[Fan Fiction] Tunguska

[wolf329]

Of Human/Loroi Relationships, Siberian grizzly bears, and Chippendale dancers

Personal Datafile of Mizol Parat Sedel (Tempo)

After the Leido incursion was pushed back, it was decided that Humanity needed to be added to the Union without delay. As the persons with the most experience with humans, I and four other Loroi were tasked to accompany the official diplomats as both assistants and as cultural attaches to smooth the negotiation process. Highly placed individuals on both sides believed that an upgrading in technology, facilitated by Loroi, would allow humans to quickly develop a vital support region which at the moment was nominally out of easy reach of the Hierarchy. My immediate team was consisted of myself, Teidar Pallan Fireblade, Listel Tozet Beryl, and Tenoins Talon and Spiral, the latter two more as a reward for their service as their duties would be light and they were each overdue a period of leave.

Upon arrival, we learned numerous nation-states of Earth in addition to the Terran Colonial Authority were very interested in meeting with Loroi representatives in person. Apparently, though unified in interstellar matters, internal politics of Earth still held strong sway. We first visited one of the more influential of these political units, a continent spanning union of smaller entities.

It was here we first gained an inkling that not all humans would be as welcoming and friendly as Ensign Jardem is towards us [note: Alexander Jardem's attitude regarding the Loroi is most likely heavily influenced by his ongoing interpersonal relationship with Listel Beryl]. On a tour of a public park a human attempted to attack us with a firearm, but he was stopped by quick action from teidar Fireblade, who incapacitated him via telekinetic sanzai before he could shoot. This however created an issue, in that Fireblade's actions showcased one of the aspects of sanzai that both we and the TCA would have preferred to keep a more closely guarded ability rather than showcased in worldwide news broadcasts.

As this was being discussed, much to our and the human delegations surprise, a partial solution was found via an unexpected source. While waiting outside the meeting room, Fireblade was approached by an individual who had somehow managed to breach security by, of all things, talking his way past the guards [note: while humans are impervious to sanzai, their mental defenses with regards to verbal persuasion still leave much to be desired]. He was a "modeling agent" whose only protection from Teidar Fireblade not throwing him through the nearest window as he babbled at her was her complete confusion as to his offer, as well as the fact she couldn't speak to him to tell him to go away, which unfortunately only encouraged him. More stringent guards noticed him and were about to remove him from the site by the time I arrived. The man's comment, "Wow, do they all look that hot?" amused me, and I asked him his intentions towards Fireblade out of curiosity.

Apparently, purely based on her appearance, he believed she would be a great help in the promotion and selling of various civilian retail goods, such as personal transports and legal intoxicants. Once he explained his presence I had an idea, and requested they allow him to stay. If her appearance could be tied to more trivial things, I said, it would go a long way to helping people forget one of the first times they saw a Loroi was a video of one twisting and nearly severing a man's arm from several paces away. The human delegation agreed, and thus the next day I accompanied teidar Fireblade to a "photoshoot".

Although her reticence to the entire ordeal and refusal to smile made it slightly awkward, not helped by Alexander Jardem's difficulty in restraining his visible mirth, the photographer assured us that they could "fix it in post". Though unamused by the whole situation she recognized the importance of her position when I emphasized the necessity of propaganda in appealing to humans, which has been facilitated by the fact that most Loroi, despite some... minor differences, resemble very physically attractive human females. Fireblade especially due to her height and oddly enough her hair color. The modeling agent, whose name was Greg Morris and turned out to be close to Alexander's age, said she was definitely "supermodel material".

I suspect, however, that his youth is a slight detriment to his professionalism, since as he gains familiarity with Teidar Fireblade he has begun to have trouble speaking with her clearly. This may have been related to the fact that when she was finally persuaded to wear one of the rather overly exposing "swim suits", she immediately stripped down in front of the entire human photography crew and put it on without using the closet provided for changing attire. Not being particularly fluent in speech let alone human languages she has not picked up on his growing infatuation with her, assuming his gawking and stammering is just morbid curiosity for aliens that seemed to be common to all humans.

I'm not sure how to tell her that the "morbid curiosity" she attracts is slightly different from the mere fact she is an alien as evidenced by the rise in clumsiness of human males in her presence, up to and including, I suspect, at least two vehicular accidents that occurred as we were walking along a street.

After several days spent visiting various organizations with us, Ensign Jardem was granted a period of leave to visit his family, which he was happy to take. I tasked Listel Beryl, who was eager to observe the intimate structure of a human family group, to accompany him along with Teidar Fireblade as protection and because of a "location shoot" Gregory set up conveniently near Alex's home [note: again, Jardem and Beryl's familiarity may be more of an influence on her agreeable attitude towards this assignment than professional curiosity. Their closeness is apparent even to humans; when I announced that she would be traveling with him to meet his family, one member of the contingent made an inexplicable comment to another, "Guess who's coming to dinner?" which elicited signs of amusement from several other humans].

~~~~

A few days later...

"We might have a little problem with this," Major Hogan the commanding officer of the diplomatic guard accompanying us said as he handed me a tablet displaying photos taken near Ensign Jardem's home. Much like the greater galactic society, some human news agencies are less respectable than others, as they mainly traffic in rumor and gossip, though naturally they tend to be just as popular as more serious organizations. It was one of the more lurid and even less regarded ones that had zoomed-in pictures of Alexander and Beryl together on a beach near his family residence, accompanied by racy headlines and an innuendo-laden article.

"While some may regard it as inappropriate, I suspect the two of them being seen like this could go a long way to making the Loroi appear friendly towards humans," I said.

"Especially given some of those shots," he said and sighed. "Almost literal star crossed lovers..."

"'Star crossed'?"

"Oh, uh, a theme in fiction, where two people from competing or even warring groups fall in love," he said in an almost wistful voice. I couldn't help but smile at the dichotomy between his romantic tone and his gruff appearance.

"Still, I will remind Listel Beryl to be a little more discreet in her relationship with Ensign Jardem," I said.

"Kids will be kids," he replied, "with the hell they've both gone through they've earned a little romance. She seems like a nice girl, anyways."

I enjoyed working with the major because given his strong interpersonal bond with his mate he is extremely professional towards me, somewhat more so than some of the other, younger, members of the guard detachment who, despite their best efforts to be proper soldiers, tend to show a desire to impress me at times. Flattering, but as most of them trend towards the human male build which more resembles a Barsam than a Loroi in comparison to Ensign Jardem, who turned out to be a more gracile example of his race, I fear their efforts are in vain. Not to mention they are all many tens of years younger than me.

Shortly after Ensign Jardem and company had left, however, it had become more of a problem with Tenoins Talon and Spiral, who, as pilots, responded to the mental chafing of dull trade and policy negotiation procedures by becoming increasingly flirtatious with the human staff. To stave off potential diplomatic incidents, I gave them orders to "assist" Listel Beryl at her location. As Fireblade would probably be a little overworked watching them as well as Beryl and Alex, and dealing with her own duties, I requested some personnel to escort them. I encouraged Major Hogan to be... selective. Thus when the two arrived at the airport with their gear they were politely welcomed by an all female guard detachment. After some sharp words at their sanzai'd disappointment, I bid them a safe and enjoyable leave.

Regardless of those issues I appreciate the female members of my cadre. To a being they are welcoming and friendly. I was concerned about jealousy over human male attention being paid to me, but those fears were unfounded due to something they referred to as "sisterhood". They find the Loroi, a species that has a strictly matriarchal basis versus their still male-leaning culture, to be, as one put it, "a nice dose of chlorine in this testosterone pool". Lieutenant Sarah Hardin and Sergeant Rebecca Staton are members of the ground combat military, while Ensigns Cynthia Morris and Miranda Winters are part of the TCA Scout Corps like Ensign Jardem.

I was a little worried about Beryl's attachement to Alexander as all four of them tower over her, with Sergeant Staton even taller than Teidar Fireblade, and obviously far more resembling him. Coupled with the tendency of human females to be more muscular and frankly over-endowed in mammary glands than the typical loroi I assumed any of them would be more attractive to Alexander, but apparently he is so enamored with Listel Beryl that he was no more than professionally courteous when they were introduced, possibly to some slight disappointment on their part, I think maybe. In fact, the only small amount of jealousy I noticed my "sisters" felt towards loroi seemed to be focused on Listel Beryl for her "snagging" of Alexander. Ensign Jardem's attitude towards females, human or loroi, is actually less common, and many human males are more aggressive and brusque. I decided not to make them even more disappointed by neglecting to inform them that even given his complete inability to provide a loroi with children at least half of the diplomatic contingent routinely made nonchalant inquiries as to his mating status.

At one point I accompanied them on an evening excursion for the sake of learning more about their gender and humanity. It mostly consisted of visiting numerous eating establishments that served varieties of intoxicants rather than much in the way of food. I found the idea of a restaurant which primarily served narcotics strange, but my squad of humans enjoyed it immensely. Our night out culminated, much to the visible discomfort of the two male guards tasked to accompany us, in a visit to a male dancing revue. Almost nude human males danced on a stage in front of a crowd of exclusively female humans, who seemed to treat the event as an excuse to act as human males do towards the opposite gender, much to my amusement. I mentioned this to one of my new found friends who said, "You're goddamn right it is!", at which I couldn't help but laugh. Still, it still felt odd to have males on display so grotesquely though it was a highly informative lesson in human mating displays. During the course of the show audience participation was requested, and to my human comrades delight I was chosen [note: whom I later realized may have had some involvement in my selection]. I confess that due to my consumption of intoxicants (which was acceptable in the course of my duties at that juncture) I went along with their encouragement, and allowed myself to be led up on the stage.

I was presented with a chair to sit in, after which followed a very, very close-up performance by a very, very scantily clad human male. I believe my gentle humiliation was part of the fun of the event, although I didn't even blue my ears, much to their disappointment I'm sure. At the close of his act, as he was leading me back to my group, the dancer even surreptitiously made a scandalous invitation, but I politely declined [note: given he had a build far closer to Alexander's than the other human males around me, at times I envy Listel Beryl's youth, well, perhaps more her lower rank more forgiving of dalliances...]. I mentioned it as we were leaving and was informed it was generally frowned upon for performers to interact with audience members in that manner, but was congratulated by my companions none the less, a few of them outright encouraging me to go back inside and take him up on the offer.

Though a little outrageous, that night more than any other reaffirmed my belief that humans are the closest thing to a kindred species we have ever encountered in the whole of our history. Were it not for their skin and ears, and speaking instead of sanzai, I would have sworn that I was surrounded by loroi as we laughed and spoke together. Our attitudes and desires, our goals and dreams, all so familiar and recognizable despite their slight differences in form.

~~~~

Alright! Originally, this was going to be a comic, hence the stiff nature of the writing in this prologue, but given the volume of work I already have on my plate, for the sake of my wrists, it will sadly have to be prose, with perhaps a picture here and there added later. A significant portion of this story is already written, but in a slightly different (hopefully less didactic) narrative form that I need to work on some more, and fill out some details. In case you're wondering if we'll find out what happens in California, well, that's a story equally long (and lot more... fun).

[Snoofman]

Not sure if this is the place to comment...

... But I'll take the initiative to say I F"#€%ING LOVED IT! The strip club was the best! Talon and Spiral would have loved that action.

It was also humorous for Fireblade to be approached by a modelling agent. If you continue with this, I look forward to the next instalment.

[wolf329]

Here is fine, I don't feel like managing separate threads for stories and discussions even if it's tidier. Glad you like it! I'll fiddle with the rest of the story over the next few days and post it soon. It's actually mostly written, just a few gaps here and there that need to be filled with more than "Later that day..."

[inxsi]

Very nice. Talon and Spiral will be jealous that they missed out on the strip club. Hopefully they are enjoying their time on the beach since this is supposed to be a reward for them. I loved the Fireblade part the best - her being oblivious while making everything worse for the humans was great. Looking forward to any future installments.

[Cthulhu]

That was very good, it's an interesting "clash of cultures" scenario. I wonder what the next part is going to be about, maybe that the Tunguska meteorite was actually a Loroi scout that crashed on Earth?

[wolf329]

Well, I tend away from deep/grand-narrative plots. But we'll see. ("towards less" read awkwardly, fixed)

[Bamax]

Well, I tend towards less deep/grand narrative plots. But we'll see.

Oooh... could you do a Loroi versus human basketball game?

The thread about main cast character questions had me laugh well.

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2561

I figure you could get a little mileage out of it... since Loroi/human interactions are literally full of potential for humor.

Accotding to Arioch Loroi are not touchy feely, and massage is kinda alien to them.
Stillstorm is unlikely to make a showing, but I would LOL at her response if a human offered her a massage.

Her first thought would probably be, "Do you know who I am?!"

[wolf329]

What, a game of "handegg" wasn't enough human/loroi sporting matches for you?

[Bamax]

What, a game of "handegg" wasn't enough human/loroi sporting matches for you?

Forgot you did that one!

And no... never a such thing as too much humor.
What I wanna see is tiny nerdy Beryl dunk on an NBA player like Lebron or Jordan... thanks to a little help from our most well known Teidar.

Will be even funnier if humans realize the Loroi cheat, and Tempo would likely be shaking her head in embarassment while telepathically screaming... or she may just be amused by the whole siituation.

[wolf329]

Remember that Teidars have strength, but little control...

[Quickdraw101]

Remember that Teidars have strength, but little control...

That's Fireblade your thinking of, Teidar with training have excellent control, just not the fine control of a Mizol.

[wolf329]

I'm still imaging Fireblade shrugging as Beryl struggles to extricate herself from being flung onto the backboard.

[Bamax]

I'm still imaging Fireblade shrugging as Beryl struggles to extricate herself from being flung onto the backboard.

If Fireblade is that bad, I would imagine she would tell Beryl as much to save her a possible injury and keep Fireblade from getting in trouble.

Instead she would add some oomph to one of Beryl's shots.

Too much though... like a baseball hit out of the park, the basketball goes flying off into the sky, never to be seen intact again as a telling gun-shot like air pop occurs several blocks away when the ball blows up on hitting the pavement.

At which point perhaps Fireblade is trying to looj inconspicious looking at her feet or something while Beryl gives het a quick glare.

Meanwhile Talon and Spiral are holding back barely suppressed laughter.

[wolf329]

Chapter-esque 2

Negotiations proceeded as they do. Posturing and almost naked arrogance on the part of the human delegates. Contempt for an perceived underdeveloped species on the part of the loroi. Amongst the former, debate on the coming structural changes contact with an advanced civilization could wrought between polities on Earth; a seismic shift from learning their insignificant place in the universe, and a call from many sides for a more unified world government to better adapt to them. For the latter, confusion and frustration as they attempted to alternately debate and cajole a species impervious to sanzai, yet who by every sense and appearance should be able to converse in it.

In truth, regardless of our differences, by this point the nation states of Earth had come to an agreement that we shared a common enemy, and there was merely the manner of how we would deal with the threat together. Moreover, while there was no genetic similarity whatsoever between us, the gathering and worrying consensus amongst the listels was humans were almost certainly a precusor template species to ourselves, much as the Nibiren were to the Barsam, but in this case rather than being a simple backwards species of little consequence we were on near equal terms. In a way, we were negotiating not only with a new species, but also with our hallowed ancestors.

If that is what humanity truly was. To me, the glimpses of sanzai that Ensign Jardin had carefully and with reservation shared with myself and a few members of the shuttle Highland, made me surer than the most liberal listel that it was so. Without question the functionality that permitted its usage to we Loroi was present within Humans as well. Whether as a precursor not yet fully functional, an atrophied degenerated form that had once been as powerful as ours, or even a dormant ability recently activated by exposure to sanzai, that was the mystery. Only the highest levels of mizols and the few members of the crew of the Highland, as well as a few select commanders of the upper-most ranks of the TCA were aware of this bombshell. Not even the Emperor herself had been given that information.

Yet for all their rancor in negotiations the humans could compartmentalize it; abruptly shifting to convivial drinkers and back slappers the moment the doors of the meeting hall swung open to release us. Which was when my true task began. Talking. Listening. A little beguiling. Learning the truths between the lies. All the standard duties of a mizol. To gain a little advantage, I wore a loaned human female garment which despite its coverage still far more than hinted at my figure and even included a slit nearly to my hips on one side, much to the scandal of my loroi subordinates. While I couldn't read human minds, when they were only thinking about one thing it was easier to loosen lips; I had noticed how tongue-tied Ensign Jardin began to grow around Listel Beryl over the days.


♫... material Loroi... ♫

One night I pretended to be far more intoxicated than I actually was to a much drunker and younger subordinate to a ranking diplomat and asked him to walk me "home". Mostly because of a pill or two surreptitiously taken which allowed me, as Major Hogan would put it, to drink a human twice my mass under the table. As he led me back to the hotel I learned some very interesting things about interstellar trades routes as I dodged his roaming hands. Further intelligence gathering stymied, unfortunately, at the building's door by several soldiers and Major Hogan himself. My new friend bid me goodnight as the guards sent him stumbling on his way towards a nearby taxi.

"Good evening, Major," I said, and tried to adopt a sway to my step. He raised an eyebrow. "That won't work I suppose."

"Unlike the attache to the German ambassador, I'm married, and I'm not drunk," he said. "And I'm willing to bet neither are you."

I sighed and straightened up, although I over-corrected and staggered a bit. Maybe I had drank past the limits of accelerated narcotic inhibitors. "Anybody care to help a lady to her room?" I said. He shot a look at the private about to eagerly assist, and offered his arm. I took his shoulder. It was oddly necessary.

"I understand you have responsibilities," he said as we made our way upstairs. "Please understand mine?"

"Protect the pretty blue space 'elf'?" I said. Then hiccuped.

"From trouble and from getting into trouble. Word of warning?" he said, "Every human knows the mizol caste are 'diplomats' and probably every species in the galaxy knows 'diplomat' is just a polite word for 'spy'."

"Shhshssh," I said. "Not so loud. You humans are terrible at... dis... diplomacy."

He stopped in front of my room. "Are you sure you're alright? Do you need to see a... um... doranzer?"

I shook my head, "No. I'm fine."

I tried to open my door, but it rotated to the ceiling.

~~~~

My pillow smelled odd. I raised my head. Instead of my small though still luxurious state room, I was in the quarters of my human female guards.

"Morning, sunshine," Lt. Hardin said as I inched my way upright. She handed me a-

"What is this?" I said. I sniffed at the tiny cup. A rich, musky odor. I sipped it, and coughed. Somewhat like noillir though a quite different flavor; strong and astringent, but almost cloyingly sweet as well.

"Espresso, with enough sugar to count as a meal, at least for you," she said with a grin. "The major dropped you off with us. He knew you needed watching, but wasn't sure how to tell his wife he didn't come home because he'd spent the night in the hotel room of a drunk loroi."

I snorted and coughed on my second sip. "Surely she realizes that he is an honorable man. He could have just told her I am over twice his age."

"You have *got* to share your skin care regimen with us, hun," Sgt. Staton said with a grin.

"First, be born a loroi," I replied, and as they laughed, "Sorry."

Later at the office, as I prepped two new mizols as to local protocol, the major stopped by.

"You still under the weather?" he said.

Silently I appreciated him using slang terms in front of my subordinates as I wasn't exactly proud of my actions the previous night. "I am fine," I replied. "By the way, these are Mizol Romessat Clearbreeze and Mizol Romessat Stonebrook. They will be taking over some of my duties while I am on a cultural edification tour this week."

"It is a pleasure to meet you?" Stonebrook said as she gave a thin smile and reached out her hand. Major Hogan nodded and shook it.

"Likewise, romessat," he said. Clearbreeze made no move to do likewise until I prodded her with sanzai, then sheepishly responded in kind. "Romessat Clearbreeze, a pleasure."

<It is like shaking hands with an automaton,> Clearbreeze burst out as she shook his hand.

<Are you trying to get reprimanded again?> Stonebrook replied.

"As this is your first posting," I said, "I encourage you to practice your verbal skills as much as possible. You should be aware that humans tend to consider it rude if you refuse to speak in front of them, but as mizols that shouldn't be an issue?"

"Yes, Parat Tempo!" they quickly responded in unison. I noticed the major was holding back a smile.

"Continue your duties. You will be expected in the meeting hall at ten local time periods," I said, then turned to leave with the major. We made our way down the hall as he chuckled.

"Butterbars are the same everywhere I see," he said.

Eager as always to learn new human slang, I replied, "Butterbars?"

"Oh, the standard insignia for the lowest ranking officers for much of this nation's history has been a single gold bar," he said, "which looks like a stick of butter. Um, a milk byproduct."

"It is amazing how the animal husbandry of this single species has influenced so much of your culture," I said.

He shrugged. "We like milk, what can I say?"

"It was an interesting thing to learn about," I said. "Even amongst my homeworld's culture, which is more adventurous than the standard loroi, there is nothing even remotely equivalent."

"I gotta be honest and wonder, that's not exactly something that'd would come up in normal discussion," he said with a raised eyebrow. "How did you learn about it?"

"Well..." I explained Ensign Jardin's request to Listel Beryl when he first tried noillir.

The major's laughter echoed through the halls.

[Cthulhu]

It looks like Tempo is enjoying her vacation mission on Earth.

But I think that "hallowed ancestors" may be too much. The humans are just the template, while the honorific should belong to the Soia.

[Snoofman]

Typical Mizol behavior: learn everything you can behind enemy lines- >ahem< I mean while on diplomatic business. I like it! Awesome chapter. Though I wonder how much could Tempo extract from a lower ranking cadet.

Also I think Tempo will soon learn why human females are picky about men.

[wolf329]

It looks like Tempo is enjoying her vacation mission on Earth.

But I think that "hallowed ancestors" may be too much. The humans are just the template, while the honorific should belong to the Soia.

True, but it should read as being a bit sarcastic; I am going on the basis that Tempo is smart enough to be aware the concept of the Loroi being directly descended from the Soia is mostly unsubstantiated propaganda. And if humans are the "template" species and the Loroi are simply another genegineered race, we are the "hallowed ancestors".

[Kensai]

I wanna say, I am enjoying this writing exercise of yours. Stellar stuff and a nice change of pace. IT doesn't need to be a graphic novel; you paint a good picture with words and I can picture the people and such around them.

[wolf329]

I'm struggling to write a bridging between this last part and the already written main action, but it will come.

[Kensai]

More filler pieces or stories of Tempo's adventures on Terra.

Its flavoring and can help make the rest of the story more interesting and enhance its telling.