[Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

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Hālian
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Hālian »

I would have guessed „die Sanzai“, by analogy with „die Schwärmerei“ and „die Bäckerei“, but then again I'm not a German speaker :P

My guesses for the castes are:
  • der Doranzer, des Doranzers
  • die Torrai, der Torrai or das Torrai, des Torrais
  • die Listel, der Listels?
  • der Teidar, des Teidars
  • die Soroin, der Soroin
  • das Mizol, des Mizols
  • die Tenoin, der Tenoin
and that for the race itself is „die Loroi, der Lorois“.
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Suederwind
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

Very tough question. First: grammar is not my strongpoint, I have to admit. Hated that back in school.
Anyway, articles in German are complicated and sometimes confusing. Additionally to what Krulle said: there are basically three of those articles, der (male), die (female) and das (neutral). For example: the man: der Mann, the woman: die Frau and the car: das Auto.
But there are many exceptions (that could even mean the same thing), like: a car can also be called "Wagen" in everyday language (roughly cart or wagon in English), and that would be "der Wagen", not "das Wagen".
A word from a forreign language can make things even more complicated. For comparison, many words in German, that have to do with communication, are female (insert jokes here). For example: the message: die Nachricht, the conversation: die Unterhaltung, the language: die Sprache. (There are exceptions as always, like: the letter: der Brief).

So I can only trust my feelings here. "Das" is rather unpersonal, but basically not wrong here. It just doesn't feel 100% right to me.
Then there is the question what a sanzai actually is. To me, a sanzai is like a message with more information. At least that is how I understood it from Arioch descriptions. Thats why I have used "die Sanzai" in my notes. Like: Beryl, have you gotten the sanzai from Tempo? - Beryl, hast du die Sanzai von Tempo erhalten?
But, like I said, "das" could fit, too.
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

As all those castes have female members only, it would be "die" in all cases, I assume.
Every nation (or group of people) is also female in German, like: the Germans: die Deutschen, the British: die Briten, the Russians: die Russen, etc... So I would go with die Loroi.
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Krulle »

Plural in German is always "die".
Thus a group of people is always plural and therefore female.
Even men become "female" that way: "Die Männer".... (der Mann/die Männer; die Frau/die Frauen; das Kind/die Kinder)
So, "die Loroi" for the plural is correct, also for the single Female.
"Der Loroi" refers to a single male Loroi.
But a single Loroi being without specifying gender?

To remain with Nations:
das Deutschland ("das Land der Deutschen"), das Frankreich ("das Reich der Franzosen"), das Frankenreich, die Niederlande (die Lande, die Länder, already a plural); das Belgien, das Luxemburg (although it is "die Burg"), das Vereinigte Königreich, das England, das Schottland, das Wales, das Irland, das Nord-Irland, die USA ("die Staaten", a plural of "der Staat"), die Vereinigten Staaten von Amerika, das Kanada, das Russland, die Ukraine, die Türkei, das Griechenland ("das Land der Griechen"), die Faröer (Abk. für "die Faröer-Inseln", plural of "die Insel"),...



We Humans are "der Mensch". But when looking further, this becomes extremely mixed with animals.
Most apes are "der" (Der Affe, der Gorilla, der Schimpanse, der Orang-Utan, der Makaki), actually, no female ape species jumps to my mind.
But there are only few female species...
SpoilerShow
brainstorming:
Der Mensch, die Frau, der Mann, das Kind; plural: die Menschen, die Frauen, die Männer, die Kinder; always "die"
Das Kaninchen, die Zibbe/die Häsin, der Rammler, das Junge
Das Pferd, die Stute, der Hengst, das Fohlen
Das Huhn, die Henne, der Hahn, das Küken
Das Rind, die Kuh, der Bulle/der Stier, das Jungvieh/das Kalb
der Fisch; der Barsch, der Hecht, der Thunfisch, der Delfin, der Wal, der Hai, der Rochen, ....
brainstorming does not yield any species with female singulars when non-gender-specific....
[edit]der Vogel, der Kolibri, das Rotkehlchen, der Auerhahn, der Pfau, der Adler, der Falke, die Meise, die Amsel, die Drossel, der Finke, der Star, ... (I added the birds later when the message was nearly done and I thought about birds)[/edit]
Even after a google search I found only insects : die Biene, die Wespe, die Spinne, die Hummel, die Ameise....
So, that seems to fit "die Umiak" better. although my brain immediately goes plural in this case, and wants "der Umiak" as non-gender-specific singular.
Oh wait: die Meise, die Amsel, so, there are Birds too....

So, I propose we differentiate: Loroi as race, and "die Loroi-Frau", "der Loroi-Mann", "das Loroi-Kind".... but whether "der/die/das" Loroi... No idea.

Regarding Sanzai: I thought that defines the concept of sending and receiving messages. And does not specify a single telepathic message.
So I would not say Beryl, have you gotten the sanzai from Tempo? anyway, but Beryl, have you been addressed via Sanzai[/i] by Tempo too?[/i].
As translation of Sanzai into Standard, I would use "telepathic message", although Sanzai also encompasses the constant, non-conscious background contact. But for a specific message I would not use the term Sanzai.

"Die Loroi" I can agree to easily, but "die Sanzai"?.... Just feels "off" to me...
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

Plural in German is indeed always "die", thats true.

As with species. We are talking about fictive race, so examples like elves and dwarves spring into my mind, which would be "die Elfen" and "die Zwerge". So, I would assume "die Loroi" for them as a race is correct.

However, sanzai appears to be much more complicated. In case of a specific message I would say "die Sanzai" or be more precise "diese Sanzai" (roughly: this particular sanzai).
In case of an activity, like actually sending such a message, things would be different. In the Cydonia RP we used the term "sanzaied" for that. A rough translation would be "sanzaien" in German and you can make a noun out of it, like: "to sanzai the information was difficult" = "das sanzaien der Information war schwierig".
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Hālian »

Those are genitives, not plurals, and AFAICT every native German noun ending in R is masculine.

For the species, I put „die Loroi“ because the vast majority of loroi are female, and the males are so cloistered. (The Loroi Union would be „die Loroi-Vereinigung“, I would think, because both „Loroi“ and „Vereinigung“ are female.)
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

AFAICT every native German noun ending in R is masculine.
As always, there ar exceptions: "die Abwehr" or "die Ziffer" as an example.

You can keep Union instead of "Vereinigung". The later sounds a bit old fashioned and is usually used for various forms of Associations (and is a very old fashioned term for sex).
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Krulle »

Die Uhr, die Mär, ...das Heer, die Natur, das Messer, das Haar, das Gewehr, die Bar, die Kür, das Ohr, die Tür, das Tor, das Wir, das Bier, die Gier, das Jahr, das Moor, die Oper, das Paar, das Rohr, die Ruhr, die Rur, die Spur, das Tier, die Tour, das Ufer, die Mauer, das Sonar, die Viper, die Zäsur, das Gespür, ...

No, that is not even a rule..
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Hālian »

God I'm stupid.
Suederwind wrote:"Vereinigung"… sounds a bit old fashioned…
:D
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

A small status update:
-Went through every story post so far and corrected various minor errors.
-(Hopefully) corrected that embarrasing Antimon/Antimony error. (Please tell me if I missed one)
-Next part is in the works.
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Krulle »

Carl Miller wrote:Those are genitives, not plurals, and AFAICT every native German noun ending in R is masculine.

For the species, I put „die Loroi“ because the vast majority of loroi are female, and the males are so cloistered. (The Loroi Union would be „die Loroi-Vereinigung“, I would think, because both „Loroi“ and „Vereinigung“ are female.)
Somehow I skipped the second part of this post apparently....

No, the article "der-die-das" orients itself towards the last word in combinations....

der Weihnachtsbaum ("das Weihnachten", "der Baum")...
der Autoabstellplatz ("das Auto", "der Abstellplatz", "das Abstellen", "der Platz")
das Frauenhaus (die Frau/die Frauen, das Haus)
der Automotor (das Auto, der Motor, - but "der Tor" or "das Tor" is not the last word used, just the syllable itself is by chance a word by itself...)
das Freudenhaus (die Freude, das Haus)
die Pferdekutsche (das Pferd, die Kutsche)

How disoriented will the Loroi be when wanting to learn German?
English is nearly as simple as a trade language... Compared to most languags anyway.
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Tamri »

Krulle wrote: Somehow I skipped the second part of this post apparently....

No, the article "der-die-das" orients itself towards the last word in combinations....

der Weihnachtsbaum ("das Weihnachten", "der Baum")...
der Autoabstellplatz ("das Auto", "der Abstellplatz", "das Abstellen", "der Platz")
das Frauenhaus (die Frau/die Frauen, das Haus)
der Automotor (das Auto, der Motor, - but "der Tor" or "das Tor" is not the last word used, just the syllable itself is by chance a word by itself...)
das Freudenhaus (die Freude, das Haus)
die Pferdekutsche (das Pferd, die Kutsche)

How disoriented will the Loroi be when wanting to learn German?
English is nearly as simple as a trade language... Compared to most languags anyway.
Given that at least Tempo knows exactly Umiak language, hardly study of language with the unwonted structure or rules for them is a big problem. And why German? Let's just Japanese, Chinese, or something of the Slavic language family.

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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Sweforce »

I just came to think about the fact that these loroi have learned English from Alex. Alex's English. But that is the English of his time and probably salted by some youthful slang as well. This could be problematic especially considering the fact that it probably contains brand new words. For example "to google" have become synonymous with making an internet search but people searched the web before the creation of that expression and they would not understand the concept unless someone explained it to them. As such the English the loroi have learned may be to modern to be fully understood.

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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Tamri »

Sweforce wrote:I just came to think about the fact that these loroi have learned English from Alex. Alex's English. But that is the English of his time and probably salted by some youthful slang as well. This could be problematic especially considering the fact that it probably contains brand new words. For example "to google" have become synonymous with making an internet search but people searched the web before the creation of that expression and they would not understand the concept unless someone explained it to them. As such the English the loroi have learned may be to modern to be fully understood.
This, what are you talking about, called the differences between literary and spoken language. And it is absolutely normal for any language, because the spoken language depends on the cultural environment and literature - from writen rules of language, that are less exposed to the influence of the surrounding cultural phenomena. However, for what would be the subject of these two languages ​​were formed in some dialects should be a great time. An example is the Chinese language in which the written wenyan, he is a literary Chinese, for centuries had changed so much from a dozen spoken dialects, that in fact he has become a dialect. But in most cases, knowing at least some dialect of language to understand others - it is quite a feasible task.

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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

Rejoice! Finally a new chapter.

Edit: corrected a few stupid misstakes, changed a few minor things for better readability.
--------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter 18: Ambassador



"Show me the way."
Was, what the blue skinned and dark violett haired woman had requested from her. Yes, she was injured, but she knew that Heinemann would like to speak with one of those 'Loroi' as soon as possible.

As soon as they were aboard, Haverkamp gave her some painkillers that made her feel a bit dizzy, but it was clear to her that further treatment had to wait untill after the meeting.

It was a relieve to Ludovski, that Matrose Haverkamp still helped her moving around, while Antimony and Lightning followed her. Without him she would have just been able to crawl or not move a centimeter at all.

However, as she looked around, she saw that a lot of those 'Loroi' were in even worse shape. They were even rejecting any kind of medical help, which infuriated Oberleutnant Müller.

"Why won't you let us help them? Whats wrong?!"

But the Loroi he was talking to, the one called Gladius, just stared him down. Something she hadn't thought was possible. But regardless how much she didn't like the Oberleutnant, he had a valid point. They needed assistance.

"Is something wrong, Fähnrich?"

The 'Loroi' diplomatic Officer asked her.

"Well… I think your crew is in need of medical help…"

"Yes, that is something I am eager to… discuss… with your commanding officer."

"Good, we better not let him wait then."


She and Haverkamp finally reached the open bridge of Hermelin. The steps to get up there were especially tricky for Haverkamp and quite painful for herself, but she managed to get there.
The first thing she noticed were two crewmembers, armed with MP5s, standing guard. She felt kind of relieved as she saw the Kaleun again and had to restrain herself from smiling brightly at him.
Somehow she couldn't help herself from feeling kind of happy every time she was around him.
But this time she just saluted him and reported what happened.

(Following discussion is in German)

"Fähnrich Ludovsky reports back. We have managed to secure the vessel and rescue its crew of 25. Two of our crewmembers were injured, me included. Their diplomatic officer wants to speak with you."

She pointed at Lightning as her small report came to an end.

"Good. We will discuss the details later, Fähnrich. You should get yourself some medical help. That leg looks nasty."

"It will be fine…"

"Understood."


Heinemann then looked to the two Loroi, saluted them and said in his best English:
"I am ze commanding offizer of thzis vessel…"

While the two Loroi looked confused at each other, she couldn't help but ask:
"Uhm… Herr Kaleun, would you allow me to translate?"

"…yeah…"

"I am sorry for the… inconvenience... This is our commanding officer, Kapitänleutnant Heinemann. His English is not perfect and he asked me to translate for him. He welcomes you aboard of the Hermelin, by the way."

"I see…"


Was all the diplomatic officer could reply, while Antimony started to look over him with great interest. After a few moments she added:
"My name is Mizol Lennai Daza, but you can call me Ligthning. Thank you… for your warm welcome. We are sorry for any… trouble… that followed our… arrival."

Ludovski noticed that Antimony was gesturing at Lightning again and it seemed to her like some form of silent communication. The memory of her, touching the hand of the redhaired one came back into her mind.

The Kaleuns words brought her back from that short trip down memory lane:
(in German:)
"I understood that…"

Heinemann then wanted to know who they are and if that attack they witnessed was their doing. Lightning just nodded at Antmony and she replied:

"My name is Listel Tozet Beitil. The later is my spoken name and it means Antimony in your language. We are Loroi and found your ambassador.
Our mission is to establish a diplomatic contact as your government requested, but our ship was damaged and crash landed. We are sorry for any damage or loss of life that may have caused."


It became very silent on Hermelins bridge for a while. The Kaleun just looked at the redhaired Loroi in utter disbelieve and managed to reply only one word:
"What?"

"Were my words not clear to you?"


Heinemann answered the red haired Listel, visibly annoyed:
"If zis iz a joke from Admiral von Schneider, iz not very funny…"

"No, this is not a joke."

The blond Fähnrich then looked at Antimony and added:
"You found our ambassador? What do you mean?"
Last edited by Suederwind on Tue Sep 20, 2016 11:04 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Krulle
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Krulle »

SpoilerShow
I got hung up at threatment instead of treatment. So, you're getting the same treatment by me "Korinthenkacker" as the other great authors did.
Suederwind wrote:[...]

As soon as they were aboard, Haverkamp gave her some painkillers that made her feel a bit dizzy, but it was clear to her that further threatmenttreatment had to wait untill after the meeting.

[...]

"Yes, thatsthat's something I am eager to… discuss… with your commanding officer."

[...]

She and Haverkamp finally reached the open bridge of Hermelin. The steps to get up there were especially tricky for Haverkamp and quite painfullpainful for herself, but she managed to get there.
The first thing she noticed were two crememberscrewmembers, armed with MP5s, standing guard. She felt kind of relieved as she saw the Kaleun again and had to restrain herself from smiling brighlybrightly at him.
Somehow she couldn't help herself from feeling king of happy evertimeevery time she was around him.
But this time she just saluted him and reported what happened.

[...]

Heinemann then wanted to know who they are and if that attack they withnessedwitnessed was their doing. Lightning just nodded at Antmony and she replied:

"My name is Listel Tozet Beitil. The later is my spoken name and it means Antimony in your language. We are Loroi and found your ambassador.
Our mission is to establish a diplomatic contact as your govermentgovernment requested, but our ship was damaged and crash landed. We are sorry for any damage or loss of life that may have caused."

It became very silent on Hermelins bridge for a while. The Kaleun just looked at the redhaired Loroi in utherutter disbelieve and managed to reply one word:

[...]

Heinemann answered her, visiblevisibly annoyed.
I also stumbled over too many free lines. E.g.
"If zis iz a joke from Admiral von Schneider, iz not very funny…"
Heinemann answered her, visible annoyed.
looks more like what's said belongs to KaLeun Heinemann than with the free line you currently have.


Now, to the content: Thank You! Very enjoyable, again.
Now the Loroi finally found out something is amiss.
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

I'll try to fix those errors as soon as I can and loading a page doesn't take around 5 minutes or so. :evil:
Glad you enjoyed it anyway.

Edit: should be better now. I originally added empty lines for better readability, removed a few of them to avoid some confusion and make it clearer who said which part of the conversation.
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Krulle »

In the meantime I did some "querlesen" to update the list of Humans who appeared and updated it here

A copy for faster reference:
SpoilerShow
Nato rank German rang title = US navy equivalent
Flag officer ranks
OF-10 Großadmiral = Admiral of the Navy
OF-9 Generaladmiral = Fleet Admiral
OF-8 Admiral = Admiral Admiral von Schneider (been watching Miss Sophie's 90th birthday lately?)
OF-7 Vizeadmiral = Vice admiral
OF-6 Konteradmiral = Rear admiral
Officer ranks
OF-5a Kommodore = Commodore
OF-5 Kapitän zur See = Captain
OF-4 Fregattenkapitän = Commander
OF-3 Korvettenkapitän = Lieutenant commander
OF-2 Kapitänleutnant = Lieutenant "Kaleun" Gerhard Heinemann
OF-1a Oberleutnant zur See = Lieutenant (junior grade) Oberleutnant Müller
OF-1 Leutnant zur See = Ensign Leutnant Becker
Officer candidate ranks
OD-2 Oberfähnrich zur See = Passed Midshipman
OD-1 Fähnrich zur See = Midshipman Fähnrich Tamara Ludowski

Others, not from the linked list:
Maat = Petty Officer Second Class Maat Geißler
Matrose = Sailor Matrose Haverkamp, Matrose Schirmer

Rank yet unknown, likely simple Matrosen: Zenker, Strehle
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

Zenker and Strehle are both Matrosen.
There is the Smutje (Hermelins cook) Maat Geffken, infamous for its meals and also responsible for anything beyond first aid aboard (those small boats don't have a doctor aboard).

Yet to appear: Hermelins LI (Leitender Ingeneur = Chief Engineer) and the Helmsmen. There might be other minor characters.

However, I always thought Fähnrich was the equivalent to Ensign. That seems not the case. :geek:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fähnrich
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Krulle »

A copy for faster reference:
SpoilerShow
Nato rank German rang title = US navy equivalent
Flag officer ranks
OF-10 Großadmiral = Admiral of the Navy
OF-9 Generaladmiral = Fleet Admiral
OF-8 Admiral = Admiral Admiral von Schneider (been watching Miss Sophie's 90th birthday lately?)
OF-7 Vizeadmiral = Vice admiral
OF-6 Konteradmiral = Rear admiral
Officer ranks
OF-5a Kommodore = Commodore
OF-5 Kapitän zur See = Captain
OF-4 Fregattenkapitän = Commander
OF-3 Korvettenkapitän = Lieutenant commander
OF-2 Kapitänleutnant = Lieutenant "Kaleun" Gerhard Heinemann
OF-1a Oberleutnant zur See = Lieutenant (junior grade) Oberleutnant Müller (also weapons officer)
OF-1 Leutnant zur See = Ensign Leutnant Becker
Officer candidate ranks
OD-2 Oberfähnrich zur See = Passed Midshipman
OD-1 Fähnrich zur See = Midshipman Fähnrich Tamara Ludowski

Others, not from the linked list:
Maat = Petty Officer Second Class Maat Geißler, Maat Geffken (Smutje = cook; medical officer on board of Hermelin)
Matrose = Sailor Matrose Haverkamp, Matrose Schirmer, Matrose Zenker, Matrose Strehle
You mentioned the cook, but without name so far.


Well, I did link the comparison list back then.... ;)
Not much of a problem, IMHO.


PS:
Früher wussten wir nicht wie man Ingenieur schreibt, Heute sind wir einen. (Grammar error at the end, not a spelling error - on purpose!)
Last edited by Krulle on Tue Aug 02, 2016 1:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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