over quantity. Just curious. What kind of writing are you aiming for? It is not so much about comedy mixed with a bit of drama here like with another fanfic I like. This is just my opinion, but I think what you excel in you should highlight, and what you are still l...

All good things must come to an end, sadly.

Gray's mother was truly a big-shot, rescuing her little princess just like that.

Three more words, please: 1. Firstborn (especially if there is an archaic term) 2. Designated heir/crown princess/successor (since there were monarchies as well, could there have been an actual title for that?) 3. If there's "heaven", sizet , how about the opposite? Are such words a forgotten concep...

Well, at this pace, Tempo doesn't even need to order Beryl to seduce her Human "liaison officer". Just a minor nitpick, sanzai is inherently truthful, so many of those "romantic misunderstanding" tropes won't work quite the same way as with speech. Beryl would need to be in serious denial, and the o...

@Cthulhu Ancient Deinar or Umiak recovery! I’m officially torn. Though I think it’s about time someone told the story from the Shells’ point of view. The Deinar one needs the history article Arioch had promised some time ago. However, I'd rather have him focus on the comic. As to the Hierarchy one,...

Credit where credit is due review: You are able to write interesting descriptions as well as action sequences. Arguably the most entertaining part of the chapter was the gradual revelation of what the massive sphere was. Also... the early battle in the first few chapters had good enough description...

GeoModder wrote: ↑

Mon Oct 10, 2022 9:34 am

Was the Union Assembly crest choosen by the founding members? (IIRC the Barsam and Pipolsid nations).

Judging by the tentacles, mostly the Pipolsid.