Writing Prompts

A spot for collections of Outsider-related original fan fiction and related works.

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Krulle
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Krulle »

Yes, she is.
But again, she partly brought this on herself.
Stopping a ship in the middle of a war needs a very good reason.
Information security may be one, but can also be achieved by limiting what this particular ship is allowed to send to others, and installing a self-destruct safety system which triggers if the ship stops fighting in the middle of a fight... (because it may have been compromised).
There are other ways to make sure the ship doesn't become a da ger to the remaining fleet, while keeping it active.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

novius
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Really need to get back into the swing of things as well, but there's a lot of stuff pulling me into several different directions at once.

inxsi
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by inxsi »

Glad to see Beacons continuing and seeing people contributing to it and discussing it. I don't really have much to add for discussion - I think I need to at least skim over the story again to refresh my memory since it has been a long time since I last read it.

entity2636
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by entity2636 »

Same here! Glad the story continues, as this, IMO, is among the best Outsider fanfics.

Curious, with most people either in lockdown or working/studying remotely, one would imagine them and the creative people especially, to be, for a lack of a better term, more productive? Speaking as someone who's unafected by lockdowns and low on free time as always...

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

entity2636 wrote:
Sun Mar 07, 2021 2:59 pm
Same here! Glad the story continues, as this, IMO, is among the best Outsider fanfics.

Curious, with most people either in lockdown or working/studying remotely, one would imagine them and the creative people especially, to be, for a lack of a better term, more productive? Speaking as someone who's unafected by lockdowns and low on free time as always...
Having free time and being creative is at best something that is only vaguely contemporary with each other. I contributed the most on Beacons when I was working a full time job and had little time to spare and I couldn't write anything when I had near eight months of being a full on NEETdom. Currently I am back at working a full time night job which allows me to write for a couple of hours each day when I am not faffing around on the internet; forcing myself to also do some creative 'work' is also beneficial.
Last edited by dragoongfa on Sun Mar 07, 2021 6:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Werra
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

dragoongfa wrote:I had near eight months of being a full on NEETdom
Kinky. :oops:
SpoilerShow
Neetdom is the state of being a NEET. A dom is something else.

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

Werra wrote:
Sun Mar 07, 2021 4:21 pm
dragoongfa wrote:I had near eight months of being a full on NEETdom
Kinky. :oops:
SpoilerShow
Neetdom is the state of being a NEET. A dom is something else.
I liked being a NEET, I relished in it, all of the time to myself to do as I please. I mainly gamed and slept; so in a sense the NEET life dominated my critical thinking :P

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

Some necessary character development/exploration for Fireblade who years ago learned the hard way why old warriors are to be feared, even if they look decrepit. They are old because they survived for a reason.

EDIT: I had also planned for this part to also include the 'duel' but I haven't really pictured how it will pan out exactly. I know exactly how it will end but not exactly how it will get there.

Kensai
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Kensai »

dragoongfa wrote:
Mon Mar 08, 2021 3:35 am
Some necessary character development/exploration for Fireblade who years ago learned the hard way why old warriors are to be feared, even if they look decrepit. They are old because they survived for a reason.

EDIT: I had also planned for this part to also include the 'duel' but I haven't really pictured how it will pan out exactly. I know exactly how it will end but not exactly how it will get there.
Beautiful work as always.

There are old warriors.... and bold warriors... there are very very few old and bold.

Lake... is a wonderful and strong side character. Kinda a stereotype, to be sure... but one that is solid because they are *REAL*. Absolutely, positively, and most assuredly real. I've met them.... and at times, I've *been* one to some hotshot youngling who needed to learn the other lessons besides just fighting. And I find pleasure when they *learn*...

Very much like Lake in that fashion, I think, if I have her figured out right from what you wrote. I salute you and your writing, sir.
The Philosophical Kensai

Still trying to master my craft...
As all Saints of the Sword do.

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mwightman
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by mwightman »

dragoongfa wrote:
Mon Mar 08, 2021 3:35 am
Some necessary character development/exploration for Fireblade who years ago learned the hard way why old warriors are to be feared, even if they look decrepit. They are old because they survived for a reason.
I spent a few years in the military. When I was a young private, there was this time (not band camp) where I was doing a tasking not up this old Sargent's standards or to his liking. OMG I was kinda looking forward to vacationing on the 5th level of Hell by the time he finished re-educating me on military standards.

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Quickdraw101
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Quickdraw101 »

"Beware an old man in a profession where men die young." That's a fairly accurate description for Lake.

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Werra
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

Writing something Outsider related in a language other than English is strange. It turns out the German translation for farseer is television.

inxsi
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by inxsi »

Man, now I'm back to feeling sorry for Shortleaf. She screwed up, but someone should have stopped her before it got anywhere close to this point. I'm thinking Shortleaf survives the beating, but I'm wondering what her rank ends up at (assuming she stays a warrior... which I suppose may not be the case :shock: ).

Excellent writing and very enjoyable.

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Quickdraw101
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Quickdraw101 »

Fireblade won't kill her, but she'll put pain in her body.

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

In the end I concluded that the duel would best be served with Tempo being the POV character instead of Fireblade. Now as to Shortleaf, her body is bruised beyong recognition, her nose broken and she left her hair onto the sand alongside her blood but punishment is not over yet.

Kensai
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Kensai »

dragoongfa wrote:
Mon Mar 15, 2021 4:38 am
In the end I concluded that the duel would best be served with Tempo being the POV character instead of Fireblade. Now as to Shortleaf, her body is bruised beyong recognition, her nose broken and she left her hair onto the sand alongside her blood but punishment is not over yet.
Having fought with quarterstaff, I want you to know I pictured more or less exactly how both combatants held their weapons.... and the description of the strikes to me were spot on enough to be fully realized in my mental construction of the battle.

A person who knows what they are doing... will absolutely punish an opponent with no skill. Mind you, the first rule of the Dueling Circle is leave the anger OUTSIDE... Its ok to be mad but fighting with anger on the surface almost always distracts.

For Fireblade (who was angry all the time until recently), its a focus instead of a distraction. Big difference. :twisted:

Well done.

As for Alex... perhaps he's gotten over wanting to beat the shit out of Shortleaf? I'm not sure he'd have responded in that fashion there.... I mean, one of the catch phrases used among us grunts is "Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid prizes..." And Shortleaf decidedly did both here.

I'm not writing this, y'all are. And its a minor quibble. Otherwise.... all of you involved in this story just plain rock and I look forward to every entry.

Meanwhile, I need to get my own writing going again.
The Philosophical Kensai

Still trying to master my craft...
As all Saints of the Sword do.

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

Kensai wrote:
Mon Mar 15, 2021 2:26 pm
dragoongfa wrote:
Mon Mar 15, 2021 4:38 am
In the end I concluded that the duel would best be served with Tempo being the POV character instead of Fireblade. Now as to Shortleaf, her body is bruised beyong recognition, her nose broken and she left her hair onto the sand alongside her blood but punishment is not over yet.
As for Alex... perhaps he's gotten over wanting to beat the shit out of Shortleaf? I'm not sure he'd have responded in that fashion there.... I mean, one of the catch phrases used among us grunts is "Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid prizes..." And Shortleaf decidedly did both here.

I'm not writing this, y'all are. And its a minor quibble. Otherwise.... all of you involved in this story just plain rock and I look forward to every entry.

Meanwhile, I need to get my own writing going again.
It's the difference in culture in action. For Alex dueling is wasteful and from the distant past. For the Loroi is a part of their life and where honor is brutally fought over.

Think how someone from a western nation who fully adheres to a 'rehabilitation' form of imprisonment would react seeing a public flogging. He fully believes that Shortleaf should be punished but he thinks that it would be better if this was done so through the means of punishment that he is culturally comfortable with, not a cruel and unusual form of physical punishment.

inxsi
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by inxsi »

Enjoying the update. I do wonder if this will impact Alex's relationship with Fireblade or any of the others, or if they will remind him of his own initial bloodthirsty response to Shortleaf. You would think with the open and honest nature of sanzai she would have realized to stop digging instead of renting the turbo-digger 9000, but at least she avoided a second duel. I half expected her second to not stop her.

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GeoModder
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by GeoModder »

That was... surprisingly short.
I expected it to last until our lacking Soroin asked to forfeit the duel.
Image

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

GeoModder wrote:
Mon Mar 15, 2021 4:37 pm
That was... surprisingly short.
I expected it to last until our lacking Soroin asked to forfeit the duel.
This is what I was struggling with regarding this part: How long to draw out something that was a foregone conclusion. There is only so many ways to beat somebody who is already down before becoming the somewhat boring and detestable cliche of the 'big and capable fighter' beats down an 'inept idiot' who had it coming until they learn the moral of their lesson; after a while it becomes a chore for everyone involved: The one doing the beat down, the spectators, the victim and in a 4th wall breaking twist the writer themselves.

I could write in detail the way Fireblade mentally planned all her strikes and the intent behind them, how she simultaneously mentally taunted Shortleaf at every strike; how she mentally cornered Shortleaf into doggedly clinging into not forfeiting in order to prove that she still had some warrior pride in herself. With Fireblade becoming disgusted at this development because all could have been avoided if Shortleaf had exhibited the same pride by doing her duties as were expected of her instead of trying to draw out some personal pleasure and finally seeking to flee her position as soon as possible instead of ensuring that all ships were fully combat capable.

I could write how Fireblade berated Shortleaf for the Soroin not being a proper warrior while her hair and nose were still intact after she finished cutting Shortleaf's hair off; with Shortleaf accepting her loss as a proper warrior should have, showing that despite her many faults the Soroin was still a full fledged Loroi warrior who had the potential to redeem herself. I could also write how Alex fully received everything that Fireblade experienced in a similar way that Beryl and Fireblade 'receive' everything when Alex is having sex.

I could try to write all of the above but I don't know how I could manage all this without making a mess of it. Best to write everything down piecemeal through a couple of character development installments that would have people looking back into this part instead of trying to cram everything together into an onesided 'duel' that lasted about five minutes or so.

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