Writing Prompts

[entity2636]

I'd stand by my suggestion a few pages back that the portal should be either some sort of wormhole generator, a.k.a. a stargate, creating a tunnel in hyperspace through which matter and information could travel nearly instantaneously, or work on a principle similar to a Gravity Drive (courtesy of Event Horizon (tm), generating a compact singularity that folds the spacetime continuum so that two points in realspace coexist for a short period of time, allowing a near instantaneous travel between them, not a Star Trek'esque matter-energy-matter conversion teleporter, because while all three are science fiction/techno babble, the first two at least have some grounding in real theoretical physics, while the third is techno magic.

Also, the portal on Earth must have been destroyed in the process of moving Nathan, else it most certainly would have been discovered by now (the 2160s), because already in the actual "now" practically every square centimetre of the Earth's surface has been explored to some degree.

By the way, FTL in normal space is impossible due to relativity, causality and energy requirements (basically, as you approach c, the energy requirement approaches infinity), that's why to have FTL you need to somehow "cheat the math" by somehow "removing" the moving object from normal space - either with an Alcubierre drive (Warp drive), or any form of hyperdrive/jump drive/gravity drive/wormhole that either folds the spacetime or moves the object through a higher-dimensional space where distance between two points is considerably smaller.

We don't have to reinvent the wheel when it comes to sci-fi tech, there already is a plethora of commonly accepted sci-fi tech and FTL technologies invented and backed up with the appropriate "science" that we can pick from

[Werra]

I'll be honest, the last two parts of Beacons have been difficult for me. I don't see any possibility for the characters to act that way.

1. What has Tempo even done to Alex? She refused to send a message that could potentially cause civil strife in the Union during a time of total war. Big whoop, that's all according to orders. That she tried to shave her head I can sort of make work as an act of desperation.
2. Stillstorm would never just blast out state secrets across her whole fleet. She'd demand to know them, but would not hand them out to all hands in her fleet. Before she had listened to Alex and given that kind of order, she would have made them tell her the truth. That Alex somehow bullies her into doing that is impossible.
3. Tempo would have told Stillstorm everything before the order went through just to minimize damage, making Stillstorm maintain secrecy on this intel.
4. Alex is still not safe from Duskcrown, since the problem of getting these messages out of system remains. You better believe that a military dictatorship with an extremely weak concept of privacy has ways to control their own computer systems.

I'm sorry guys. It's a fun read and the revelations about humanity take the story onto a new level. But it's just not...the behaviour leading up to it is just not believable.

Could you perhabs give me their thought processes on some of these decisions?

[Zarya]

Also, the portal on Earth must have been destroyed in the process of moving Nathan, else it most certainly would have been discovered by now (the 2160s), because already in the actual "now" practically every square centimetre of the Earth's surface has been explored to some degree.

Perhaps it will be different in Alex’ time, the 2160s, but we know surprisingly little about what’s happening in the Earth’s crust and on Ocean floors. We can’t easily find lost aircraft the size of Boeing 777s and also on land it will be hard to find a concealed or covered structure that measures ~10 m / 32 ft across. For all we know someone built a house on it in modern Ohio because they liked the Penrose tiling patterns.

We don't have to reinvent the wheel when it comes to sci-fi tech, there already is a plethora of commonly accepted sci-fi tech and FTL technologies invented and backed up with the appropriate "science" that we can pick from

I’d also prefer near instant zapping or space/time merging to from A to B. We can even throw in a biofilter to prevent cross contamination between worlds

[dragoongfa]

I'll be honest, the last two parts of Beacons have been difficult for me. I don't see any possibility for the characters to act that way.

1. What has Tempo even done to Alex? She refused to send a message that could potentially cause civil strife in the Union during a time of total war. Big whoop, that's all according to orders. That she tried to shave her head I can sort of make work as an act of desperation.
2. Stillstorm would never just blast out state secrets across her whole fleet. She'd demand to know them, but would not hand them out to all hands in her fleet. Before she had listened to Alex and given that kind of order, she would have made them tell her the truth. That Alex somehow bullies her into doing that is impossible.
3. Tempo would have told Stillstorm everything before the order went through just to minimize damage, making Stillstorm maintain secrecy on this intel.
4. Alex is still not safe from Duskcrown, since the problem of getting these messages out of system remains. You better believe that a military dictatorship with an extremely weak concept of privacy has ways to control their own computer systems.

I'm sorry guys. It's a fun read and the revelations about humanity take the story onto a new level. But it's just not...the behaviour leading up to it is just not believable.

Could you perhabs give me their thought processes on some of these decisions?

Alright, I thought that some stuff were self explanatory so I thought that the next writer would cover them. If people let me have the next part I will have the above points covered after the fact.

[Werra]

Have a go at it, mate.

[entity2636]

Perhaps it will be different in Alex’ time, the 2160s, but we know surprisingly little about what’s happening in the Earth’s crust and on Ocean floors. We can’t easily find lost aircraft the size of Boeing 777s and also on land it will be hard to find a concealed or covered structure that measures ~10 m / 32 ft across. For all we know someone built a house on it in modern Ohio because they liked the Penrose tiling patterns.

Yes, but the Soia ruin isn't on the ocean floor or deep underground And I also find it amazing, how we can loose a damn airliner in this day and age where satellites from orbit can read what's on your phone's screen.

Of course, I don't know about the Americas or somewhere deep in the middle of Russia, but here in Europe I doubt exists a square metre of ground that hasn't been walked over at least once in the past 50 years, and if there is a construction project and you dig up something even remotely looking like an archaeological artifact, you have to stop your construction and call in archaeologists to survey, document and extract everything before you can go on.

Now in the 2010s Ohio appears to be the 10th most densely populated US state and the lowest population density appears to be around 10...25 ppl/sqm in the most remote areas, so I bet any Soia ruin would surely have been found (by Google Earth even, somebody curious might have found it while trying to see how their house looks from space), examined and extracted by now, if it survived, of course, which I don't see how.

[novius]

Maybe restricted areas like Area 51 exist for a reason. And Google doctoring the images presented in Google Earth is already a known fact, too - for quite some time the roof of the White House was 'greyed out', for example.

In essence, the Soia ruins may have been found and unearthed. But they may not be a widely known fact.

[Zarya]

It would be a mess when US Army Hummers suddenly drive up Chestnut Street, in Sistersville Ohio, helicopers overhead, satellites in LEO redirected to map the wider area in high resolution, including the making of extensive lidar and radar scans of the terrain.

SpoilerShow

A quick rap on the front door, the clicking of preppy heels on a tiled floor, the door opening.

A US Marine, armed to the teeth, politely telling the flabbergasted homeowner, “Ma’am, we apologize but you must vacate these premises immediately.”

“But why? I have my rights! Where is your warrant?”

“With all due respect, ma’am; the survival of humanity and its alien allies are at stake. Time is of the essence, hence we don’t need the warrant today. Here, take this mobile phone, the president wants to talk with you.”

“Okay, but don’t you dare mess with our antique patio floor!”

[dragoongfa]

Done, I hope I made things clearer and somewhat 'sensible' now and I did say no Human-Loroi hybrids so that plot line is squashed but an other titillating one was opened

[Krulle]

Nice, well done.

Heste'Blec... I reead that name before... Was it in WtdwJ?

[dragoongfa]

Yeah, it was there. Novius put it in as homage and I am running with it.

[Werra]

I'm sorry. That still makes no sense to me. Alex anger may be justifiable, since he deeply cares for Beryl, but that's his problem. I don't get how Tempo has neglected her duties or acted against Alex interests.

Stopping that message from Alex was necessary. Primarily for the sake of the Union. If she had sent it, that would have been reason for expulsion. That Alex expected that from her is not sensible. That it also saved Alex a lot of trouble is irrelevant but nice from her.

Him reminding her that he is expendable is nonsensical as well. Yeah, he is. To the Loroi too, which is why they should never give a second thought about censoring if necessary. He wasn't aware of that why? They are in a war for the existence of their species and barely holding on. Diplomatic concerns are tertiary at best.

Even her mind probing Beryl was the prudent choice. As a Listel it's her purpose to store and dispense information. A prime chance for studying this newfound AoE Lotai just can not be passed up on. If it costs a Listels life, so be it. The Loroi in SG51 are also all expendable. Not to mention the time critical nature of the whole situation. Could have been a Shell trick as well. It was literally a situation of extreme emergency. Any and all means to resolve the situation were called for. If Beryl didn't volunteer to the probe, she is the one not fulfilling her duty.

Why is Tempo so meek about this to Alex? She rolled over and Alex somehow came out the clear winner out of all of this because the Loroi let him and some deus ex machinas appeared.

The only questionable thing she did was not check her data on Deinar with the other ships. But since it was multiple times stated that this data was even above her own clearance, that can be justified. Could be reason enough for an expulsion but would be harsh.

Luckily for Alex, the universe has rearranged itself by the sudden appearance of a personal order from the Emperor. Conveniently that also protects him from Duskcrown now.
How and why a 400 year old data file that's been super buried before requires the Emperors attention is iffy. Honestly, it shows that this part was written as an afterthought. It's a possible red flag if a situation is resolved by inventing a completely new plot element. It reeks of mankind being central to the universe without having actually done something.

Test question for you all. Can you name one defeat Alex suffered in Beacons? One time where he disagreed with a Loroi and didn't get his will?

[entity2636]

Nice, well done.

Heste'Blec... I reead that name before... Was it in WtdwJ?

There were two clans - Oren Hos'te Blec and the Kol'e Blec that were in a rivalry with each other. Jardin's CO and her sister were from Kol'e Blec while he had his "incident" while visiting a Hos'te Blec temple.

[dragoongfa]

Tempo failed to pursue recovering an intact copy of the data pertaining to humanity. Big red flag and failure from her part, both against Alex and the Union.

His expectation of Tempo or Stillstorm sending the data is down to his 'trust' issues, he is meant to be somewhat unreasonable here.

Beryl's mind probe is a dire ethical dilemma, yes it was a prudent choice but not the only choice and certainly not the best one considering that it was attempted without trying to get said information out of Alex willingly before attempting this? Killing one of your own in order to protect a foreigner, even a diplomat at that? No, only a psychopath wouldn't recoil at that.

Luckily for Alex, the universe has rearranged itself by the sudden appearance of a personal order from the Emperor. Conveniently that also protects him from Duskcrown now.
How and why a 400 year old data file that's been super buried before requires the Emperors attention is iffy. Honestly, it shows that this part was written as an afterthought. It's a possible red flag if a situation is resolved by inventing a completely new plot element. It reeks of mankind being central to the universe without having actually done something.

This is a story written by at least five different people, almost none of which have ever written what they have in mind when introducing new plot elements or perils that offer a way out which doesn't result in a dead end even in defeat. Case in point: I didn't expect someone to tie in New-Frontiers nor did I expect someone to introduce a ship wide Lotai and Beryl's of screen interrogation at the same time. Hell Duskcrown being a maniac derailed what I had in mind with the political drama for Stillstorm's promotion.

My original solution for the Duskcrown hook was for Stillstorm and Tempo stonewalling Duskcrown on gaining access to Alex citing rules and regulations about allied combatants not being subjected to such investigations without cause, what I had to work with was the introduction of an even bigger plot hook that even the maniacal Duskcrown. I could work with her if she and the Shells were the only threats involved but the Lotai had to be dispelled while also saving Alex from the now mandatory mind prode since he exhibited a ship wide Lotai which is cause for a mind probe regardless of regulations.

Asspull? Yes. Any reasonable and expedient way to solve this without dragging it on? No.

[Werra]

Two things.

1. Loroi euthanize those that can't control their abilities and are a danger to others. Alex is lucky to be alive. Any reasonable human person...the Loroi don't share our taboos.

2. Duskcrown isn't the maniac. Stillstorm is the one who openly opposes the Emperors policies.

Any reasonable and expedient way to solve this without dragging it on? No.

Yes, several. For example, after the MAD situation had been explained, the situation could have relaxed naturally with a little patience. Drugging Alex to make him forget all worries would have been possible too. Lots of ways.

[dragoongfa]

1) You can't kill the protagonist mid story, GRRM did this by introducing several protagonists at the same time. Alex is the only human character and is the tie in for the audience, the story ends when he ends.

2) She is the maniac because it is assumed that she will most certainly try and kill the protagonist unless she is offered a really valid reason not to pursue that course of action, that would be either regulations, standing orders from higher authority or making the protagonist an indispensable war winning asset (see Mary Sue).

[dragoongfa]

Yes, several. For example, after the MAD situation had been explained, the situation could have relaxed naturally with a little patience. Drugging Alex to make him forget all worries would have been possible too. Lots of ways.

No time to relax in a contested system while outnumbered 20 to 1 while the only reason they are not being ganged upon is the fact that the enemy admiral is dead, the Lotai had to go and had to go then and there. Drugging Alex would probably not work, the natural human Lotai works even when unconscious and drugged/intoxicated; and he was sleeping with Fireblade when the ship wide Lotai manifested, he was in no anxiety to produce it and since the Lotai manifested during Beryl's interrogation it could only be tied with her.

[orion1836]

Nice, well done.

Heste'Blec... I reead that name before... Was it in WtdwJ?

Yes, lol. The plot lines inch together.

Regarding the Loroi ruin, my original story idea of Nathan making the trip was a direct lift from The Dungeon. Essentially, a capable (if relatively ignorant) protagonist is directly transported via a grey mist from known Earth to very much unknown alien territory. In The Dungeon, it was an 1800s British explorer looking for his brother in Africa. In New Frontiers, it's a (very) young 1700s frontiersman looking for firewood.

When we had to flesh it out, I think about 8 or so pages back in this thread, I postulated that a Soia ruin was the best fit for an explanation. If the Soia wanted to have a ground facility on Earth that would remain unmolested back in the time of early homo sapiens, North America would be the best place to put it. My headcanon is that a Soia ruin, already impossibly old, was brought online by the kinetic energy of a meteor strike (the loud boom Nathan's family thought was a tree falling). The original purpose of the ruin was to transport a viable seed population to the Soia's advanced labs on Deinar once suitable modifications were made on Earth. The ruin performed its automated function one final time before crumbling to dust.

Why would the Deinar ruin still be around today unlike it's Earth counterpart? I'd say because it was a reception point rather than a sending device, requiring far less energy throughput and wear-and-tear. Also, it was likely maintained for far longer than the Earth facility. In this scenario, the Soia would have abandoned Earth once they had their seed population; they likely maintained Deinar right up until the fall.

Also, regarding the Loroi assessment of humanity's view on other stars in the late 1700s... as far as my knowledge goes, the scientific community would have accepted the fact that the sun is just another star by Nathan's time, though Nathan's personal education likely wouldn't have gone into it. He might know that the sun is a star, but to him it's a relatively meaningless fact. The stars are useful for navigation and pretty to look at, but otherwise don't have an impact on his life.

[Warringrose]

SpoilerShow

Stillstorm: "Alex, I need you to trust and help me."
Alex: "Of course, I am ready and able to serve in any capacity-"
Stillstorm: "I can and will kill or poison you at any time."
Alex: "..."

[novius]

Beautifully done. I did say myself "no hybrids in this story", but it didn't prevent Beryl and Fireblade to entertain that idea and closely examine their own feelings.

SpoilerShow

On the other hand, Fireblade and Beryl may think it's "fake", but Beryl did say there are essential parts missing. Perhaps it is just incomplete and based on false assumptions, and thus a reason for never having found a practical application. Though.... this data is four hundred years old, who knows - someone may have continued such research in secret - but that may easily stay out of this story and could be a hook for a possible spinoff.

And it definitely looks like that Alex's actions - and his very being - did already pull some skeletons of the Union out of their deepest, darkest closets. Secrets are like U-235. Once there are enough secret keepers to attain critical mass, it all goes boom.

As a last note, I could almost hear the smugness in Brightshield's tone of voice....

Well, I never imagined Brightshield to get such a major role - after all, I introduced her as one of the Gora Relay staff having left behind. I pegged her as a younger Mizol, more outspoken - some may say even shockingly direct for a Mizol - with a somewhat brighter attitude, but still a Mizol and thus not above resorting to underhanded actions like mind-pinching Beryl to sleep. But, compared to Tempo, I'd say she'd lean more to the diplomatic side of her caste rather than the spook side.

Perhaps Mizol simply get more jaded when they get older and/or rise in rank. And Brightshield being rather young may have helped her retain some bright-eyed enthusiasm.