Writing Prompts

[Krulle]

You really seem to hit it with "p"s in the middle...

Hailcatcher assured him that his new uniform would soon be ready and delivered to his cabin in dublicate.

It's "duplicate".

Dangit, I wanted to avoid commenting all this.... I wanted to takte it as spelling errors, but they were simple too consistent...

Anyway, since it's a consistent error, you might need to be aware of it, to fight it happening "when it counts"...

[dragoongfa]

Alright, I posted half of what I planned to write because I got to go our for a few hours. I cut things off at the point where I would skip to the briefing so I would appreciate if people let me write the next part as well.

@Werra, you just woke the resident spellchecker

[Werra]

Have fun with the next part. I would have asked if you wanted to continue anyway. The disciplinary action for Alex and Talon can wait until they're out of combat.

I don't mind being spellchecked. Perhabs I should get into the habit of rereading my parts before I upload them..

[dragoongfa]

SpoilerShow

The next stage of the battle will be relatively boring, hence the briefing were the plan will be laid out simply enough. It short the next few engagements will resemble a bullfight (as Alex will describe it) until Stillstorm will be able punch through the 24th and the 36th towards Sala-128, leaving the 51st in Enedd to annoy the Shells and keep them out of position in the hopes that the bulk of the Tinza fleet will be able to withdraw to Enedd. The next proper battle sequence is when the fleet does return in Enedd under relatively good order but battered. If you believe that you can put something in between the time when the 51st remains alone in Enedd and when the Tinza fleet arrives then feel free to plan it.

[Werra]

SpoilerShow

The next stage of the battle will be relatively boring, hence the briefing were the plan will be laid out simply enough. It short the next few engagements will resemble a bullfight (as Alex will describe it) until Stillstorm will be able punch through the 24th and the 36th towards Sala-128, leaving the 51st in Enedd to annoy the Shells and keep them out of position in the hopes that the bulk of the Tinza fleet will be able to withdraw to Enedd. The next proper battle sequence is when the fleet does return in Enedd under relatively good order but battered. If you believe that you can put something in between the time when the 51st remains alone in Enedd and when the Tinza fleet arrives then feel free to plan it.

Depends on the specifics of the situation. But I think I can make something work that gives some more spotlight to the rank and file of Tempest. I could also write a sappy feel-good part with Tempo instead/in addition.

But...I'm loathe to call dips so often. If anybody has any ideas they would like to see, feel free to post. Part of the fun is getting multiple authors to write and making it work.

[entity2636]

HMG seems to prefer a soft Prexit. Only Johnson wanted a Brexit as hard as his brick

Sorry, but ROFL! That's a good one

[novius]

SpoilerShow

Depends on the specifics of the situation. But I think I can make something work that gives some more spotlight to the rank and file of Tempest. I could also write a sappy feel-good part with Tempo instead/in addition.

But...I'm loathe to call dips so often. If anybody has any ideas they would like to see, feel free to post. Part of the fun is getting multiple authors to write and making it work.

SpoilerShow

There are two and a half angles I have at the forefront of my mind:

• Stillstorm might actually get the idea that him 'doing it' with Talon accelerated the formation of their sanzai, once she learns that she's part of it, too. And I bet she will learn, after all, she surely wants to be apprised of information about him. So yes, it would be a prudent choice of her to come back to him for a mating encounter, too... And these talks would surely be interesting. Plus, it's undecided whether it would have the effect she desires, him lowering his Lotai for her.
• Tempo said it herself - he's raised to be chivalrous and protect the women, and Loroi females absolutely disallow any harm coming to him. Wearing him out is permissable (and something Razorthorn might exploit it up to the hilt), but injuries, especially ones needing treatment are completely out of line. That could make basic warrior training troublesome if training injuries happen on a regular base and are expected, since Loroi may regard them as the best way to teach the trainees the necessity of safety procedures.
• In extension to that, group training could be difficult. Human soldiers may have been trained to disregard the instinct to immediately aid the woman which is injured in service - neutralizing the enemy still shooting at the own platoon comes first - but the Loroi warriors do lack that training. Alex being hurt during training could first cause a dissolution of the exercise since most Loroi would immediately rush to his aid, and could cause severe repercussions for the Loroi who caused that injury, and Razorthorn herself as the trainer in charge on grounds of gross negligence.

By all means, go ahead The major change in the scene I posted was that the Loroi rank and file might have seen Alex as 'the brass reserving the good stuff for themselves', until he showed up with Talon. Now they might even be less hestitant to approach him.

I might add something to it. For example, what was it about Talon and a specific 1986's movie...?

[Werra]

That's true. Now that the daring pilots have managed to get a footing, Alex might be seen as free game. His new connections to the rank and file opens up many possibilities for hijinks. Poor Tempo will have far more competition now.

SpoilerShow

Personally I like the spot Alex and Stillstorm are in right now regarding carnal desires. We can leave it vague whether there is or was something between the two. Instead they can just fire snide remarks at each other.

[novius]

@Zarya

Who is Ariane?

I'm quite sure you mean Argent, and secondary to that, he seems strangely accepting of the fact that he could all of a sudden talk to them. Imagine being deaf the whole life and then, all of a sudden, hear the noise of a large group - your brain would be prone to go into overload and shut down first.

Dibs on the next part, this would be definitely going too easy...

[Zarya]

@novius - erm, have now changed that.
In one of the (your) earlier pieces Arianesin was used to refer to the Poisontooth?
And the name Ariane stuck..

The idea was also that he could only hear voices when in direct contact. A shortcut, I admit.
Don’t think that it would melt his brain and it would stop when there’s no longer physical contact.

[novius]

@novius - erm, have now changed that.
In one of the (your) earlier pieces Arianesin was used to refer to the Poisontooth?
And the name Ariane stuck..

The idea was also that he could only hear voices when in direct contact. A shortcut, I admit.
Don’t think that it would melt his brain and it would stop when there’s no longer physical contact.

Poisoned Claw. or Poisonclaw, according to the translation page, which is incidentally the name of a very large and quite dangerous beast I cooked up for this story.

Anyway, new part is up.

[dragoongfa]

Bah, it turned out bigger than I expected. Anyway the next part from me will be

SpoilerShow

right about when the fleet will be approaching the jump point to Sala-128, the previous engagements running more or less exactly how Stillstorm had planned them to. This gives people around 6 to 7 hours of time to play with. After the small battle segment I give it about a day of cat and mouse games between the 51st and the Umiak forces.

[Werra]

Lot's of talking this time. Hope what I had in mind worked out and came across well. I will give this a reread tomorrow to find some spelling mistakes.

SpoilerShow

My plan is to expand the range of plot hooks that can be used with Beryl. Because let's face it, if she isn't there to push buttons like Lieutenant Uhura or read out Wikipedia at Alex, I have a hard time writing her. That and I want to see the fur fly between at least some of these ladies.

I also left it vague how much time has passed this way. So either the light show can start or something else.

[novius]

Lot's of talking this time. Hope what I had in mind worked out and came across well. I will give this a reread tomorrow to find some spelling mistakes.

SpoilerShow

My plan is to expand the range of plot hooks that can be used with Beryl. Because let's face it, if she isn't there to push buttons like Lieutenant Uhura or read out Wikipedia at Alex, I have a hard time writing her. That and I want to see the fur fly between at least some of these ladies.

I also left it vague how much time has passed this way. So either the light show can start or something else.

SpoilerShow

Well, as an analyst and chronicler/living data repository her role in the war is a rather limited one. Though, given her closeness to Alex - even one surpassing Tempo's and Fireblade's - she is in a unique position to see what makes him tick. Next to these other two, she could be the one to explain to other Loroi why Alex did what he just did - in terms the other Loroi may understand, especially. Second, as long as it isn't classified information, Beryl does believe in sharing - Next to Tempo, she'd be the Loroi to go to for Alex to sound off his more crazy ideas before he might be laughed out of the stateroom by Stillstorm.

Then, there is her curiosity. She wants to learn. She wants to know all of it. And Alex, being a mystery wrapped in an enigma in a hunky (to her eyes) body is definitely nigh irresistible. So want it or not, she will always try to find a way to get involved and may react very poorly if she feels she's shunted aside.

The comparison to TOS's Lt. Uhura is a rather good one, I admit. Compared to Kirk, Spock and Bones she had a minor/advisory role, and mainly when it came to her communications/language skills it was her place to shine. But in opposite to Uhura, Beryl was thrown right in the middle of it from the very start, when they picked up Alex, and then back again when she was to be carted off with him together on the shuttle. But, even there it became clear that she didn't want it any other way...

In any case, a good one. Beryl definitely hadn't completely forgiven Brightshield for cutting into her and Alex's 'private time'.

And, the 'first impressions' he made on the Torrais - on Tempo's suggestion, even, since she advised him to leave the camera in place, after all! - come back to haunt him...

[dragoongfa]

SpoilerShow

I would like to point out that what Alex did with Beryl and his sending to her while with Talon is extraordinary once Beryl actually realizes what happened.

To put it short: Telepathic communications aboard a ship work in the form of a network, if two individuals are in range (the average between Loroi is about 50 meters iirc) then they can directly communicate with each other without anyone else bouncing on the signal and picking up the message. If however the distance is greater then someone has to act as a relay, in case of messages and in the case of widespread commotion due to the sexy alien doing something... sexy. So the images and the commotion Stillstorm picked up were 'second hand' messages being bounced around in excitement.

However what Beryl received was a direct message from Alex to her, with Talon's mind being tagged along. Due to the peculiarity of Alex's Lotai there was no possibility of a relay. In short he 'communicated' with Beryl at a distance that vastly exceeds the Loroi average, the sending was extremely precise and it didn't inconvenience Beryl like a telepathic shout would.

Sky is the limit with how you guys decide to go with this, if the 'connection' is somehow harnessed and tested for its maximum range then it could may actually evolve into instant and precise FTL communications over interstellar distances.

Also tell me if you guys have anything else you want to add, I intend to focus on some other stuff today so there is no pressure to put something down.

[Werra]

SpoilerShow

Well, Tempo has a range of 2 miles with her unamplified sending. If she is average for a Mizol, that means a few hundred meters shouldn't be that outlandish amongst Loroi. If she is twice as good as the average Mizol, that still puts Alex sending as something quite common amongst Loroi. I wouldn't worry about that very much. Unless you want Tempo to do extensive biological experiments with Alex.

I'm done. Go ahead.

[dragoongfa]

SpoilerShow

True Tempo's telesend is 2 miles but I always figured that this was as an unamplified 'shout' something that everyone in the target location would receive and everyone around Tempo would realize as a 'shout' being sent. Like a how everyone hears a loudhailer when someone uses one. In this case no one bar Alex and Beryl picked it up. Still the gimmick is a double edged sword for the story, could be waved away as Alex and Beryl's connection being such that it allows sendings over longer than usual distances but nothing truly extraordinary.

[Werra]

SpoilerShow

True Tempo's telesend is 2 miles but I always figured that this was as an unamplified 'shout' something that everyone in the target location would receive and everyone around Tempo would realize as a 'shout' being sent. Like a how everyone hears a loudhailer when someone uses one. In this case no one bar Alex and Beryl picked it up. Still the gimmick is a double edged sword for the story, could be waved away as Alex and Beryl's connection being such that it allows sendings over longer than usual distances but nothing truly extraordinary.

We don't have to follow up on that plot thread. We could also handwave it by assuming that bridge and baths aren't that far apart from each other. It's an interesting idea to pick up on, but not crucial to the story so far.

[novius]

SpoilerShow

I sort of allowed the liberty to assume that Beryl would be somewhat in ordinary sending range. Maybe a bit far away, but Alex may turn out to be an avid sender while excited... Maybe even somewhere deep in the bowels of the ship rather than at her bridge station, but the idea that Alex did achieve something extraordinary with it has some merit. And, given the current events, no one might have found the time to seriously stop and think about it.

But, if Beryl, or Tempo, may slow down and revisit that moment, they might have a "hey, wait a minute...!" moment.

And perhaps enough reason to revisit their initial musings about human telepathy and the origins of their Lotai. But surely all of the Loroi would be much more interested in the extent of his telepathic abilities, and if they come with other things like telekinetics, too.

[Werra]

Does Tempo even know about Beryl and Alex having such a connection without touch?