[Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Completed: 06/04/2018)

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Imperator Sylvor
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by Imperator Sylvor »

Well this is a pleasant surprise. I do hope that more will follow soon... *hint hint*
"A learning experience is one of those things that say, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that'." - Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
"It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane." - Philip K. Dick, VALIS

Krulle
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by Krulle »

Wow.

Sooo many things happening.
It also took me surprusingly long to read it (too busy).

Thanks for sharing. I'll try to read again the next days, but on this device I won't do corrections (I saw some which looked like voice-to-text issues).
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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dragoongfa
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Yeah, I admit that I rushed to post this yesterday. It should be cleared up now.

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Durabys
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by Durabys »

'Females' not being capable of..X!? :roll:

Image

I knew that Outsider attracts the MRA types.
Si vis pacem, para bellum. - If you wish for peace, prepare for war.

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dragoongfa
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Nice; I wondered when someone would throw that snide my way.

I have had this discussion before in 'Looking forward to the Mirror', so I will make it short and sweet:

Throughout my studies I haven't seen anything to show that women are as capable warfighters as men or that they even DESIRE to be warfighters in the same way men do; nevermind society's expectations from both sexes.

That doesn't mean that women are incapable of fighting; they are capable of some auxiliary duties. However if one fields women in the same front line way they do men then that only means that they are idiots or that they are scrapping the bottom of the barrel for more manpower.

So there you have it, satisfied?

raistlin34
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by raistlin34 »

dragoongfa wrote:Nice; I wondered when someone would throw that snide my way.

I have had this discussion before in 'Looking forward to the Mirror', so I will make it short and sweet:

Throughout my studies I haven't seen anything to show that women are as capable warfighters as men or that they even DESIRE to be warfighters in the same way men do; nevermind society's expectations from both sexes.

That doesn't mean that women are incapable of fighting; they are capable of some auxiliary duties. However if one fields women in the same front line way they do men then that only means that they are idiots or that they are scrapping the bottom of the barrel for more manpower.

So there you have it, satisfied?
Yevgeniya Zhigulenko, Night Witch and Hero of the Soviet Union would have liked to take you on a trip in her plane into German airspace , just to see how long you endured before brown trouser moment.

Krulle
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by Krulle »

Still an exception.

You won't find sufficient of these exceptions to
dragoongfa wrote:field[s] women in the same front line way they do [field] men
.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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NuclearIceCream
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by NuclearIceCream »

Imma have to side with Dragoongfa and Krulle on this one.

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dragoongfa
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 25/11/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Chapter 5, Part 1

The transition this time was noticeably longer but still far shorter than the first one, this time the force brought them inside a large room whose walls were made by tree trunks meticulously placed onto each other in order to form the four vertical walls and the roof above them.

“A wooden house?” Tozet Beryl asked as they all took everything in, the room was eerily empty and lit only with a pair of large standing torches.

“Indeed.” The alien replied while looking at the lone figure that was sitting in a meditative stance between the two torches, the same orange haired female they had seen before.

“What are we going to witness here?” Stillstorm asked after a few moments of idleness.

“Greetings…” The odd sending took all four of them by surprise, it felt like it came both from far away and from the exact same room; even the Senator was momentarily shocked and his mind betrayed his expectation for it. “It has now been 1536 tozons since we settled on Deinar and wiped out the Mezerot…” It was the orange haired human, she was the one sending to them; the sending was odd but it betrayed her perfectly focused mind that put all its effort in it. “It was a hard decision to take but a necessary one. We who brought you here fully believed that this world offered the most to you and as thus we saw it right to claim it for you. The Soian ecosystem here has already proved itself as a resilient one, I knew what would happen but it was harsh for me to witness it even once. I am now certain that you will be able to thrive here if you manage to overcome yourselves. The others chose differently, one group chose Perrein because they fully believed that the planet itself would be your test, the others chose Taben because its oceanic nature would both limit your numbers and not allow for you to starve provided that you developed accordingly. Both were valid arguments but we thought that your very nature was in need of temperance and only this world would allow for that temperance to be brought forth by having you pitted against each other. This world is the only one on which you could truly let yourselves loose, it holds little to no danger to you and will be able to recover itself when…” Her mind lost focus, bringing the sending into an abrupt end. The four of them looked at each other for a single moment before turning their full attention to the alien.

“How? You said that we can’t sense a sending from the past.” Parat Tempo pointed out first.

“Normal sendings which are sent to someone on one’s present, what she is doing is vastly different and far more taxing. She is sending forward to recipients who she would never meet."

“Is that even possible?”

“You received it didn’t you?”

“My apologies…” The odd sending begun again. “I am…a…Tempest. That’s how our first sons and daughters described us once they could do so. That’s what our minds were to them as we taught them what we could in order for them to become our instruments of vengeance. A decision we have regretted… deeply…” The sending ceased again as the blue human female who called herself ‘A Tempest’ became visibly agitated for a few moments.

“My apologies again… this is not easy… I should perhaps have started from the very beginning… It should be obvious to you that have now reached me that I am not one of your kind. I am neither a Porei nor a Loroi if the new name you chose for yourselves was the one which prevailed in the end. I am an alien, from a world about 300 light tozons coreward from Deinar. My kind has long ceased to exist; the Soians exterminated us like they did several others who didn’t fit in their plan. I and the few others who still remain have come to terms with this fact and we have already taken our vengeance thanks to our children, your ancestors. I sent that we have deeply regretted that decision. We sought to hurt those who hurt us and we did so by giving birth and raising those who would be capable of doing just that. Our children, the Porei, vengeance made manifest. Great sacrifices were made but in the end you succeeded in what we thought impossible from the very beginning. Yet we regretted it, not because of what happened in our behest but because of the deep and nearly irreparable damage that was inflicted upon you.” Stillstorm became momentarily confused at that but the sending didn’t allow her enough time to think about it. “The Mizol, your wicked sisters, were what the Soians created to our original image. They were a loyal but very docile, nearly inert, creation; unimaginative and without a desire to live life to its fullest. Physically they were nearly identical to you but mentally? They were very much like machines; they felt but their feeling run only deep enough for them to fulfill their purpose. Your ancestors often joked that a Mizol was capable to only feel fear and terror and that only after they were done with them.” It was then that something entered Stillstorm’s mind, no it entered all of their minds, it was a collection of very clear memories of… several Porei making that joke in her… no… Tempest’s presence?

“Yes she will be sending certain parts of her memories to you.” The alien explained as time froze around them. “We missed them at first and you would miss it too if we hadn’t made certain that you would be able to properly receive them.” Time resumed again and the sending of… Tempest continued.

“You were their complete antithesis, holding an indomitable will and an unquenchable thirst to live life to the fullest. We ruined your minds by filling them with hatred, the very hatred that ended up being your very purpose for living. Even the callous Soians weren’t as cruel as us in the purpose they assigned to each and every one of their creations. Should you feel disgust and shame on how your ancestors acted in pursuing our vengeance then know that the blame for everything done falls on us, the ones who birthed them and raised them with nothing but hatred and harshness. We knew of your potential, the promise of magnificence was within each and every one of you and therein lays our regret. In our squandering of that promise you held. This may hurt your pride, your ancestors were certainly proud in their fighting abilities.” Another collection of memories rushed in Stillstorm’s mind, pleasant memories of witnessing proud warrior display their potential. “But our sole wish is for you to be more than just fighters. We wish for you to find your own path, away from our influence and what we had your ancestors do. Perhaps you would be able to do just that on your own if you didn’t have parts of our abilities. The others, the aliens who have yet to ascend will never understand how intertwined we all are and how what we do in life echoes in eternity. I don’t mean just in being able to witness the past but through the… collective soul each and every one of us shares. Non ascendants can’t really affect it to such a degree but you can and your collective is dangerous. Even after death one’s hatred will echo in the collective and it will affect other eons later, again and again until it is quenched. The hatred we instilled in our sons and daughters is affecting them and will be affecting you for millennia. I hope that you who receive this sending have managed to overcome it, your minds were always strong and bright, more than enough to heal yourselves from the curse we inflicted upon you.” The human female, Tempest, paused at that.

“What does she mean with that? Our collective souls that each and every one of us shares?” Parat Tempo asked before Stillstorm could.

“The telepathic networks that you form on your societal level, there is a reason as to why your males constantly monitor them.” The alien explained.

“Our networks are not able to do such things and certain castes of our brightest males monitor the networks to ensure that they are stable, not to contain… hatred.” Parat Tempo pointed out.

“No matter how much you convince yourselves of these lies they aren’t going to become the truth. Your males know of the sickness within your kind and they do their best to alleviate it with the means available to them.” The alien replied. “They do have their fun in doing so but they are taking care of your kind’s well-being in their own way.”

“I know that it will take time.” The human female sent again. “Far more time than I am ready to live for. This hatred runs deep and strong. Making you ready and willing to strike at each other over any perceived wrong or personal flaw.” More memories flashed in their minds, these one filled with sorrow as they bore witness to dozens of bloody brawls, feuds and murders. “This hatred combined with your thirst for life will bring you a harsh future, a future that you will survive only if you are as strong as I believe you are.” She paused again and sighed before continuing. “This is the first of my sendings to you who I will never meet, in the hopes that you have managed to overcome your trials and learned how to reach back to your past. I will send more, as many as I need to in order for you to receive everything I know. Unfortunately I only ever managed to learn the basic theories on how Soian technology worked, enough so we could operate their machinery, perhaps they will still be of some use to you. You wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t managed to master your abilities and although it is possible, I don’t think that you have managed to reach me without mastering certain technologies of theirs. No matter your situation all I can ask of you is to not be ashamed of the vengeance that your ancestors carried in our name. The crimes committed are ours, not yours. Ours was the hatred and ours are the sins. You were young and innocent; that’s why we took those we could with us and run away at the height of the last battle. Our hatred had consumed them; they lived only to kill and didn’t care for anything else.” The memories that accompanied this sending were different, they were of the despaired panic of the… Tempests as they, argued and struggled against and even killed some of their insane daughters in order for some of them to survive. “They were no longer living; they were beasts that sought only death. We took those we could by force and coercion and gave you a future.” The sending paused again but only for a moment. “My second sending will be tomorrow when the sun is at its highest in the sky.” With that the human female stood up, casually stretched herself and walked outside.

“Do you understand now Parat Tempo?” The alien broadcasted but the Mizol didn’t reply for several solons.

“Understand what?” Tozet Beryl asked when she couldn’t take the silence any longer.

“Is this what you meant? With your sick game when we first met?”

“Yes.”

“We are not the same thing.” The Mizol snapped back angrily.

“You are not? Really?” The alien sent with obvious amusement.

“Yes, they were born and lived their whole lives fighting a war. Raised with hatred and living with it. That doesn’t mean that we are bound to end up the same as they did. We are sapient, not mere animals driven only by emotion and instinct. Whatever our progenitors and even you may believe; we Loroi act on our own accord, not as a result of the influence that they had over us in the past!”

“Then how can you explain how all three of your sister worlds came to the exact same conclusions as to how Loroi society should function? All other sapient races form a plethora of different societal forms and different ways of governance and we humans are no different in that regard but you Loroi, your societies are all the same stratocratic caste based systems and these systems formed on three vastly different planets. All sapient societies form in order to limit infighting but you are an extreme aberration, so hateful and self-obsessed that large groupings of your kind couldn’t cooperate before the establishment of your castes. Only this harsh and cruel caste system allowed you to advance and only this system is able to keep you in line. And even with these systems in place you still are just like a domesticated predator that is only a couple of generations away from going fully feral again.” The alien turned his attention to Beryl and Stillstorm would swear that she felt a tinge of remorse for expressing himself in front of the Listel in such a way. “Thankfully there is hope for your kind, there do exist warriors that break certain patterns. Perhaps they may help you find ways to cooperate without the need to violently coerce each other.” He paused for a few solons before turning his full attention back to Stillstorm. “Do you understand now, Lashret?”

“Did they really intend to die with the Soians? To die fighting just for death’s shake?” She managed to ask.

“Yes they were.”

“They weren’t warriors then.”

“I never described them as such.” The alien pointed out. “They were vengeance made manifest and you are their offspring. You would have met warriors such as them if the war had continued for a couple of decades more. Warriors so consumed by hatred that they would rather die than stop killing.” He sent and paused for a few moments, looking at Stillstorm as if studying her. “If our females and you have only one thing in common then that would be the selfless love most of you have for your offspring. That love gave your kind a second chance at life and three worlds to thrive on; that same love is why we are here, giving your kind your third chance at life because you would have lost the war without human intervention.”

“Then why are you threatening us with extinction?” Stillstorm angrily pointed out the hypocrisy in his line of thinking.

“Because your kind kills for the wrong reasons.” He replied as a matter of fact, the statement catching all four of them by surprise. “Did you all honestly believe that our disdain towards you about your kind’s crimes is about the acts of genocide themselves? Death and extinction are part of the universe’s natural order. To hold those committing them in such disdain would be like hating predators for killing their prey or cursing at a virus for the deaths it causes when killing those too weak to overcome it.”

“Then what do you mean? With us killing for the wrong reasons?” Parat Tempo asked.

“We humans used to think that only one’s actions mattered to make proper judgment of one’s character, this way of thinking proved itself insufficient as one’s intentions are as important as their actions in order to truly judge individuals, collectives and even entire races. You Loroi are a species born of hatred that has forced a harsh social system on itself to bring forth a semblance of order. In the grand scheme of things everything that you kind has done from when the very first castes were formed on all three of the sister worlds had a singular purpose and that purpose was control. Self-control at first; control over others later on.” His sending easily betrayed the fact that he found the former admirable but loathed the later. “You seek to control everything around you, all in order to bring forth a new ‘galactic order’ just like the inheritors of the Soians ought to do. Those who fought against your pursuit of this order? The lucky ones were subjugated with little to no chance of bettering their position throughout the eons. Those unlucky got a genocide that was only used to solidify your control over others. We would have never bothered you had you just exterminated the Mannadi to the last, settled their worlds and never spoke of them again; that’s the natural order of life itself. But you built the Union on their corpses, a tool of control for the ‘true inheritors’ to bring forth another era of galactic order that would last for all eternity; able to overcome all challenges, whether internal or external. A hollow order of things, that will be built and fueled by the corpses of all those who oppose you. Just like the Soians maintained their own order of things.”

“I don’t understand, moments ago you said that we are filled with hatred and we are dangerous because of it and now you are chastising us for the Union that was created in order to bring forth lasting peace and mutual prosperity?” Parat Tempo pointed out.

“Yes, I didn’t expect you to understand as you are now. In fact I wouldn’t understand when I was still 'locked'. The issue is how you will act the moment your kind truly Ascends like we did. All signs point to you becoming a far more murderous version of the Soians, one that will take pleasure in punishing all those who opposed you. You may point out that your kind isn’t the same as it used to be but we observed you when you massacred both the Mannadi and the Tithric. We saw the enjoyment many warriors had in their minds when they slaughtered the Mannadi, we saw the attempts of your males to bring forth a sense of shame for those acts in order to protect you only for those attempts to fail miserably and bring forth the Tithric genocide.” The alien looked at Stillstorm for a few moments as her mind brought forth the memories she held when she took part in the Tithric campaign. It was true that many warriors enjoyed wiping out whole continents from orbit, far too many of them. “Both of them were fools that would eventually die due to their foolishness. The Mannadi were fools for not realizing their position as the vanquished, the Tithric were fools for never realizing what was going on around them and how the actions of the few affect the whole. You Loroi, you are not fools; never were and never will be, not to that level at least. You are just hypocrites. Had you killed just for sport and enjoyment you would be murderous hedonists, had you killed just for material gain you would be callous pragmatists. You killed for enjoyment; you killed for gain and most of all, you killed for control. Your kind’s claims of the peace and mutual prosperity that the Union supposedly brings? They are all lies brought forth by the ruthless hypocrisy that is engraved in you. I have to congratulate you, I never thought that we humans would ever be rivaled in hypocrisy.”

“We are not liars and we are not hypocrites!” Stillstorm finally shouted angrily.

“Not on the personal level but you are on the greater societal one.” He laughed after finding a perverse source of amusement at that. “Such a mental disconnect from the personal to the societal is extremely rare, in fact of those you know only the Shells have a disconnect of such magnitude. So humble and unassuming on the personal, yet they are aggressive dominators who must be above all on the societal.”

“We don’t have anything in common with the Shells!” Stillstorm shouted again.

“Keep telling yourself that, it will never change who and what you are.” He replied smugly. “Now it’s time for you to witness the end of a Legend.”

Chapter 5, Part 2: http://www.well-of-souls.com/forums/vie ... 467#p28467
Last edited by Guest on Sun Dec 03, 2017 7:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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dragoongfa
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 25/11/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

I will only say this has been on hiatus only because I am a lazy git that couldn't be arsed to copy the manuscript. The story's manuscript is finished and the only issue is time and laziness. Hopefully I will post everything before the end of the year.

Krulle
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/07/2017)

Post by Krulle »

SpoilerShow
dragoongfa, Chapter 4, part 3 wrote:[...]

The warrior then tilted her head slightly as the club seemingly swung itself against the bleeding Barsam, it’s armor realigning itself to take the hit only to live leave other areas exposed for the knife to stab and cut with a supernatural speed before the armor could protect its wearer.

[...]

“Indeed. Of the more than four billion Soians aboard at the time of the first revolt more than half perished from the repeated combined shouts of the human males that were cast throughout it. In turn several key administration and industrial centers were damaged and destroyed in the ensuing fighting. The loss of life and the damage inflicted were enough for the Soians to temporary retire the Dreadstar from its official duties so it could be repair itself. About ten million Soians were left aboard to facilitate the repairs with the rest scattered on the seven remaining Dreadstars that now had to fill the gap that was left. It was estimated that the repairs would require several centuries and would require the full remaining industrial output of the Dreadstar before it could resume its duties, the Porei managed to high jack hijack (simply wrong word use, see http://www.dictionary.com/browse/hijack - it is one word, not two separate words) it when the repairs were about three quarters done.”

“How did the Porei high jacked hijack it? It would require a whole fleet and hundreds of thousands of boarders.” Stillstorm asked.

[...]

“We are on Derro by the way. The Porei gave a very simple ultimatum to the Neridi. They would surrended surrender every last Mizol on their world or they would suffer their fate. As you can see some Neridi actively disagreed and reaped their just dues.” The alien sent.

[...]

“They did fight; in fact the brutal savagery of the ravagers forced them into martial action for the first time in one hundred millennia. All sever seven Dreadstars were to gather and coalesce into a unified force in order to find, overwhelm and destroy the rogue Dreadstar, the problem laid with their peace time positioning. Four Dreadstars were spread out throughout the up arm territories, the other three down arm. This positioning, combined with the delaying actions of the ravager fleets would mean that the Porei would have freedom of movement at least for a few nanapis until that force became cohesive.” The alien replied.

[...]

“No, understand that out our females don’t have the natural grit and mindset required for fighting in such a scale. The few who did have what was needed had always been the product of harsh people and harsh times.” He replied. “You can take pride that your ancestors were the force that brought down a major tech level 16 empire and they did so in less than a century from when the first of them drew breath.”

[...]

Suddenly the pristine Dreadstar seemed to implode for a single moment before it exploded violently, sending continent sized debris rushing out to the void with the gigantic shockwave that followed. The Porei Dreadstar and the fleets that still fought bore it without issue but it was obvious that the system they were in would be ruined once the shockwave and the debris run ran its course.

[...]
dragoongfa. Chapter 5, part 1 wrote:[...]

“You were their complete antithesis, holding an indomitable will and an unquenchable thirst to live life to the fullest. We ruined your minds by filling them with hatred, the very hatred that ended up being your very purpose for living. Even the callous Soians weren’t as cruel as us in the purpose they assigned to each and every one of their creations. Should you feel disgust and shame on how your ancestors acted in pursuing our vengeance then know that the blame for everything done falls on us, the ones who birthed them and raised them with nothing but hatred and harshness. We knew of your potential, the promise of magnificence was within each and every one of you and therein lays our regret. In our squandering of that promise you held. This may hurt your pride, your ancestors were certainly proud in their fighting abilities.” Another collection of memories rushed in Stillstorm’s mind, pleasant memories of witnessing proud warrior display their potential. “But our sole wish is for you to be more than just fighters. We wish for you to find your own path, away from our influence and what we had your ancestors do. Perhaps you would be able to do just that on your own if you didn’t have parts of our abilities. The others, the aliens who have yet to ascend will never understand how intertwined we all are and how what we do in life echoes in eternity. I don’t mean just in being able to witness the past but through the… collective soul each and every one of us shares. Non ascendants can’t really affect it to such a degree but you can and your collective is dangerous. Even after death one’s hatred will echo in the collective and it will affect others eons later, again and again until it is quenched. The hatred we instilled in our sons and daughters is affecting them and will be affecting you for millennia. I hope that you who receive this sending have managed to overcome it, your minds were always strong and bright, more than enough to heal yourselves from the curse we inflicted upon you.” The human female, Tempest, paused at that.

[...]

“We humans used to think that only one’s actions mattered to make proper judgment of one’s character, this way of thinking proved itself insufficient as one’s intentions are as important as their actions in order to truly judge individuals, collectives and even entire races. You Loroi are a species born of hatred that has forced a harsh social system on itself to bring forth a semblance of order. In the grand scheme of things everything that your kind has done from when the very first castes were formed on all three of the sister worlds had a singular purpose and that purpose was control. Self-control at first; control over others later on.” His sending easily betrayed the fact that he found the former admirable but loathed the latter. “You seek to control everything around you, all in order to bring forth a new ‘galactic order’ just like the inheritors of the Soians ought to do. Those who fought against your pursuit of this order? The lucky ones were subjugated with little to no chance of bettering their position throughout the eons. Those unlucky got a genocide that was only used to solidify your control over others. We would have never bothered you had you just exterminated the Mannadi to the last, settled their worlds and never spoke of them again; that’s the natural order of life itself. But you built the Union on their corpses, a tool of control for the ‘true inheritors’ to bring forth another era of galactic order that would last for all eternity; able to overcome all challenges, whether internal or external. A hollow order of things, that will be built and fueled by the corpses of all those who oppose you. Just like the Soians maintained their own order of things.”

[...]
Good read. Thank you. Looking forward for the next part, and the end of the Legend.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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dragoongfa
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 03/12/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Chapter 5, part 2

They found themselves into a forest for the second time but this one was familiar, they were on Deinar again, Fireblade was certain of that; the others realizing this simple fact just a moment after she did. The blue human female and a Loroi male were nearby, she was gathering various herbs, fruits and various vegetables in a large basket while the male held a crude stone age spear and seemed to be on guard.

“What are they doing?” The Lashret asked.

“Food for honored guests, banquets and religious offerings must be gathered by female hand or be killed by the weapon of a male hunter.” Beryl reminded them as they all stared at the ridiculous sight of a Loroi male standing guard over a female, one whose abilities actually were the stuff of Legend.

“In her last sending to the future she will mention that someone in the village reminds her of a long dead son.” The alien senator commented, his mind fully guarded for some reason. Perhaps they were about to witness something he found extremely disturbing.

Suddenly the male turned his attention at their direction and brought his spear at a ready position, for a moment Fireblade wondered if he had somehow sensed them but she immediately realized that his attention was drawn from something behind them. All four of them turned and saw a large miros walking about 60 or so paces away from them.

They turned their attention back to the male who had already begun levitating telekinetically, bringing himself just below the tree branches before slowly making his way above the unsuspecting miros. Without making a single sound he positioned himself above the miros and aimed his spear carefully before allowing himself to fall onto his prey. The spear piercing the animal’s neck in an instant with the impact of the male’s body bringing it to its knees in the instant before it died.

“It’s weird to witness a hunting male.” The mizol commented as the blue human female walked up to him and just patted him on the head with a smile before the two of them gathered their respective harvest and kill to make their way back home.

“Tell me Listel Tozet? How well versed are you with Deinar’s minor legends?”
He broadcasted.

“I know only a handful; the legends and their interpretations are the field of the all male Nedatan preservers, not of the Listel warrior caste.”
The Listel replied and he nodded in understanding.

“I would appreciate it if you don’t inform the others if you happen to realize in which legends the events we are about to witness are recalled.”
He broadcasted again before the force took them for an almost instantaneous trip.

This time they found themselves amidst a seemingly empty village made out of wooden houses that were built in the same way like the one they were in just earlier. The blue human was there, standing alone in front of a cruse table on which various food stuffs were meticulously placed.

She was standing there, waiting for someone with a calm, seemingly serene expression. After a few moments 16 warriors appeared from a distant corner, dressed with leather rags, brandishing crude spears and with some short of knife holster worn at their waists. The advanced materials the holsters and the knives were made of were in complete contrast to everything else on them.

Fireblade sensed Beryl as she realized something but the Listel immediately suppressed the thought, composing herself in an instant. The warriors wearily approached the lone human who just smiled at them as they looked around, obviously waiting for an ambush that never materialized. Studying them from up close it was easy for Fireblade to realize how malnourished their bodies and how tattered their leather clothing were; the sight was just painfully pitiful.

The warriors stopped a dozen paces away from the human female, all sixteen of them standing there in silence for several solons before one of them walked up to her. They couldn’t sense their exchange but the warriors agitation was easy to see, the human female just standing there, staring at the warrior and the others behind her with a seemingly aloof demeanor towards the warrior and what she was agitated about. She turned her back at them and pointed at the table but the warrior was onto her with blinding speed, drawing her ceramic knife from its sheath, stabbing the human with a shrilly shout as the others moved in with their own knives drawn, stubbing, slashing and yelling at the human for several solons before stopping; leaving only a barely recognizable bloody corpse at their feet. All sixteen of them didn’t waste a single moment after that, immediately rushing to the table to gorge themselves with the food that was there.

“Why?”
The Listel asked after a few moments.

“Why they killed her or why she didn’t fight back?”
The alien replied. “Or both?” The Listel just stood there and nodded at the last, ignoring the alien’s own agitation to what they just witnessed.

“You Loroi live extremely long lives when compared with the natural human lifespan; in fact natural unassisted humans can’t reach Lashret Stillstorm’s age, to be sincere humans of ages gone by would mistake your longevity for nigh immortality." He explained as he looked at the bloody corpse in front of them. "She was biologically immortal, having lived for millennia through several Loroi generations. All that time filled with all the devastation, pain, suffering and extensive loss that your kind can bring forth. The true question one has to ask is why the majority of them didn’t just take their own lives after all that time.” He continued as he stared blankly at the 16 who were eating without any care towards the one they just murdered. “She didn’t fight back because she had long decided to accept her death after having finished sending her last gift to you. She wasn’t the only one who believed that you had to find your own path, most of them were like that; with only a few trying to guide and lead you but they all failed. Their actions giving birth to different legends than the ones this murder gave birth to.” He explained before realizing something. “Which legend came to you when you realized what was going to happen?”

“The cowardly city of the lying warrior.” The Listel begun. “The Legend speaks of a great city that stood against all enemies no matter the numbers and warriors pitted against it. The city was rich, powerful and was the envy of everyone as it was protected by a great warrior who could beat any and all foes effortlessly. One day the city was besieged by a truly mighty army and sixteen warriors were sent to challenge the city’s own champion. They found the city abandoned, with only the champion waiting for them in front of a table of tribute. The warrior asked her where everyone was, the champion replying that all the others had fled. The warriors were angered by such cowardice and challenged the champion to battle to save her city’s honor. The champion denied them saying that she was never a warrior. The leading warrior was angered by such an obvious lie and pointed out how the city stood for so long and with such a champion if she wasn’t a warrior. The champion just called her and all the others who thought like that fools before turning her back at them. The sixteen warrior then stroked down the lying champion, took the tribute and torched the city so the cowards would not have a place to return to.” The Listel recalled.

“And that was how her murder was passed along by those who killed her.” He began. “A village that housed about a couple of thousand Loroi would certainly look like an opulent city to the horde of starving Loroi that reached it in desperation at the height of a recession cycle. The so called champion was a ‘Tempest’ who protected the village for as long as she needed to finish her last gift to her children. The tribute was food for those who starved; the cowards were those who knew that they would not be protected anymore and elected to flee. The warriors who killed her ended up believing that she had somehow tricked all those before them; that the stories about her and the city’s strength were all falsehoods born of cowardice. How else could they with such limited perception explain all this?”

“You made it clear that this wasn’t the only legend about her murder…”
The Listel commented after a few solons of thinking.

“Indeed, this isn’t the only legend of this one’s murder. An other, less known legend, is among those who speak about the great nameless warriors who forsake their duties because of a male. You have plenty of these legends but one particular variant speaks of a great warrior, a peerless protector and a bulwark again all. One day she became infatuated with a male who had the powers of a warrior. The spent their time together, hunting and conversing about all things. She was happy with him, he was strong and with a sharp mind but he was still a male with a male’s idealist thinking. She foolishly believed to his false ideals of peace and understanding. She decided to act on these ideals and elected to parlay with their enemies. The two of them prepared gifts for them and she alone waited for them. Her people however knew that this was foolish and fled before the parlay took place because they knew that without her they would never win against their foes. There was no parley, the once mighty warrior was just murdered, the gifts taken as trophies and her people’s homes were burned to the ground. One of the many legends that warn Loroi warriors about the perils of becoming too attached and infatuated with a male.” The alien explained.

“And the dangers of attempting peace with one’s enemies.” The Mizol added.

“Indeed.”


“Is this why she did all this? To bring peace?”
The Lashret asked.

“No, she wasn’t a fool to believe that peace was possible. She was just weary of killing the blood of her blood or seeing it starve to death. She had resigned to her death long before this day and as such she had no fear of meeting them and alleviate their hunger even for a little while.” He replied.

“The way she gathered the food, it was ceremonial.”
The Listel commented.

“Yes it was. She knew that there was a strong possibility of her dying and deemed it appropriate that the food offered to her... guests during her funeral's banquet to be prepared accordingly.”


“So she wanted to die?”
The Lashret asked, momentarily drawing his ire towards her.

“No, there is a difference between accepting death and willing it. She didn’t commit suicide, she was murdered. Perhaps in time she would get frustrated enough to commit suicide, like some of the others did; in the end all of them died despite the fact that they could survive even to this day after the Soians made sure that they would be biologically immortal. The vast majority of the ‘Tempests’ were murdered by those they sought to save. The truth of their lives and deaths intentionally hidden and obscured by your collective; to be remembered only in disdain through your various legends.” He paused to recollect himself before continuing. “Perrein has the legends of the ‘Abhorrent mothers’ and the ‘Jungle witch’. Taben has the ‘Lonesome Captain’ and the ‘Sailor of the starry mountaintop’. None of those recalled in these legends are ever done so in fondness or appreciation of any form. It is sad really; the ones who birthed you and gave you a second chance are only appreciated for the destruction they wrought. The 'Legend of Tempest' you all know, the ‘Legend of Firestorm’ of Deinar, the ‘Legend of the Huntress’ of Perrein and the ‘Legend of the Sea Wanderer’ of Taben. All wrought in death, destruction and nothing of what they wished of you. Your collective minds never allowed you to remember anything other than that, drawn to hatred as if it’s the only natural thing your kind is drawn to.” The force took them again when he finished, a long journey this time, much like the first one; all four of them realized they were returning to their own time.
Fireblade felt disoriented as she opened her eyes, all four of them did while he just stood up as briskly as if he had just woken up from a refreshing nap.

“After all this I fail to understand one thing…”
The Lashret began sending groggily after forcing herself to stand up. “Why do all this? You showed us that we Loroi were the ones who destroyed the Soians! And you want us to attain that level of ability again while fully believing that hatred is deeply entrenched in our very being! This doesn’t make sense.”

“We will not destroy anyone and anything for what they will become but for what they are. The path for your kind’s Ascension is your own hurdle to pass, we just pointed you in the right direction, showed you what is yours, warned you about yourselves and we will make certain that you are left to your own devices until the time comes.”
He replied matter of factly.

“Aren’t you worried? That you might not be able to stop us after we Ascend and we prove to be what you believe we are? You are not fools and yet this is foolish in every way. The ones who destroyed the Soians could be the ones who end up destroying you.” The Lashret pointed out with a challenging tone only to have him stare at her with a dumbfounded expression before bursting into laughter. It was an eerie laughter, more intense than the other times he laughed at that and… he wasn’t alone! In an disconcerting way it felt like the whole of Naam was laughing at them.

“Perhaps…”
He broadcasted with a smirk before making an important decision. “but perhaps not…” Fireblade sensed the others forcibly losing control of their bodies again as the alien chuckled at her attempt to protect from having her very being taken over again. She blacked out but she was still conscious, no… it wasn’t her consciousness… it was… not something living… overwhelming yet somehow familiar… a memory of it.

Chapter 6, part 1: http://www.well-of-souls.com/forums/vie ... 684#p28684
Last edited by Guest on Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Krulle
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 03/12/2017)

Post by Krulle »

SpoilerShow
dragoongfa wrote:Chapter 5, part 2

[...]

“Indeed, this isn’t the only legend of this one’s murder. An other, less known legend, is among those who speak about the great nameless warriors who forsake their duties because of a male. You have plenty of these legends but one particular variant speaks of a great warrior, a peerless protector and a bulwark again against all. One day she became infatuated with a male who had the powers of a warrior. The They spent their time together, hunting and conversing about all things. She was happy with him, he was strong and with a sharp mind but he was still a male with a male’s idealist thinking. She foolishly believed to his false ideals of peace and understanding. She decided to act on these ideals and elected to parlay with their enemies. The two of them prepared gifts for them and she alone waited for them. Her people however knew that this was foolish and fled before the parlay took place because they knew that without her they would never win against their foes. There was no parley, the once mighty warrior was just murdered, the gifts taken as trophies and her people’s homes were burned to the ground. One of the many legends that warn Loroi warriors about the perils of becoming too attached and infatuated with a male.” The alien explained.

[...]
And I had to look hard to find anything.....
And thus, it all is just a memory. A memory of ideals the Loroi should strive for.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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Durabys
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 25/11/2017)

Post by Durabys »

dragoongfa wrote:Chapter 5, Part 1

“Because your kind kills for the wrong reasons.” He replied as a matter of fact, the statement catching all four of them by surprise. “Did you all honestly believe that our disdain towards you about your kind’s crimes is about the acts of genocide themselves? Death and extinction are part of the universe’s natural order. To hold those committing them in such disdain would be like hating predators for killing their prey or cursing at a virus for the deaths it causes when killing those too weak to overcome it.”
Wait. THE FUCK!? Isn't this what the fucking Nazis were spewing in the 30's and 40's!?

DA FUCK?!
Si vis pacem, para bellum. - If you wish for peace, prepare for war.

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 25/11/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Durabys wrote:
dragoongfa wrote:Chapter 5, Part 1

“Because your kind kills for the wrong reasons.” He replied as a matter of fact, the statement catching all four of them by surprise. “Did you all honestly believe that our disdain towards you about your kind’s crimes is about the acts of genocide themselves? Death and extinction are part of the universe’s natural order. To hold those committing them in such disdain would be like hating predators for killing their prey or cursing at a virus for the deaths it causes when killing those too weak to overcome it.”
Wait. THE FUCK!? Isn't this what the fucking Nazis were spewing in the 30's and 40's!?

DA FUCK?!
In the next chapter you will know why the story is called 'The Pale Horse'. Humanity in this story is neither benevolent nor villainous in the sense we commonly think of the terms.

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 25/11/2017)

Post by Durabys »

dragoongfa wrote:
Durabys wrote:
dragoongfa wrote:Chapter 5, Part 1

“Because your kind kills for the wrong reasons.” He replied as a matter of fact, the statement catching all four of them by surprise. “Did you all honestly believe that our disdain towards you about your kind’s crimes is about the acts of genocide themselves? Death and extinction are part of the universe’s natural order. To hold those committing them in such disdain would be like hating predators for killing their prey or cursing at a virus for the deaths it causes when killing those too weak to overcome it.”
Wait. THE FUCK!? Isn't this what the fucking Nazis were spewing in the 30's and 40's!?

DA FUCK?!
In the next chapter you will know why the story is called 'The Pale Horse'. Humanity in this story is neither benevolent nor villainous in the sense we commonly think of the terms.
Me thinks you intentionally created the Humans in such a way that they would allow you to advertise extremist views.
Si vis pacem, para bellum. - If you wish for peace, prepare for war.

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 03/12/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Alright, I will swallow the bait hook, line and sinker.

Which extremist views am I holding and advertising with my stories?

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 25/11/2017)

Post by Durabys »

Well? These?
Durabys wrote:
dragoongfa wrote:Chapter 5, Part 1

“Because your kind kills for the wrong reasons.” He replied as a matter of fact, the statement catching all four of them by surprise. “Did you all honestly believe that our disdain towards you about your kind’s crimes is about the acts of genocide themselves? Death and extinction are part of the universe’s natural order. To hold those committing them in such disdain would be like hating predators for killing their prey or cursing at a virus for the deaths it causes when killing those too weak to overcome it.”
Wait. THE FUCK!? Isn't this what the fucking Nazis were spewing in the 30's and 40's!?

DA FUCK?!
Si vis pacem, para bellum. - If you wish for peace, prepare for war.

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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 25/11/2017)

Post by dragoongfa »

Durabys wrote:Well? These?
Durabys wrote:
dragoongfa wrote:Chapter 5, Part 1

“Because your kind kills for the wrong reasons.” He replied as a matter of fact, the statement catching all four of them by surprise. “Did you all honestly believe that our disdain towards you about your kind’s crimes is about the acts of genocide themselves? Death and extinction are part of the universe’s natural order. To hold those committing them in such disdain would be like hating predators for killing their prey or cursing at a virus for the deaths it causes when killing those too weak to overcome it.”
Wait. THE FUCK!? Isn't this what the fucking Nazis were spewing in the 30's and 40's!?

DA FUCK?!
Sigh...

I am going to put this down as a bad case of 'the writer hasn't posted new shit for so long that certain key points of the story have been forgotten even by avid readers'.

So lets establish these points again:

1) Humanity in this setting is an extremely powerful Ascendant race and sees all non-Ascendant sapient races as LESSER RACES, holding a place between animals and the point where humanity currently stands on. The Loroi holding a rather weird and dangerous place in the pecking order.

2) Humanity is for all intents and purposes isolationist in regards to the lesser races themselves, electing to let them do their thing no matter what that may be. They may believe all other races as beneath them but they are not going to harm, help them or save them.

3) Humanity loathes the vast majority, if not every single one, of the other Ascendant races, seeing their interventionist policies and how they treat lesser races as a 'false order' of things that leads only to stagnation and death.

4) And final point: It would be established later but these Humans don't believe in the 'manifest destiny' of Humanity to lead, dominate, coerce, form friendly bonds or whatever good or bad thing comes to mind. This Humanity is simply driven by the fact that they are the only Ascendants of their kind, an impossible fluke of a universe where the only path to 'Ascension', according to most other Ascendants, is to cut away all emotions and become beings driven only by cold calculating logic. Humans instinctively loathe this and have embraced a philosophy of 'natural Chaos', wishing for the universe to bring what may without any interference from any fools who think that they know best.

So in short, these humans simply don't care all that much about what non humans do to each other. For them its the natural order of the universe, a sapient Alpha race going extinct due to genocide is the same with an other Alpha race going extinct because of an extremely virulent plague. Many will think of it as tragic, some may lament their decision not to act, the vast majority? They will just go on their day to day lives doing stuff that they find interesting.
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Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 25/11/2017)

Post by Durabys »

dragoongfa wrote:
Sigh...

I am going to put this down as a bad case of 'the writer hasn't posted new shit for so long that certain key points of the story have been forgotten even by avid readers'.

So lets establish these points again:
...

4) And final point: It would be established later but these Humans doesn't believe in the 'manifest destiny' of Humanity to lead, dominate, coerce, form friendly bonds or whatever good or bad thing comes to mind. This Humanity is simply driven by the fact that they are the only Ascendants of their kind, an impossible fluke of a universe where the only path to 'Ascension', according to most other Ascendants, is to cut away all emotions and become beings driven only by cold calculating logic. Humans instinctively loathe this and have embraced a philosophy of 'natural Chaos', wishing for the universe to bring what may without any interference from any fools who think that they know best.

...
Sorry. I misunderstood you in that case.

If Humans hate/dislike all the other Ascendant races because these are all calculating emotionless dicks filled with dicksauce..wouldn't they be happier if in the future races who Ascend would become similar to them? I mean..wouldn't Humans be generally happier and more content if other Ascendant races in the future were non-interventionist and emotional beings and not basically all-powerful robotic pricks? Couldn't the Humans serve as Exemplars of Perfection HOW NOT TO BE A DICK AND ENJOY LIFE (TM, Human pat. pending) for all the other races who have yet to Ascend? Because then you get a universe where the Old Ones are generally off hands and 'relatively' nice to others (like one would be to a dog..and only one sick in the head would hurt a dog..thankfully all Ascended in such case have the behavior of PETA)?

Wait..

..AH! :o I now see what you want to do with the Loroi. Humans want THEM to become icons for others species to follow and turn the numbers advantage in the Non-Dick Ascended vs. Dick Ascended contest onto Humanity's side in time. :twisted:

The Humans are planning to pull a Lorien/Alterans War In Heaven on all the First One races that are dicks: Non-Interference Policy on the Mortal Plane Or Die. Your choice.
Si vis pacem, para bellum. - If you wish for peace, prepare for war.

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