[Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Completed: 06/04/2018)

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Razor One
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 12/11/2016)

Post by Razor One »

Since I recognise Durabys from another forum **waves at Durabys** I'm reasonably certain that his comment was in jest rather than any serious threat.

I do agree that killing off Beryl or Tempo would be rather galling though.
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 12/11/2016)

Post by Absalom »

Durabys wrote:
Krulle wrote:
Durabys wrote:If you kill Beryl and Tempo in this I am going murder you across the internet! :evil:
Well, I would strongly advise you to not do so.
For one, this would be illegal, and I'll make sure the authorities will find you.
Second, he's my current favourite fan fiction author, and comforting me over my "no new Outsider page" time right now. I would kill you over the 'Nets for that.
Thirds, I do not want to be an avenger. Please do not make me be one.
And some people have the sense of humor of a piece of rock. News at eleven!

Still, fuck him if he kills Beryl and Tempo.
"through my monitor" might be a bit clearer than "across the internet", but I suspect that Krulle got your point, and responded in kind...

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 12/11/2016)

Post by Durabys »

Razor One wrote:Since I recognise Durabys from another forum **waves at Durabys** I'm reasonably certain that his comment was in jest rather than any serious threat.

I do agree that killing off Beryl or Tempo would be rather galling though.
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 12/11/2016)

Post by Krulle »

It was as much in jest as the original comment.
I agree, killing Beryl would kill the story.
But still, killing my favourite fan-fic author (currently I only read <i>Outsider</i> fan fics) over the nets would make me wonder if I could do the same to the perpetrator....

Yes, this is in fun. I do not want to spend the time needed to learn that kind of hax0r skillz.
With kids I do not have the time.
Besides, when you achieve that feat, I would be suitable impressed of your skills to use non-lethal hardware to kill soneone. I guess you'd be so far above my level, that I wouldn't even be able to find your IP's IP-address range without getting flagged and causing a trigger to get me killed....


Nope, I would not have assumed anyone making a murder "threat" and mentioning to do it over the network and be serious about it.
Except for real dummies, and someone intending to cause your virtual life death (finding accounts of you and "killing" those-but the"threat" formulation was wrong for that).


It was in jest, and I tried to respond that way, and I assume you responded again in that kind.
This stone is smiling.

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Chapter 4, part 3

The next transition was also a short one, bringing them amidst what looked like a fierce firefight. A dozen or so armored Barsam were defending a choke point in the middle of a long ,familiar looking, corridor.

“Where are we?”
Stillstorm asked as she studied the Barsam who seemed to have wings of ‘light’ sprouting from their backs and legs but the light didn’t actually glow; it was a weird and eerie sight to witness but the wings seemed to make them float just above the ground as they quickly flew from cover to cover, firing green beams from a weapon that looked like an extension of their armor. She turned to look at their targets but she could barely see anything, only vague silhouettes that seemed to dance in and out of existence. The armor of the Barsam seemed to be identical to the alien’s armor in the way it functioned, its surface seemed to ‘flow’ like water and reform itself whenever the Barsam were moving, always offering a thicker front to where the enemy was located.

“We are 50 tozons after the birth you just witnessed, aboard the Dreadstar where the first revolt happened.” The alien replied.
A green beam hit one of the Barsam and an energy field flickered briefly as it absorbed it, a solon later an invisible force took hold of the Barsam, forcefully made it float in the air before crushing it into a big ball of blue flesh, bone and liquid metal.

“What was that?”
She asked again.

“Telekinesis…”
Palan Fireblade replied but her mind betrayed her uncertainty about something.

“Do they have a Lotai?” Parat Tempo asked. “Or are we unable to sense non telepaths from the past?”

“The Soians saw fit to equip the Barsam guarding their Dreadstars with tech level 14 equipment after the first revolt proved the ineffectiveness of tech level 12 equipment against ascendants, even with the extreme numbers of Barsam that the Soians were willing to sacrifice. Their ‘new’ equipment was a smart material armor that could form an artificial lotai device, bio matter disintegrator lances, personal forcefields, personal anti-grav jetpacks and other minor equipment. A squad of Barsam with this equipment would easily outmatch 10.000 shell hardtroops if they were pitted against each other.” The alien replied.

“An artificial lotai device?” Is this how the shells are hiding from us?” Stillstorm asked.

“The shells don’t have the technology necessary to create such a device, their trick is different and you will discover it soon after this foray into the past comes to an end.” The alien replied.

“If they have a lotai then how was this one killed?" Para Tempo asked. "One would have to know its precise position to kill it like that.”

“I think… that I can sense their weapons and armor… it’s odd, it’s not like telepathy…” Fireblade broadcasted.

“Very good.”
The alien commented. “Their weapons and their personal forcefields tap into the dimensions that form the basis of several ascendant abilities. Forcefields in particular are a form of crude artificial telekinesis. Easy to pinpoint for one who can now naturally sense telekinesis like you are able to do now. Your sensing is still crude and unrefined but you should be able to sense the wake of their equipment. With time you will be able to freely sense natural telekinesis as well as the feedback of yours.”

“Sensing telekinesis is a very taxing conscious effort, one can’t just sense it in such a way.” Parat Tempo pointed out.

“Consider this a small proof of your kind’s failures, telekinesis is very much like telepathy; if you are able to use it then you should be able to sense it and feel the feedback. The fail safes installed partially cut this ability away from you but with sheer concentration you can overcome it. If your kind had pushed said fail safe to the breaking point for a few generations then it would have grown inert, much like all the other fail safes that your kind has learned to work with, instead of trying to break them. Locking the very memories of their use in your legendary sagas, as if they were a child’s tale and not the very heritage that you should have striven to surpass.” The alien sent angrily and derisively, the Mizol wanted to rebuke him but elected to not press that point, choosing to ask an obvious question. “And Fireblade can now perceive all this?”

“Yes.”

“The modifications required for this must be extensive. It’s like the introduction of another sense.” Beryl interjected.

“Not really. The fail safes don’t mutilate your form; they severely limit and hide your true potential. We perceive you as forcefully limited and downright misshapen existences that are content to be just that. You have the potential to fully unsheathe yourselves and reach the natural human abilities we had before the Soians took them away. Lesser than what we are now after the extensive upgrades we went through but still a form that we would consider truly ascendant. You act like novice warriors who still elect to fight with knives instead of striving to discover the ways of the gun and cannon.” His derision continued but he pushed it away before nodding to the Barsam who were dying one after the other. “These fools thought that they were making their last stand, they hoped that they would take just a few of the murderous monsters with them before they died. The truth was that they were simply toyed with.”

“Toyed with? They have weapons and equipment that would allow them to best thousands of hardtroops, you just told us that. How can they be really be toyed with?” Stillstorm pointed out.

“Easily… The game is very simple, one has to telekinetically manipulate their disintegrator lances while in cover, aiming to hit a Barsam. The referee overseeing the ‘match’ kills the Barsam right after it is hit and awards a point to the one that scored said hit. The ones lagging behind in the score are the bait to draw the Barsam out of cover. The last Barsam standing is worth four points. The victor gets to mate with a certain highly desired male.”

“How can you know all that if you can’t sense their thoughts properly?” Parat Tempo asked.

“You will know soon enough, just observe for now.”

The game, if that was what it was, continued for quite some time as the greenish beams were fired back and forth while the Barsam were shifting positions rapidly by levitation, their legs or with all fours if they had to. True to his word a Barsam was only crushed to death only after its shield stopped a green beam from hitting them. Soon there were only three Barsam left and it was then that Loroi sounding shrieks and jeering were first heard from down the corridor.

“What’s going on? I didn’t notice anything getting hit down there.” Stillstorm asked.

“Wait and see, the game is almost over.”

One more Barsam was hit and crushed in quick order but the jeering from down the corridor became louder and unceasing, while the weapon’s fire seemed to have stopped. The two Barsam used the lull to get behind cover but one of them was hit on the shoulder mere moments after it did so and was crushed almost instantly. The moment that was done the jeering turned into unceasing laughter and booing before a lone levitating warrior appeared down the corridor, quickly approaching the Barsam position. The lone remaining Barsam made to stand up and aim its weapon but it was stopped in mid motion and had its left arm ripped off its socket telekinetically, if Stillstorm was to be a judge.

“Someone is a sore loser, despite the fact that her only hope was the last moment upset.” The alien broadcasted as the fully armored warrior reached the hapless Barsam that was now kept in the air telekinetically. The wings of light at her back and legs fluttered slightly as she came to a stop in front of the floating Barsam that couldn’t do anything anymore. She extended her arms to her sides as if she was preparing to embrace the Barsam, however it immediately became apparent that this wasn’t her intention. Parts of her armor turned into silvery liquid that floated down her arms and onto her hands, there the liquid started floating just above her palms in two silvery balls that quickly took the shape of a long cutting knife and a spiky club, both weapons falling onto her waiting palms when they were fully formed only to begin floating and moving on their own.

The warrior then tilted her head slightly as the club seemingly swung itself against the bleeding Barsam, it’s armor realigning itself to take the hit only to live other areas exposed for the knife to stab and cut with a supernatural speed before the armor could protect its wearer.

“A really nasty sore loser!” The alien sent again as they stared at the butchery that was unfolding in front of them, the Barsam tried to remain silent through all that; with only pained muffles leaving its mouth as it was being repeatedly stabbed and cut.

“Won’t the others stop her?” Beryl asked, having turned her gaze away from the grim spectacle; only to jump up when the Barsam first let out a scream of pain.

“Why should they? It was fun teasing the pretentious loser that was two hits away from stealing the win but they held no ill will towards her, they understand her anger and they have better places to be now that the Porei gamble on assaulting the Dreadstar had paid off.” The alien explained.

“It is not right.” The Tozet replied, drawing agreement from even Stillstorm. An honorable enemy warrior should just be killed quickly, not be butchered in such a way.

“Maybe for you but not for someone who was born only for vengeful killing. Vengeance is the sole reason of why they came to be and they will make sure that it is carried to the fullest.” Their location changed again, away from the gruesome sight and the screaming. They found themselves floating in space with a planet a distance in front of them. No it wasn’t a planet, it was obviously artificial! A Dreadstar!

“So that’s a Dreadstar?” Stillstorm asked as she observed it. It’s surface bore some obvious damage which were like superficial scarring to the massive and menacing starship.

“Indeed, that’s a Soian Dreadstar, this one is about the size of Deinar and could easily be crewed by dozens of billions if it was so required. The Soians never had the numbers to fully crew even two of their Dreadstars by themselves so a lot of its functions were left to some very sophisticated automated systems. This Dreadstar here was the industrial and administrative center of the whole local bubble before the first revolt.” The Alien replied.

“You said earlier that this Dreadstar was incapacitated due to the damage inflicted on it during the first revolt.” Stillstorm pointed out

“Indeed. Of the more than four billion Soians aboard at the time of the first revolt more than half perished from the repeated combined shouts of the human males that were cast throughout it. In turn several key administration and industrial centers were damaged and destroyed in the ensuing fighting. The loss of life and the damage inflicted were enough for the Soians to temporary retire the Dreadstar from its official duties so it could be repair itself. About ten million Soians were left aboard to facilitate the repairs with the rest scattered on the seven remaining Dreadstars that now had to fill the gap that was left. It was estimated that the repairs would require several centuries and would require the full remaining industrial output of the Dreadstar before it could resume its duties, the Porei managed to high jack it when the repairs were about three quarters done.”

“How did the Porei high jacked it? It would require a whole fleet and hundreds of thousands of boarders.” Stillstorm asked.

“It was a long and arduous effort which required a lot of sacrifices and dangerous gambles. Suffice to say that all of the human females kept giving birth for more than fifty tozons and they had become quite the capable pirates while doing so. The idea of capturing this Dreadstar wasn’t theirs but one of their firstborn daughters.”

“Were all the Porei telekinetics?” Tozet Beryl asked out of turn, momentarily drawing Stillstorm’s ire.

“Yes they were, all of their firstborn sons and daughters had their full ascendant potential available, the fail safes making the subsequent generations weaker and weaker. The sixth and seventh generations were the ones where the fail safes brought them to your level.” The Alien replied.

“How many were alive at this point?”


“In total? About two hundred thousand dispersed aboard 348 ships of varying sizes and abilities.”

“If every human female gave birth every tozon then there should be about one hundred thousand alive at this point.” Beryl pointed out.

“There were about eighty thousand firstborn alive when the assault begun, of those about twelve thousand perished in the assault and the five nanapis of fighting it took to fully secure the Dreadstar. The remaining one hundred and twenty thousand were second and third generation Porei, weaker than the firstborn but still significantly stronger than you.” He replied and turned his gaze at Stillstorm. “Now tell me Lashret Stillstorm. What would your response be to this development if you were the Soian Commander in Chief?”

“I would immediately amass all available strength to either capture or destroy all hijacked assets. An overwhelming and resolute retaliation, nothing less than that would be acceptable.” She replied without needing to think about it.

“The correct course of action and anyone with a warrior’s mettle would give the exact same answer; this wasn’t what the Soians elected to do however, can you think of a reason as to why?” The alien asked.

“No.” The very idea of not immediately retaliating just made her mind recoil.

“Parat Tempo, your thoughts?”

“If they wanted to maintain the loyalty of all their subjects they would have to be swift, brutal and resolute. I agree with my Lashret.” It was rare for the Mizol to agree so quickly and readily with her; the thinking behind her agreement was through her caste’s prerogative but it was something that a leader would have to consider as well after such a disaster. The alien then looked at Pallan Fireblade for a quick moment before his attention rested onto the Listel.

“What do you think Tozet Beryl?”


“At first I would agree with the Torrai Lashret and the Mizol Parat but after some thinking I have my reservations. We Loroi always thought that the Soians used their Dreadstars mainly for war, with policing and administrative duties being secondary to war fighting. Few have theorized that they were used as the industrial centers of the Empire as well but not to the detriment of their warfighting potential. What you have shown and told us so far makes it clear that the Dreadstars served as the primary administrative and industrial centers of the Empire and as such the Soians would have extreme reservations in moving such assets away from their primary duties. The consequences of focusing both the administrative and industrial cores of the Empire elsewhere, even for a little while, would certainly be catastrophic for the large swathes of their territory that they covered.” The Tozet explained. The concept was easy to understand but still couldn’t compare to the fact that a lethal danger to the Soian Empire has appeared and had to be hunted down and destroyed as swiftly as possible.

“And that was the reasoning behind the decision that brought forth the end of the Soians.” The alien announced. “It is a ridiculous line of thinking for any sentient; if the Soians still had the ability to feel anger, pride and fear they would have certainly taken the correct course of action but the Soians simply didn’t feel anything and just used simple calculative logic which led them to a false alternative.” He continued with clearly felt derision. “The Soian Dreadstars were indeed a very potent martial asset but they saw war-fighting as a tertiary use. When this Dreadstar was deemed inoperable after the first revolt the remaining seven had to fill the void it left which took them several tozons to accomplish. To send even a single Dreadstar after them would cause extensive damage to the order that had barely managed to return in their territories after the first revolt. A partial mobilization and entrusting the loyal Mizol with the task of finding and recapturing the Dreadstar was deemed adequate. For this purpose the Mizol were allowed to enhance their numbers and were given access to even more otherwise forbidden technologies. This was deemed more than enough to combat a pirate menace that didn’t even number half a million and couldn’t hope to fully man a Dreadstar to its full potential, even if they knew how.”

“Foolish…”
Stillstorm broadcasted without really thinking.

“Indeed, the Soians were exactly that kind of fools. They underestimated sentient tenacity every step of the way, even when said sentients had potent Ascendant abilities at their disposal.” The alien agreed. “They were such fools that they hadn’t allowed the Mizol to launch an extensive anti-piracy campaign into the wastelands for decades, seeing it as a horrid waste of resources for what was a mere nuisance to the grant scheme of things. Their foolishness became suicidal when they came to believe that the Porei passivity for the next two dozen tozons was due to the limited tactical successes of the Mizol and not because the Porei were preparing to unleash themselves against most of their territory. They underestimated the Porei every step on their way to extinction; your ancestors had learned how to fully exploit the Dreadstar through captive Pol and Soians, they had shifted its entire industrial output into war manufacturing and had exponentially increased their numbers both naturally and artificially now that they had both the safe unassailable habitat and the means to do just that.”

The force took them again for another trip, this time depositing them onto the surface of a planet, amidst what could only be described as a massacre.

“It only took twenty four tozons for the end result to become apparent. The Mizol were exterminated and the final days of the Soians were at hand.” All around them hundreds of fully armored warriors were flying around with their wings of light and were just sadistically butchering thousands of Mizols and Neridi of all ages at will. A small group near was gauging the eyes out of their victims with their armorer fingers before dropping them onto the ground to crawl away screaming in pain. Another group was slowly beheading their victims with short knives before tossing their heads onto a pile that was twice as tall as Fireblade. Further away a larger group had surrounded some Neridi… no they were Mizol males that were screaming in terror as they were castrated one after the other, their severed manhoods then sewn onto their mouths and eyes. Every sight and sound was revolting and enraging but the worst part was the enjoyment that the Porei seemed to take from their savagery.

“We are on Derro by the way. The Porei gave a very simple ultimatum to the Neridi. They would surrended every last Mizol on their world or they would suffer their fate. As you can see some Neridi actively disagreed and reaped their just dues.” The alien sent.

“This is barbarous butchery!”
Tozet Beryl finally pointed out.

“No, this is vengeance at its basest form.”

“This is not just!”

“Vengeance has nothing to do with being just.” He replied callously before continuing. “True to their word the Porei let the ones who did as they were told live, after bombarding everything that looked important as a matter of course. They were after all only interested in the Mizols and the Soians, the rest were inconsequential as long as they weren’t in their way. Unsurprisingly everyone in the local bubble and beyond quickly learned to fear and obey the Porei after their ravager fleets burst out of the Wastelands in droves. The most interesting of all were the Barsam who the Porei were more than prepared to exterminate in some very creative ways for the Soia puppets they were. The Barsam however had seen what was in store for them after witnessing what happened to those that merely slowed the Porei advance. They were terrified, especially after realizing that their masters wouldn’t arrive in time to save them. They proactively rounded up all the Mizol they could on their world and their neighboring systems and just offered them up as tribute to the Porei ravager fleet that arrived over their world. The Porei were of course surprised and amused at the sudden submissiveness of the Barsam and just bombarded them from orbit after taking care of the Mizols that were so easily given to them.”

“Cowards!”
Stillstorm spat.

“Pragmatists.” The alien corrected her. “They had no way of defending themselves from a ravager fleet. Their survival as a species is testament enough that they made the right decision.”

“Did this happen throughout the Soian domains?” Parat Tempo asked.

“In the local bubble and much of the rest of the Empire, the areas that weren’t hit by the ravage fleets collapsed into anarchy and recessed severely when the Soians themselves were wiped out.”

“The Soians let this happen unopposed?”


“The Soians were caught by complete surprise as they fully believed that the Porei threat had been contained and that it was only a matter of time before the Mizol, their favored creation, would secure the Dreadstar. The ravager offensive was very brief, extremely brutal and outright efficient in its purpose of violating everything that the Soians had created. By the time both the Mizol and the Soians realized the true extent of the attacks it was too late for the Mizol who still resided only in the local bubble.” The alien explained.

“What about the Soians? Didn’t they fight?”
Stillstorm asked.

“They did fight; in fact the brutal savagery of the ravagers forced them into martial action for the first time in one hundred millennia. All sever Dreadstars were to gather and coalesce into a unified force in order to find, overwhelm and destroy the rogue Dreadstar, the problem laid with their peace time positioning. Four Dreadstars were spread out throughout the up arm territories, the other three down arm. This positioning, combined with the delaying actions of the ravager fleets would mean that the Porei would have freedom of movement at least for a few nanapis until that force became cohesive.” The alien replied.

“I wager that they weren’t allowed to gather their forces.”
Stillstorm commented at that.

“The Porei tried their best and they had some success in doing that. The fact is that they had planned their ravager offensive in such a way to draw attention away from their Dreadstar, that was at the time of this initial attacks moving to intercept the three Dreadstars down arm.” The force took them again, away from the scene of butchery and back into space to witness a battle between two Dreadstars and their tending fleets. One of the Dreadstars was the scarred one they had seen before while the other one looked eerily pristine in comparison. “Attacking the enemy before they gather their force is the only prudent course of action when outnumbered. Despite their inexperience the Porei easily grasped this basic martial tenant.”

“The Porei? Didn’t the human females lead them?” Tempo asked, making Stillstorm realize that he hadn’t mentioned or showed any contributions or actions of the human females in the fight against the Soians.

“No, understand that out females don’t have the natural grit and mindset required for fighting in such a scale. The few who did have what was needed had always been the product of harsh people and harsh times.” He replied. “You can take pride that your ancestors were the force that brought down a major tech level 16 empire and they did so in less than a century from when the first of them drew breath.”

“Why are we here in the distance and not near the fighting?” Stillstorm asked as she observed the silent battle.

“It’s too dangerous.” Palan Fireblade replied out of turn. “I can sense the battle raging even from this distance. The mental attacks from both sides are monstrous.”

“Indeed, perhaps if we had all of you reach the same level as Fireblade but as you are now it’s too dangerous for you, even with our precautions.” The alien warned. “Although neither you or the Porei ever had the mental outlook necessary to launch combined mental attacks like human males do; the Porrei were more than a match for the Soians if only for their singly minded determination. For all their faults the Porrei were the apex of your kind in that regard, especially the firstborn sons and daughters. As she is now Pallan Fireblade rivals them and perhaps she will serve as the catalyst for your kind’s ascension.”

Suddenly the pristine Dreadstar seemed to implode for a single moment before it exploded violently, sending continent sized debris rushing out to the void with the gigantic shockwave that followed. The Porei Dreadstar and the fleets that still fought bore it without issue but it was obvious that the system they were in would be ruined once the shockwave and the debris run its course.

“What happened? It didn’t look like it had sustained any damage in the fighting.”
Stillstorm asked.

“Porei boarders reached the main black hole generator and sabotaged it. The fail-safes activated the instant the black hole went out of control and collapsed it into a white hole which exploded like a mini super nova as the fail-safe intended.” He pointed at the victorious scarred Dreadstar that was now cruising in space while its tending fleet hunted down the remnants of the Soian fleet. “A desperate yet effective tactic. The next time they employed it they were fighting two Dreadstars at the same time. They had managed to meet up and things looked dire. The boarders sent on one of them did manage to reach the black hole generator and managed to delay the fail-safe from triggering for a few moments. The other Dreadstar immediately jumped blind to avoid being caught in the event horizon of the black hole that was about to be formed. It was a misjump and the massive ship was caught in the space between dimensions as it was too big to fall into the underspace. It only managed to return to real space about ten millennia ago in a star system about one thousand and one hundred light tozons coreward from Deinar. It was mostly intact but the crew had long died. It was just waiting for someone to claim it and it was the root cause for the greatest and bloodiest war that we humans have fought amongst ourselves.”

“That’s how you reached your tech level?”
Beryl asked.

“No, we had several factions with varying technological mastery before the war begun. The Old Worlds, the faction that I belonged to and I now represent in the Senate, had long since passed the fifteenth tech level and had Ascended, electing to isolate ourselves from the rest of our kin until they would do so as well. The ones who discovered the Dreadstar weren’t anywhere near to Ascend and they saw it as a divine gift. We were fools into not investigating the sudden advancement of that faction.” He explained before the force took them elsewhere. This time to witness an one sided fight between the scarred Dreadstar and four pristine ones. The scarred one was already surrounded by its opponent while a massive fleet was pursuing a smaller one some distance away. “This is where the Soians met their end and where Vengeance was concluded.”

“They were caught and lost?”
Stillstorm asked confused.

“Just observe, we are far from finished.”


It all looked hopeless, both the Dreadstar and its fleet were defeated and with no hope of escape that she could see. The Soians had won; there was no other way to describe it. Suddenly the smaller fleet that was pursued split into two parts, the larger one turned to face their pursuers while the smaller part continued its course towards the system’s edge. The pursuers turned and steadied their approach in order to meet the returning part head on while the fleeing fleet opened the distance. The two fleets brutally clashed with one another, the fight being the one sided slaughter she expected it to be. Once the last ship was destroyed the pursuers turned their attention to the remaining fleeing ships that just jumped away before they reached any safe or even sane jump position. What followed next happened too quickly to process. The scarred Dreadstar just imploded in a single solon and then… nothing. Total darkness just surrounded all of them.

“What happened?”
Stillstorm asked.

“The Barsam were right!”
Beryl broadcasted. “The well of souls!”

“The black hole?”


“Yes, it all makes sense now. Their legends about it and the end of the Soians. They sacrificed the Dreadstar to create a black hole that caught the Soians within its event horizon!” Beryl explained.

“Indeed.” The alien confirmed. “The Soians did manage to catch the Porei by surprise with their four remaining Dreadstars but in doing so they themselves were caught in the last ditch gambit that the Porei had prepared.” Everyone remained in their thoughts for a few Solons before Stillstorm decided to share hers.

“So this is the legend of Tempest? We are the bedein? Given birth by wronged aliens who sought vengeance against the Soians?” Stillstorm asked.

“Indeed. That’s the basic truth behind the legend of Tempest as you, a Tabenese Loroi knows it.”
The alien replied.

“What you showed us… is important.” Stillstorm admitted, she somehow knew that all she witnessed was true. She couldn’t exactly pinpoint what made her realize this but she had to work with the assumption that all she saw was the truth. The way the Loroi would see themselves would change when this would inevitably become public knowledge, they weren’t the inheritors of the Soians; they were the ones who wiped them out!

It was a grave realization but it still didn’t alter the fact that Loroi were warriors; that much they always knew.

“Despite this importance however I fail to understand as to why this would convince me to aid you with your charade. I may be thankful towards you for showing me this but this doesn’t mean that I will work for you.”

“As I already told you Lashret Stillstorm, we are far from done with the Legend of Tempest.”
The alien sent before the force took them again.

Chapter 5, Part 1: http://www.well-of-souls.com/forums/vie ... 445#p28445
Last edited by Guest on Sat Nov 25, 2017 7:59 pm, edited 5 times in total.

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Imperator Sylvor
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by Imperator Sylvor »

Well this is a pleasant surprise. I do hope that more will follow soon... *hint hint*
"A learning experience is one of those things that say, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that'." - Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
"It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane." - Philip K. Dick, VALIS

Krulle
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by Krulle »

Wow.

Sooo many things happening.
It also took me surprusingly long to read it (too busy).

Thanks for sharing. I'll try to read again the next days, but on this device I won't do corrections (I saw some which looked like voice-to-text issues).
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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dragoongfa
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Yeah, I admit that I rushed to post this yesterday. It should be cleared up now.

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by Durabys »

'Females' not being capable of..X!? :roll:

Image

I knew that Outsider attracts the MRA types.
Si vis pacem, para bellum. - If you wish for peace, prepare for war.

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Nice; I wondered when someone would throw that snide my way.

I have had this discussion before in 'Looking forward to the Mirror', so I will make it short and sweet:

Throughout my studies I haven't seen anything to show that women are as capable warfighters as men or that they even DESIRE to be warfighters in the same way men do; nevermind society's expectations from both sexes.

That doesn't mean that women are incapable of fighting; they are capable of some auxiliary duties. However if one fields women in the same front line way they do men then that only means that they are idiots or that they are scrapping the bottom of the barrel for more manpower.

So there you have it, satisfied?

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by raistlin34 »

dragoongfa wrote:Nice; I wondered when someone would throw that snide my way.

I have had this discussion before in 'Looking forward to the Mirror', so I will make it short and sweet:

Throughout my studies I haven't seen anything to show that women are as capable warfighters as men or that they even DESIRE to be warfighters in the same way men do; nevermind society's expectations from both sexes.

That doesn't mean that women are incapable of fighting; they are capable of some auxiliary duties. However if one fields women in the same front line way they do men then that only means that they are idiots or that they are scrapping the bottom of the barrel for more manpower.

So there you have it, satisfied?
Yevgeniya Zhigulenko, Night Witch and Hero of the Soviet Union would have liked to take you on a trip in her plane into German airspace , just to see how long you endured before brown trouser moment.

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by Krulle »

Still an exception.

You won't find sufficient of these exceptions to
dragoongfa wrote:field[s] women in the same front line way they do [field] men
.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by NuclearIceCream »

Imma have to side with Dragoongfa and Krulle on this one.

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 25/11/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Chapter 5, Part 1

The transition this time was noticeably longer but still far shorter than the first one, this time the force brought them inside a large room whose walls were made by tree trunks meticulously placed onto each other in order to form the four vertical walls and the roof above them.

“A wooden house?” Tozet Beryl asked as they all took everything in, the room was eerily empty and lit only with a pair of large standing torches.

“Indeed.” The alien replied while looking at the lone figure that was sitting in a meditative stance between the two torches, the same orange haired female they had seen before.

“What are we going to witness here?” Stillstorm asked after a few moments of idleness.

“Greetings…” The odd sending took all four of them by surprise, it felt like it came both from far away and from the exact same room; even the Senator was momentarily shocked and his mind betrayed his expectation for it. “It has now been 1536 tozons since we settled on Deinar and wiped out the Mezerot…” It was the orange haired human, she was the one sending to them; the sending was odd but it betrayed her perfectly focused mind that put all its effort in it. “It was a hard decision to take but a necessary one. We who brought you here fully believed that this world offered the most to you and as thus we saw it right to claim it for you. The Soian ecosystem here has already proved itself as a resilient one, I knew what would happen but it was harsh for me to witness it even once. I am now certain that you will be able to thrive here if you manage to overcome yourselves. The others chose differently, one group chose Perrein because they fully believed that the planet itself would be your test, the others chose Taben because its oceanic nature would both limit your numbers and not allow for you to starve provided that you developed accordingly. Both were valid arguments but we thought that your very nature was in need of temperance and only this world would allow for that temperance to be brought forth by having you pitted against each other. This world is the only one on which you could truly let yourselves loose, it holds little to no danger to you and will be able to recover itself when…” Her mind lost focus, bringing the sending into an abrupt end. The four of them looked at each other for a single moment before turning their full attention to the alien.

“How? You said that we can’t sense a sending from the past.” Parat Tempo pointed out first.

“Normal sendings which are sent to someone on one’s present, what she is doing is vastly different and far more taxing. She is sending forward to recipients who she would never meet."

“Is that even possible?”

“You received it didn’t you?”

“My apologies…” The odd sending begun again. “I am…a…Tempest. That’s how our first sons and daughters described us once they could do so. That’s what our minds were to them as we taught them what we could in order for them to become our instruments of vengeance. A decision we have regretted… deeply…” The sending ceased again as the blue human female who called herself ‘A Tempest’ became visibly agitated for a few moments.

“My apologies again… this is not easy… I should perhaps have started from the very beginning… It should be obvious to you that have now reached me that I am not one of your kind. I am neither a Porei nor a Loroi if the new name you chose for yourselves was the one which prevailed in the end. I am an alien, from a world about 300 light tozons coreward from Deinar. My kind has long ceased to exist; the Soians exterminated us like they did several others who didn’t fit in their plan. I and the few others who still remain have come to terms with this fact and we have already taken our vengeance thanks to our children, your ancestors. I sent that we have deeply regretted that decision. We sought to hurt those who hurt us and we did so by giving birth and raising those who would be capable of doing just that. Our children, the Porei, vengeance made manifest. Great sacrifices were made but in the end you succeeded in what we thought impossible from the very beginning. Yet we regretted it, not because of what happened in our behest but because of the deep and nearly irreparable damage that was inflicted upon you.” Stillstorm became momentarily confused at that but the sending didn’t allow her enough time to think about it. “The Mizol, your wicked sisters, were what the Soians created to our original image. They were a loyal but very docile, nearly inert, creation; unimaginative and without a desire to live life to its fullest. Physically they were nearly identical to you but mentally? They were very much like machines; they felt but their feeling run only deep enough for them to fulfill their purpose. Your ancestors often joked that a Mizol was capable to only feel fear and terror and that only after they were done with them.” It was then that something entered Stillstorm’s mind, no it entered all of their minds, it was a collection of very clear memories of… several Porei making that joke in her… no… Tempest’s presence?

“Yes she will be sending certain parts of her memories to you.” The alien explained as time froze around them. “We missed them at first and you would miss it too if we hadn’t made certain that you would be able to properly receive them.” Time resumed again and the sending of… Tempest continued.

“You were their complete antithesis, holding an indomitable will and an unquenchable thirst to live life to the fullest. We ruined your minds by filling them with hatred, the very hatred that ended up being your very purpose for living. Even the callous Soians weren’t as cruel as us in the purpose they assigned to each and every one of their creations. Should you feel disgust and shame on how your ancestors acted in pursuing our vengeance then know that the blame for everything done falls on us, the ones who birthed them and raised them with nothing but hatred and harshness. We knew of your potential, the promise of magnificence was within each and every one of you and therein lays our regret. In our squandering of that promise you held. This may hurt your pride, your ancestors were certainly proud in their fighting abilities.” Another collection of memories rushed in Stillstorm’s mind, pleasant memories of witnessing proud warrior display their potential. “But our sole wish is for you to be more than just fighters. We wish for you to find your own path, away from our influence and what we had your ancestors do. Perhaps you would be able to do just that on your own if you didn’t have parts of our abilities. The others, the aliens who have yet to ascend will never understand how intertwined we all are and how what we do in life echoes in eternity. I don’t mean just in being able to witness the past but through the… collective soul each and every one of us shares. Non ascendants can’t really affect it to such a degree but you can and your collective is dangerous. Even after death one’s hatred will echo in the collective and it will affect other eons later, again and again until it is quenched. The hatred we instilled in our sons and daughters is affecting them and will be affecting you for millennia. I hope that you who receive this sending have managed to overcome it, your minds were always strong and bright, more than enough to heal yourselves from the curse we inflicted upon you.” The human female, Tempest, paused at that.

“What does she mean with that? Our collective souls that each and every one of us shares?” Parat Tempo asked before Stillstorm could.

“The telepathic networks that you form on your societal level, there is a reason as to why your males constantly monitor them.” The alien explained.

“Our networks are not able to do such things and certain castes of our brightest males monitor the networks to ensure that they are stable, not to contain… hatred.” Parat Tempo pointed out.

“No matter how much you convince yourselves of these lies they aren’t going to become the truth. Your males know of the sickness within your kind and they do their best to alleviate it with the means available to them.” The alien replied. “They do have their fun in doing so but they are taking care of your kind’s well-being in their own way.”

“I know that it will take time.” The human female sent again. “Far more time than I am ready to live for. This hatred runs deep and strong. Making you ready and willing to strike at each other over any perceived wrong or personal flaw.” More memories flashed in their minds, these one filled with sorrow as they bore witness to dozens of bloody brawls, feuds and murders. “This hatred combined with your thirst for life will bring you a harsh future, a future that you will survive only if you are as strong as I believe you are.” She paused again and sighed before continuing. “This is the first of my sendings to you who I will never meet, in the hopes that you have managed to overcome your trials and learned how to reach back to your past. I will send more, as many as I need to in order for you to receive everything I know. Unfortunately I only ever managed to learn the basic theories on how Soian technology worked, enough so we could operate their machinery, perhaps they will still be of some use to you. You wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t managed to master your abilities and although it is possible, I don’t think that you have managed to reach me without mastering certain technologies of theirs. No matter your situation all I can ask of you is to not be ashamed of the vengeance that your ancestors carried in our name. The crimes committed are ours, not yours. Ours was the hatred and ours are the sins. You were young and innocent; that’s why we took those we could with us and run away at the height of the last battle. Our hatred had consumed them; they lived only to kill and didn’t care for anything else.” The memories that accompanied this sending were different, they were of the despaired panic of the… Tempests as they, argued and struggled against and even killed some of their insane daughters in order for some of them to survive. “They were no longer living; they were beasts that sought only death. We took those we could by force and coercion and gave you a future.” The sending paused again but only for a moment. “My second sending will be tomorrow when the sun is at its highest in the sky.” With that the human female stood up, casually stretched herself and walked outside.

“Do you understand now Parat Tempo?” The alien broadcasted but the Mizol didn’t reply for several solons.

“Understand what?” Tozet Beryl asked when she couldn’t take the silence any longer.

“Is this what you meant? With your sick game when we first met?”

“Yes.”

“We are not the same thing.” The Mizol snapped back angrily.

“You are not? Really?” The alien sent with obvious amusement.

“Yes, they were born and lived their whole lives fighting a war. Raised with hatred and living with it. That doesn’t mean that we are bound to end up the same as they did. We are sapient, not mere animals driven only by emotion and instinct. Whatever our progenitors and even you may believe; we Loroi act on our own accord, not as a result of the influence that they had over us in the past!”

“Then how can you explain how all three of your sister worlds came to the exact same conclusions as to how Loroi society should function? All other sapient races form a plethora of different societal forms and different ways of governance and we humans are no different in that regard but you Loroi, your societies are all the same stratocratic caste based systems and these systems formed on three vastly different planets. All sapient societies form in order to limit infighting but you are an extreme aberration, so hateful and self-obsessed that large groupings of your kind couldn’t cooperate before the establishment of your castes. Only this harsh and cruel caste system allowed you to advance and only this system is able to keep you in line. And even with these systems in place you still are just like a domesticated predator that is only a couple of generations away from going fully feral again.” The alien turned his attention to Beryl and Stillstorm would swear that she felt a tinge of remorse for expressing himself in front of the Listel in such a way. “Thankfully there is hope for your kind, there do exist warriors that break certain patterns. Perhaps they may help you find ways to cooperate without the need to violently coerce each other.” He paused for a few solons before turning his full attention back to Stillstorm. “Do you understand now, Lashret?”

“Did they really intend to die with the Soians? To die fighting just for death’s shake?” She managed to ask.

“Yes they were.”

“They weren’t warriors then.”

“I never described them as such.” The alien pointed out. “They were vengeance made manifest and you are their offspring. You would have met warriors such as them if the war had continued for a couple of decades more. Warriors so consumed by hatred that they would rather die than stop killing.” He sent and paused for a few moments, looking at Stillstorm as if studying her. “If our females and you have only one thing in common then that would be the selfless love most of you have for your offspring. That love gave your kind a second chance at life and three worlds to thrive on; that same love is why we are here, giving your kind your third chance at life because you would have lost the war without human intervention.”

“Then why are you threatening us with extinction?” Stillstorm angrily pointed out the hypocrisy in his line of thinking.

“Because your kind kills for the wrong reasons.” He replied as a matter of fact, the statement catching all four of them by surprise. “Did you all honestly believe that our disdain towards you about your kind’s crimes is about the acts of genocide themselves? Death and extinction are part of the universe’s natural order. To hold those committing them in such disdain would be like hating predators for killing their prey or cursing at a virus for the deaths it causes when killing those too weak to overcome it.”

“Then what do you mean? With us killing for the wrong reasons?” Parat Tempo asked.

“We humans used to think that only one’s actions mattered to make proper judgment of one’s character, this way of thinking proved itself insufficient as one’s intentions are as important as their actions in order to truly judge individuals, collectives and even entire races. You Loroi are a species born of hatred that has forced a harsh social system on itself to bring forth a semblance of order. In the grand scheme of things everything that you kind has done from when the very first castes were formed on all three of the sister worlds had a singular purpose and that purpose was control. Self-control at first; control over others later on.” His sending easily betrayed the fact that he found the former admirable but loathed the later. “You seek to control everything around you, all in order to bring forth a new ‘galactic order’ just like the inheritors of the Soians ought to do. Those who fought against your pursuit of this order? The lucky ones were subjugated with little to no chance of bettering their position throughout the eons. Those unlucky got a genocide that was only used to solidify your control over others. We would have never bothered you had you just exterminated the Mannadi to the last, settled their worlds and never spoke of them again; that’s the natural order of life itself. But you built the Union on their corpses, a tool of control for the ‘true inheritors’ to bring forth another era of galactic order that would last for all eternity; able to overcome all challenges, whether internal or external. A hollow order of things, that will be built and fueled by the corpses of all those who oppose you. Just like the Soians maintained their own order of things.”

“I don’t understand, moments ago you said that we are filled with hatred and we are dangerous because of it and now you are chastising us for the Union that was created in order to bring forth lasting peace and mutual prosperity?” Parat Tempo pointed out.

“Yes, I didn’t expect you to understand as you are now. In fact I wouldn’t understand when I was still 'locked'. The issue is how you will act the moment your kind truly Ascends like we did. All signs point to you becoming a far more murderous version of the Soians, one that will take pleasure in punishing all those who opposed you. You may point out that your kind isn’t the same as it used to be but we observed you when you massacred both the Mannadi and the Tithric. We saw the enjoyment many warriors had in their minds when they slaughtered the Mannadi, we saw the attempts of your males to bring forth a sense of shame for those acts in order to protect you only for those attempts to fail miserably and bring forth the Tithric genocide.” The alien looked at Stillstorm for a few moments as her mind brought forth the memories she held when she took part in the Tithric campaign. It was true that many warriors enjoyed wiping out whole continents from orbit, far too many of them. “Both of them were fools that would eventually die due to their foolishness. The Mannadi were fools for not realizing their position as the vanquished, the Tithric were fools for never realizing what was going on around them and how the actions of the few affect the whole. You Loroi, you are not fools; never were and never will be, not to that level at least. You are just hypocrites. Had you killed just for sport and enjoyment you would be murderous hedonists, had you killed just for material gain you would be callous pragmatists. You killed for enjoyment; you killed for gain and most of all, you killed for control. Your kind’s claims of the peace and mutual prosperity that the Union supposedly brings? They are all lies brought forth by the ruthless hypocrisy that is engraved in you. I have to congratulate you, I never thought that we humans would ever be rivaled in hypocrisy.”

“We are not liars and we are not hypocrites!” Stillstorm finally shouted angrily.

“Not on the personal level but you are on the greater societal one.” He laughed after finding a perverse source of amusement at that. “Such a mental disconnect from the personal to the societal is extremely rare, in fact of those you know only the Shells have a disconnect of such magnitude. So humble and unassuming on the personal, yet they are aggressive dominators who must be above all on the societal.”

“We don’t have anything in common with the Shells!” Stillstorm shouted again.

“Keep telling yourself that, it will never change who and what you are.” He replied smugly. “Now it’s time for you to witness the end of a Legend.”

Chapter 5, Part 2: http://www.well-of-souls.com/forums/vie ... 467#p28467
Last edited by Guest on Sun Dec 03, 2017 7:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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dragoongfa
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 25/11/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

I will only say this has been on hiatus only because I am a lazy git that couldn't be arsed to copy the manuscript. The story's manuscript is finished and the only issue is time and laziness. Hopefully I will post everything before the end of the year.

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by Krulle »

SpoilerShow
dragoongfa, Chapter 4, part 3 wrote:[...]

The warrior then tilted her head slightly as the club seemingly swung itself against the bleeding Barsam, it’s armor realigning itself to take the hit only to live leave other areas exposed for the knife to stab and cut with a supernatural speed before the armor could protect its wearer.

[...]

“Indeed. Of the more than four billion Soians aboard at the time of the first revolt more than half perished from the repeated combined shouts of the human males that were cast throughout it. In turn several key administration and industrial centers were damaged and destroyed in the ensuing fighting. The loss of life and the damage inflicted were enough for the Soians to temporary retire the Dreadstar from its official duties so it could be repair itself. About ten million Soians were left aboard to facilitate the repairs with the rest scattered on the seven remaining Dreadstars that now had to fill the gap that was left. It was estimated that the repairs would require several centuries and would require the full remaining industrial output of the Dreadstar before it could resume its duties, the Porei managed to high jack hijack (simply wrong word use, see http://www.dictionary.com/browse/hijack - it is one word, not two separate words) it when the repairs were about three quarters done.”

“How did the Porei high jacked hijack it? It would require a whole fleet and hundreds of thousands of boarders.” Stillstorm asked.

[...]

“We are on Derro by the way. The Porei gave a very simple ultimatum to the Neridi. They would surrended surrender every last Mizol on their world or they would suffer their fate. As you can see some Neridi actively disagreed and reaped their just dues.” The alien sent.

[...]

“They did fight; in fact the brutal savagery of the ravagers forced them into martial action for the first time in one hundred millennia. All sever seven Dreadstars were to gather and coalesce into a unified force in order to find, overwhelm and destroy the rogue Dreadstar, the problem laid with their peace time positioning. Four Dreadstars were spread out throughout the up arm territories, the other three down arm. This positioning, combined with the delaying actions of the ravager fleets would mean that the Porei would have freedom of movement at least for a few nanapis until that force became cohesive.” The alien replied.

[...]

“No, understand that out our females don’t have the natural grit and mindset required for fighting in such a scale. The few who did have what was needed had always been the product of harsh people and harsh times.” He replied. “You can take pride that your ancestors were the force that brought down a major tech level 16 empire and they did so in less than a century from when the first of them drew breath.”

[...]

Suddenly the pristine Dreadstar seemed to implode for a single moment before it exploded violently, sending continent sized debris rushing out to the void with the gigantic shockwave that followed. The Porei Dreadstar and the fleets that still fought bore it without issue but it was obvious that the system they were in would be ruined once the shockwave and the debris run ran its course.

[...]
dragoongfa. Chapter 5, part 1 wrote:[...]

“You were their complete antithesis, holding an indomitable will and an unquenchable thirst to live life to the fullest. We ruined your minds by filling them with hatred, the very hatred that ended up being your very purpose for living. Even the callous Soians weren’t as cruel as us in the purpose they assigned to each and every one of their creations. Should you feel disgust and shame on how your ancestors acted in pursuing our vengeance then know that the blame for everything done falls on us, the ones who birthed them and raised them with nothing but hatred and harshness. We knew of your potential, the promise of magnificence was within each and every one of you and therein lays our regret. In our squandering of that promise you held. This may hurt your pride, your ancestors were certainly proud in their fighting abilities.” Another collection of memories rushed in Stillstorm’s mind, pleasant memories of witnessing proud warrior display their potential. “But our sole wish is for you to be more than just fighters. We wish for you to find your own path, away from our influence and what we had your ancestors do. Perhaps you would be able to do just that on your own if you didn’t have parts of our abilities. The others, the aliens who have yet to ascend will never understand how intertwined we all are and how what we do in life echoes in eternity. I don’t mean just in being able to witness the past but through the… collective soul each and every one of us shares. Non ascendants can’t really affect it to such a degree but you can and your collective is dangerous. Even after death one’s hatred will echo in the collective and it will affect others eons later, again and again until it is quenched. The hatred we instilled in our sons and daughters is affecting them and will be affecting you for millennia. I hope that you who receive this sending have managed to overcome it, your minds were always strong and bright, more than enough to heal yourselves from the curse we inflicted upon you.” The human female, Tempest, paused at that.

[...]

“We humans used to think that only one’s actions mattered to make proper judgment of one’s character, this way of thinking proved itself insufficient as one’s intentions are as important as their actions in order to truly judge individuals, collectives and even entire races. You Loroi are a species born of hatred that has forced a harsh social system on itself to bring forth a semblance of order. In the grand scheme of things everything that your kind has done from when the very first castes were formed on all three of the sister worlds had a singular purpose and that purpose was control. Self-control at first; control over others later on.” His sending easily betrayed the fact that he found the former admirable but loathed the latter. “You seek to control everything around you, all in order to bring forth a new ‘galactic order’ just like the inheritors of the Soians ought to do. Those who fought against your pursuit of this order? The lucky ones were subjugated with little to no chance of bettering their position throughout the eons. Those unlucky got a genocide that was only used to solidify your control over others. We would have never bothered you had you just exterminated the Mannadi to the last, settled their worlds and never spoke of them again; that’s the natural order of life itself. But you built the Union on their corpses, a tool of control for the ‘true inheritors’ to bring forth another era of galactic order that would last for all eternity; able to overcome all challenges, whether internal or external. A hollow order of things, that will be built and fueled by the corpses of all those who oppose you. Just like the Soians maintained their own order of things.”

[...]
Good read. Thank you. Looking forward for the next part, and the end of the Legend.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 03/12/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Chapter 5, part 2

They found themselves into a forest for the second time but this one was familiar, they were on Deinar again, Fireblade was certain of that; the others realizing this simple fact just a moment after she did. The blue human female and a Loroi male were nearby, she was gathering various herbs, fruits and various vegetables in a large basket while the male held a crude stone age spear and seemed to be on guard.

“What are they doing?” The Lashret asked.

“Food for honored guests, banquets and religious offerings must be gathered by female hand or be killed by the weapon of a male hunter.” Beryl reminded them as they all stared at the ridiculous sight of a Loroi male standing guard over a female, one whose abilities actually were the stuff of Legend.

“In her last sending to the future she will mention that someone in the village reminds her of a long dead son.” The alien senator commented, his mind fully guarded for some reason. Perhaps they were about to witness something he found extremely disturbing.

Suddenly the male turned his attention at their direction and brought his spear at a ready position, for a moment Fireblade wondered if he had somehow sensed them but she immediately realized that his attention was drawn from something behind them. All four of them turned and saw a large miros walking about 60 or so paces away from them.

They turned their attention back to the male who had already begun levitating telekinetically, bringing himself just below the tree branches before slowly making his way above the unsuspecting miros. Without making a single sound he positioned himself above the miros and aimed his spear carefully before allowing himself to fall onto his prey. The spear piercing the animal’s neck in an instant with the impact of the male’s body bringing it to its knees in the instant before it died.

“It’s weird to witness a hunting male.” The mizol commented as the blue human female walked up to him and just patted him on the head with a smile before the two of them gathered their respective harvest and kill to make their way back home.

“Tell me Listel Tozet? How well versed are you with Deinar’s minor legends?”
He broadcasted.

“I know only a handful; the legends and their interpretations are the field of the all male Nedatan preservers, not of the Listel warrior caste.”
The Listel replied and he nodded in understanding.

“I would appreciate it if you don’t inform the others if you happen to realize in which legends the events we are about to witness are recalled.”
He broadcasted again before the force took them for an almost instantaneous trip.

This time they found themselves amidst a seemingly empty village made out of wooden houses that were built in the same way like the one they were in just earlier. The blue human was there, standing alone in front of a cruse table on which various food stuffs were meticulously placed.

She was standing there, waiting for someone with a calm, seemingly serene expression. After a few moments 16 warriors appeared from a distant corner, dressed with leather rags, brandishing crude spears and with some short of knife holster worn at their waists. The advanced materials the holsters and the knives were made of were in complete contrast to everything else on them.

Fireblade sensed Beryl as she realized something but the Listel immediately suppressed the thought, composing herself in an instant. The warriors wearily approached the lone human who just smiled at them as they looked around, obviously waiting for an ambush that never materialized. Studying them from up close it was easy for Fireblade to realize how malnourished their bodies and how tattered their leather clothing were; the sight was just painfully pitiful.

The warriors stopped a dozen paces away from the human female, all sixteen of them standing there in silence for several solons before one of them walked up to her. They couldn’t sense their exchange but the warriors agitation was easy to see, the human female just standing there, staring at the warrior and the others behind her with a seemingly aloof demeanor towards the warrior and what she was agitated about. She turned her back at them and pointed at the table but the warrior was onto her with blinding speed, drawing her ceramic knife from its sheath, stabbing the human with a shrilly shout as the others moved in with their own knives drawn, stubbing, slashing and yelling at the human for several solons before stopping; leaving only a barely recognizable bloody corpse at their feet. All sixteen of them didn’t waste a single moment after that, immediately rushing to the table to gorge themselves with the food that was there.

“Why?”
The Listel asked after a few moments.

“Why they killed her or why she didn’t fight back?”
The alien replied. “Or both?” The Listel just stood there and nodded at the last, ignoring the alien’s own agitation to what they just witnessed.

“You Loroi live extremely long lives when compared with the natural human lifespan; in fact natural unassisted humans can’t reach Lashret Stillstorm’s age, to be sincere humans of ages gone by would mistake your longevity for nigh immortality." He explained as he looked at the bloody corpse in front of them. "She was biologically immortal, having lived for millennia through several Loroi generations. All that time filled with all the devastation, pain, suffering and extensive loss that your kind can bring forth. The true question one has to ask is why the majority of them didn’t just take their own lives after all that time.” He continued as he stared blankly at the 16 who were eating without any care towards the one they just murdered. “She didn’t fight back because she had long decided to accept her death after having finished sending her last gift to you. She wasn’t the only one who believed that you had to find your own path, most of them were like that; with only a few trying to guide and lead you but they all failed. Their actions giving birth to different legends than the ones this murder gave birth to.” He explained before realizing something. “Which legend came to you when you realized what was going to happen?”

“The cowardly city of the lying warrior.” The Listel begun. “The Legend speaks of a great city that stood against all enemies no matter the numbers and warriors pitted against it. The city was rich, powerful and was the envy of everyone as it was protected by a great warrior who could beat any and all foes effortlessly. One day the city was besieged by a truly mighty army and sixteen warriors were sent to challenge the city’s own champion. They found the city abandoned, with only the champion waiting for them in front of a table of tribute. The warrior asked her where everyone was, the champion replying that all the others had fled. The warriors were angered by such cowardice and challenged the champion to battle to save her city’s honor. The champion denied them saying that she was never a warrior. The leading warrior was angered by such an obvious lie and pointed out how the city stood for so long and with such a champion if she wasn’t a warrior. The champion just called her and all the others who thought like that fools before turning her back at them. The sixteen warrior then stroked down the lying champion, took the tribute and torched the city so the cowards would not have a place to return to.” The Listel recalled.

“And that was how her murder was passed along by those who killed her.” He began. “A village that housed about a couple of thousand Loroi would certainly look like an opulent city to the horde of starving Loroi that reached it in desperation at the height of a recession cycle. The so called champion was a ‘Tempest’ who protected the village for as long as she needed to finish her last gift to her children. The tribute was food for those who starved; the cowards were those who knew that they would not be protected anymore and elected to flee. The warriors who killed her ended up believing that she had somehow tricked all those before them; that the stories about her and the city’s strength were all falsehoods born of cowardice. How else could they with such limited perception explain all this?”

“You made it clear that this wasn’t the only legend about her murder…”
The Listel commented after a few solons of thinking.

“Indeed, this isn’t the only legend of this one’s murder. An other, less known legend, is among those who speak about the great nameless warriors who forsake their duties because of a male. You have plenty of these legends but one particular variant speaks of a great warrior, a peerless protector and a bulwark again all. One day she became infatuated with a male who had the powers of a warrior. The spent their time together, hunting and conversing about all things. She was happy with him, he was strong and with a sharp mind but he was still a male with a male’s idealist thinking. She foolishly believed to his false ideals of peace and understanding. She decided to act on these ideals and elected to parlay with their enemies. The two of them prepared gifts for them and she alone waited for them. Her people however knew that this was foolish and fled before the parlay took place because they knew that without her they would never win against their foes. There was no parley, the once mighty warrior was just murdered, the gifts taken as trophies and her people’s homes were burned to the ground. One of the many legends that warn Loroi warriors about the perils of becoming too attached and infatuated with a male.” The alien explained.

“And the dangers of attempting peace with one’s enemies.” The Mizol added.

“Indeed.”


“Is this why she did all this? To bring peace?”
The Lashret asked.

“No, she wasn’t a fool to believe that peace was possible. She was just weary of killing the blood of her blood or seeing it starve to death. She had resigned to her death long before this day and as such she had no fear of meeting them and alleviate their hunger even for a little while.” He replied.

“The way she gathered the food, it was ceremonial.”
The Listel commented.

“Yes it was. She knew that there was a strong possibility of her dying and deemed it appropriate that the food offered to her... guests during her funeral's banquet to be prepared accordingly.”


“So she wanted to die?”
The Lashret asked, momentarily drawing his ire towards her.

“No, there is a difference between accepting death and willing it. She didn’t commit suicide, she was murdered. Perhaps in time she would get frustrated enough to commit suicide, like some of the others did; in the end all of them died despite the fact that they could survive even to this day after the Soians made sure that they would be biologically immortal. The vast majority of the ‘Tempests’ were murdered by those they sought to save. The truth of their lives and deaths intentionally hidden and obscured by your collective; to be remembered only in disdain through your various legends.” He paused to recollect himself before continuing. “Perrein has the legends of the ‘Abhorrent mothers’ and the ‘Jungle witch’. Taben has the ‘Lonesome Captain’ and the ‘Sailor of the starry mountaintop’. None of those recalled in these legends are ever done so in fondness or appreciation of any form. It is sad really; the ones who birthed you and gave you a second chance are only appreciated for the destruction they wrought. The 'Legend of Tempest' you all know, the ‘Legend of Firestorm’ of Deinar, the ‘Legend of the Huntress’ of Perrein and the ‘Legend of the Sea Wanderer’ of Taben. All wrought in death, destruction and nothing of what they wished of you. Your collective minds never allowed you to remember anything other than that, drawn to hatred as if it’s the only natural thing your kind is drawn to.” The force took them again when he finished, a long journey this time, much like the first one; all four of them realized they were returning to their own time.
Fireblade felt disoriented as she opened her eyes, all four of them did while he just stood up as briskly as if he had just woken up from a refreshing nap.

“After all this I fail to understand one thing…”
The Lashret began sending groggily after forcing herself to stand up. “Why do all this? You showed us that we Loroi were the ones who destroyed the Soians! And you want us to attain that level of ability again while fully believing that hatred is deeply entrenched in our very being! This doesn’t make sense.”

“We will not destroy anyone and anything for what they will become but for what they are. The path for your kind’s Ascension is your own hurdle to pass, we just pointed you in the right direction, showed you what is yours, warned you about yourselves and we will make certain that you are left to your own devices until the time comes.”
He replied matter of factly.

“Aren’t you worried? That you might not be able to stop us after we Ascend and we prove to be what you believe we are? You are not fools and yet this is foolish in every way. The ones who destroyed the Soians could be the ones who end up destroying you.” The Lashret pointed out with a challenging tone only to have him stare at her with a dumbfounded expression before bursting into laughter. It was an eerie laughter, more intense than the other times he laughed at that and… he wasn’t alone! In an disconcerting way it felt like the whole of Naam was laughing at them.

“Perhaps…”
He broadcasted with a smirk before making an important decision. “but perhaps not…” Fireblade sensed the others forcibly losing control of their bodies again as the alien chuckled at her attempt to protect from having her very being taken over again. She blacked out but she was still conscious, no… it wasn’t her consciousness… it was… not something living… overwhelming yet somehow familiar… a memory of it.

Chapter 6, part 1: http://www.well-of-souls.com/forums/vie ... 684#p28684
Last edited by Guest on Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Krulle
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 03/12/2017)

Post by Krulle »

SpoilerShow
dragoongfa wrote:Chapter 5, part 2

[...]

“Indeed, this isn’t the only legend of this one’s murder. An other, less known legend, is among those who speak about the great nameless warriors who forsake their duties because of a male. You have plenty of these legends but one particular variant speaks of a great warrior, a peerless protector and a bulwark again against all. One day she became infatuated with a male who had the powers of a warrior. The They spent their time together, hunting and conversing about all things. She was happy with him, he was strong and with a sharp mind but he was still a male with a male’s idealist thinking. She foolishly believed to his false ideals of peace and understanding. She decided to act on these ideals and elected to parlay with their enemies. The two of them prepared gifts for them and she alone waited for them. Her people however knew that this was foolish and fled before the parlay took place because they knew that without her they would never win against their foes. There was no parley, the once mighty warrior was just murdered, the gifts taken as trophies and her people’s homes were burned to the ground. One of the many legends that warn Loroi warriors about the perils of becoming too attached and infatuated with a male.” The alien explained.

[...]
And I had to look hard to find anything.....
And thus, it all is just a memory. A memory of ideals the Loroi should strive for.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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Durabys
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 25/11/2017)

Post by Durabys »

dragoongfa wrote:Chapter 5, Part 1

“Because your kind kills for the wrong reasons.” He replied as a matter of fact, the statement catching all four of them by surprise. “Did you all honestly believe that our disdain towards you about your kind’s crimes is about the acts of genocide themselves? Death and extinction are part of the universe’s natural order. To hold those committing them in such disdain would be like hating predators for killing their prey or cursing at a virus for the deaths it causes when killing those too weak to overcome it.”
Wait. THE FUCK!? Isn't this what the fucking Nazis were spewing in the 30's and 40's!?

DA FUCK?!
Si vis pacem, para bellum. - If you wish for peace, prepare for war.

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dragoongfa
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 25/11/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Durabys wrote:
dragoongfa wrote:Chapter 5, Part 1

“Because your kind kills for the wrong reasons.” He replied as a matter of fact, the statement catching all four of them by surprise. “Did you all honestly believe that our disdain towards you about your kind’s crimes is about the acts of genocide themselves? Death and extinction are part of the universe’s natural order. To hold those committing them in such disdain would be like hating predators for killing their prey or cursing at a virus for the deaths it causes when killing those too weak to overcome it.”
Wait. THE FUCK!? Isn't this what the fucking Nazis were spewing in the 30's and 40's!?

DA FUCK?!
In the next chapter you will know why the story is called 'The Pale Horse'. Humanity in this story is neither benevolent nor villainous in the sense we commonly think of the terms.

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