[Fan Fiction] Notes and discussion for "A sword that wields itself"

[Cthulhu]

Beryl is actually more hyper in sanzai than she is speech... which is amusing but that is her native 'language', besides the whole thinking out loud that Loroi literally do witj sanzai.

Beryl is far easier to write since we have her character sheet. She seems to have a number of "bad" character traits, Impulsive (-10), Easy to read (-10) and Curious (-5) are certainly a quirky combination. Let's see if she can keep her Xenophilia (-5) in check.

Love how you incorporated the fearsome threesome into the escort party. Beware of the Mizols! If the humans catch on that the Mizols are snooping for information, this could give them reason to go on the defensive with their would-be loroi allies. Emberwing and her compatriots better tread carefully.

They are just going to accompany them to the Azimol citadel, where they can experiment with the farseer amplifier. It's a most likely uneventful voyage of maybe two or three days, not nearly enough time for some serious snooping around.

[Kensai]

war of annihilation.... well, we sorta knew it was. The why you give is a strong reason. I really hope the TErrans have some decent fire power- the Bugs will try to hunt it down for sure.

[Cthulhu]

war of annihilation.... well, we sorta knew it was. The why you give is a strong reason. I really hope the TErrans have some decent fire power- the Bugs will try to hunt it down for sure.

Most genocides, wars or interventions were given a "proper" reason to justify them, if not for the pages of history, then at least for the own population. The Hierarchy has learned the hard way that it is impossible to pacify the Loroi, thus it's likely that they invented some sort of justification for the inevitable xenocide as well. Or maybe there's more to it?

I've tried to give the Umiak commander a somewhat different thought pattern, but it turned out to be too confusing. Therefore, it's now written as an somewhat unstructured flow of thoughts, not yet assembled into the stacks that form the basis of the Umiak language.

The Humans are not (yet) strong or advanced enough to simply stamp out the bugs. Well, some sort of victory is of course inevitable, but the way there may be long and unpredictable...

[Bamax]

Nice.... did not expect any POV from the Umiak. It's quite apt that his suspicions ARE at least somewhat correct, but his monomania won't let him investigate further. Yet. Unless it becomes necessary or easy to do so by an open opportunity.

Sounds like even Captain Kirk would have the same disadvantage, inasmuch he often had monomaniacal tendencies, and only due to him being the star of the show was he more often hero than royal screw up.

I know comparing Kirk to an ugly and scary Umiak may sound odd, but they do have that much in common.

Looking forward to how this develops.

Given their resources and monomania, the Shells are not someone you can hope to win via attrition. All that does is give them just enough time to figure out how to win.

[Cthulhu]

Nice.... did not expect any POV from the Umiak. It's quite apt that his suspicions ARE at least somewhat correct, but his monomania won't let him investigate further. Yet. Unless it becomes necessary or easy to do so by an open opportunity.

I hope that the Umiak commander was alien enough without being unintelligible. From what I understood of the Umiak language, it's utterly confusing, so their thought patterns should be even more chaotic.

Sounds like even Captain Kirk would have the same disadvantage, inasmuch he often had monomaniacal tendencies, and only due to him being the star of the show was he more often hero than royal screw up.

That was more due to him being a ham actor, but at least it was hilarious at times. Let's see who will have the last laugh in this battle.

[inxsi]

Been busy so I haven't read the intermission yet.

I do wonder if the Historians would be as hostile to the Loroi in this case or would be more worried about Humanity. It might just be the loroi used to thinking that the Historians are underhanded against the Loroi though.

I feel like Stillstorm mentoring Emberwing will either drive Emberwing insane or to an aneurysm Enjoying Stillstorm as a philosopher.

Interesting to fit Beryl in as the most suitable listel, and fitting Fireblade in. I wonder if the dreams will end up more interesting with Fireblade there or if the humans will start also having bad dreams. I suppose Fireblade is also able to look after herself telepathically despite her dream issues so is not just there for her telekinesis. Looking forward to seeing what happens with it.

I don't think either side knows if the other has powers beyond telepathy but I don't remember for sure.

[Cthulhu]

I do wonder if the Historians would be as hostile to the Loroi in this case or would be more worried about Humanity. It might just be the loroi used to thinking that the Historians are underhanded against the Loroi though.

I wonder what device the Pocket Historian installed itself on...

I feel like Stillstorm mentoring Emberwing will either drive Emberwing insane or to an aneurysm Enjoying Stillstorm as a philosopher.

She is far too young to suffer an aneurysm, but Stillstorm's command style or her penchant for philosophy will be quite difficult to adapt to.

Interesting to fit Beryl in as the most suitable listel, and fitting Fireblade in. I wonder if the dreams will end up more interesting with Fireblade there or if the humans will start also having bad dreams. I suppose Fireblade is also able to look after herself telepathically despite her dream issues so is not just there for her telekinesis. Looking forward to seeing what happens with it.

The Mizol is wary of the possibility of the Humans being able to read them, and she picked Beryl for her skills. We have the character sheets for all 3 of them, you see. Tempo has a mind-shield skill rating of 16, which is, according to GURPS, upper expert-level. Beryl, however, is not very far behind and can sport a whopping 15. Fireblade, with a mere 12 points, is a bit lacking, but I doubt that anyone wants to get into her head.

I don't think either side knows if the other has powers beyond telepathy but I don't remember for sure.

Nope, this has to wait until they get to Azimol...

[Bamax]

Ha... I would like to think the Umiak commander is an idealist of sorts who only does what he does for the greater good and will stop once it is done.

Like if the Umiak were willing to chill out and stop being total slave drivers to all once the Loroi were exterminated... that would show that at heart... they kind of mean well?

I mean killing the Loroi is ehthically wrong to us... but if all the wrongs the Umiak have done was to end the threat the Loroi poised, and not for the more obvious selfish reasons that human powers usually choose, and if they were willing to be kind afterward to those that remained who are not Loroi or similar... that would be something.


Does not make the Umiak good by any measure, but at least gives them the somewhat distant potential to be so.. although a popular saying is that good intentions pave the road leading to doom.


Kinda reminds me of the Ur Quan masters from Star Control II.

Technically... the Umiak are almost on par with the green Ur Quan for being 'nice'.... still better than the black Ur Quan who were more or less wannabe kill-everything-not -dalek daleks

[Cthulhu]

The Ur-Quan had a "proper" reason to do what they did. Fearing a repeat of the Dnyarri psychic enslavement, they decided to be rather proactive regarding their security. It was seen as a necessary measure not only to safeguard themselves, but to prevent another Taalo incident. Or, they went a bit nuts. Most probably both.

The Umiak are favoring the green way for the most part, but the Loroi resistance forced them to go black on their blue posteriors.

[Bamax]

Enjoyed the latest banter of the 'sisters'.

Beryl is arguably the highest strung of the group, while Fireblade is cool and sarcastic.... seemingly playing the macho role... only she is female.

I dunno why, but Fireblade seems much of the same character as your Stillstorm, yet Beryl, Tempo, and Emberwing all seem more distinct.

Also, I suppose she is mostly infamous for her dreams leaking out.

I suppose... if it humors her or if Beryl spikes her ire enough, she could always scare her.

But Beryl probably knows and has seen enough from memory that few things beyond her phobia of open dry spaces bothers her.

[Cthulhu]

Fireblade doesn't speak, and is therefore hard to write. Maybe she is actually quite lonely, because most others, especially non-Teidar, might find her, The Beast of Seren, simply terrifying. The Loroi also consider warriors that survived against impossible odds, especially where everyone else died, to be "bad luck".
For this occasion, she tried to play the cool one and was also encouraged by Stillstrom to have a go with humor in order to loosen up. Well, it went just as bad as it sounded, so she'll revert to her normal demeanor quick enough. Unless Alex manages to provoke her, that is. Finally, every other caste can't pass up on the opportunity to have a laugh at the expense of a Mizol.

Beryl is just hyper and doesn't know where to begin. Just about everything is far too interesting, and she is well versed in several scientific fields, after all.

[Bamax]

Fireblade doesn't speak, and is therefore quite hard to write. Maybe she is actually quite lonely, because most others, especially non-Teidar, might find her, The Beast of Seren, simply terrifying. The Loroi also consider warriors that survived against impossible odds, especially where everyone else died, to be "bad luck".
For this occasion, she tried to play the cool one and was also encouraged by Stillstrom to have a go with humor in order to loosen up. Well, it went just as bad as it sounded, so she'll revert to her normal demeanor quick enough. Unless Alex manages to provoke her, that is. Finally, every other caste can't pass up on the opportunity to have a laugh at the expense of a Mizol.

Beryl is just hyper and doesn't know where to begin. Just about everything is far too interesting, and she is well versed in several scientific fields, after all.

Fireblade too has a character card as does Tempo.

Yeah... I enjoyed the earlier chapter scene where Tempo requested medical treatment upon which a Loroi orderly rebuffed her with "Get it on your own ship!!

And also how when Tempo mentioned her authority and title someone joked, "Oh that's terminal then!"


I suppose a certain level of non-professionalism is endemic when telepathy is so widedpread, but it is amusing.


I dunno if the average Loroi is envious that a Mizol is emperor, or if Mizol are envied for having abilities no one else has and opportunitee as well.

You could say the same of Teidar, but they have less freedom than Mizol do.

In a sense. MIzol are the single moat free to do whatever they like Loroi that exist.

So long they can justify it for the good of the Loroi Empire.... I mean union (although folks like embering really don't, preferring the Loroi be top dogs).

[Cthulhu]

The Mizol are also viewed with suspicion because they are trained in the intricate ways of spoken language, something that most other Loroi disdain. It's seen as frivolous at best, or dishonorable at worst. While they are a necessary evil, it's still a rather odd position in the Byzantine labyrinth of Loroi rank hierarchy.

I studied Fireblade's character sheet. While things like "rarely smiles" or "stubborn" are easier to write, what about "Bloodlust" or "post-combat shakes"? Together with her raw telekinetic power and "Berserk", that's a frightening combination. Considering that the Loroi are very honest, how would it feel if her own crew-sisters are terrified of her? I doubt that many Commanders would consider employing her aboard their ships, but Stillstorm is tough enough to handle that, I guess.

Anyway, Beryl is rather objective regarding her, and understands Alex' sarcasm as praise instead. Beryl is either convinced that Fireblade is the best guard one could wish for, or she is perhaps friends with her?

P.S. If the audience wishes for more Loroi telepathic banter, then I shall deliver.

[Bamax]

The Mizol are also viewed with suspicion because they are trained in the intricate ways of spoken language, something that most other Loroi disdain. It's seen as frivolous at best, or dishonorable at worst. While they are a necessary evil, it's still a rather odd position in the Byzantine labyrinth of Loroi rank hierarchy.

I studied Fireblade's character sheet. While things like "rarely smiles" or "stubborn" are easier to write, what about "Bloodlust" or "post-combat shakes"? Together with her raw telekinetic power and "Berserk", that's a frightening combination. Considering that the Loroi are very honest, how would it feel if her own crew-sisters are terrified of her? I doubt that many Commanders would consider employing her aboard their ships, but Stillstorm is tough enough to handle that, I guess.

Anyway, Beryl is rather objective regarding her, and understands Alex' sarcasm as praise instead. Beryl is either convinced that Fireblade is the best guard one could wish for, or she is perhaps friends with her?

P.S. If the audience wishes for more Loroi telepathic banter, then I shall deliver.

You already know my feelings on that.. but at the same time I recommend never letting your audience take over where your story goes either, as they can ruin what you started.

Also so long Fireblade never killed a fellow Loroi because she felt it necessary to do so, I would think Loroi have little reason to fear her.

She is stronger than the shells. I would want her as my superhero friend.

Possible reasons why a loroi may kill another on Ssren would be if somehow, unlikely as it sounds a few Loroi became friends with a few shells who were kinder than most on Seren and tried to protect them from Fireblade as perhaps a few Umiak were sumpathic to the Loroi.

Fireblade would probably slaughter them all.

A more likely scenario is the Umiak thinking using loroi as body shields would help.

And Fireblade would kill everything near and around a umiak due to a lack of precision of her powers.

[Krulle]

SpoilerShow

Chapter XIX: The Return

[...]

“That sounded like professional praise.” Fireblade maintained a neutral expression and tone. "Or self-criticism."
The last sentence by Fireblade lacks the italics tags.

[Cthulhu]

You already know my feelings on that.. but at the same time I recommend never letting your audience take over where your story goes either, as they can ruin what you started.

Don't worry, this chapter was planned to be that way, I simply added an extra portion of telepathic banter.

Also so long Fireblade never killed a fellow Loroi because she felt it necessary to do so, I would think Loroi have little reason to fear her.

She is stronger than the shells. I would want her as my superhero friend.

Possible reasons why a loroi may kill another on Ssren would be if somehow, unlikely as it sounds a few Loroi became friends with a few shells who were kinder than most on Seren and tried to protect them from Fireblade as perhaps a few Umiak were sumpathic to the Loroi.

Fireblade would probably slaughter them all.

A more likely scenario is the Umiak thinking using loroi as body shields would help.

And Fireblade would kill everything near and around a umiak due to a lack of precision of her powers.

While I agree that Fireblade is in control of her powers, there might be a hypothetical instance of an accident. If she leaks her nightmares, then she also might "leak" some telekinesis as well. I wouldn't want to be the one to wake her up... some people with PTSD can be irrationally aggressive if not yet fully lucid.

SpoilerShow

Chapter XIX: The Return

[...]

“That sounded like professional praise.” Fireblade maintained a neutral expression and tone. "Or self-criticism."
The last sentence by Fireblade lacks the italics tags.

Thanks, I'll correct that.

[Krulle]

Liked it very much, thank you.
Sorry, got interrupted, and simply posted it as it was at that moment.

:)

[Cthulhu]

Liked it very much, thank you.
Sorry, got interrupted, and simply posted it as it was at that moment.

What could've been even more importanter than my masterpiece?

Thanks for the praise, it shall keep me encouraged. Here's a spoiler as a reward:

SpoilerShow

The Dreiman crew was of course not alive Poor doggos had crumbled to dust several millennia ago.

[Krulle]

Family. My work.
In that order.
My personal enjoyment comes after that. Sorry.

And thank you for the spoiler.
That was a real surprise for me.

SpoilerShow

Didn't expect their shielding to fail to a degree, that even DNA for artificial recreation was permanently destroyed by the stray particles from the sins near the parked ship....

[Cthulhu]

Family. My work.
In that order.
My personal enjoyment comes after that. Sorry.

You don't have to apologize, that was just a joke. Similar circumstances have distracted me as well, thus delaying the latest chapter. Initially, I wanted to post it on Monday...

And thank you for the spoiler.
That was a real surprise for me.

SpoilerShow

Didn't expect their shielding to fail to a degree, that even DNA for artificial recreation was permanently destroyed by the stray particles from the sins near the parked ship....

SpoilerShow

Well, that wreck was floating in space for at least half a million years. It also wasn't mentioned in what state it was, beyond that some machines weren't a total loss.