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[Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Completed: 06/04/2018) 
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/11/2018)
Spoiler: show
dragoongfa wrote:
Chapter 6, part 2


[...]


I It was either that or letting you know that he wants to mate with you. Human males are like that and The Pale Horse is a somewhat honest male.”


[...]

“No Loroi wants to end up like the Soians as we witnessed them, becoming emotionless organic machines isn’t something to strive for.” Stillstorm commented (I think there's a dot missing at the end of this paragraph)

[...]

“Loroi mental honesty is indeed refreshing. Humans have the nasty habit of disputing even the self-evident truth for their own ego’s shake sake.” Death commented before continuing. “If you refuse to ascend like all the others do then your kind runs the risk of destroying everything around you then the moment you awake those like me and my siblings.”

[...]

“Humanity doesn’t make sense, never did and never will.” Death replied as a matter of fact. “It must be your own path and your own decisions, whatever may come to pass it must be yours alone. Looking at their history it seems ridiculous to consider that out of all ascendants humans would be the ones who would detest dictating and enforcing a false order onto the lesser races. Each and every last one of them thinks that they know better and that their proposals are the right thing to do, give an individual human enough power and they will mess things up for the lesser races just like the other Ascendants have done. As a collective however, where no individual is above reproach, then they realize that they don’t (is there a "know" missing?) anything; that all the ideas they may have about how things should be are just illusions to the greatness that the infinity of the universe is capable of bringing forth. TheThey have realized that the only think of importance that they know about the universe is that fools who think they know best don’t know anything. The universe will bring what may and the lesser races shall Ascend or die on their own. No Ascendant shall be allowed to interfere to any lesser race around us; I and all of my siblings will make sure of this.” Once again they sensed Death abandon its playfulness, this time with a absolute resolve about what it… they intended to do.

[...]

“He has said that honor demands all this of them.” Stillstorm sent (again, a dot missing?)

[...]

“Will you four cooperate or will we have to find others?” Stillstorm sensed the other three focusing themselves on her, all of them were waiting for her answer before making up their mind, even Fireblade who for all intents and purposes stood far above them (this seems wrong. a "the" seems to fit, but I'm not entirely sure and confident in my knowledge of the English language details in this regard, as I see also other solutions to making sense of the sentence while leaving "them" as is.) abilities and perceptiveness as she was now.

[...]


Yes, the first part is much better understandable now. I needed this second part ot make sense of it (also a reason why I haven't replied to it back when I read it).


Also, I will take a quote out of context, just because I like it (the quote says truth):
Quote:
“Humanity doesn’t make sense, never did and never will.” Death replied.



Also, in this chapter you alwas say "The Pale Horse" (all words capitalized).
In the first part, it's mostly "Pale horse". Shouldn't "horse" be capitalized too?

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Mon Feb 12, 2018 6:11 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/11/2018)
Yes, he is The Pale Horse. Death's first 'mount'. All the other commanders after him are also described as a 'pale horse' but he was the first and the one who was the reason for the adoption of the name by his successors.

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My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:48 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The Pale Horse
The name became a tilte.
Just like Caesar became a title after Gaius Julius Caesar....

That much I understood. :)

Anyway, thanks for sharing. I like your stories. (Although not necessarily chapter 6, too much bloodshed/aggression/overpowered artifact/... after the Mindnetwork singularity took over.)

BTW: in part 1, the planet Elysium nearly avoided destruction....
I just started reading Elysium Fire by Alastair Reynolds.
Nice coincidence.... :)

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charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
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Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:51 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 04/09/2018)
Chapter 7, part 1

It seemed hopeless; there was no conceivable way to turn the situation around. Most if not all of her Strike Group’s ships would end up destroyed regardless of what they did. They could easily weather the first Shell division but the second and third divisions with their Super Heavies would reach them while they would still be dispersed, destroying her ships one by one.
They couldn’t run, the Shells had the speed advantage; it would take too long for her Strike Group to accelerate to the speed necessary to outrun the Shells, they couldn’t even dodge the attack as the second and third waves would easily adjust their course to hit the 51st straight on.

Their best chances of survival laid on a suicidal charge of the 51st into the first division all for the sole purpose of building up speed, trusting their relative speed, screens and luck to keep some of her ships able to disperse in all directions and try to flee with their newly built up velocity. It was the only decision she could take on the matter, she damned first the Shells and then the damnable alien who must have tricked them, whatever they would get out of him and his ship wasn’t worth her entire Strike Group but there was nothing she could do about this anymore. She drew a deep breath to prepare herself for giving the last order of her command, having decided to keep Tempest charging against the enemy even after the 51st would disperse, the last of the Vortex ships offering itself as a target in order for some of the rest of its comrades would survive. She signaled Rune-Laurel to activate her command channel but the window that opened soon after wasn’t that.

“This is Senator Alexander Jardin of the Terran Confederation to the Hierarchy ships. I am currently hosted aboard one of the Loroi Union’s ships. Any aggression against these ships will be seen as a hostile act against the Terran Confederation and will be treated accordingly.” Stillstorm just stared in shock at the holographic window which closed the moment the alien stopped.

“Who authorized that?”
She shouted angrily.

“It was sent by all ships using Parat Tempo’s admiralty authorization.”
Rune-Laurer replied.

“I want her and the alien…”


“Incoming transmission, audio only, unknown sender, location of origin cannot be pinpointed.”
Rune-Laurel interrupted her.

“Understood.” A deep voice said before the transmitted message ended. She wondered for a moment what all that was about but the incoming Shell armada brought her back to the here and now.

“Rune-Laurel, my command channel!”
Stillstorm ordered and this time the holographic windows of all of her squadron commanders popped up instantly.

“Full acceleration towards the enemy, concentrate all firepower into breaking through their torpedoes and formation, hold nothing back and break through their first wave. All ships are to scatter and disperse after that. Get all ships that you can back to Azimol and report on what has happened.” She ordered without waiting for their reports.

“Understood.” There was no hint of a complaint from the four of them, they knew that the Shells had them at a severe disadvantage and that the only thing that they could do was to save as many ships as possible. They all knew that most of them wouldn’t make it and for a brief moment Stillstorm wondered if that was one of Sunfall’s last orders at the height of the Semoset disaster, a desperate attack to break through the encroaching Shells when everything was lost.

“The first of the Shell divisions is cutting loose their gunboats.”
Rune Laurel reported. “They are launching torpedoes.” Stillstorm just stared at the display, preparing herself to give her final order to open fire as they closed in with the enemy, she knew that whatever would happen would happen quickly but she wasn’t prepared for what unfolded.
The first sign that something wasn’t right was when all of the Shell torpedoes just exploded in unison, as if someone had given a self-order. The Shell gunboats and warships just kept coming but they had ceased accelerating towards them.

“What’s going on?”
Stillstorm asked without really thinking.

“Energy readings on the Shell ships have fallen!”
Listel Tozet Antimony begun reporting a moment later. “Detecting no ECM emissions, electromagnetic screens have been deactivated and their engines are offline. Remaining energy readings suggest that life support systems are the only things active on all their ships!” Stillstorm just stared first at the Listel and then at the bridge encompassing display before an other holographic window opened in front of her.

“I don’t particularly enjoy getting shot at.” The alien begun, the broadcast once again done under the Mizol’s authority.“Especially when I don’t have the means to shoot back, I think that certain someones need to experience such a situation in order to understand why I don’t like being in such a position.” The alien finished, his holographic window closing an instant after that; leaving Stillstorm to stare dumbfounded for a brief moment at the spot it held.

“Belay my last order, cease acceleration and engage all Shell ships at will, disengage immediately if they become active again.” Stillstorm ordered her squadron commanders after collecting her wits.

“Open fire!”
She ordered Tempest’s gunners as she raised her arm, cursing herself for not giving the order the instant the Shells had come in range. Tempest fired first, the ship’s eight pulse canons finding their mark in an instant, a single Heavy ship that simply exploded a moment later. The rest of the 51st immediately joined in, all of their shots hitting their intended targets, Heavy and Medium ships exploding or left crippled from the punishment they received. They were completely defenseless and unable to do anything, without screens, without ECM and unable to maneuver; all of them were just targets waiting their turn. It wasn’t a battle, it wasn’t even a slaughter, it was…

“Target Practice…”
Stillstorm thought and Rune-Laurel chuckled, to be followed immediately by most of the bridge as the earlier tension from what seemed to be Tempest’s last charge disappeared. Moments later another Heavy was foundered by Tempest’s eight Pulse Cannons and heard Torret Ashrain and Mazeit Moonglow argue about that wager of theirs again. Moonglow teasing that since Tsunami had eight Pulse Cannons to Black Razor’s four then they would have to cease their count in order to keep things fair.

“Or perhaps Tsunami’s kills should count as half for the time being.” Stillstorm cut in. “If of course Torret Ashrain agrees that the amount of firepower one has at their disposal does matter.”

“It’s not the number of canons that matter; it’s how you use them.” Ashrain replied confidently as Black Razor took out another Heavy.

“My Lashret the alien wishes to speak with you.”
Rune-Laurel sent to draw her attention from the… target practice.

“On screen.”
Stillstorm replied as she sat to her station, the holographic window depicting the smiling alien appearing in front of her.

“After much thinking I have come to the conclusion that luck is a very fickle force of the universe.” The alien begun. “It is not a fair force and it is not random, its favor and disfavor shifting from individuals like the pattern is the product of a whimsical child. I believe that luck works self-indulgently, all of its shifts in its favor done so with the sole purpose of gaining a short of perverse entertainment out of the unfolding situations. It enjoys watching us come to terms with everything it threw at us and sometimes it begins favoring those it willingly hurt before in order to see what happens. It seems to me that luck has taken a favorable interest to you Torrai Lashret Stillstorm, make sure that it enjoys the spectacle.”

“Is this all your doing?”

“I merely put certain things into motion because I don’t like getting shot at. They shot at me and nearly killed me, would have succeeded in doing so if not for you and your ship. Now you are doing to them what they did to me as a result of everything, unless you find everything about this to be distasteful.” The alien replied.

“They would use the opportunity to do the same to us if given the chance. I don’t like my actions to mirror theirs but I don’t show mercy to those who never showed mercy to mine.” She replied as she observed the target practice session that the 51st was pertaining in.

“Never believed otherwise.” The alien said with a nod. “In a few moments you will receive a transmission with all of the Shell ships that are of interest to you for one reason or another, your Teidar will certainly want to visit them for some answers and to greet the Stray in person.”

“The Stray? It was in command?”

“Indeed, he would play a key role in the offensive that they expected to end the war but something unexpected forced the Stray in a course of action whose results you are now witnessing.” The alien replied and smiled once again.

“One thing strikes me as odd in all this.” Stillstorm begun. “Why would a Senator ride alone on an unescorted ship in the middle of a warzone and allow his ship to be shot at by the Shells?”

“I expect this conversation to be deleted from your records one way or the other so I will be as candid as I can while considering the circumstances we are all in. The Confederation isn’t really united in thought and the time you had left was too limited for a consensus to be reached about a course of action. I simply decided to take a roundabout route to my destination in order to force the issue back home. I… miscalculated in my approach to the situation and I was nearly killed but I don’t think either of us have a reason to complain with the end result we are finding ourselves in. The Union will be aided in the war by a Terran Confederation that will unanimously agree that an attack on me could not be left unanswered.” The alien explained.

“I don’t understand why you would personally take such risks for all this.” He just shrugged at that.

“No real reason. Perhaps I am a really superficial person who finds your kind to be prettier than the Shells.” Stillstorm couldn’t help but laugh at that but for some reason she knew that the alien was hiding something important from them. She would have to have a long talk with him later but for now she had to make sure that they would get every last Shell in Naam.

“For how long can we expect this target practice session to continue?”

“For as long as I am onboard your ship and I see no reason to leave just yet.” He replied before continuing. “Of course I have to mention the important issue regarding the equipment your salvage teams took from my ship. I expect everything to be eventually returned to the Confederation when time and the war permits, a lot of our portable computer systems are ansible capable so I will know where they are and who is fiddling with them at all times. I will even make sure for you to get a set of basic instruction manuals so you know what you will have to eventually return.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Stillstorm asked.

“It’s important that my equipment be eventually returned Lashret Stillstorm. Everything is keyed with my Senatorial access privileges to our information network, it would be improper for a foreign power to get accidental access to it and all the privileged information contained within especially since the last thing I did was to check the real time Shell naval asset positions as I plotted my ship's course. The Confederation will of course provide all the help that the Loroi Union needs in order to win the war but it would be improper for your kind to get privileged access to said information before my government makes a final decision in a few nanapis.”

“I see… I will make sure that all of your equipment will be returned to your government, eventually.” Stillstorm replied after realizing what he was implying, making her wish that a Mizol would be nearby to save her from looking like a fool.

“I am glad we understand each other Lashret Stillstorm. Now I think that your duties are far more pressing than my diplomatic obligations and I am still in the middle of a Crossfire game with Parat Tempo. Enjoy your target practice.”

Chapter 7, part 2: viewtopic.php?p=30171#p30171

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My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by Guest on Sun Jun 03, 2018 2:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Apr 09, 2018 1:16 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 02/11/2018)
And this is the reason as to why I didn't want to break my rule about posting new stories before finishing the previous one. I will try to finish 'The Pale Horse' before continuing with 'Reforged'

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My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Mon Apr 09, 2018 1:19 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 04/09/2018)
Thank you, once again.

But killing several divisions which are unable to defend themselves?
I wonder why Senator A. Jardin allows the Loroi to continue...

But then, he maybe just is a superficial being, just liking the beauty of blue space elves over the insectoidal Umiak.

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charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
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Tue Apr 10, 2018 2:39 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The Pale Horse
Krulle wrote:
The name became a tilte.
Just like Caesar became a title after Gaius Julius Caesar....
Just for reference, Caesar was a title before Julius, just not one implying Imperatorship (which didn't properly get invented until Augustus anyways, Julius was playing at being a King, or "Rex"). One of his ancestors earned it for something or the other, I think in a war.

It apparently means "hairy".


Tue Apr 17, 2018 6:47 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 04/09/2018)
Gaius was his given name.
Julius his family name.
Caesar a nickname denoting his family branch within the Julius family. (a "Cognomen")
By the time Gaius Julius was born, the Caesar had become hereditary too for this family branch.

(wikipedia's list of Roman cognomina, alas without an explanation of the meaning of Caesar)

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charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123


Wed Apr 18, 2018 11:57 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Updated: 06/04/2018)
Chapter 7, part 2

The instant of opening one’s eyes after a long foray to the past was always off putting, the sensation of her own skin not fitting quite right passed quickly but its memory lingered for many solons, especially if they witnessed something that brought strong emotions forth. The ‘truth seekers’ with her, the most capable of the Nedatan seers and archivists, didn’t usually come out of the trance as well as she did but they persevered, eagerly seeking and absorbing everything that the Tempests had to offer.

The human never told any of them but the orange haired Tempest of Deinar was one of many who attempted to reach their descendants in the far future, all of them sending the truth forward into the unknown, hoping that one day the truth would be caught and fully grasped so those that would inevitably follow would learn from their mistakes and not repeat them.

The males that made the ‘truth seekers’ could now look into the past on their own; they were by far her best students but they were still limited and exploring the past was dangerous. She couldn’t allow them to venture back alone, she couldn’t let any harm come to them; they were the ones who would guide their kind’s souls and heal the self-inflicted damage on their collective self. Unlike most of the warriors these few brave males understood the importance of knowing one’s true past so they could know themselves.
She waved away her assistants as she stood up from her recliner and walked among the four recliners on which the males sat; their caretakers making sure that the four of them were well before allowing them to stand. All four of them were well and they greeted her despite their grogginess, she smiled at them and bid them farewell before leaving the room; her ridiculous entourage of assistants caretakers falling suit behind her as soon as they saw her.

She liked spending time with the ‘truth seekers’, discussing about everything they observed and how all little actions subtly reverberated throughout eternity. They were among her closest confidantes but they were still so limited in all aspects and always in awe of her; to a degree that rivaled the warriors of her cult, it was annoying but she couldn’t hold it against them, it was just how things were for the time being.

She entered her personal chambers with her horde of assistants in tow, she stood still and spread her arms as four of her caretakers undressed her with machine like precision while others prepared her bath and towels before every single one of them left her chambers; leaving her completely naked to stare at the mannequin that now wore her imperial armor.

All of the previous Emperors loved their hordes of servants, gossipy lackeys and manipulative sycophants but they were just noise to her. Tiring to even look at, the fact that she still used the Imperial palaces and that she still followed the established protocols regarding how the Emperor should not wear or take off her armor by herself were the only concessions she gave on the matter and the later was only because she hated wasting the time it took to put on and take off the extravagant design that was her office’s armor.

She slowly entered the pool sized bathtub and relaxed herself in the warm water as she emptied her mind. Such moments of idle relaxation were rare for her and she only ever allowed three others to join her in them. They were the only ones who knew but all three were nowhere near Deinar at that moment. Tempo was touring the Delrias territories to discuss the final details of their ascension from a subjugated race to full Union membership. Beryl was at Historian space, the first Loroi to be allowed full access to a Pol enclave and Stillstorm was on Taben, sailing alone with her small sailing boat, searching for peace within her. She only allowed these three to keep her company in such a time but the unannounced and uninvited visitor she sensed also knew and was growing impatient.

“How long do I have to wait before you address me Emperor Fireblade?”
The human asked as he remained out of sight.

“All foreign dignitaries who desire a meeting with the Loroi Emperor have to follow the official channels and procedures in order to schedule said meeting for when the Emperor’s schedule allows. This includes the advanced and enigmatic humans who aided us in the Great War before shutting themselves within their borders.”
Fireblade replied with a machine like telepathic tone, making the human laugh as he remained out of sight.

“I am afraid that I no longer hold an official position and as thus such avenues remain closed to me for the time being.”
He replied playfully. “Yet I wanted to pass along my pleasant surprise as to how things have come to be since the last time we met.”

“So you are now just Fleet Admiral Alexander Jardin, retired, also known as The Pale Horse.”


“Indeed although our telepathic monikers are never used in any form of identification.”
She knew that but she enjoyed the feint mental recoil that mentioning his moniker caused him.

“Won’t you and yours be in trouble again? For coming in contact with me despite your probation for breaking the ‘no interference’ laws?”
His mind betrayed his surprise at that. “I didn’t look only at my kind’s past when I ‘learned’ how to do that. I know that your kind’s intervention was done solely on your behest despite your laws. You were the one who forced the issue of the ‘Loroi Question’ with your actions. I should be angry of you putting us in danger of having your kind’s other 15 dreadstars and their collectives do what the Shells were about to do.”

“I was… desperate.”
He admitted after a few solons.

“It was a calculated risk but your kind is full of fools even greater than you. I know that such an event will never come to pass without a justifiable cause so the act has been postponed indefinitely until said cause is provided by us.”
Fireblade replied. “And for this… I am thankful.”

“Not many would be so… understanding of such a threat against their whole race.”
He replied in surprise.

“It’s because your kind is an odd kind of fools. I used to think that your kind was wise and all-knowing but I realized the truth about you after observing your past.”
Fireblade replied before chuckling.

“And what is the truth about us?”
She recited his question before he could even form it in his mind, pausing for a moment so he could recollect his wits.

“I know that it is the one question that lingers at the back of your kind’s minds. It lingers on everyone’s minds but your kind places a lot more importance to it than others realize. Your Old Worlds have been aware of us for over three of your generations, more than a century before the first of you Ascended. You simply weren’t looking at this side of the Great Wasteland, electing to focus your efforts at the riches that were at the other side. All this time you knew about us you praised us and loathed us in equal measure, we were and still are too much like you. We weren’t truly alien to you; the Mizol, the end product of the Soians, would be alien to you but we Loroi are not them. You see yourselves through us despite the glaring differences; you see everything that you love and hate about yourselves on us and you simply can’t help it. The only reason as to why your Old Worlds didn’t approach us and elected to hide us from the rest of your Worlds was because you were afraid of them, you were weaker than them at the time and they would have defeated you had they known and elected to expand in our territories. Your leaders elected to protect your Old Worlds and by extension us by propagating the lie that you humans were all lone, the same lie that ate at your kind’s soul as it sought someone else, anyone else, to just look at you and make a judgment. All alone and unchallenged but driven to compete and fight; you had no other recourse but to compete and fight among yourselves as you sought answers to questions you didn’t even know how to form. Thousands of conflicts, millions of battles and uncountable dead in the singular millennium you have been traversing the stars. Unprecedented speed of technological mastery, feats of engineering that few other races among all the galaxies have ever achieved, breathtaking works of artful expression; a people we would gladly accept as our template had we known about you and yet you were never truly challenged. Always alone and always in conflict, with no other sapient race in position to ever test you as you expanded to the cosmos from Mother Earth.”


“Mother Earth?” He asked.

“We have always called Deinar, Perrein and Taben the ‘Sister Worlds’, sisters have to have a mother.”
Fireblade replied as she rose from the giant bath, put on the robe that was prepared for her before sitting to dry her long red hair at one of the hair dryers. “We Loroi were repeatedly tested. The Delrias tested us as warriors and we overcame them. The Mannadi tested us as warriors and we overcame them. The Shells tested us as warriors and we failed; the price of that failure would be death if not for your kind. Some would say that you were lucky in being left to thrive alone, to peacefully explore the secrets of the universe but I know that this is not the case. You weren’t lucky because in the end you only had yourselves to test your kind’s prowess and when all these tests were over and done with you looked first at your blood soaked selves and then at the cosmos that was now suddenly full of other sapient races that were all totally alien to you. Backward races whose advancement seemed stagnant when compared to yours and emotionless machines of flesh and blood who sought to control everything that was around them. You were truly alone; none of them were like you and worse of all there never was anyone like you before. In the billions of years that the universe existed only you had reached the summit of true ascension and despaired when you realized that there was no one else like you and there would probably never be someone you could call your equal. The fragmented nature of your kind gave you some solace, you were just the Old Worlds, a minority among your kind; the rest of your race lagging behind but were approaching the pinnacle in their own pace. Perhaps they would find some answers about your kind as they too would in turn Ascend but then one of their nations found a Soian Dreadstar with everything that entailed. You witnessed them forsaking their humanity as they elected to become like the Soians, beings of cold order that would finally bring order to chaos. In disgust you witnessed them butchering your lesser siblings, they ignored your pleas and warnings, fully set in the ways of the Soians until your hatred was unleashed. True hatred, the kind that consumed dozens of planets and three of your kind’s Worlds before you alone made a stand against it; not out of a sense of weariness or forgiveness but because of the principles that you had elected to follow to the end of your days. Your crew flocked to you and together contained your kind’s hatred and brought an end to the war but a question still lingers at the back of your collective minds: Do you hate them for the right reasons?” Fireblade finished drying up her hair and spread her mind in search of him but was unable to find him. She contemplated looking for him in the labyrinth that were her private chambers, she knew he was close but she couldn’t pinpoint his location.

“Indeed.”
He agreed, happy and relieved to have someone non-human come to that conclusion.

It was then that she remembered their first and only honest discussion and where it took place. She went to the nearest balcony and telekinetically flew upwards to the rooftop, finding him sitting at its very edge, with his legs hanging over the precipice of the long drop as he took in the view.

“You still wonder if you hated them for what they were and not for what they weren’t.”
He just nodded in agreement as she sat down next to him, letting her bare legs and feet hang over the edge like his legs were.

“A very important distinction that very few who hate ever consider.”
He sent after a few moments.

“Indeed, I understood this when I fully understood what you meant back onboard Tempest, when you chastised us for killing for the wrong reasons. We indeed killed for the wrong reasons because we hated for the wrong reasons. We hated and tried to wipe out the Mannadi because they weren’t obedient in defeat as we wanted them to be; yet we resisted in the same ways they did when the Shells occupied our worlds.”
She involuntary chuckled at that, the realization was painful but it had a sense of morbid amusement. “Being able to fully engross myself in events long past was… a revelation of shorts. What was the difference between what we did to the Mannadi to what the Shells did to us when we were occupied and resisted? I witnessed both first hand and the only difference was the foolish technicality that the Union was still at war! We Loroi would have resisted anyway and we would have found prideful solace in striking the Shells in the same way the Mannadi did when they stroke at our warriors.”

He nodded in silent agreement at that, his mind betraying a deep and personal conflict within him.

“What troubles you with what I sent?”
She asked him.

“My foolishness, I sanctimoniously believed that no Loroi would ever realize this when I was aboard Tempest. I was convinced that your society… no, that all of you were too far gone for anyone among you to ever realize this.” He replied.

“Yes, Tempo and Beryl both informed me about your outlook and demeanor towards us after they remembered but I understand that your principles guided you in making certain that we were truly irredeemable and unsalvageable even as you thought so in certainty back then. Tempo took some time to understand this but Beryl is still conflicted despite the fact that she wasn’t a recipient of your ire.”
Fireblade replied.

“She wasn’t meant to be a part of what happened.”


“Yes, we have all figured that out and I deeply appreciate your choice to include her; she has proven herself invaluable to me countless times.”

“High praise coming from the Emperor.”


“I was a Teidar before becoming the Emperor, I only ever learned to pass on the truth!”
She joked before continuing. “She has been a solid voice of temperance and understanding even towards aliens who fought besides the Shells. A rarity among the generation that was born and raised to fight in the Great War.”

“Was she part of the reason of how you came to be on the throne without any of the usual violence?”
He asked without thinking.

“We both know that Stillstorm just wanted to spite you.” She reminded him. “Why else would you agree for her to remember everything so soon after the fact?”

“That happened due to an equipment malfunction!”
He protested, his mind passing the answer as truthful but she knew better.

“You are a very adept liar.”
She chastised him.

“That’s a painful insult to come from you… but I have to be.”


“I understand and I appreciate it.”
She replied before continuing. “Stillstorm was certain that a Loroi civil war would inevitably occur if she accepted her ascension to the Diadem council. She had the popular backing to become the next Emperor despite Greywind and the Mizol voicing their concern about her; she could have fully cooperated with the Mizol but in doing so the Loroi Axis would feel betrayed and would revolt anyway. She realized that the Union needed a shock before a reformer could take control and she didn’t want that shock to be a civil war so she just denied the honor; publicly chastising the inept and corrupt politicking of the Diadem and the inherent inefficiency of the caste system as she did so.”

“I found the after effects of her vehement denial to be promoted amusing.”
He replied.

“Yes… It was refreshing to have a popular war hero speak up in favor of not just her own warrior caste but in favor of all Loroi as a singular people; that the system had failed us in the Great War and that we owed our existence as a race not to her prowess as a commander but to a race of aliens that helped us. She hit our pride as a supposed warrior race and she was right. We Loroi needed something new to guarantee our place in the cosmos.”

“And your Cult was strong and loud enough to draw attention to you just as the rank and file of both the Warrior and Civilian castes questioned the capabilities and morals of their collective leadership.”


“I always hated their adoration as if I was a demigod.”
Fireblade cut in.

“You mean you aren’t?”
She couldn’t help but laugh at that. “How was it? Being interviewed by the Emperor and the full Diadem while they secretly plotted to dispose of you because of the danger you represented to the wavering status quo?”

“Like being a fat Miros in the midst of a feral and starving diral band that wanted nothing less than to butcher me with whatever sharp object they had available. They didn’t expect what I showed them.”

“What did you show them? We never really found that out.”

“Parts and pieces of the greater truth, much in the same way you did. How weak we Loroi really are and the kind of enemies that we would eventually have to face. I kept humanity’s true nature secret from them but they learned of all the others near us and what they intend to do once they stop arguing about what happens after we Loroi are dealt with.”


“Clever girl.”
For some reason Fireblade just smiled at that, she would have found it insulting if that remark came from anyone else but she was happy to receive his praise.

“Keeping the façade of me Ascending on my own at our time of need was a necessity.” Fireblade admitted. “However they still couldn’t accept all of it. They believed me but they are all too entrenched in their way of thinking, unable to endorse the solution that even they admitted of being a necessity.”

“Reshaping the caste system is a tall order.”
He commented.

“It is but it is necessary, we Loroi were born to fight; many will recoil about what our ancestors did so long ago but we Loroi will have to fight as a whole if we and ours are to survive.”


“I don’t think that you Loroi will take part in what is to come.”
He commented.

“That’s optimistic of you. You humans are alone in what you are, alone against all others out there. You are stronger than them, wielding weapons and abilities that they don’t but you are still alone. They will take the logical solution the moment they grasp the truth about your kind and that solution will be to set aside their differences and destroy the only force able to destroy the stagnated status quo that they have settled themselves onto. Your kind cannot fight all of them alone.”
Fireblade pointed out dryly.

“You Loroi have a lot of work to do before you can protect yourselves, how much too actually wage war against them.”


“We were slightly ahead of you technologically just a thousand of your years ago but here you now are. We won’t take that long.” Fireblade replied.

“Really? You do realize that we advanced so fast technologically because we wanted new and more inventive ways for killing each other?”


“Not really, if the need for new tools of war was what truly drives technological advancement then the Delrias empires would still be the dominant forces of the local bubble. Your kind advanced because some of you embraced the pursuit of technology above all else. I want to believe that it was the manifestation of a deep seated need of wanting to repair the damage that the Soians had inflicted on you.”
It was his turn to chuckle at that.

“It has been a lot of time since a human thought like that.”


“Being alone does poison one’s mind.”
Fireblade replied. “When I and Tempo remembered I wanted to understand why you were so conflicted about us, loathing us with such intensity and yet caring about us, in your own way. Tempo thought at first that you were just an insane individual who ended up helping us but I wasn’t convinced. We Loroi have committed plenty of crimes, it’s justifiable to loathe and hate us but I still looked for answers in our own past. In the end I realized that we were alone as well, not like your kind was but as the only telepaths among those who had yet to Ascend. We could sense everything about them and what they thought of us but we never saw them as our equals. We Loroi were alone among all those we thought of as inferior and we were more than ready to act like the Soians if we were allowed the time necessary to do that. We Loroi are the only ones who are able to match you and we were more than prepared to throw it all away in our own perverse pursuit of ‘order’. I felt disgust once I realized where that path would inevitably lead because all those who wanted to enforce their ‘order’ on those they deemed lesser had walked it before us. It was the self-centered disgust of those who didn’t like the multitude of answers of ‘what gives us the right to enforce our will to others?’. How did our ancestors dare to position themselves as lawmakers, judges and jailers of those weaker than us? We have no right over them as they have no right over us. Those who think and act otherwise are the worse kind of scum for there is no depth they will not sink to in the pursuit of their sense of ‘order’. All of those that came before us destroyed everything worthwhile about them and their victims in their pursuit of ‘order’, lying to themselves every step of the way to damnation. I saw us at the precipice of that path and the only thing I felt was disgust towards my kind’s folly. We weren’t truly alone but we shut the others away because we thought that they were either a stepping stone or a hindrance to our ‘true glory’, there to only serve us or be swept aside by us.” Fireblade just stared idly at the distance as she finished, knowing that he too was doing that same.

“So what is next for you Loroi?”
He asked after a few long Solons.

“We need a new purpose, something worthwhile to look forward to.”


“And what may that be?”


“I first thought that we Loroi should open our minds and not feel so lonely when we are surrounded by so many sapient races but I don’t think it’s enough, then I thought that your kind has suffered enough of being alone but that wasn’t enough either. We Loroi are responsible for the member races of the Union and all those we have subjugated; they are not pawns to be used as we will but our collective responsibility born through our collective actions. We Loroi will try to find a way to properly work with all of them and perhaps together we will find the answers each of us seeks from the cosmos.” Fireblade replied.

“That’s… an interesting answer.”
He replied, his mind betraying his genuine surprise.

“It will be a challenge but we Loroi will not shirk from our responsibilities.”
Fireblade replied. “Besides, I don’t think that you Humans will be satisfied with just us to be your equals.”

“First you want to help us with the false Ascendants and now you want to Ascend with all the others!”
He laughed at that. “You Loroi are even greater fools than us.”

“Maybe so but no one has done it before.” Fireblade replied.

“Indeed, no one has.” He agreed before remembering a question that he felt was awkward to ask.

“What is it?”


“It’s nothing.”
He replied truthfully.

“You are a truly amazing liar.”
He flinched at that

“Fine…”
He recollected his wits before he continued. “I had expected you to have given birth at least a couple of times by now but you have elected not to. Why is that?”

“I know for a fact that your females would hate to have that question asked but it isn’t something my subordinates and cultists haven’t asked already…”
Fireblade begun. “I usually answer them by pointing out that I don’t have enough time for that but I doubt that you will fully satisfied with this half-truth.” She sensed his regret for asking that question. “I insisted on you asking so I will answer, it’s no fault of their own but they are too limited. I sense their kindness and outlook towards me, gentle and comforting like a Loroi male should be but they are too limited. I cannot truly relate to them, nor can I find solace with any of them.”

“I feared that was the case. I could arrange for one to Ascend like you did.”
He replied. “One of the initial plans was to have a group of highly influential males Ascend and take a role of spiritual leadership so it isn’t something that it hasn’t been considered already.”

“You didn’t go forward with that plan because such a group of males would be unable to truly relate with any of us females. They would inevitably isolate themselves due to this and all would be for naught. That’s why you included the others, alone I would inevitably isolate myself and wither away but Tempo, Beryl and Stillstorm know and have been broadened enough for me to relate to. A lone Ascended male would still be alone as I would be his only solace. I won’t accept a male to suffer like that so I could bear children.”


“So you will be forever childless? You are aware of the gossips about you being mentally ill due to your desire to be left alone in your limited free time, it would be best for everyone involved if you proved these gossips wrong before your mental stability itself comes into question.”

“I am aware of the gossips but as I said they are too limited and I won’t accept the lifetime of lonely torment of a male so I may bear a child or two.”
Fireblade replied.

“There are artificial means of getting impregnated.”

“And have the gossips be about me being unwilling to mate with a male?”
Fireblade pointed out.

“You can lie to everyone and you can hide at will, just sneak out a day or two and return impregnated by an unknown male. It’s not like high ranking Loroi haven’t done that before and everything else can be arranged.”

“Wait a moment, why are you so insistent of this? It’s not just because you are worried about how your plan may be derailed due to my decision on the matter.”
She asked in order to change the subject.

“I… don’t try to change the subject.”


“Answer me so I may answer you.”
Fireblade insisted.

“Stubborn female.”


“I am still waiting for an answer.”


“You and the others have far exceeded my expectations and I feel responsible for putting you…”
Her spontaneous laughter cut him off at that.

“Says the human who is known for ‘going blue’ with his mates.”


“Alright, I deserved that.”
He replied with clearly felt embarrassment at that.

“Still, it’s painful to know that my childlessness may prove a hindrance to everything. I have already adopted six children from both the warrior and civilian classes but I know that they are all waiting for the birth of my child. Loroi are fools like that and fools have the habit of causing trouble over petty things like this.”
Fireblade continued.

“I am sorry.”


“For what? Someone has to lead and I was in the best possible position to serve both as a rallying point and a necessary reformer for my kind. I don’t want to feel indispensable but there are times where I don’t see how anyone else would be able to guide them peacefully.”
Fireblade replied dismissively. “Besides, your own ‘Pale horse’ cult gives you enough trouble as it is, worrying about me and the others is foolish when there is so much. This is the best possible outcome we could have considering how everything could unfold.”

“So you know about my cult?”


“Hard to miss when you are able to look at the past. The man whose stubbornness tamed a hateful collective of billions. Wise, infallible, a peerless leader who ended the war and somehow salvaged humanity’s soul while doing so. They are almost as ridiculous as my own cultists.”


“You want to change places?”
He teased her.

“No, I had enough trouble coming to understand mine, I don’t want the headache of understanding yours.”
She replied with a laugh before sitting idly next to him for a few long solons. “So what do we do now?”

“We do what every sentient being in the universe does; we keep going the course until we are no longer able to.”
He replied.

“That’s as good a plan as any.” Fireblade replied just as he disappeared, undoubtedly teleporting to a ship in orbit. She stared upwards to the nightly sky, knowing that he would be somewhere there looking down to the planet. “I will make sure that you won’t be alone for long.”

Epilogue: viewtopic.php?p=30172#p30172

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by Guest on Mon Jun 04, 2018 1:56 pm, edited 3 times in total.



Sun Jun 03, 2018 2:03 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Completed: 06/04/2018)
Epilogue

The children were restless, they were always restless but more so now that the day’s lessons were about to end but this last lesson was by far the most important one in shaping the future generation’s outlook to the cosmos.

“Now children, who can tell me what the divines are?” Most of the children turned their attention to their teacher as he said that.

“The divines are the ones who destroyed the Enslavers and restored our minds and bodies.” A perky and cheerful child replied.

“That’s true, the divines are those who destroyed the Enslavers and repaired the damage they inflicted on our kind’s minds and bodies but that’s not what I asked.” The teacher replied. “The question was ‘What the divines are’, not who and what they did for us. So can anyone here tell me what the divines are?” All of the children looked at each other and then at their teacher with a dumbfounded expression at that.

“Our Iron Age ancestors, right after our liberation and restoration, thought of the divines as omniscient and omnipresent gods. All powerful and infallible beings who descended from the skies to free us and help us. Eons passed and numerous religions rose and fell, all of them depicting the divines with a different light and all of them believing that their own depictions were the one and only truth. They inevitably warred with each other but the divines never descended to help any single one of their so called champions, the many miracles claimed to be as such throughout the ages being either freak coincidences or just plain trickery. In time the religions subsided and the divines became myths, ancient stories that no one pain any particular attention to until we roamed the stars and found them again. They weren’t anything like the stories, both greater and lesser but they never had forgotten about us and the ancient war against the Enslavers. The remaining believers of the ancient religions gloated at the irrefutable proof of their beliefs but they also asked why they had been abandoned by those who they believed in. The divines answered by explaining who and what the Enslavers we so hated were.” The teacher noticed that all of the students were paying attention now and smiled before continuing.

“They taught us of the Tregons, an alien race much like ours who were born on a faraway planet. They had risen humbly and slowly, from the Stone age to the Space age and beyond. They were a passionate race, warring among themselves and other children of the stars until they were the lords of a stellar domain far greater than out own. The explained the Tregon ideals of all life being worthy and how strife and material needs separated us from other children of the stars. How they took steps to preserve all life around them, even their former enemies and they showed us how all thrived under Tregon rule. For uncountable millennia the Tregon empire stood strong but the Tregons themselves had changed in that time, they sought perfection in themselves and they slowly altered their minds and bodies to become something they considered superior but in doing so they discarded everything that made them who they were. They soon sought to implement their ideal perfection and harmony onto those they held dominion over, to cut away and discard everything that they deemed superfluous and distracting. The Tregons were no more, they were just beings who held onto an ideal of perfect harmony, dictating onto everyone what to do and how to do it, violently subjugating all in their path even those who passively disagreed with their vision of perfection.”

“The Enslavers!” A child cut in. “Were the Tregons the Enslavers?”

“Yes indeed they were and they did everything because they truly believed that it was for the best. They truly believed that only through cold and impartial logic would they be able to lead everyone into a new era of perfect harmony within their domain and they turned themselves into beings of cold and impartial logic to make their vision a reality. They shaped their domain and their subjects as they saw fit and in time all imperfections among their subjects were cut off and discarded. Whether those imperfections were essential parts of the minds and bodies of their subjects bore no consideration. They wanted to make things perfect and so they did.”

“But our ancestors hated them and struggled against them!” Another child pointed out.

“Yes they did but only at first since they were unable to care afterwards, the Enslavers made sure that the mere thought of dissent was impossible to be formed in our minds. In the end our ancestors were alive in body but their minds were not, they were biological automatons that simply lived in a seemingly utopian society without any wants or passions. An existence where they were simply taken care off by the Enslavers.”

“It doesn’t sound that bad, they must have played all day!” Another child commented and the teacher couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“Our ancestors weren’t playing all day because they were rendered unable to have fun.”

“How can that be?”

“Imagine a dreamless sleep, your body is alive but your mind slumbers and is unable to think of anything. Now imagine your body moving on its own, taking care of its needs and doing everything that the enslavers deemed necessary for you to do but with your mind still in a dreamless and thoughtless sleep.” The teacher explained.

“That’s no fun at all!”

“Indeed it isn’t little one. Life wasn’t fun, it just was. A stagnant life, an Utopia without hardship and pain but also without excitement and enjoyment. This continued on for countless millennia until the divines destroyed the Enslavers, restored the minds and bodies of all the Enslavers victims before leaving us alone because for all their strengths, abilities and all of the immeasurable debt we owe them they never succumbed to the temptation of dictating how we as a race should or should not go on living our lives. All of the triumphs, mistakes, tragedies and accomplishments of our kind are ours and ours alone. Others may in time learn from us but what is ours is ours and no one will take it from us. That is the creed they live by, they protect the young children of the stars from those older than them who seek to cause harm but they don’t interfere because our lives are our own. Whatever hardships and glories we as a race live through will be ours alone and they will never allow anyone else to take this freedom from us.” The teacher paused and looked into the eyes of each and every child in the classroom before continuing. “Now, can anyone of you think of what the divines are?” The children just looked at their teacher with dumbfounded expressions for several long moments before one of them replied.

“Are they like the Tregons but without making the same mistakes that turned them into the Enslavers?”

“A good answer but not the right one, the divines explained that they too used to be subjugated by an advanced race that was very much like the Enslavers. The divines are also a cooperative of three distinct alien races: The tall and lithe Selen, the small winged Erux and the stout Glavianhy. All of them represented in the three distinct forms of the divines that our religions worshiped. They explained that they too had been freed and helped by others who they too had in turn been freed. They showed us how all of the ancient races made the same mistake of discarding their passions for cold logic and how in turn they tormented the younger races for an infinite variety of reasons.”

“So the divines are like us?”

“Indeed they are, people that they too were enslaved and forcibly altered in their past. They too were freed, healed and in turn looked upon those who had freed them with worship in their minds.” The teacher replied.

“Is this the reason why it’s forbidden to worship them?”

“Indeed that’s the reason and there is also the fact of them asking us not to worship them or even to consider their actions as anything other than what was necessary of them to do. They are like us, if not in mind and form then in the common aspects of our history and how our ancestors suffered. We still call them divines and look upon them in wonder because that’s how advanced and wise they are compared to us but we don’t worship them because we will eventually Ascend to where they stand and join them as equal children of the stars; eventually we too will strike down an enslaver and help those who suffered under them.” It was then that the teacher noticed that it was well past the time that the class should have been dismissed but the children had yet to point it out.

“If the divines were enslaved like us and were liberated by others who had also been enslaved and liberated does that mean that there is someone who started everything?” One of the brightest children asked, pleasantly surprising the teacher who had planned to broach the subject in the next class.

“The universe would be a sad place if only the Enslavers and those like them stood over us but the divines have their own legends in which the universe was indeed lorded over by enslavers, a cosmos where everyone either stagnated or became such. That was the universe until the First arose. These Legends have been passed along from liberator to liberated since time immemorial, there are many variants, many of them confusing if not downright contradictory but many common themes exist in all of them. They all begin with a race that naturally held all powers that we associate with the divines, they lived in peace until an enslaver race discovered them, stole their powers and stroke them down, leaving them for dead. The enslavers then made another race using the powers and image of those they had destroyed but their new creations saw the injustices that their creators were committing and stroked them down, freeing themselves and the other enslaved.
However the race these Copies were derived from wasn’t dead. They came close to extinction but they persevered and in time thrived; however their lives were ones of solitude, cursed to exist in an area where no other sapient race had risen. Their loneliness drew them to extremes, striking at each other and waging endless wars against one another; thriving and advancing through the blood of their own kin until they Ascended to Divinity.

They stood as the First Divines atop the broken remains of their own kin, hating themselves for what they did before finally turning their attention outwards to a universe that was suddenly full of life when previously it hold nothingness. They witnessed the sick order of things where countless of enslavers did as they thought best to the countless of the enslaved they held dominion over.
And amidst everything they found their Copies dominating others as an enslaver would while waging a desperate war against a young race that sought to become an enslaver in turn. The First were conflicted, some seeing their Copies as an affront to their own existence, others were terrified of seeing their own selves and mistakes mirrored by their Copies while others held gratitude towards those that had destroyed the enslavers who had harmed them.

The First Divines were indecisive on what to do but a small number of them acted on their own and aided their Copies in their time of need. For all their prowess they couldn’t properly explain why they aided them but the Copies saw the sickness of Solitude within the First and decided to help them in turn, vowing to the First that they wouldn’t be alone anymore as the Copies and their alien allies Ascended to Divinity. It didn’t take long for many of the ancient enslavers to challenge the First and their new companions only to be soundly defeated, their domains destroyed and their slaves liberated and repaired like we were, thus starting the many cycles of liberation and Ascension that continue to this day. The Legends of the First all end with a pilgrimage of the newly Ascended to the birthplace of the First, to pass along their appreciation and show them that they are not alone anymore and that they won’t be alone until the moment that the universe itself comes to an end.”

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by Guest on Mon Jun 04, 2018 10:54 am, edited 2 times in total.



Sun Jun 03, 2018 2:06 pm
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Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
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Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Completed: 06/04/2018)
After three months of medical related delays, rewrites, scrapping of at least a chapter's worth of content I can finally say that 'The Pale Horse' is over. Some minor rewriting is in order but that should be easy enough. I freely admit that 'The Pale Horse' isn't among my best works, there are points where the story could be served better and things made far more clearer for the reader but I am not that good of a writer, yet.

Now to proceed with the 'Reforged' which as a story I have been working on in manuscript format.

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Sun Jun 03, 2018 2:14 pm
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Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 2:14 am
Posts: 638
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Completed: 06/04/2018)
Spoiler: show
Skipped proofreading the first, as only much later I saw some passages where a different formulation might have worked better.
So I only point out errors the Epilogue. Sorry.

dragoongfa wrote:
Epilogue

[...]“Our Iron Age ancestors, right after our liberation and restoration, thought of the divines as omniscient and omnipresent gods. All powerful and infallible beings who descended from the skies to free us and help us. Eons passed and numerous religions rose and fell, all of them depicting the divines with a different light and all of them believing that their own depictions were the one and only truth. They inevitably warred with each other but the divines never descended to help any single one of their so called champions, the many miracles claimed to be as such throughout the ages being either freak coincidences or just plain trickery. In time the religions subsided and the divines became myths, ancient stories that no one pain paid any particular attention to until we roamed the stars and found them again. They weren’t anything like the stories, both greater and lesser but they never had forgotten about us and the ancient war against the Enslavers. The remaining believers of the ancient religions gloated at the irrefutable proof of their beliefs but they also asked why they had been abandoned by those who they believed in. The divines answered by explaining who and what the Enslavers we so hated were.” The teacher noticed that all of the students were paying attention now and smiled before continuing.

“They taught us of the Tregons, an alien race much like ours who were born on a faraway planet. They had risen humbly and slowly, from the Stone age to the Space age and beyond. They were a passionate race, warring among themselves and other children of the stars until they were the lords of a stellar domain far greater than out our own. They explained the Tregon ideals of all life being worthy and how strife and material needs separated us from other children of the stars. How they took steps to preserve all life around them, even their former enemies and they showed us how all thrived under Tregon rule. For uncountable millennia the Tregon empire stood strong but the Tregons themselves had changed in that time, they sought perfection in themselves and they slowly altered their minds and bodies to become something they considered superior but in doing so they discarded everything that made them who they were. They soon sought to implement their ideal perfection and harmony onto those they held dominion over, to cut away and discard everything that they deemed superfluous and distracting. The Tregons were no more, they were just beings who held onto an ideal of perfect harmony, dictating onto everyone what to do and how to do it, violently subjugating all in their path even those who passively disagreed with their vision of perfection.”

[...]

“Yes indeed they were and they did everything because they truly believed that it was for the best. They truly believed that only through cold and impartial logic would they be able to lead into a new era of perfect harmony within their domain and they turned themselves into beings of cold and impartial logic to make their vision a reality. They shaped their domain and their subjects as they saw fit and in time all imperfections among their subjects were cut off and discarded. Whether those imperfections were essential parts of the minds and bodies and their subject bore no consideration. They wanted to make things perfect and so they did.”

[...]

“Indeed that’s the reason and there is also the fact of them asking us not to worship them or even to consider their actions as anything other than what was necessary of them to do. They are like us, if not in mind and form then in the common aspects of our history and how our ancestors suffered. We still call them divines and look upon them in wonder because that’s how advanced and wise they are compared to us but we don’t worship them because we will eventually Ascend to where they stand and join them as equal children of the stars; eventually we too will strike down an enslaver and help those who suffered under them.” It was then that the teacher noticed that it was well past the time that the class should have been dismissed but no child had yet to point it out. no child had yet to point it out... sounds.... not like what you likely wanted to say. Maybe "no child had pointed it out yet."?

[...]

“The universe who would be a sad place if only the Enslavers and those like them stood over us but the divines have their own legends in which the universe was indeed lorded over by enslavers, a cosmos where everyone either stagnated or became such. That was the universe until the First arose. These Legends have been passed along from liberator to liberated since time immemorial, there are many variants many of them confusing if not downright contradictory but many common themes exist in all of them. They all begin with a race that naturally held all powers that we associate with the divines, they lived in peace until an enslaver race discovered them, stole their powers and stroke them down, leaving them for dead. The enslavers then made another race using the powers and image of those they had destroyed but their new creations saw the injustices that their creators were committing and stroked them down, freeing themselves and the other enslaved.
However the race these Copies were derived from wasn’t dead. They came close to extinction but they persevered and in time thrived; however their lives were ones of solitude, cursed to exist in an area where no other sapient race had risen. Their loneliness drew them to extremes, striking at each other and waging endless wars against one another; thriving and advancing through the blood of their own kin until they Ascended to Divinity.

They stood as the First Divines atop the broken remains of their own kin, hating themselves for what they did before finally turning their attention outwards to a universe that was suddenly full of life when previously it hold held nothingness. They witnessed the sick order of things where countless of enslavers did as they thought best to the countless of the enslaved they held dominion over.
And amidst everything they found their Copies dominating others as an enslaver would while waging a desperate war against a young race that sought to become an enslaver. The First were conflicted, some seeing their Copies as an affront to their own existence, others were terrified of seeing their own selves and mistakes mirrored by their Copies while others held gratitude towards those that had destroyed the enslavers who had harmed them.

The First Divines were indecisive on what to do but a small number of them acted on their own and aided their Copies in their time of need. For all their prowess they couldn’t properly explain why they aided them but the Copies saw the sickness of Solitude within the First and decided to help them in turn, vowing to the First that they wouldn’t be alone anymore as the Copies and their aliens Ascended to Divinity. It didn’t take long for many of the ancient enslavers to challenge the First and their new companions only to be soundly defeated, their domains destroyed and their slaves liberated and repaired like we were, thus starting the many cycles of liberation and Ascension that continue to this day. The Legends of the First all end with a pilgrimage of the newly Ascended to the birthplace of the First, to pass along their appreciation and show them that they are not alone anymore and that they won’t be alone until the moment that the universe itself comes to an end.”



Again, fanstastic writing.
Man, we Humans suck. Feeling so lonely, that all Ascendends after us need to visit us so we won't feel lonely....
What a bunch of crybabies we Humans are...

Very fitting.

Thank You, dragoongfa!

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charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123


Mon Jun 04, 2018 6:58 am
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Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
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Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Completed: 06/04/2018)
Thanks Krulle but silly question, did you realize that I posted two parts?

Just checking :P

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Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
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Mon Jun 04, 2018 11:11 am
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Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 2:14 am
Posts: 638
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Completed: 06/04/2018)
Yes, I noted. I was so eager gulfing it down, that I was too far when I noticed I should've taken correction notes, while reading the first part....


And I liked Fireblade's and Alexander's conversation....

Pity for Fireblade to remain without kids of her own, but sometimes I wonder how and if unborn kids are affected by their mother's telepathy, and therefore if Fireblade's problems and tramata would traumatize her unborn child....


BTW, I hope you're better now, and that the reason for,the "medical delays" have been removed for ever.

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charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123


Mon Jun 04, 2018 12:35 pm
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Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1475
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Completed: 06/04/2018)
Krulle wrote:
BTW, I hope you're better now, and that the reason for,the "medical delays" have been removed for ever.


Unfortunately it's something that will be with me till the end of my days, hopefully with the help of modern medicine I will be kept stable and fully functioning for the duration. Thanks for your wishes however, they mean a lot to me.

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My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Mon Jun 04, 2018 1:25 pm
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Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2011 9:28 pm
Posts: 692
Location: Central Florida
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Completed: 06/04/2018)
dragoongfa wrote:
Krulle wrote:
BTW, I hope you're better now, and that the reason for,the "medical delays" have been removed for ever.


Unfortunately it's something that will be with me till the end of my days, hopefully with the help of modern medicine I will be kept stable and fully functioning for the duration. Thanks for your wishes however, they mean a lot to me.


:cry: *hugs*

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Hoenn


Tue Jun 05, 2018 12:13 am
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Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 2:14 am
Posts: 638
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Completed: 06/04/2018)
Pity.
I hope modern medicine will be able to keep your life quality high anyway.

Hugs, and a beer?

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charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123


Tue Jun 05, 2018 12:52 am
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Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:38 pm
Posts: 247
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] The pale horse (Completed: 06/04/2018)
dragoongfa wrote:
Krulle wrote:
BTW, I hope you're better now, and that the reason for,the "medical delays" have been removed for ever.


Unfortunately it's something that will be with me till the end of my days, hopefully with the help of modern medicine I will be kept stable and fully functioning for the duration. Thanks for your wishes however, they mean a lot to me.


I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope all goes as well as it can. :cry:


Tue Jun 05, 2018 3:08 pm
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